Alright! What do I know? There was a forest next to me, but it disappeared, the grass can probably see me somehow, the grass is probably poisonous, the grass will grow when I’m under it, and it burns very well at the touch. Alright, I think that’s it… Now, we already decided I have no fire and I can’t drink its blood. I guess I should probably check.

I flew up for a bit going as quickly as possible in case it somehow made a difference, but at a hundred meters something changed. I went from flying up to being upside down in an instant, with the grass getting closer and closer by the second. I tried to flip over as quickly as possible, and somehow managed to before my inevitable doom. I was only a few centimeters away from the grass when I righted myself, and the grass seemed to want to correct this. As if it could feel my presence, it sped up from a few millimeters a second to a few centimeters. It was chasing me as I flew away from it, and It was catching up. After my fall, everything about the grass’ growth had sped up, how quickly it went up, its area, but not its degrowth rate. As I left the grass behind, instead of getting shorter again the grass just kept growing, leaving towers of grass behind me. I started going up as I flew forward, trying to stay above my rising floor of death. As I kept flying, I almost bashed into a wall of grass. It appeared out of nowhere, one second I was flying away, possibly outrunning the evil grass, and the next there was just a wall of it in front of me. I turned around quickly, only to find that behind me was completely clear? What? Doesn’t matter! I started flying back the way I came, but as soon as I flew a few meters I could see that the grass in front of me was taller than the grass behind…

Okay, something dastardly is going on here! I took a ninety degree turn to the right, and started flying that way instead. To my relief, this grass actually hadn’t started growing yet, and I probably had a few minutes of time to think before it caught up.

Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.

What the hell was happening!?!?! Was the grass… learning!?!?! NO! NO! If it was learning it would have started growing out this way too. Clearly it was doing something else. But what!?!?!?! Wait a second… Turning me upside down, grass just appearing, my mental bridges being cut off… Cold the grass… manipulate space!?!? IS THIS SPACE BREAKING GRASS!?!?! What the hell!?!?! GRASS CAN’T DO THAT! THIS GRASS IS MORE OP THAN I AM! THAT’S NOT FAIR! It’s grass! I am being outdone by a plant! A PLANT! NOT EVEN A GOOD PLANT! BUT GRASS! THE WEAKEST PLANT IN EXISTENCE!

Alright! I need to deal with this quickly. If I don’t it’s going to wreck me. What are my options!?!?

…No. I can’t. Not again. But… What else can I do!?!?! I don’t have a choice… I'm gonna have to go rock again. If I’m a rock it’ll probably ignore me, right? RIGHT!?!?! Seeing absolutely no other option, I flew down a little closer to the grass so I would smash into the ground and break, and I… Acted like a rock. I fell down into the grass, obscuring my view… Uh oh. Wait, how do I get out now…? I was more trapped than before. While I wasn’t being actively hunted by the grass anymore, there was nowhere I could fly. Rocks can’t fly, I was practically a statue, I couldn’t even move my wings. All of a sudden, the ground started shaking. It was an earthquake! All around me, the grass blades were shaking like mad men.

Then, all of sudden, it happened. My cultist connections were back! Deciding it was a bad idea to stick around and find out what was going on, I teleported to a random spider, and started falling… through their web. I hit the ground with a thud, completely covered in webs.