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27. Rocky Rock

Alright. So. Scary, sorry, cute, spiders can hunt. Then why don’t they hunt? SPiders? Why don’t you hunt? At that question, I finally got no answer. Great. They didn’t think to hunt. Seriously, I can’t believe their first thought when they are hungry is cannibalism. Alright spiders! Let’s go hunt! Time to find some food! I started flying off into the distance, but they didn’t follow. Spiders? Instead of following, the spiders decided to expand their webs. Spiders? I said it’s time to hunt!

Spiders? SPIDERS! C’MON! SPIDERS! LET’S GO HUNT! Aright, alright. This is not working. No matter what I say, they won’t stop expanding that stupid web. Ugh. It’s fine! I’ll calm down. Like a rock. Be a rock.

Like a Rock level up. Constitution multiplier is now 3.24x.

Please choose level 5 specialization for Like a Rock.

Wait what!?!?! Why is my multiplier so high!?!? What happened here? System!?!? Can I have some help?

Processing request…

Request Granted!

Constitution multiplier breakdown:

Base: 1

Like a Rock: 0.04

Swarm Tactics: 2.17

Bloodsucker(+2): 0.03

Wait a minute… Are my cultists part of my swarm? Hahaha. HAHAHAHAHA! I AM INVINCIBLE! I thought Bloodsucker made me invincible, but with this. I am truly invincible. I’ve probably got so much health nobody can believe it. System, how much health do I have?

Health: 494/494

Oh yeah! Even if I die, I’ll come back with so much health you won’t be able to do anything! Two lives! Oh wait. More importantly! I have a specialization to choose! System! Let me see my options!

Like a Rock(Lv5):

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Rocky Thinker:

Requirements - Like a Rock(Lv5)

Think like a rock.

Rocky Patience:

Requirements - Like a Rock(Lv5)

Wait like a rock.

Rocky Acting:

Requirements - Like a Rock(Lv5)

Play dead like a rock.

…What the hell is that? Seriously? This makes no sense. Then again… so does the skill. Alright. So what do I want? Thinking like a rock sounds like a bad idea. I don’t know what that does but I think I’d rather not have to worry about my brain turning off. Rocky patience could be good. I’d say rocks are pretty patient, and patience doesn’t hurt anyone. Or I could play dead. Playing dead seems pretty good, right? Rocks aren’t alive so I’d imagine they can play dead pretty well. Alright! Let’s learn to play dead, in case Mr. Ex Cultist comes back. I’d rather he thinks I’m dead. Alright System, give me Rocky Acting!

Specialization Rocky Acting chosen.

Woah. I just got some really weird information in my head. I think I can… turn my skin into stone? Can I be a statue? Wait, this is so cool. I gotta try this. So, I followed the instructions implanted in my head by this new specialization. I released some magic around the edges of my legs, wings, and abdomen before hardening it to be like stone. And then I… stood there? Wow, I’m… a rock. This… is actually kinda boring. Alright, how do I turn this off?

Wait seriously, how do I turn this off!?!?! IT DIDN’T COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS TO TURN IT OFF!?!?! Uhhh. Calm down! Like a rock! Wait no! Not like a rock! I DON’T WANT TO BE A ROCK ANYMORE! SOMEONE HELP ME! SPIDERS! PLEASE! I’M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE! PLEASE! THIS ISN'T FAIR! I WANT TO BE FREE! LET ME MOVE! I DON’T WANT TO BE A ROCK ANYMORE! I’m… free? Huh? What just happened?

It just turned off. I don't think I did anything… Doesn’t matter! I am never using that skill again. Ugh. That is honestly terrifying. I don’t like being a rock. Moving is nice. Yeah, I should get a new calming method… What can I use instead of like a rock? Like a tree? Yeah! Let’s try that. Trees are at least alive. They are way better than rocks. I will be like a tree from now on! Nothing but a bad storm or a saw will bring me down! Like a tree!

Skill Like a Tree obtained.

…Alright system, I’ll hear you out. What does Like a Tree do?

Like a Tree:

Take on the properties of a tree.

Alright. I give up.