Hello again! Today was a kinda fun.

We woke up, stretched, had some breakfast, and enjoyed the sun rise. Then we flipped a coin. Fancy looking chair and we would assault to the left, man with very large nose and we would assault to the right.

To the left were the lands of House Bosvarum. They had a yellow bull pulling a plow as their standard and were the House with the most fertile lands, they fed most the rest of the kingdom and traded the surplus for a good profit. They were not one of the favorites to win the throne according to Onica, who I guess heard it from Morana? Because they had a very small army compared to their territory. Most of their able bodied men and women were working the farms that filled their domain, and the horses they would normally use for war were instead used to plough fields.

To the right were the lands of House Rottaxus, an old clan whose standard was a fat red weasel looking thing. They had once been a powerhouse due to their mines and forges, but nowadays their mines had run dry and their forges were cold. So they struggled to compete with the other Houses. They were known for their heavy infantry though. The narrow valleys and steep hills of their domain making the otherwise dominant cavalry obsolete in their lands.

Either way, sounded like a fun day, right?

The fancy chair landed so we headed off to beat up the cow banner people.

Onica and Fen headed off ahead of us. They were the fastest of us and wouldn't get lost while Lena would keep Julius and me from wandering off. Onica would scout out the enemy location, and then we would regroup and crush them. Gently, as requested.

That was the plan anyway.

Shortly after Onica and Fen headed out I saw a nice burbling stream. It had been a windy day and there was a lot of dust in the air. So I stopped for a dip and a wash. I jumped into the water, and I swear I only drifted a little ways. When I popped up I had the dubious honor of surprising an army.

They had the yellow cow of our target waving on their banners. All infantry, most without any armor at all. Simple spears and quite a few bows were the only weapons I could see. The dirty 'soldiers' making up the ranks looked like farmers out hunting wolves. Not troops marching to war. They clearly lacked training, discipline, and a proper armory.

Me and the lead soldier exchanged shocked looks for three seconds that felt like three days. 'Please don't freak out' I silently implored him. 'Or I will have to hurt you' A violet thread of light spun into being, connecting my eyes and his. The unfortunate soldier, who probably hadn't even wanted to be in the very front of the army anyway, paled. His face turned white with a sick green tinge and he started to sweat profusely. His limbs shook as he tried desperately to turn his head, to look away, to no avail.

Of course, he was only one soldier in an entire army of 500-ish soldiers. So while we were having our little moment other, arguably smarter, soldiers were stringing bows and nocking arrows. By the time the first soldier was a twitching mess on the ground I had been surrounded by spearmen.  A ring of pointy sharp metal hemming me in from all directions.

Hm, I saw their forest of sharp metal, and I raised them A FIRE BLAST TO THE FACE!!!

Since I was still standing in the stream my upping of the ante was met with an eruption of steam and screams. Wooden handles burnt, metal spearheads melted, flesh bubbled and sloughed off of bone. The screams vanished as quickly as they appeared as the poor souls screaming no longer had mouths to scream with, or faces for that matter.

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It was pretty dang brutal, if I must say so myself.

Said brutality kinda freaked out the vast majority of soldiers who had the good fortune to be outside of the blast radius. They started moving away from me, slowly, like they were trying not to wake up a sleeping dragon they found napping in their house. High pitched screams of "FIRE, FIRE, FIRE YOU FOOLS! TURN THAT MONSTER INTO A PINCUSHION!" Roused some forward movement from the rearmost units. With a staggered snapping and clatter swarms of arrows filled the air. They buzzed angriy towards me in a storm of bloody-minded wood and steel.

I knew exactly what to do! MORE FIRE!

Sadly this proved a less helpful choice than expected. The arrows burned wonderfully, but the now molten heads still had enough oomph behind them to reach me. Most missed, slapping into the mess of blood and flesh that had been an idyllic stream a few minutes ago. But fully a dozen splatted onto my arms, legs, and torso. The heat from the molten metal didn't bother me at the time so I just left it alone. Peeling the cooled metal slugs off of me later hurt like pulling teeth. From an awake and very alive mountain lion.

Anyway, the army broke and ran after my latest display of awesomeness was combined with a flash of purple light and a roaring dragon made of my fire. The leader of the ill-fated army, the head of House Bosvarum as it happens, had been thrown from his horse in all the chaos of a full force unordered retreat. He was a very fat man, with no discernable neck and very oily hair he kept slicking back nervously.

He had been trying to run away with his army. But a fat man in shiny and heavy armor is a very to outrun. So he got caught pretty damn quick. He was the guy who had been screaming about me being a monster. Pretty high voice for all his bulk.

Lena and Julius arrived just in time to see the last of his forces run out of sight. They were very disappointed they didn't get to join in the fight. Lena called dibs on the next army, with Julius calling the one after that. I guess that's only fair, right? Julius sulkily added the fat guys armor to his hoard. It was very nice. Sturdy plate, engraved with depictions of the four seasons, and how they affected a field of wheat. I snagged some nice white bread from his personal supply wagon that had been left behind in all the panic earlier. Good bread is hard to find.

Anyway, we carted the fat guy, I never bothered learning his name, back towards Moranas base. Onica and Fen met us on the way. They had scouted the Bosvarum stronghold and found it nearly empty of troops. So they had swung back around only to find a panicking army running as fast as they can for the fort. I'm guessing it'll be pretty easy to get them to surrender now that they're leaderless and afraid.

Morana was thrilled with our gift of a fatty. She drew up a few fancy pieces of paper that he signed. Declaring his renouncement of any right to rule as well as his support for Morana of House Somursa for queen. He looked kind of bitter, but some purple eye mojo got him signing pretty quick.

I guess he will be sending his heir and a few other family members to Moranas place. To ensure his cooperation. Then he will be released and his army and resources will be at her disposal.

Neat.

We left pretty quickly after that. Only so much daylight to move around in afterall. I mean, sure, with our abilities moving at night wouldn't be much of a hassle, but I really enjoy sleeping. I get cranky when I get tired.

So we headed towards the Rottaxus lands this time. Not much happened along the way, Julius found a new type of sweet grass he likes. Lena played some music with her flute, she is really getting much better. Onica told us a story about a bandit group she destroyed once. The leader ony ever talked in riddles, and always wore an ugly suit. Fen was pouting because he was told he and Onica would have to share an army. Once he gets older he can have his own army. For now he will have Onica to make sure he doesn't bite off more than he can chew.

All in all, it was a good day. Very relaxing.

We had a cow for dinner. Like as a guest. It just wandered into camp while we were eating. We gave it some food, one wanderer to another, and it left after dinner.

Fair travels Mr. Cow!

Goodnight.