Hello again! Things have changed, but by the same token nothing has really changed.

A few more cycles of meals and naps after my last entry we were still wandering through the vast winding bowels of a mysterious giant beast. Keeping ourselves amused with games and explosions, all while fending off the ravening hordes of guards that didn’t like us punching great gaping holes of charred awesomeness into their host.

Over and over again we followed the same patterns. Got to the point that, well, wouldn’t you know it, we got bored. So, we decided to try and hurry things along. I’m not sure whose idea it was at first, but someone pointed out that the beastie we were currently residing in was probably a lot longer than they were wide. So, we had been going the long way, when there was a clear and obvious shortcut available.

Go through the side, rather than the rear.

Without a moment's further consideration the tubby tabby tank collapsed and reformed into the wild hook drill. A spinning hurricane of razor sharp barbed hooks and slicing triangular fangs forming a cone in front of the spike wheeled box we were sitting in. All in glorious gleaming red tinglewood. A little, or a lot, of fire, ice, and lightning completed the ingenious contraption, and we plowed into the side of the tunnel at full speed.

We cut through the guts with ease. Shredding, freezing, incinerating, and disintegrating everything in our way. For a minute I thought we’d be out by lunchtime, but then we hit a snag.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Muscles. The soft and squishy innards were surrounded by multiple dense layers of tough fibrous muscle tissue. We were still making slow progress though, and I started to anticipate a dinner under the stars. Which is when we hit bone, and all forward progress halted completely. Nothing we did could make a dent in the colossal critters bones, and believe me, we tried.

I made flames so hot they could melt through metal within seconds, but couldn’t make a dent. Lena attempted to leach all moisture from within them in order to make them dry and brittle, to zero effect. Freezing them didn’t seem to have any effect either. Julius hit them with what he claimed was enough force to knock over a mountain, nothing to show for it besides a bunny with a headache. Fen sent thousands of lightning bolts into the bone, for some reason I expected something to change, but nothing happened.

Onica just looked at me funny when I asked if she wanted a turn.

Eventually, tired and annoyed, we started to dig around the bone. Clearly we can’t go through, right? So we must go around! And that is where we are right now. Still trying to get past this bone, tunneling through a world of bloody charred meat, which doesn’t even taste good by the way, while fending off the increasingly rabid clouds of angry guards.

A lot has changed, but everything seems pretty damn similar to me.

Onica seems to be up to something. Lots of muttering under her breath and stirring up mysterious concoctions that we apparently aren’t allowed to eat. I got yelled at when I snagged a little for a snack. Joke’s on her though, it wasn’t even very tasty. Yeah, I said it. Onica, you’re a bad cook, and your snacks suck!

I hope she doesn’t read this. Why would I write that?! I must be tired. I think I’ll head to bed.

Goodnight. If I am murdered in my sleep, Onica did it.