Name: (Words) = Thinking (usually reserved for third person perspectives).
Words~ = Sing-song voice.
Words/ = Monotone voice.
*Words* = Sound effects/actions.
Found out today that formatting is transferred to RRL… Testing out new formatting, lemme know how it works please. Also, these are short(ish) stories
---
-Woodhouse Sidestory-
Woodhouse PoV - Shortly after Chapter 8
Doctor: “You still need to pay upfront for the medicine…”
Woodhouse: “But she’ll die without it, what if I gathered the ingredients?”
Doctor: “The ingredients are cheap, it’s getting a person to mix it that costs so much.”
Woodhouse: “I used to be in the Army, I know plenty of people that could do that.”
Doctor: “It’s more of a proprietary recipe…”
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I walked out on him. What happened to Doctors helping people? It’s always about money with them… Money for their services, money for their medicine, money for their technique, money for their magics… Sigh, it’s back to the job hunt for me then… If that doesn’t work, I could always off myself and have the insurance money pay for the treatments…
[table=black]Position: Handyman/Butler/Frontman/Clerk/BodyguardRequirements: Related training. Must have Woodhouse, Winston, Chalmers, Alfred or Higgins as a name.Salary: NegotiableDuties: Act as frontman for my company. Manage mail, phones, estate, and other miscellaneous things.
Clean my future house. Will be allowed to live in said house with your family. Other perks and bonuses to appear later.
Contact for questions or more details.[/table]
That sounds too good to be true, my full name has three of those required names… Let’s send a reply…
---
Email IM Chatlog
FoxInABawx> You’re hired!
WinstonCWoodhouse> You haven’t even heard my qualifications yet…
FoxInABawx> But I did hear your name! Three of them! The rest of the other crap can be trained if needed. Once you get your [Oath Ring] we can go over specifics… You wouldn’t believe me otherwise… I just now set it all up at a Oathbinder in the city, I’ll e-mail you the confirmation so you can just show up and do it, they’ll let me know when it’s complete. Then I can tell you all the specifics.
---
Oathbinder - That Afternoon
I walk into the shop with a printout in hand, and head towards the counter. I hand the person behind it the handout, and wait as she gives it a once over. She motions towards a door, and I walk through it into a hallway where a guard walks me to an open room. A woman behind the desk points to the chair in front of her, so I sit there.
Oathbinder: “Ever do this before?”
Woodhouse: “Twice: Marriage, and when I joined the Army.”
Oathbinder: “How do you want the oath to by symbolised: ring, dogtag, or bracelet?”
Woodhouse: “Eh, let’s go with dogtag… The job is for a butler bodyguard…”
Oathbinder: “Aren’t you a little old to be a bodyguard?”
Woodhouse: “I’m only 45, I’m not that old! This is the effects of overwork and no sleep…”
As I said that, the Oathbinder pulls a dogtag and chain out of a drawer, and starts drawing a spell circle on a large stone slate located on the floor next to the desk. I’ve been through this before, so I put the chain on, and move next to the circle as she gets up.
Oathbinder: “This has to be the most all encompassing, but tame oath I’ve seen… To put it in numerical terms… I’d say it’s a 60/40 relationship. Usually, you see 90/10, 70/30, even 50/50 relationships… You don’t even die if you break it either, you only freeze up and your tongue and hands go numb. If she breaks it, the oath is broken, and you get a sum of money deposited into your accounts as a severance package. Here’s the oath.”
She hands me a sheet of paper… Oh ho, this girl sure seems interesting! ‘I hereby swear that I will do my duties to the best of my ability, and protect her and hers. In return, she will protect me and mine.’ Let’s do this, I can’t wait to hear about the stuff that “I wouldn’t believe”... I hand the paper back, and do the oath while the Oathbinder holds a tab on the dogtag. Right as I finish, the Oathbinder breaks the tab off, to be held onto as a receipt.
Oathbinder: “I know you already know this, but I’m required by law to say it… This is a receipt of the oath. It let’s us know if the oath is still in effect, if it has been broken, and if it was broken, by who…”
Ugh, this legal junk is boring! While I watch the Oathbinder’s lips move, I try to think of what the girl will possibly tell me...
---
E-Mail IM Chatlog
FoxInABawx> (Full fledged story of what happened)
WinstonCWoodhouse> Okay… I was kind of imagining you to be the heir of some mafia boss or something… Can I get an advance on my salary?
FoxInABawx> What for?
WinstonCWoodhouse> My wife has cancer, and the treatments are expensive…
FoxInABawx> Expensive how? Ingredients or Method?
WinstonCWoodhouse> Method… Some proprietary nonsense…
FoxInABawx> Too bad you don’t have ki training… Ugh, my monies!
WinstonCWoodhouse> Ki training? What’s that for? I received that in the Army.
FoxInABawx> YES! MONIES IS SAVED! Do you have ki talismans there?
WinstonCWoodhouse> ??? What is that?
FoxInABawx> Ugh… Probably something that I should copyright after this… Okay, check your email for the instructions and shopping list. This should only cost you like five credits. Ten credits if you buy plastic bottles, and a larger bottle of ink, and scribing tools… Tell me, how are the concealed weapons and firearms laws there? How about firearms in general?
WinstonCWoodhouse> If it’s a mundane firearms, and mana guns require permits… Mana guns are useless unless you pay for higher quality crystals. Otherwise, any schmuck with a mana shield could block it… Mundane firearm bullets are expensive.
FoxInABawx> Okay, adding diagrams for some things to defend yourself with… I don’t know if things could get hairy, but you will be prepared. And they are UNTRACEABLE and UNDETECTABLE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Oh, how nice it is to do the evil laugh again… Well, go buy the stuff and start practicing, I’ll deposit five thousand credits for the start of this project. Things will be a little tight right at the beginning, but soon we’ll be rolling in the credits! I need to develop some way to talk face to face with you…
Between the stuff for my projects, and what my wife had, I had everything needed. I open up the closet and get my old Army Medic bag, and fetch a needle. Seriously, who cuts themselves for blood these days? I make the ink, and paint the needed patterns onto tablets cut from spare floorboards. I also label the backs of the board in marker, because I can’t read what those symbols mean. I should probably ask her about that later… I paint one of the knife patterns she has onto a ruler and after it dries, I use it to cut a wrench in half because I didn’t believe it would work. Boy was I wrong! It cut through the wrench, through my left middle finger, and through the floorboards into the basement because I dropped the damn thing… Well, I did get to test the healing tablet afterwards which was nice. My finger reattached, I start work on the gun, which is only a two inch by eight inch board with a hole in the middle for the “trigger”. After some work in the garage, it had a working trigger assembly, and I painted it with the patterns… After it dried, I assemble it and take it into the basement to test fire it…
---
Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.
Hospital - Next Afternoon
I’m filling out the discharge papers for my wife, while trying really hard to ignore the doctor. Tyche’s advice was to apply force as necessary, because you can’t prove what you can’t understand. That, and nobody wants to help a doctor in a hospital that has been shafting people financially for decades now… I’m trying not to use force, but the doctor is proving difficult.
Doctor: “You can’t just discharge her like that! She’ll die! Nobody else on the planet can make the treatment for her!”
Woodhouse: “...”
Doctor: “You’re killing her!”
Woodhouse: *scribbling*
Doctor: “Tell me why you’re doing this!”
Woodhouse: “Because fuck you, that’s why?”
Oops! I accidentally used plan B… Let’s hand in the discharge papers, and bring my wife home.
---
Home - Evening
After helping my wife onto the couch, I place the cleansing tablet on her chest and activate it. Afterwards, as an afterthought, I replace it with the healing one and activate that one too. Her color improves and she starts to wake up.
Woodhouse: “Candy, can you hear me?”
Candy: “Yes… Where am I? I’m feeling better, what happened?”
Woodhouse: “I can’t tell you… But I work for the person that made it happen. It’s kind of complicated...”
Candy: “Did you do something illegal? You know I wouldn’t want you to do that for me!”
Woodhouse: “Completely above board. I did use an unusual method though. I will be doing something illegal later tonight though…”
Candy: “No!”
Woodhouse: “I have to, the cancer ward is full of people who are dying, I can do something about it like I did for you.”
Candy: “... Just don’t hurt anybody… Too bad…”
Woodhouse: “I’ll try, maybe?”
As I’m about to head out, my phone beeps telling me that I have a new email. I check it to find it’s from Tyche. “I read your Army file, Espionage and Infiltration? Nice. If you are going to do what I think you’re going to do, wait until after you make these toys… They should help a lot. Also, I’m formally offering your waifu a job too. Secrets and all that are bad for marriages after all… Anyways, have fun~!”
I think this girl and I will get along just fine. She saved Candy, I’ll follow her to the ends of the planet for that.
“PS: You should check out a certain series on WebVidz… LANAAAAAAAA!”
-The Guide Sidestory-
The Guide PoV - Personal Space
I slowly fade back into consciousness, my last action was activating the grand magic that ended the war. I survived? I inspect myself closely and notice that I in fact didn’t survive. My body is currently a large mana crystalization of my powers. Shouldn’t there be someone else here for me to guide? Let’s go back to sleep.
---
I wake up to my powers being used badly, and without my consent. Just what is happening? I never lose control like this… I concentrate and move my consciousness to the mana crystal that is my body, and find… Poorly drawn magic circles, cables and lots of what appears to be boxes of technological design. Things seemed to have both advanced and regressed since I’ve died… Listening into the conversation going on, I find that they are trying to upload something called AIs into my body. What are those? Time to use something I haven’t used in milleniums: Psychometry. That’s a lot of stuff to learn… While processing this information, I’ll practice explaining things for when I eventually get my successor. Psychometry allows you to learn everything about what you are touching: past present, its uses, etc. Oh! AIs are spirits, but technology based… Let’s help them a little bit, they have piqued my interest with this “game” business… A dozen “people” appears in front of me. I should probably leave before they do something awkward, like call me Father…
---
The hunt for my successor has been going badly… Most of the people outside aren’t suited for it, but I do hear a good snippet of information: Alpha Testers are coming. That means new potentials!
Why are none of these alphas any good? I’ve since delegated the job of inspecting them to Fairies. One of the races that died out with my death. They need bodies of water infused with divine power in order to reproduce, and with me dead, that couldn’t happen. With what power I can use, I brought them back into this “game”. A fairy appears next to me and alerts me to there being not one, but two potentials in the avatar creation room. I teleport to it and use psychometry on the two orbs that represent the potentials. Both the hereditary prince of Technos, and the hereditary Princess of Magicas? Those names are stupid by the way. It sounds like a bureaucracy got in the way of the name deciding process..
The boy had a somewhat decent past, if somewhat abandoned. He was an unwanted son of a mistress, and left to his own devices with his mother. Even if his father didn’t want him, he ensured that he didn’t want for anything… That is until the Father got married, and wanted to clear up any potential misunderstandings for the inheritance that may arise. Luckily, he survived… But his mind! It moves so fast! So many ideas floating around. Most of them wrong, but imagine if he had actual knowledge to reinforce them! I’m impressed with him!
The girl on the other hand… Her past was horrifying… Product of a rape, with plans to use her as breeding stock to improve the bloodline… If I was still alive, I would do something about that. Due to her upbringing, her mind is undeveloped, but she absorbs all knowledge like a sponge!
Dozens of plans start running through my mind. I need these two! I could leave my children with them! Then I can die and fade into obscurity as it should be… Let’s nudge the avatar creation process and get them together, then my plans can start! Oh! I can use that! Throw in some hogwash about the Dryad’s betrothal ceremony, throw in a little spiritual binding magic… And done! Now, to convert them into Chimeras to make them one entity to simplify them becoming my successor!
No! The communication relays were destroyed, separating their mind from body… Well, that simplifies things, let’s just keep their mind in my crystal body. I give the fairy with them instructions with them that the girl follows a little too closely… SUCCESS! Now they are mine!
While they are “waiting to be born” I’m out and about in the “world” looking for a person to take over to help raise them… Why is it that when you don’t want it, there are recently dead males everywhere you look? All I can find are recently dead females… I don’t mind really, but when you have been a male for as long as I have, you get used to things… Anyway, I find a dead female in the village of Dolon that died to wolves in the woods behind her house. After I inhabit her body, and bring it back to health, I walk into the cabin through the unlocked back door and become instantly surprised when I find the kids there in the front room sleeping! My psychometry showed that the front door was locked, and I would have saw them if they went in the back door…
---
My successors have been spreading knowledge and transforming the AIs of this “world” into people with real souls… I don’t know how they are doing it, because I’ve only been giving them basic knowledge on how to develop. It’s weird, usually you have to be broadcasting divine power… Anyway, the people outside have some scheme to limit them by making them start over again… It’s a chance for their first real trial. While they are being “born” again, let’s change their genders, to see how they react. You can’t be a God without having a strong mind…
---
Author’s Notes: Woodhouse is like Tyche/Mammon, but became bitter over the years from Army life, and Candy’s cancer. The Guide… Yeah, his part was all broken up because it was mostly his reaction on events, or what he himself set up… And if you haven’t noticed by now… I suck with names… I did a roll for cliche, and Tyche and Midas ended up being the crown prince/princess of their respective moons… MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The Guide is the Ero Demon! I feel like Oprah! GENDERBENDS FOR EVERYBODY!
Next chapter: Kids are born! I’m thinking Andrew and Andrea for the names. They shall be known as the Andys! Andies? I’m still undecided about how trolly Tyche and Midas will get with the players.