Name: (Words) = Thinking (usually reserved for third person perspectives).
Words~ = Sing-song voice.
Words/ = Monotone voice.
*Words* = Sound effects/actions.
Name> = Phone/email/IM
Ugh, I was struck by inspiration, but in the wrong direction of the story…
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Hannah’s Room - Two Weeks Later
Jake? PoV
I burst into Hannah’s room and find her lying on her bed doing something strange under the covers. I walk to the edge of the bed and flip the covers to uncover what she is doing. Her hand is inside her pajama bottoms… Oh-hohohohohoho~! Not such the straight laced person are you? I grab her wrist and bring her hand out from its hiding spot to rest under my nose. I inhale deeply, sampling the delectable scent. I stick out my tongue and drag her hand across it. Hannah seems to wake up and realises what is going on. She starts blushing and thrashing around. I climb on top of her and lock lips with her before she reverts to her usual song and dance. She responds in kind by sticking her tongue in my mouth, which I reciprocate with mine. Soon, it becomes a race to see who can strip the other the fastest.
Hannah: “Take me ri-”
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Livingroom - Spatial Cabin
Hannah PoV
Hannah: “Nooooooooooo!”
After eyeball poking Jake, I grab the large screen and try to break it in half. Hnnnnnnnnnnnng! Hnnnnnnnnnnnng! What the hell! What is this thing made of? I look accusingly at our tormentors. Midas has a proud look on his face while Tyche is tapping away at her tablet like she is documenting an experiment or something…
Hannah: “WHAT THE HELL?”
Tyche: “Looks like the 8:1:2 ratio of glass, mithril and mana crystal is perfect. It seems to be impervious to Tsundere Strength…”
Midas: “When do I get my Oscar?”
Artemis: “Do they have one for best camerawork?”
Jake: (from ground) “This isn’t Earth, so you’re stuck with Golden Globes…”
Midas: “Ewwww! Nevermind…”
Artemis: “Dreamcrusher!”
Hannah: “Forget that! How did you do it, because that sure as hell didn’t happen! That’s exactly how it happens in my…. HEY!”
That’s exactly how it happens in my dreams! How do they know about that? I look back to Tyche, and find myself staring at myself! Huh? That is scary, it looks just like me, but wearing Tyche’s clothes which are a little baggy in the chest area… Why do I feel insulted? I turn around and find a Jake wearing Midas’ clothes standing there. He is staring proudly at the screen in my hands and I reflexively poke at his eyes which feels like I jammed them into a wall.
Hannah: “OW! SHIT! WHY!”
Tyche: “That’s what happens when you attack someone who is thirty eight levels above you… And don’t attack my hubby, I’ve killed people for less!”
Selene: “Like that innkeeper that wouldn’t refund your money?”
Tyche: “Hey! I didn’t kill her… I only drove her crazy…”
Hannah: “Don’t change the subject! How did you see my… How did you two change into us?”
Tyche/Midas: “Shapeshifters?”
Hannah: “Ugh…”
Tyche: “I found my new favorite form for watching the tablet while lying down! No tits to get in the way!”
The taboo broken, I fall into a berserk rage and pounce at my target. Right as I was about to land, I was caught by the scruff of my neck, leaving the only way for me to vent my frustration by thrashing around. A hand reaches down and starts fondling my fluffy rabbit tail. Nooooooo~! What if Jake sees? I look down and see that he is still on the ground holding his eyes. As if reading my mind, Tyche touches his face with a tail and heals him. Nooooooo~! He will see my shame! Drool starts to leak from my mouth as Tyche leans down to my ear.
Tyche: (whispering) “I used this dream talisman to see your dream, we recreated it. Jake’s dreams are really boring though… He only dreams of cuddling with you. Seriously?.” (normal voice) “You two should stop screwing around and get back to grinding your stats…”
Jake: “But it’s so repetitive!”
Hannah: “Yeah, you guys have to know of a faster way…”
Midas: “Well… There is one way…”
Hannah: “Really?!”
Jake: “Please teach us!”
Tyche: *leaning closer* “It’s called…”
Jake/Hannah: “Yeah?”
Midas: “Coital”
Tyche: “Grinding!”
Hannah: “Huh?”
Jake: “What does ‘coital’ mean?”
Tyche: “It’s when a boy rabbitkin and girl rabbitkin who like each other very much and want to improve their stats fuck like the rabbitkin they are to improve them.”
Jake: “D-does it really work like that?”
Midas: “Yep! Almost all of our stat growth came from that alone! Makes doing things the old fashioned way useless. But it’s way more fun this way!”
Ah! She stopped fondling my tail! Why is everyone looking at me? Back to the tail please? Why am I being handed over to Jake?
Tyche: “If you two don’t stay up at least half the night, you are doing something wrong!”
Hannah: “What?’
Tyche: “And for Goddesses’ sake, put it in the right hole this time!”
What?! I’m being carried to my room while thrown over Jake’s shoulder like a sack! At least be a little romantic! Princess carry me dammit!
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Personal Space
The Guide PoV
Why aren’t they following my plans? All of the setbacks I set in their path, they just shrug off like it’s nothing! I spend all that time trying to push them together and nothing happens! I switch their genders and they don’t care at all! But then they start fooling around in their tree house where they think I don’t know what’s happening in… What is wrong with them, did I choose wrong? The AI that controls this body when I’m not in control is really buggy and doesn’t know how to act… Which leads to it doing all kinds of things I wouldn’t do, leading to Tyche or Midas causing bodily harm to it. After extensive research, I found out that the cause is that the AI can’t properly map my psyche. You can’t measure a God’s mind afterall. Dead or alive, Gods are immeasurable…
Have they used their divine power yet? NO! All they do is delegate to the other Gods or Goddesses. And if there isn’t one that can cover the issue, they just create another one by upgrading one of the souls of the dead Alpha Testers into Godhood…
The other Gods and Goddesses are interesting though. They aren’t showing any of the symptoms of conflicting prayers. I’ll have to look into this further. That Tyrone God seems interesting… Seriously, a God who willingly does that? At least his punishments are fitting...
While I’m at it, I’ll divide half of my current power between the two. That should speed things up, causing other people to believe they are Gods. Maybe there will be witnesses who will label them as Gods and start them on their path to Godhood… They seem to have a fear of the demons, I should work with that...
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Sunnydale - Outside the Capital - Next Day
Hannah PoV
Ow, owww, OW! Worst, pain, ever! But we gained at least five points in every stat! Compared to the 15 over two weeks from before, this way is faster… They might know what they are talking about… Without thinking I begin to channel healing energy in my palm. As I was lowering my hand, Tyche grabs my wrist, saving me.
Tyche: “Nooo! Don’t do that, you had enough trouble with it last night, don’t restore it!”
Jake: “Does it really work that way?”
Tyche: “Yep! Broke it once by accident, healed it to stop the pain, and then popped it on purpose not even a minute later…”
Sarah: “It’s the best feeling ever!” *shudders* “I have her heal it every time!”
Hannah: “Thanks for stopping me…”
That Maid seriously scares me…
Midas: “Found them!”
Jake: “Huh?”
Tyche: “The Bandits, remember? Powerleveling? You two should get ready.”
Tyche’s hair turns silver as her scepter turns into a gigantic scythe. Wow, never seen that one before… Midas shifts into an iaido pose while Sarah flexes her wrists and a pistol slides out of each sleeve. The hell? They have guns here? That isn’t fair at all! I concentrate while channeling mana into my amulet. A wood grain appears on my robe as it hardens and takes on the color and scent of Mahogany. Jake has brown white and red chainmail seemingly sprout out of his clothes as he unsheathes his gladius and shrugs the shield off of his back. The wind changes its direction, and I pick up the awesome scent of hickory treated bacon… He really picked Bacon as his attribute… If anyone asks, I don’t know him…
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
How did they detect the bandits anyway? Their perception must be through the roof to detect that, the overpowered idiots… As if to contradict me, the wind changes direction again, and blows a foul odor into my nose, causing me to gag. Suddenly, I am lifted off the ground and hugged tightly. The foul odor is replaced by hickory bacon… Ahhh~ that is much better! Wait!
Jake: *inhales deeply* “Ahhh~ Mahogany is the best~!”
Hannah: “...”
Tyche: “Wow, that didn’t go as expected…”
As we advanced forward, a man wearing poorly maintained armor with a scraggly beard steps in front of us, blocking our way.
Unfortunate Bandit: “Leave the valuables and the wo-”
Two dime sized holes suddenly replace his eyes as blood flies from the back of his head… Huh? Mechanically, I look to my left to see a Sarah mashing the triggers of her pistols with a look of ecstasy on her face. SCARY!
Congratulations, you have gained 7 levels!Stat Growth: +7 Agility, +3.5 Endurance, +3.5 Intellect, +3.5 Wisdom, and +3.5 Perception!
Holy crap! He must have been high leveled… This was a big mistake!
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Tyche PoV
Hey guys, welcome back! Haaa~ haven’t done that schtick in a while. I really miss it. A horde of bandits start swarming up the hill towards us. I flex my fingers before lifting the scythe into the air, where Midas places a hand on my wrist to stop me.
Midas: “Can you do it? Pleaaaaaaaaaaase?”
Tyche: “???”
Midas: “Ki in one hand, Mana in the other?”
Tyche: “Still not catching the reference…”
Midas: “Your harisen?”
Tyche: “Oi! I’m not some overpowered princess from Mars! I can’t cancel magic or anything…”
Sigh~ I change to [Tsundere Mode], and stick the harisen under one arm. Ki in one hand, Mana in the other. Less ki… More mana… That looks like about 50/50? Let’s press them together!
Tyche: “Kan**ho! ??? The hell?”
???: “Your [Creative Borrowing] has stretched into theft! You must pay a royalty of 15 silver to Ken Akamatsu!”
Tyche: “Who the hell are you?”
Fairy: “I’m the copyright fairy! I enforce the-”
I grab the unsuspecting Fairy by the head with two fingers, bringing her in front of my face.
Tyche: “Midas, a thousand gold please…”
Midas: “Kay.”
Tyche: “Here’s a thousand gold. Now go away! We have like a thousand bandits to slau… subjugate.”
I open up the sack of gold with one hand, and as I’m about to stuff the annoying Fairy in it to drop the damned thing Goddesses knows where, I was interrupted by Selene.
Selene: “Don’t take it out on her, she’s only doing her job!”
Tyche: “Fiiiiine! You’re lucky!”
I drop the Fairy and sack, and turn back to the bandits. This is a bad angle, if only I was higher… With only a conscious thought, the newfound energy circulates and starts lifting me higher. Ah, this power is useful! Let’s see how it works offensively? I grab the harisen and hold it like a sword, and swing it at the bandits, willing the energy to fire. As the first throng of bandits reaches the top, a crescent of white energy passes through them, continuing to fly into forever. … That’s weird, why aren’t the bandits dying, screaming or anything.
Tyche: “The hell? Shouldn’t they be exploding or something? Sliced in half? Fire?”
Hannah: “Forget about that, I hope that beam doesn’t go on forever… If it turns out to be dangerous, I hope it doesn’t hit any-”
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
The top of a mountain in the distance slides off and hits the ground, causing an earthquake. The earthquake shakes the bandits hit earlier. Some fall into pieces, while others catch on fire. The lucky ones just dissolve into dust… Holy shit, this power is amazing! I shall name it Divine Power! I lift the harisen again for another swing, where I am greeted with the remaining bandits falling onto their faces.
Smart Bandits: “WE SURRENDER!”
That was anticlimactic… Let’s check all the windows that were appearing during that “fight”...
You have discovered the secrets of Divinity!You have unlocked Divine Power! Affinity with this can only be increased with prayers or gifted from other Gods.An unnamed God has granted you a share of his Divine Power!
+30% Affinity!You have cleared the Kingdom of Sunnydale of all bandits!Congratulations! You are now level 68!For reaching level 50, you have 50 additional manual growth point gains!
Ummm… Fairies, give them the stats, I have to excessively cast [Denial] for an hour or so…
StatusLevel:68Race:ChimeraClass:CosplayerHP:2810Mana/Psy:5732Ki:10998Stamina8034Tyche Luck:MAXMidas Luck:MINTycheTitles:Twin-SoulChuunibyouInheritor of MjolnirFemaleIt's a trap!Princess of Chimeras???MidasTitles:Twin-SoulChuunibyouChampion of DumbassMaleIt's a trap!Prince of Chimeras???PhysicalAgility:118Strength:84DefensiveConstitution:84Endurance:118MentalIntellect:84Wisdom:84OtherDexterity:84Perception:84Spirit:160AffinitiesBacon:100%Muffin:100%Spatial:100%Nature:78%Illusion:55%Elemental:60%Divine:35%
StatusName:SarahRace:HumanClass:MarksmanLevel:68Titles:Self-Proclaimed MaidMasochistShame GluttonFemalePriestess of FortunePriestess of DisasterHP:3410Mana:3420Ki:5428Stamina:3410PhysicalAgility:118Strength:50DefensiveConstitution:50Endurance:50MentalIntellect:50Wisdom:50OtherDexterity:118Perception:118Spirit:75Luck:17Affinities:Elemental:19%------
StatusName:HannahRace:BunnykinClass:DruidLevel:49Titles:The BerserkMahogany PlankAppostle of DisasterFemaleHP:1186Mana:2445.5Ki:3847Stamina:2680.5PhysicalAgility:74Strength:21DefensiveConstitution:24Endurance:54.5MentalIntellect:49.5Wisdom:45.5OtherDexterity:26Perception:45.5Spirit:77Luck:5Affinities:Nature:25%------
StatusName:JakeRace:BunnykinClass:PaladinLevel:49Titles:The InnocentThe DenseAppostle of FortuneMaleHP:3587Mana:2592.5Ki:2373Stamina:1235PhysicalAgility:21Strength:74DefensiveConstitution:73Endurance:25MentalIntellect:52.5Wisdom:45.5OtherDexterity:24Perception:a21Spirit:48Luck:30Affinities:Bacon:30%------
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Author’s Notes: Meh, so I was totally struck by inspiration, but it was the ending. And what I like to call book 2. Book 2 will be real gameplay, two new characters, different world, nerfs. You know, the whole shebang. This current story is turning into more of a prologue.
Next Chapter: Aftermath + Demon realm developments.