Name: (Words) = Thinking (usually reserved for third person perspectives).
Words~ = Sing-song voice.
Words/ = Monotone voice.
*Words* = Sound effects/actions.
Name> = Phone/email/IM
Our reign as #6 has ended once some of the bigger Authors posted their chapters… I knew it had to be a gimmick or something for me to get that high...
Here's a semi quick full drawing of Tyche... Please excuse the cruddyness of it, I have an el cheapo tablet and stylus... Can't shade for shit either, so I didn't bother...
Spoiler :
http%3a%2f%2fi.imgur.com%2fO85I6Bl.png [http://i.imgur.com/O85I6Bl.png]
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The next day
The hell happened? Why does my head hurt? I slowly look around to avoid making my head hurt. Sarah is tied to a coat rack with donkey tails tacked onto her ass, with a satisfied expression on her face… Midas is? I lift the blanket to find him hugging onto my tails. MY HUGGEES! I take the tails away from him… In the corner is a crib with a hug pile of babies and fairies, Selene struggling to get out with a hopeful expression on her face once she notices me. I get up and slowly stumble over to help her out. On my way over, I spot a Hannah walking gingerly with a look on her face that clearly blames me… What did I do? I need to find the cleansing talismans to get rid of this hangover...
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Directly after last chapter
Hannah PoV
Tyche: “Pfffft! HAHAHA! That’s my Maid! The one that ran off just now was the Princess trying not to piss herself in laughter!”
Hannah: “Even better, at least the princess isn’t a pervert.”
Tyche: “Nope, she’s a huge pervert. Now that I think about it, she just upgraded to MILF status too.”
Hannah: “...”
Jake: “I can look now right?”
Tyche: “Yes?”
Hannah: “NO!”
Tyche sits down on top of the girl kneeling on all fours located on the ground. Give me back my image of a princess! We have to leave now, they will infect Jake with impure thoughts! Tyche reaches down to her fanny pack and takes out something to put into one of her ringlets. Is that a fairy? Fairies aren’t hair accessories!
Tyche: “Ugh, I feel lopsided when there’s only one… I had something to ask you…”
Hannah: “NO!”
Tyche: “I didn’t even ask yet…”
Hannah: “You probably want to turn me into something like the maid there, and corrupt Jake!”
Jake: “Huh?”
Tyche: “Huh? Oh! You think I did that to her? I’m going to quote the Bacon Apostle and say she ‘was born this way.’”
Hannah: “What?”
Jake: “She’s quoting Lady Gaga. I’m not sure about the Bacon Apostle bit though… Oh, the meat dress?”
Tyche: “Exactly! Wait, wasn’t your template supposed to be dumb?”
Jake: “???”
Tyche: “Oh, I get it!. Dumb about Hannah…”
Hannah: “Sh-shut up! Don’t tell him that!”
Nooooooooo! He will find out! We need to get out of here! I start looking around for an exit plan.
Tyche: “He’ll just forget about it in three… two… one… Forgotten! Anyway, would you guys join our party/group? We kind of need a healer/tank… We have been bullshitting things lately, and that isn’t fun at all… Where’s the struggle?”
Hannah: “Why us? Couldn’t you find someone else?”
Tyche: “One: your classes. Two: The immersive reality bit, means you don’t have to log out, and your schedule is pretty much indefinitely open. Three: you two are pretty agreeable when you aren’t going on one of your adorable binges, but everyone has a vice. Mine is blueberries by the way. Four: It’s nice to have people in the group you aren’t in a relationship with…”
How does she know about the immersive reality? This is scary! We have to get out of here now!
Hannah: “How do yo-”
Jake: “While you were having cuddlefest, I may have mentioned it…”
Tyche: “Ooh! You have to join now! Cherokee blood detected! Here’s your tribal card, mesh that with your license whenever you get a chance.”
As I’m about to refute that, a male catkin bursts into the room waving a card.
Midas: “I heard it! You have to join the Navajo Coalition! We have bacon!”
Tyche: “Nope! Score one for the Cherokee Republic!”
Midas: “DAMN IT!”
Hannah: “Why are you two saying you are Navajo and Cherokee? Is there a point be-”
Tyche: “We interrupt people and talk like we know what they are going to ask or say. That, and it pisses off the Demons.”
Hannah: “Isn’t that rac-”
Tyche: “Racist? Kind of? But the demons are mad about a war they started and lost. They act like they were persecuted, and try to fight for concessions because of that. The rest of the races just give them a token resistance to get them to shut up…”
Midas: “They’re the North Korea of this game!”
Hannah: “They can’t be that bad, can th-”
Tyche: “Imagine a religious fanatic tumblrina who perceives racism everywhere...”
Jake: *shudders* “I hate them already…”
Tyche: “Don’t hate them, pity them… And maybe laugh behind their back where they can’t hear you. And accept the damn card!”
Jake: “Sorry, can’t see here…”
Selene: “They aren’t all bad! It’s only the ones in the Demon Kingdom you should do that to! The mainland Demons are cool, they left rather than participate in the war…”
Tyche: “Ugh, we went off topic… What were we talking about? It was important...”
Hannah: “How Jake and I were just leaving?”
Tyche: “Come on don’t leave, it’s not like we’ll kidnap you and butcher you after having our way with you…”
WHAT! I saw how that movie ended, we have to leave NOW! This isn’t a wholesome place at all! I want a normal life full of adventure, eventually marrying Jake after he proposes and having 2 kids in a house with a white picket fence! I turn around to leave and find Tyche in front of me. She cups my face with one hand, and fondles my rabbit ears with the other.
Tyche: “Foxes eat rabbits you know~.”
Hannah: “KYAA!”
Jake: “I can see again! *eyepoke* OW!”
Oops! I reflexively poked Jake in the eyes there… Still, he shouldn’t be trying to sneak a peek at the pervert maid! Look at me only idiot!
Jake: “Stop picking on her!”
Selene: “Stop playing around, and get to the point...”
Sarah: “Can I get dressed now? The moment is gone…”
Tyche: “Yeah, go ahead… Serious time now: join our party! We need a tank and healer, we can pay in gold and Credits!”
Jake: (on the ground) “How much?”
Tyche: “Hold on lemme check to see how much the Woodhouses make…”
Tyche pulls out a… Is that a tablet? Fiddles with it, and taps away at the screen before looking back at us.
Tyche: “The Woodhouses make 70k a year, live in a penthouse, and drive a company car… You two are in a hospital somewhere in immersive reality, so 20k in credits, and a practically free ride in game? How were you guys injured? I could theoretically get you two healed too, but it depends on the damage…”
Hannah: “...”
Tyche: “Is that not enough? I can go as high as 25k. Anyway, tell me how you ended up in the hospital!”
Jake: “Almost 13 years ago some kid was hit by a truck, knocked off the railing and hit by another truck, we were walking to school when the accident caused the overpass to collapse on top of us.”
Tyche: “13 years and he still doesn’t know? What a dense bastard…”
Midas: “Time passes by quickly doesn’t it?”
Tyche: “What prefecture?”
Jake: “24?”
Tyche: “Holy shit! I was that kid…”
Hannah: “You can’t be! It was a boy!”
Tyche: “It’s time to feed the kids, it’s story time!”
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Nursery - 2 hours later
Tyche PoV
All of us are sitting in the nursery, feeding the kids in one way or another as Midas and Selene tell the story. I’m feeding Charlie while Sarah feeds Jack next to me, with Charlotte passed out lying across our laps. Childcare must be exhausting, no? Hold on a second.
Tyche: “Traitors!”
Hannah: “Will you shut up about that? It’s not our fault that we are Bunnykin like them!”
Tyche: “I literally save them from starving to death, feed them, grant them humanoid form, give them clothes to wear, and lots of love and what do they do? They leave me for some level 1 bunnykin couple…”
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
Hannah: “Stop overreacting! They have only been here for a day! I didn’t plan this… Couple?... OW!”
[table=yellow]:angel:[/table]
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA DEFEND ME MY FAIRY GODCHILDREN! Anyway~ Hannah and Jack are feeding a rabbitkin and fairy baby each. When they join us, this shall be their chore, it will let them get used to using their mana. Ugh, hurry up with the story! This gets boring the umpteenth time! Blah blah blah, yada yada yada. Awwww, you skipped the sex scenes! Boo! Don’t glare at me fairy! Ah, they finished!
Tyche: “Now that that is over, join us!”
Jake: “I’m in, what could go wrong?”
Hannah: “Everything?”
Jake: “Come on, don’t be like that, they are practically paying us to play the game…”
Tyche: “Yeah! Don’t be that guy Hannah!”
Hannah: “Fine…”
Tyche: “Group invite Hannah and Jake!”
I get a confirmation window stating that they have joined the group! Tank and Healer: get! Let’s see… Midas and I take up one party slot because of [Twin-Soul], Sarah takes up another, and Jack and Hannah take up two… One left!
Tyche: “Fairies! Giive everyone the stats!”
StatusName:JakeRace:BunnykinClass:PaladinLevel:1Titles:MaleHP:12Mana:21.5------Stamina:11.5PhysicalAgility:1Strength:2DefensiveConstitution:2Endurance:1MentalIntellect:1.5Wisdom:1.5OtherDexterity:1Perception:1Spirit:2Luck:30Affinities:------------
StatusName:SarahRace:BunnykinClass:DruidLevel:1Titles:FemaleHP:11Mana:21.5------Stamina:11.5PhysicalAgility:2Strength:1DefensiveConstitution:1Endurance:1.5MentalIntellect:1.5Wisdom:1.5OtherDexterity:1Perception:1.5Spirit:2Luck:5Affinities:------------
They really are level 1… And I can’t really ask what they did all day, because they were dragging me around, and then ended up here… Lots of training tomorrow!
Hannah: “You didn’t tell us you three were level 40!”
Tyche: “And that’s important because?”
Hannah: “OF COURSE IT’S IMPORTANT!”
Jake: “Calm down Hannah…”
Hannah: “It will take forever to catch up with you three…”
Tyche: “You are forgetting something! For two weeks after release, there is 100% bonus XP for levels and stats! And then have you ever heard the term ‘Wallet Warrior’?”
Jake: “See? She has it all planned out!”
Hannah: “Then why does it sound like she just pulled that plan out of her ass?”
As I was playing in the UI to upgrade their accounts to the collector’s edition, which gives a permanent xp bonus, starter gear, and other cool stuff she makes that comment. What? It’s true right? That’s my method… Now that everything is complete, let’s do “that”!
Tyche: “We have to stop by the guild tomorrow to pick up your licenses and Collector’s Edition crap. Now that that is out of the way, let’s party!”
I break out a keg of Dwarven Ale, Human Moonshine, Elven wine, and a few other choice in-game liquors. I also break out mugs, food, and other party necessities. Last, I break out the game system I have been working on!
Jake: “Is that a game system?”
Tyche: “Who’s asking? I didn’t break any piracy laws or anything…”
Midas: “ARRRRRRRR!”
Jake: “Ooh! Roar of Obligation! Dibs on the sniper rifle!”
Tyche: “tch! Fine, I call-”
Midas: “Dibs on the shotgun!”
Tyche: “Damnit…”
Sarah: “I’ll take the assault rifle.”
Hannah: “Pistol…”
Tyche: “Fuck you guys, I’ll hold the flashlight and the whistle…”
Artemis: “I want the whistle!”
Tyche: “Selene, can you be command? You’re super good at it!”
Selene: “You have to call me Overlord or no deal!”
Everyone: “Fine!”
We continue to drink and play for three hours, winning the whole time. I had to eventually swap my flashlight for Artemis’ whistle due to her being annoying with it… Charlotte woke up and confiscated the game system, so we moved to party games.
Pin the tail on the Maid was a raging success! It was fun for everyone, even Sarah who came three times from the game, and one from just mentioning the game! Well, except for Jake… Every time it was his turn, he was punched in the back of the head by an angry Hannah. Beer pong was as it always is: fun, but boring to describe. Eventually, we moved to the best topic of the night: Truth or Dare.
Hannah: “Sharah: Truth or Dare?”
Sarah: (still tied to the coat rack) “Truth!”
Hannah: “How didz shou get shem sho big?”
Sarah: “What so big?”
Tyche: “She means your tits, she wants pointers on ‘growing’...”
Hannah: “Sh-shuh up! Don’t shay I’m flat!”
Midas: “Nobody said anything about that, stop being such a tsundere about it…”
Sarah: “Oh! Well, we always had steak and kidney pies when I was growing up…”
Urk! Don’t think too deeply on that… Don’t want to waste the expensive booze… Sarah looks in my direction. I hope this is going to be good…
Sarah: “Tyche: Truth or Dare?”
Tyche: “YOLO… Wait, game world… Dammit, that phrase is ruined for us…. Fuck it, DARE ME UP BEOTCH!”
Sarah: “I dare you to spank me!”
Tyche: “That’s it?”
I get up, switch to [Tsundere Mode] and begin wailing on her ass with the harisen. Easy-peasy! Hmmm.... I should pick on Hannah, but how? Let’s set them up as a couple, because the sheer awkwardness of their relationship makes my teeth itch… Wordplay should do it.
Tyche: “Hannah: Truth or Double-Dare!”
Hannah: “DOUBLE...DARE MES! Wait… What?”
Tyche: “Too late!” (whispering in her ear) “I want you to confess, and kiss Jake.”
Hannah: “Thatshit? EASHY!”
She then proceeds to get up, and drunkenly make out with Jake’s nose… Eww, don’t use the wiggling dragon tongue technique! Hopefully he keeps the caves clear of bats…
Hannah: “I ...LOVE… YOU!” *runs out of the room*
Sarah: “I can’t see, facing the wrong way. What happened?”
Midas: “Ah, she ran.”
Tyche: “Totally ran.”
Jake is frozen on the spot. He has a look on his face that is a mixture of confusion and his dreams coming true. After a few minutes of awkwardly staring at him, he seems to wake up.
Jake: “What do I do?”
Charlotte: “Don’t you love her?”
Jake: “Yes, but what if I screw it up?”
Tyche: *barfs* “Sorry, dunno if it’s the situation, or if I drank too much… Just go in there, kiss her, tell her you love her, and then stick it in her pooter if she lets you!”
Jake: “Y-yes!”
Jake runs out of the room to wherever Hannah is hiding… That was totally smooth as fuck! As I was patting myself on the back, I was interrupted by Charlotte.
Charlotte: “Doesn’t pooter mean ass?”
Tyche: “Oh… I forgot… Come on now! He’s too dense to know what that means!”
Midas: “You forget that he’s only dense when it comes to her… The fate of her assginity is on your hands…”
Tyche: “Shit… Oops?”
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Author’s Notes: When I described the Demons, I used like two paragraphs. And then my friend came in and told me that I described Tumblrinas… Thirty seconds after reading it and running away screaming, I swiped the paragraph out for what it is now…
I also noticed that the sketchbook program I use has a smooth pen tool, so I decided to draw Intellect Form Tyche. It’s my avatar now. Too bad I suck at shading, because that’s how it’s staying.
Next Chapter: Training montage + Real world check in. Hannah duckwalking.