Name: (Words) = Thinking (usually reserved for third person perspectives).
Words~ = Sing-song voice.
Words/ = Monotone voice.
*Words* = Sound effects/actions.
---
Inn - Rented Room - Next Afternoon
Meh, you guys again… Why the attitude? People won’t leave us alone… We had a nice pink atmosphere going, and then people started bothering us with “be quiet”, “happy people should die” and “become my disciple”... We’ve been married-ish for about 31 months, let us have our late honeymoon in peace damnit! I need to calm down! *phew* Calm, cool, collected, calm, cool collected... ... My hair changed…
Selene: *smacks lips* “You get a passive!” *rolls over* *snores*
Tyche: “...”
Dandere Mode: Your mood is as cold as your fluffy blue hair.
Type: Passive/Cosmetic[Dandere Mode] has been absorbed by [The 'Dere is in the Hair].
Ah, a new form, I have been wondering how many there are. So they are called modes, makes sense. Let’s go see what Mjolnir changed into~. I dig around in the pile of clothes on the floor, and can’t find anythi- Wait found it, is it? No? Yes~ It’s a motherfucking gun~! Crap, I was too cheerful, and reverted to [Neutral Mode]... Let’s recite the mantra: ohmmmmmmm~ Calm, cool, collected, calm, cool, collected. I change back into [Dandere Mode], hmmm… let’s practice, this mode seems like it will be the hardest to maintain… Oh! It seems that when I’m calm, I can sense this energy inside me. Let’s try to move it, hnnnnnng~. Oh! It increased! Hnnnnnng~. It increased again! Let’s try circulating it now… How do I do that? Abra Cadabra~! Wingar~dium Levio~sa! … Wifi implant! Let’s check how the great people of the past did it. mangawarehouse dot neet. (I don’t know if that’s a real site, don’t try it, I’m not responsible for what happens.) Hmmmm, the experts of the past say that it might be Ki, and that I can either compress it, or explode it out… Still doesn’t explain how i do that… Let’s just go with what I was doing before… Hnnnnng~ Hnnnnng~ Hnnnnng~
Selene: “It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this!”
You have discovered Ki!Ki: Hybrid of mental and physical energy, used by martial and spiritual arts practitioners.
Type: ResourceYou have discovered Ki Meditation - Compression!Ki Meditation - Compression: You cultivate your Ki by compressing it.
Type: Passive
Oh, nice~! Wait… Hold on… I pick up the gun, [Inspect]:
Ki Gun: Pistol that fires projectiles formed out of the user's Ki.
Type: Ranged Weapon --- Rarity: Unique
That’s pretty nice, I guess? I’ll find out later after shooting it. I separate myself from Midas, and get out of bed while waking him up. I switch to [Neutral Mode] as I get dressed, while shoving Selene in my bra-vest armor thingy. I’ll need to come up with a name for that, I’ll ask Selene to put that on my to-do list, once she’s sober. I head to the bathroom, and find Midas in front of the sink. As I walk past him to the toilet, I brush a finger down his spine.
Midas: “NYAAAAAAAA!”
Oh. My. God. Cat people really do that? Awww~ the poor guy is stuck to the ceiling… I sit down, and do my business while Midas glares at me. Ah~ he’s adorable even when he’s mad.
Midas: “Why would you do that!? I could have had a heart attack!”
I’m feeling playful this morning, so I’ll do this: I activate [Dandere Mode] and stare him right in the eye and say this:
Tyche: “And then you would respawn./”
I switch back to [Neutral Mode], and start laughing until I was glad that I was already sitting on the toilet. Fear me, for this isn’t even my final form! The glaring intensifies, so I try to cheer him up:
Tyche: “Check your status screen in the UI, Selene is still recovering.”
He visibly brightens up, drops down to the floor, and slips on the rug. Awwwww~... I swear to god, he will overdose me on d’awww one of these days… We finish up in the bathroom, and leave our room hand in hand where we run into a raccoon… Oh, it’s a sleep deprived Inn Manager.
Racoon: “You two are not welcome here anymore! GET OUT!”
Lady, I swear to god, don’t ruin our mood, I will bust a cap. I can do that now. Ah, I should buy a surgical mask and eye patch for [Dandere Mode]... Damnit, I’m really getting into my Cosplayer Class… Anyway~
Tyche: “For what?”
Raccoon: “You two were going at it all night, keeping half the Inn awake! I won’t tolerate it!”
Tyche: “For an Inn that boasts about its soundproofing, it seems to be pretty lacking.”
Raccoon: “Doesn’t matter, GET OUT!”
Tyche: “I want my money back!”
Raccoon: “NO REFUNDS, GET OUT! GUARDS!”
Tyche: “I WANT MY MONEY BACK YOU FAT FUCKING FRAUDULENT TANUKI BITCH! THE BELLYBUTTON IS ALL BUT A TECHNICALITY NOW! I BET YOU KNOW NOOK! WHERE IS HE? THAT ASSHOLE HAS BEEN RIPPING ME OFF FOR YEARS!”
I’m in [Yandere Mode] while holding Mjolnir, getting ready to procure myself a coon skin hat. People will call me Danielle Boone, Midas is… Dammit, that won’t work, he’s Navajo, not Cherokee, so he can’t be Mingo… While I’m deliberating a proper metaphor in my head, Midas picks me up, puts me under his arm, and runs out of the Inn.
---
Chestertown - Merchants Quarter - 15 Minutes later.
Ah! He’s married to me, so he just has to join my clan, that way he can be the Cherokee Chief Mingo! My metaphor complete, I lift Mjolnir higher, ready to smite the Raccoon… Huh? Why am I dangling under Midas’ arm like a corpse?
Tyche: “Where are we?”
Midas: “Merchants Quarters.”
Ah, we can sell our Bandit-loot here. Midas puts me down, turns around and walks away while calling over his shoulder that he will be right back… Did I just get abandoned? I walk to the sidewalk, take out Box-Sama from my inventory, place it on the ground face up, and take out my harp . I sit inside, my ears and tails are drooping.
Tyche: “You're in the arms of the Box-Sama~ May you find some comfort here~”
People are dropping coins into the box as they walk by. A crowd is growing around me, most likely reveling in my misery. Midas pushes his way through the crowd, and makes his way to me while holding food. Oh… He was fetching food, not abandoning me… [Tsundere Mode] activates as I start blushing, while my ears perk up and tails begin to wag.
Midas: “What’s going on here?”
Tyche: “I-i-idiot! Just don’t leave me like that without explaining!” *thwack* *thwack* *thwack*
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
I put Box-Sama, my harp, and almost 40 silver in copper into my inventory, skip up to Midas and grab his arm. It’s not like I forgive him or anything…
Tyche: *cough* “A-anyway, let’s go to the real estate office!”
Midas: “Why?”
Tyche: “If you haven’t noticed, we’re homeless. Unless you want to sleep in the streets or meadows, we’ll head to the Real Estate office. Hold on a second.”
I walk into an alley, activate [Dandere Mode] and shoot the ground a few times with the Ki Gun. It’s silent. I walk back to Midas, re-attach myself to his arm, and begin formulating my plan of revenge. We head to the real estate office.
---
Chesterwood Home - The Next Evening
Ah, welcome to our humble abode. Hold on a second, I’m navigating the GM menu. O~hohoho! … That was weird, I tried to do my evil laugh, stupid drills… Anyway, I just finished converting this property into a player house. You see, players can only buy certain designated properties. Since Midas and I are labelled as both a player and NPC, we can buy regular property too, but it won’t be player housing. But~ We are undercover GMs! We can convert it to player housing! Isn’t fair you say? Against the rules you say? Screw da rules, we gots blackmail material.
Anyway~ Player housing only lets in whitelisted players, and you can set the NPC access rights. We have both set to whitelist only, so nobody can rob us! We have a safehouse! And we can teleport to the house once a day! Convenient eh? Where are we? We’re right across the street from that Bitch Raccoon’s Inn. I’ve been shooting at the doors and windows since last night! Right before I started, I found a switch on the side with two settings: stun and full. Full, meaning full power, is self explanatory. Stun on the other hand, only does minor damage to the nervous system, and stops when it hits solid objects. I decided to change the name from Ki Gun to Phaser. Ah, Midas entered the room.
Midas: “The new bed we ordered has arrived, should I let them in to set it up?”
I turn around in my swivel chair. I lift my hand up.
Tyche: “Make it so.”
I swivel back, and shoot the Inn’s windows a few more times. A scream of frustration answers me. Ah~ Revenge tastes so awesome~! This must be what blueberries taste like in game! I continue practicing the harp while popping shots between songs. Ah, that’s Midas calling me, I guess it’s time to break the bed in~! I open up a portal above the bed and on the ground in front of me.
Tyche: “Beam me up Scotty!”
I jump in.
---
Merchants Quarter - The next afternoon
Welcome back! Midas and I have been selling bandit loot all morning. How much did we make? Don’t know. Did they screw us over? Nope~ Once we told them who our parents were, we got the best serviced in Chesterwood. Oddly enough, each of those merchants had a Mjolnir shaped scar on the side of their head. My dad sure is crazy~. I do know that we easily made back what we spent on the house. We did keep a few items from the bandits though. Namely a [Permanent Camping Ring], camp tools, and a few other odds and ends.
What is a [Permanent Camping Ring] you say? That’s easy, it’s a ring that summons a soundproof and vision obscuring privacy barrier. It prevents all animals, bugs, and weather from entering inside. It also has the same white-list function as player housing. You can only use it every 8 hours though, but it lasts for 24. You can’t just spam it all willy-nilly though, if you cast it again while one is already up, the previous one cancels. No more keeping watch at night! We can continue our night activities while on the road! Yay~!
Now, on to our night activities, it’s the perfect stat grinding training! It covers all of the stats~! Think of a better way to use the position? Here, have some Wisdom. Think of a new position? here have some Intellect. Perception… Let’s just say Midas shot me in the eye, and I saw it cumming… Selene is recovering at home, we learned not to overdo it with the Fairynip. Anyway, she can’t show you the stats today.
Fairy: “Hey, got some Fairynip?”
Midas/Tyche: “...”
Fairy: “I’ll suck ‘yo dick fo’ some Fairynip.”
Midas: “No we do-”
Tyche: “Hold on there Midas, we have to see if it’s human… fairily possible. FOR SCIENCE!”
Midas: *Thwack* “No! How about a status screen for some Fairynip?”
Fairy: “Status Screen? Haven’t did that in quite a while, hmmmm…. How did that go again?”
While the rest of this conversation is going on, I’m kneeling on the ground while clutching the back of my head… That fucking hurt! I got carried away there, so I will forgive this transgression… Midas and the fairy shake hands… The Fairy grasps his finger, and the deal is struck. The fairy gives you our stats while Midas sprinkles some Fairynip on her face.
[table=purple]StatusLevel:11Race:ChimeraClass:CosplayerHP:307Mana/Psy:339Ki:602Stamina450Tyche Luck:MAXMidas Luck:MINTycheTitles:Twin-SoulChuunibyouInheritor of MjolnirFemaleIt's a trap!MidasTitles:Twin-SoulChuunibyouChampion of DumbassMaleIt's a trap!PhysicalAgility:30Strength:17DefensiveConstitution:27Endurance:40MentalIntellect:29Wisdom:23OtherDexterity:19Perception:15Spirit:52AffinitiesBacon:100%Muffin:100%Light:60%Dark:60%Nature:45%Spacial:100%Fire:25%Earth:25%[/table]
---
Author’s Notes: Oopsie! I was sleep deprived, and switched Dandere with Kuudere... I'm sowwie! There might not be a chapter tomorrow, as I have an infusion at the hospital. Anywho~ This chapter was fun. And yes, I hate Nook. With a burning passion. I wish that thieving bastard raccoon would die in a fire. And this series won’t have sex scenes everywhere. If inspiration strikes my fancy, I’ll put some in, otherwise, it’d get boring pretty fast.