4. FARMYARD RUMBLE

Mary’s evil lamb had taken up residence in a row of large barns on the edge of the farm. Nanoc and his friends set off on foot, crossing fields and walking through orchards.

“There are more of the evil sheep out there,” Rotcel ‘Loc said. “I can hear them. Look out!”

A dozen possessed sheep burst out from the grass with a chorus of baas. This time Nanoc was expecting them and made short work of the beasts with his club. Dren was ready, too, in his own way.

“Fascinating,” he said, sidestepping a headless sheep with three hooves on each leg. “These are rather crude magical manifestations, you see, barely powerful enough to— “

One of the sheep slammed into his back, knocking him over. He cursed as he dropped his pen. Nanoc was immediately beside him, smacking away the sheep as they burst from the field. There were too many of them – the little gnome was already sweating from knocking them all down.

“What about blackberries?” he shouted out. “Are they berries?”

“Do you know, they aren’t.”

The gnome screamed in annoyance, smashing through a dozen more possessed sheep until they were all gone. He kicked the ground a few times, still angry.

“Here come more!” Rotcel ‘Loc shouted, and a second wave of sheep surged towards them.

Nanoc stomped and clubbed, Rotcel stabbed, and Dren cast lightning and fireballs until his voice grew hoarse, but the possessed sheep kept coming. The sheep formed a wall of magical flesh, the sheer bulk of their bodies forcing Nanoc and his friends towards a nearby barn. The barn was a long building that had once sheltered sheep and other animals. Its humble wooden walls had turned dark and purple, and long white tendrils hung from the roof, waving in the air although there was no wind. The barn’s doors looked like a mouth set with a ring of iron stalactite teeth. It looked hungry.

Rotcel ‘Loc shuddered.

“I know I grew up in a city and all, and farms are new territory for me,” Nanoc said, ”but do farm barns typically look this… mean?”

“Do you know, barns are seldom mentioned in books,” Dren replied apologetically, blasting a possessed sheep with lightning. “So I cannot provide any further information on whether they normally have purple tentacles extending from the roof. I shall be glad to note it, however, that others might learn from our experiences. If we survive, that is.”

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Once the three heroes were pushed up against the barn, the wall of possessed sheep stopped moving towards them.

“They want us to go inside,” Rotcel ‘Loc said, shivering in fear. “They’re forcing us to.”

“Nah,” Nanoc said. “I won’t do something just because a sheep wants me to. This is a problem, and the best solution is to kill everything. Lamb chops!”

The short barbarian charged at the wall of possessed sheep, initiating his powerful berserk skill to double his strength and speed. Sheep went flying through the air as he kicked, punched, and headbutted his way through their ranks.

“He thinks killing everything is the solution to every problem,” Rotcel ‘Loc said, shaking her reptilian head. “But it didn’t work when we were caught in the storm, and it isn’t going to work now, either.”

“Those poor raindrops,” Dren agreed. “They didn’t deserve to be punched like that.”

Nanoc’s charge was losing power. Every sheep he struck down was replaced with two more, and the sheer mass of their bodies pushed him back towards the barn until he stood beside his friends again, facing the wall of possessed livestock.

“Do you know, it doesn’t matter how many you kill, Mary’s lamb will just summon more,” Dren explained helpfully. “The only way to get rid of them is to defeat the lamb behind all this, which means going inside the barn.”

“Right,” Nanoc panted. “And did you know that the whole time I was fighting?”

“Of course!” Dren replied cheerfully.

“You could have said.”

“You wouldn’t have listened.”

Rotcel ‘Loc shook her head.

“This barn is an evil place,” she said. “A monster lives here, something far worse than anything I’ve faced. We don’t want to go in.”

Her warning was dutifully noted by Dren and wholly ignored by Nanoc, who was already trying to open the barn doors. A loud noise that was half baaa and half scream cut him off. It was followed by a deep and disconcerting burst of laughter that made the spines on Rotcel ‘Loc’s back stand up. Even Nanoc froze for a moment.

But only for a moment.

“That sounded like our possessed lamb,” he said. “Let’s go kill it so we can get back to sorting the berry situation out.”

He rapped on the barn doors with his club.

“Knock knock! Who’s there? An angry gnome!”

The doors swung open to let him walk inside, slamming behind him.

“An angry gnome who what?” Dren shouted at the door. “Nanoc, an angry gnome who what? I have to know!”

There was a snarl from inside and a thump. Something screamed; a gnome-sized object banged into the wall. Dren put his notebook away and drew a wooden wand from his pocket. Despite what people thought, he knew when action was needed.

He forced the door open.

“Nanoc, finish the joke before you die!” he shouted as he followed the gnome inside. “You have to finish the knock-knock joke! I need it for my notes!”

This left Rotcel ‘Loc standing outside, alone, facing the wall of possessed sheep. She wasn’t too worried: this wasn’t the worst position she’d ever escaped from. She was fast, she was tough, and she was quite willing to abandon her party if need be.

Except… she couldn’t leave, not yet.

’I’ll let you do this bit, then,” she shouted into the barn. “Let me know if you need anything. Once you find the crown I’ll just be—"

A purple tentacled shot out of the barn, wrapped itself around the lizardling, and dragged her into the monster’s den.