“Go slowly now,” Rotcel ‘Loc warned as they approached the top of the tower. “We do not know what we face, but if he controls all these trolls, it must be a monster of great power. Nanoc, you must prepare to use both your berserk abilities—"
“I already used one in the kitchen,” Nanoc said.
“What? Already?”
“Yeah.”
“But you should have—”
“They were making a cake with cabbages, Rotcel. Cabbages.”
The room they entered was a single chamber that spanned the whole tower and was a mix of library and madhouse. Along one wall was a shelf holding a mess of books with names like ‘Why the trolls should have won the uncivil war’ piled up beside demotivation books like ‘Everything that’s wrong with your life is somebody else’s fault’ and ‘Humans: they’re the reason you smell bad.’ The largest book of all was on its own pedestal. It was called ‘The troll king’s book of secrets’ and Nanoc wanted to read it immediately.
The wall next door was even worse: a net of red string connected a dozen painted images of lizardlings, the king, a puppy, and so on. Nanoc stared at it until his brain hurt. These things might have been related, but how did the sheep’s skull fit in? Or the mango that had been wedged inside the sheep’s mouth? How did that connect to an impossible picture of the world Below shown as a sphere, even though water would undoubtedly fall off the bottom? What did that have to do with the single white rose, the ancient gold coin, the bag of hair? How were they all connected? How?
Nanoc and his friends stared at the wall; it was hypnotic, and the red lines connecting all the pieces seemed to move at random.
“Ah, I see you are admiring my research,” a deep voice said from across the room. “It’s quite true, you know.”
“Which bits? That sheep have been causing mango shortages? That the world is round, or—”
“All of it,” a troll said, stepping forward. “It’s all true!”
He was the most enormous troll they had seen, with deep purple skin and a bright white mohawk and beard. His beard was a wild, untamed thing that covered his neck and merged into his chest hair. It may have looked rugged on another person, but bits of popcorn and cheese were caught up in the hair, which rather ruined its glory.
“I am the king of the trolls,” he said, “master of the ancient secrets. I made that board, I wrote that book. They are mine, and they are all true.”
He was the king of the trolls, the most powerful troll of all. It was his fortress, his army, his training school. He was power, he was terror, he was indestructible.
“Dibs!” Nanoc shouted. “I call dibs. Leave him to me!”
But Captain Toirtap was faster. The soldier charged the troll, sword drawn, shouting, “For the princess! I mean… the king!”
The troll king moved with a speed that should have been impossible for something of his size, catching the captain in one massive hand and throwing him right out of the window. There was a scream and a clunk. The troll hadn’t even exerted himself – he hadn’t used a skill or an ability, he just had really high strength and dexterity.
Absurdly high. Even Nanoc felt concern, if not actual fear. Nobody wanted to be torn limb-from-limb by a troll and then eaten. Nanoc used his identify enemy skill.
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Mit, King of the Trolls
Level 37 Dark Lord
It takes special cunning and brutality to rule over the trolls. Beware: while this troll is mighty in form, the real danger lies in his dark charisma!
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“Weesh,” Nanoc muttered. “Be careful, everyone, he’s a level thirty-seven, you know.”
That was very high. When Artifact designed the class system, it had set the maximum level for a single class at seven times seven. Most mortals Below only had a passing interest in the god Mathematics and struggled to count on whatever combination of fingers/claws/flippers they had been born with, so they interpreted the highest level to be anywhere between forty and sixty-three. Should a mortal reach the highest level for a single class (forty-nine, probably) they would ascend to the heavens Above on a pillar of flame to be lauded by the gods. It was a rare mortal who focused on a single class with such dedication that they might reach the final level, and even they faced terrible challenges from the gods themselves, who did not approve of mortals getting ideas above their station.
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
Mit, the troll king, was some way off from ascending to heaven, but he had followed the Dark lord class to such a high level that few other mortals could challenge him. He grinned at the trio of lesser-leveled adventurers, daring them to attack him.
“We may be in a bit of trouble here,” Nanoc whispered. “I hate to admit it, but we should probably run.”
“No,” Rotcel ‘Loc said suddenly. “I mean, yes, we should, but how? He moves fast, for a troll, and if he shouts, he’ll bring his whole army up the stairs. We need a distraction.”
“Have you three come to whisper amongst yourselves or to challenge my might?” the troll king demanded. “Do I need to remind you to roll for initiative?”
“Us?” Rotcel ‘Loc said guiltily. “Oh, no, we haven’t come to fight you.”
“But that soldier attacked me!”
“Him? Ah, no, we don’t know him,” Nanoc said.
Dren tried to correct the gnome, but Rotcel ‘Loc elbowed the scholar in his stomach and he collapsed, breathless. The troll did not seem to notice.
“Yeah,” Nanoc said, “I’m glad you threw that guy out the window. Saved us some time. We actually just stopped by to, uh, to, uh, to see what you were up to. Yes, that’s right. You’re the king troll, and we wanted to see what great things you are doing.”
It was lucky for Nanoc that barbarians were a class with strong charisma. His words seemed to mollify the troll lord.
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Charisma check… successful! The troll king is not going to eat you, yet
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“Of course you don’t want to challenge me, of course not,” the troll king said. “You have no doubt come seeking my secrets, am I correct?”
Dren coughed violently at the troll’s audacity, but they could not afford to make the creature angry.
“We have certainly come a long way and fought many enemies to meet you,” Nanoc said, glancing down at Dren. The scholar nodded – that was true enough, so far. “Please, we are most interested in hearing of your plans for the kingdom.”
“Of course you are!” the troll lord snapped. “I see the elf doubts me, but at least the dwarf is sensible.”
Dren coughed again, and even Nanoc frowned, but they did not argue.
“Come here, I want to show you something,” the troll lord said. “The other trolls are so dim, so it will be good to show my plans to someone reasonably intelligent for a change.”
Nanoc glanced at Dren, who shrugged. The troll lord wasn’t worried about them; why would he be? He could tell them all the secrets to his evil plan and then kill and eat them afterward. The troll turned away to a set of smelting equipment he had set up against a wall.
“Do you know, he seems to be drawing his great power from nearby artifacts,” Dren whispered. “Perhaps if we destroy those—”
“Attend me!” the troll shouted. “Or do you not understand what greatness I am offering to show you? I am very intelligent, you see. I’m probably the smartest person you will ever meet—”
This made Dren shudder. A thought struck the elf, and he returned to the conspiracy wall to read it. The troll ignored him.
“You have come at a critical time,” the troll continued. “I have great plans, you see, that go beyond one kingdom. This place is a testing ground for the tools I will use to create an empire. See here!”
“Rings,” Rotcel ‘Loc said, suddenly interested. “Golden ones.”
“Yes, here are seven rings of power that I have made, and into each one I have poured my will and malice!”
“Shiny,” Rotcel ‘Loc said, glancing over at Dren and wondering what the elf was doing.
“Very nice,” Nanoc agreed. “But aren’t they a bit small for your fingers?”
“The rings are a trick, dwarf! I shall unleash my troll armies on the kings and queens of seven lands, and when they are defeated, I shall gather them here and offer them these rings as a token of peace! But in truth the rings do not cause peace, they are a trap!”
“Oh?”
“Yes! I shall gather the kings and queens of the land here to my tower and in the darkness bind them!”
“Do you know, they’re probably already blind if it’s dark,” Dren said helpfully as he worked on the conspiracy board.
“I said bind them, not blind them,” the troll lord snapped. “And get away from my board, elf!”
“Ah, well, binding is bit different, isn’t it?” Nanoc said. “Kinky. But as long as it’s consensual. We’re not judging.”
“What? No, that’s not what—” the troll king protested, turning away from Dren to glare at Nanoc.
“Whatever you’re into,” Rotcel ‘Loc said, eyeing the window and wondering if she would survive the fall from it. “No judgment at all!”
“That’s not… not like… that’s not what I meant!” the troll yelled.
“No judgment!”
“Will you stop that?” the troll demanded. No, I—"
The troll king stamped one massive foot in frustration and wagged a huge finger at Nanoc.
“You don’t appreciate the brilliance of what I’m doing here!” he whined. “I—"
“Done!” Dren called out from the conspiracy board. “That’s much better.”
The troll king stopped in mid-sentence, then slowly turned around towards Dren. The hairs on the back of his massive neck rose in anger as he saw what the elf had been doing.
“You! Elf! What have you done to my beautiful board!”