15. LEGENDARY BOSS TOAD

GLUP! the Boss Bane Toad hopped forward towards the heroes, its massive body flattening ferns and bushes with each step he took. The toad’s skin was covered in thick warts, and a huge mushroom sat on its head like a cap.

“GLUP!” the boss toad roared. “GLUP! GLUP!”

It spat out a stream of mud that hit the dwarven blocker in the center of his shield. The dwarf braced for a moment, but the mud flowed over his shield and his feet. He slipped, carried away by a river of mud. The striker who had been standing behind him leaped away but slipped and fell face-first into the mud. GLUP! turned the stream of mud on the other heroes, who scattered. The edge of the stream of mud caught Nanoc, sliding him across the clearing until he hit a fallen log. He was covered in mud; it was in his nose, in his mouth. He was drowning in it.

“Do you know, that is a most spectacular toad,” Dren said from behind the log. “The legendary field scholar, Niwrad, wrote that the boss form of common monsters may be many times the size of their lesser brethren, but this is really something amazing."

Nanoc struggled to his feet and threw himself over the log, landing on his face, gasping as adrenaline was pumped through his chest. It is only natural, when faced with the danger of being eaten alive, that a mortal’s primary instincts take over, which in Dren’s case meant he was making a hasty sketch in his notebook for whoever found his body. He stopped for a moment to pass Nanoc a tiny knife.

“I use it to sharpen my quills,” he explained as the gnome sawed through his bounds.

Nanoc risked a glimpse over the log just as GLUP! grasped one of the blockers in its front leg and flung the hero into the sky. Rellik smashed the toad with her axe, but the blade bounced right off the toad’s thick skin. The toad slapped Rellik with one enormous hand, sending her flying backward. She twisted in the air and landed on her feet, then shook her head and yelled at the toad. GLUP! sprayed her with a stream of snot from its left nostril, but she ducked behind a blocker just in time and his shield absorbed the worst of it.

“Scholar Nowrad would have loved to see this,” Dren continued, oblivious to the fight. “It’s a pity he’ll never know if it.”

“Why not?” Nanoc asked.

“His theories were unpopular at the time, and he was gathering evidence to confirm his position when he was eaten alive by a boss weasel.”

“I’m not surprised,” Nanoc muttered.

“Do you know, it was a terrible loss, a terrible loss. He did leave several excellent notebooks, however—”

“We should get out of here,” Nanoc suggested. “Right now. Let’s go!”

He grabbed the field scholar’s robe, but the elf was peering over the log at the toad and was too focused on the beast to notice anything else.

“—some powerful insights,” Dren continued, oblivious to Nanoc’s concern, “One of which was that a boss will do all it [can to prevent intruders from escaping, and its minions will help, too. In summary, we can’t run, gnome, it will only follow us. We must defeat it if we wish to live.”

Dren popped his head over the log to take a look at the beast. The toad was spitting out bright blobs of poison that hissed and steamed wherever they landed.

“GLUP!” the beast roared, its voice shaking the leaves. “GLUP!”

“Do you think it’s really called ‘Glup’, or is that the only word it knows?” Dren asked interest. “I read a paper about a family of wolves all called ‘Frankie’, you know, so it’s not—”

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“GLUP!”

The toad had seen them; it charged at the log they were hiding behind, shattering it into splinters and sending Nanoc running one way and Dren running the other. The party of heroes was already reforming on the other side of the clearing, Nial Liv shouting at his team to get into position. Being attacked by monsters was a weekly event for members of the Guild of Heroes, and even the blocker who had been flung into the sky was back on her feet. GLUP! might have taken them by surprise, but the fight was far from over.

It was time for the heroes to counterattack.

“Formation one!” Nial Liv the archer snapped.

Nanoc nodded, unsurprised. Formation one was simple: a clump with the blockers at the front and the strikers right behind. The heroes formed up, although the blockers were quite hesitant and had to be forced into place by the strikers. The human blocker who had been hit with snot found himself in the center of the front line. He shifted his heavy shield, suddenly unsure if he could trust mere wood to protect him.

“Ready!” Nial Liv shouted. “Ready! We’ll strike as soon as it attacks the gnome!”

GLUP! lowered its head and sprayed Nanoc and Dren with poisonous green drops from glands beneath its eyes.

“Cinap’s shield of scrolls!” Dren called out, waving his hands.

A dozen translucent scrolls formed above him. The goo hit the shield with a sizzle, but although a few pages faded, the shield held. GLUP looked astonished, but attacked again with a larger blast, using all its poison at once to cover the shield. The pages snapped and crackled from the attack, then came a loud pop as the pages burst and faded away.

“Damn,” Dren said as the toad reached out to grab him. “Do you know, I really thought that would work.”

Nanoc grabbed the scholar by his waist and dragged him back. Luckily the heroes took that moment to hit GLUP! from behind. Arrows flew and spells sizzled as the colossal beast roared in annoyance, rearing up on its hind legs and spinning towards this new challenge with astounding speed for something of its bulk.

“Pord, get ready for its attack!” Nial Liv shouted. “Rellik, hit it with a stun!”

“Here we go,” said the dwarven blocker, Pord, without enthusiasm, bracing himself to be hit.

Pord’s shield grew until it was the size of a barn door and thick as a plank. It was so heavy that Pord had to rest the bottom edge on the ground. It had only just reached its full size when GLUP’s front foot slammed down, shattering the shield but leaving the heroes unharmed. Pord fell over, stunned by the ferocity of the attack, but the other heroes remained on their feet. The other two blockers attacked at once, slashing with their short blades. The strikers also moved into position. Rellik muttered a spell over a small throwing hammer before tossing it at the toad. Rellik’s hammer landed with a crack on the toad’s skull. She’d used a powerful hammer throw ability, and the blow sent the toad cross-eyed in pain.

“Hit it with everything!” Rellik shouted. “A beast that big must have treasure!”

GLUP! struck out again, slapping at Rellik, but the orc was too fast.

She ducked and dodged the giant toad, distracting it while the other heroes got into position.

“Get it!” Nial Liv shouted, and the archer himself launched a volley of arrows, most of which shattered on the toad’s warty skin.

The toad opened its great mouth to spit out its tongue, but that just revealed its tender tonsils to Nial Liv’s attacks. The elemental archer sent several arrows into the boss toad’s throat.

“GLUP! GLUP GLUP!” the boss toad protested, raising a foot to protect its face and deflecting a second volley of arrows.

The heroes’ formation was holding for the moment, and their attacks were beginning to break past the beast’s formidable defenses. Nanoc circled around GLUP!, half looking for an opening to attack it and half looking for a chance to run away without it noticing. GLUP! saw the gnome and spat its enormous purple tongue to catch him. Nanoc leaped through the air, but he knew he was too late.

“Dren’s Procrastination!” Dren called out.

The world slowed around Nanoc. The giant toad’s tongue seemed far away and moving as slowly as a penny dropped in treacle. Nanoc turned in the air, letting the tongue pass him by. He landed in a neat roll, jumping back to his feet. The toad’s tongue began to retract slowly, and the heroes were moving into a new formation with glacial speed.

“Ha!” Nanoc shouted. “I am too fast for you, beast! I am Nanoc, the only gnome barbarian, and I will end you with my—”

Time flowed back. GLUP!’s tongue snapped back into its head with an elastic snap! The toad lowered its head and charged forward, but the slowed time had given the gnome time to prepare.

“Eat this!” Nanoc shouted, activating his retribution skill as GLUP! the boss bane toad’s head hit him like a battering ram.