1. THE ROAD TO HELL

Deep beneath the surface of the oceans Below, growing like a cancer in the bones of the world, lay the the city of Hell. The city was a labyrinth of shining black buildings in which mortal souls were bought, sold, stolen, hoarded, and argued over. Flames leaped wildly through the city, and a river of magma flowed through its center. It was a terrible place, filled with choking smoke; in all of Hell’s history, no mortal had ever visited by choice. And yet, on the edges of the dark sands that surrounded the city, between rows of white stone that jutted like crooked teeth, there was a flash of blue light as a magical door opened, and three figures stumbled through. The magical door shrank down to a point of blue light and disappeared.

“Do you know, my head is killing me,” Dren groaned. “Where are we, Nanoc?”

The drinks the night before had been free, although the price was a terrible hangover and a likely fate worse than death. Rotcel ‘Loc was leaning on Dren, her scales pale and her spikes limp. She threw up over her own feet.

“Hell. Or the outskirts of Hell, really,” Nanoc said. “The actual city is over there somewhere.”

“Oh,” Dren said, then added. “So are we dead, or—”

“Nope.”

“Pity. Why are we here, then?”

“We’re going to rob the place,” Nanoc explained. “It’ll be fun.”

His enthusiasm was not shared by the others. Dren dropped Rotcel ‘Loc and lay down on the ground. Rotcel groaned.

“Explain to me like I’m a hatchling,” Rotcel ‘Loc asked, clutching her head. “Why would we agree to do such an idiotic thing?”

“Well, we were drinking and—”

“No!” Rotcel ‘Loc said. “No, take me back right away.”

“Don’t be a scaredy-lizard! All we’re going to do is steal Reeb's contract with another devil so that Reeb can own the Inn Stant,” Nanoc said. “Come on, you love stealing stuff!”

“I do love stealing stuff,” Rotcel ‘Loc conceded. “I do love stealing stuff… but why are we doing this for Reeb? Is he even paying us?”

“Reeb seems like a good guy, and I like helping people,” Nanoc explained.

“Do you know, those really are good intentions,” Dren muttered. “We’re definitely going to hell.”

“So we’re going to hell to rob a demon to help a demon,” Rotcel ‘Loc said flatly. For free, which adds insult to likely injury. I don’t like doing things for free.”

“He’s a good demon,” Nanoc argued.

“A good demon,” Dren whispered, searching his many pockets for painkillers before giving up and muttering what might have been a spell or might also have been a curse. In either case, it didn’t help. “A good demon, Nanoc? Are you sure?”

Nanoc shrugged. “Pretty sure. I mean—"

“You didn’t offer him your soul, did you?” Rotcel ‘Loc asked sharply.

“No? I did offer him yours, though, if we failed.”

“What? That better be a joke, gnome, or—"

“Anyway, there’s bound to be treasure down here somewhere, and I bet this is one city nobody has ever written about,” Nanoc said, which shut his friends up at once. “But this is a strange place for a city, so far from the sun and without water. What do the devils do for food, Dren?”

“Do you know, devils are spiritual beings, like angels, and do not need to eat,” Dren said. “Also, they like the heat. This city serves their purposes better than any on the surface.”

“I don’t trust them,” Rotcel ‘Loc said, quite unnecessarily. Even devils did not trust other devils and with good reasons, too. “This place gives me the creeps. If we survive this, I’m going to kill you, gnome.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“And eat him?” Dren asked curiously.

“No, once I’m done there won’t be enough of him left to put on a sandwich. I—”

Nanoc had wandered off to look at the city. It was impressive, in a black-rock and flames sort of way. His friends joined him, the sight of the city silencing them. Faint screams of trapped souls drifted over the plains, the sound of mortal oppression beyond imagining. Rotcel ‘Loc shivered, for even her cold blood was chilled by what she heard.

“Do you know, the devils used to live in the city of heaven Above,” Dren said at last. “The gods threw them out, eventually.”

“For being evil?” Nanoc asked with interest. He hadn’t heard this story before.

“Sort of. They were recruiting the angels to a multi-level marketing scheme in which souls were gathered and—"

Dren kept talking for some time about the devil’s scheme. Pyramids were involved, and small containers of food, too. The devils guaranteed that if an angel collected a single soul, they could invest it over time and earn a dozen souls in the long run without ever having to work for them. It didn’t make much sense; economics never does.

“Dren?” Nanoc said, at last, interrupting the elf.

“Yes, Nanoc?”

“Can you please stop talking?”

“Oh? Why? Are you worried I might be attracting monsters, or—”

“No, it’s not that. I just want you to stop talking.”

Nanoc flicked his fire elemental into being, and it hopped onto his shoulder, lighting the area in dancing read. The light reflected off a massive eye in the shadows beneath the stone teeth.

The trio froze.

“It’s only one eye,” Nanoc said calmly. “So a cyclops, or—”

A second enormous eye opened beside the first. It was the size of a dinner plate.

“Two eyes,” Nanoc continued, “that’s not so bad—”

A third eye opened, and then a fourth, a fifth. Each was the size of a basketball. A dozen more eyes snapped open. Rotcel whimpered.

“Do you know, I’ve never heard of an animal with seventeen eyes—”

The eyes began to move, each one jumping around independently with big bounds. As they approached the fire elemental’s light, they revealed themselves as little more than huge eyes on spring-like legs. They bounced around like pogo sticks, circling Nanoc and his friends. Nanoc used his identify enemy ability.

Eyebeasts

These subterranean monsters are surprisingly agile for one-legged, oversized spheres filled with good. They attack in large packs.

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“Do you know, I don’t think we need to worry as they don’t even have mouths—"

One of the eyes blinked – its pupil disappeared, and in its place appeared a round mouth filled with teeth. The eyeball beast roared.

“—never mind, it seems that we do need to worry,” Dren corrected himself. “How fascinating!”

The nearest eyeball blinked into its mouth form and threw itself and Nanoc, slamming into him and knocking him over. The beast grabbed Nanoc by the foot, and the gnome punched it a dozen times before it let go. It bounced off, apparently no worse for wear. Blood poured down Nanoc’s leg as he pulled out a tooth that has gotten stuck in his calf.

“That’s like punching rubber,” Nanoc complained.

He ducked as a second mouth went sailing past, blind. It landed in the dark and was back in a moment, glaring from its single eye. The others took this as a sign, throwing themselves at Nanoc and his friends. The beasts were blind when in their toothy form, but each jump brought them closer to the trio of adventurers. Nanoc punched and kicked, but nothing he did could hurt or even discourage the eyes. After a wall, the panting gnome had to admit defeat.

“These things are impossible to hurt, and my head is killing me,” he said. “Let’s just let them eat us.”

“Wait!” Rotcel said. “I have an idea! Nanoc, take this.”

The lizardling handed the gnome a large onion. The eyeballs froze in place, glaring at the vegetable.

“Thanks! I’d prefer an apple, though, as far as last meals go—"

“No, I mean smash it open, gnome!”

Rotcel already had a second onion in one hand and a knife in the other. She skinned the vegetable as she side-stepped a jumping eyebeast, then flicked a bit of the onion right into the creature’s eye as it changed back. The giant eye snapped shut, big, greasy tears rolling out onto the ground. The eye burst like an overblown balloon.

“Got it,” Nanoc shouted, smashing the onion and coating his fists in the juices. “They’re giant eyes! They hate onions!”

He hit the nearest eye beast, and it screamed in anger and then exploded. Nanoc raced at the next beast, and the next, chasing them down.

“I stole these from Reeb’s kitchen,” Rotcel explained, brandishing the onions. “And I’m sure glad I did.”

“Why did you take them?” Dren asked, sketching the nearest eye beast.

“Because he didn’t have anything else worth taking. Ha! Eat bulb, you beast!”

Between Rotcel’s flicking of pieces and the Nanoc’s onion-y fists, the little beasts had no chance. Barely had they bounced away when a second wave arrived. There were far more of them, and their eyes were noticeably larger, too. Their teeth were like swords, their pupils tiny fragments of the abyss itself. They were like the bigger, uglier brothers of the eye beasts that had been defeated, and they had come for revenge.

“Do you happen to have any more onions, Rotcel?” Dren asked.

“No.”

“Ah, that’s a pity. I suppose its too much to hope for that you might be carrying pepper spray, or something similar?”

“Yes.”

The eyes were getting closer. Each time one blinked, its pupil turned into a circle of teeth, a hungry mouth. There were dozens of them, hundreds of them, bearing down like a ravenous tsunami. Any one of them could eat Nanoc in a single gulp.

“Run?” Rotcel ‘Loc suggested.

“Fight!” Nanoc insisted. “We can take them!”

Dren looked at his friends, then back at the wall of hungry eyeball beasts.

“Run,” he agreed.

He grabbed Nanoc by one arm while Rotcel ‘Loc took the other. They lifted the furious gnome off the ground. They dragged him away, kicking and screaming, to the relative safety of Hell.