I bent over with my hands on my knees as I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. The idea of the big, strong catonid silver ranker being terrified of a few little dwarves was just too amusing.

“I think you hurt her feelings,” Reggie said from behind me, sounding genuinely concerned for Sally’s emotional welfare.

He was such a nice guy. Too good for the likes of us. It didn’t prevent me from laughing even harder at his serious tone though.

Bell giggled beside me, though she didn’t seem to be quite as amused as I was.

“Reggie,” I began, struggling to speak through the giggling fit I’d succumbed to. “I think she might be scared of you too.”

I turned and looked him up and down. He was barely taller than a dwarf himself and his stocky shoulders didn’t exactly help his case. Jamie smirked at this and Reggie’s cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson.

“Fuck you, Kaleb,” Reggie replied indignantly before turning on his heels and marching back down the stairs. “I’m getting a drink.”

“Yup, he’s definitely one of them,” I called after him, practically howling at my own terrible joke.

Jamie flashed me a grin before hurrying after him. Even the moody Panda seemed to be enjoying the scene. Nothing put him in a good mood like verbally ripping into someone.

After a few moments of agonising laughter, I finally managed to regain control of myself. I turned to Bell and Panda; the latter was purposely facing away from the former as he looked up at me with cute, plushie-like eyes.

“In all seriousness, I actually do need to talk to Sally,” I said, gesturing towards her room door. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Bell nodded and skipped away from us like a school kid playing hopscotch. Panda glanced towards her and shook his head.

“Good luck in there, kid.” He snickered, before heading back to the bar as well.

With a sigh, I turned back to the door and knocked loudly. After a moment it was wrenched open and the towering catonid leaned over me, her scowling expression was the stuff of nightmares.

“What?” She huffed in a hostile tone.

“I need to talk to you about the make-up of the team,” I replied earnestly. “Reggie and I spoke about it earlier and as team leader, it fell to me to speak with you.”

She looked me up and down with her dark blue eyes as if deciding whether or not to entertain me. Then she quickly glanced up both sides of the hall as her silver hair swished from side to side, before stepping back and gesturing for me to come inside.

I entered her room and moved towards the window as she closed the door, applying a security chain which reminded me somewhat of a feature you’d expect to see in a shady motel.

The window was small, with no way to open it. It overlooked the village square where we’d met Ale. The sun was starting to drop below the peak of the mountain casting an idyllic orange glow over the quaint little mining town.

It reminded me of a typical postcard photo as I smiled to myself, basking in the natural beauty of it all. Directly opposite the inn was an entrance which seemed to lead underground.

It looked like a mine shaft. A thick, wooden frame crested the outside of a large tunnel that led into the mountain.

I wonder if the dwarves sing Hi-Ho as they walk single file down the shaft on their way to work. Now that would be a sight to see.

“Alright Gonads, what’s your issue with the team,” Sally said, half sighing as she plonked down onto the bed. It creaked with her weight and she crossed her legs and pulled out a thick cigar.

“Well.” I began nervously, turning to face her and leaning back against the window ledge. “Reggie and I got to talking and we realised that the make-up of the team seems a little skewed.

“We have a healer, two casters and an archer, but no melee specialist. It just seems like a bit of a design flaw to me. Three long-ranged attackers and their healer don’t exactly make for the most balanced adventuring team. Especially when our target is a dragon.”

She looked at me, letting out a puff of thick, black smoke which spiralled soothingly into the air. The smell was all-encompassing and I just knew it was going to stick to my armour. I’d spent enough of my life smelling like a chain smoker, I wasn’t keen on the idea of reliving that once I left the room.

I guess it can’t be helped, I sighed internally.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong.” She said thoughtfully. “A standard team of four should have a melee fighter, a healer, a mage, and some kind of specialist to fill the final spot.

“The thing is Gonads; you had a melee fighter in your team. But, in your infinite wisdom, you decided to shoot his fucking hand off and send him to the healers.”

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Jake fucking Milicent. I thought, remembering the stuck-up noble brat who had challenged me to a duel at the first examinee meeting.

“Oh,” I managed to say, struggling to find the words.

“Oh indeed,” Sally smirked, flashing me a momentary fangy grin. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much though. If that idiot noble challenged you to a duel the first time you met, then I doubt he’d have been a good team member for you anyway.

“Besides, you have those daggers of yours. There’s a reason I forbade you from using your bow in your last solo fight.” She smiled wickedly at me, taking in another drag from her cigar and pausing as her words sank in. “You are the team's melee specialist now.”

Well, shit.

She’d really planned it all out, hadn’t she? I was alright with my daggers, but the bow was where my powers and class skills really shone.

“… And you can take that straight to the bank.” She smirked, rising from the bed, and opening her door slightly. “Now get out Gonads, I need my beauty sleep.”

“More like a cat nap,” I muttered as I marched past her with my shoulders slumped and my head hung low.

“What was that?” She growled and I disappeared down the stairs without answering.

As I re-entered the bar, I noticed that the rowdy dwarves were even more numerous. Most of them were dirty from the mine’s soot, but they didn’t seem to care.

They were simply drinking their fill and having a good time. It was admirable in a way, to see hard-working folk having a good time. The simple life was a far cry from my own these days.

“Kaleb, over here!” Bell shouted chirpily, waving to me from a small booth in the far corner. Panda and the rest of the team were with her.

He sat on the edge of the booth with his arms folded and a scowl etched onto his face. I waved back, asked the moustached bartender to send a round of drinks to the table, and joined them.

The booth they’d found was a little cramped, I guess it was dwarf-sized, but we all managed to cram in somehow.

“Well?” Reggie said after a few moments of silence.

“She said that it was my fault we didn’t have a melee specialist because I kinda… shot his hand off,” I replied, rubbing the back of my stubbled head awkwardly.

“Jake can be a real ass,” Jamie muttered, shaking his head, and placing a cold hand on my shoulder.

I looked towards him. His eyes had large black rings underneath them and he looked pale. Perhaps other adventurers had a harder time going without sleep than I did.

“I guess we’ll just have to make do,” Reggie sighed and began loudly slurping ale from a wooden tankard.

I felt bad. It was technically my fault that we’d have to face the dragon with a sub-optimal team, but jeez, that Milicent guy was an asshole and he deserved to have it handed to him.

“Don’t worry guys,” Bell said sweetly. “I’ll just use my fireball and nuke the lizard.”

“Yeah… thanks,” I replied, taking a swig of my own drink as the bartender placed the round I’d purchased on the table.

It was a thick, amber liquid with white froth on the top. It looked and smelled just like a beer back home… but it definitely wasn’t.

It tasted like lukewarm motor oil and as the fizzy bubbles popped in my mouth, an overwhelming barley flavour lit up my taste buds.

It was awful. Definitely a far cry from the ale we had back home. I stuck out my tongue with disdain and placed the tankard back on the wet table half-heartedly.

“Not much of a drinker?” The bartender asked slyly as he watched me. “You know what they say: never trust a man who can’t handle his booze.” He winked at me and then walked away shaking his head and muttering something about sketchy sober humans.

“I think he likes you,” Bell snickered. “Just like how my fuzzy little buddy over here likes me!” She reached across the table to scratch Panda behind the ears and he batted her hand away irritably.

“What’s gotten into you lately?” I asked him as he glared at the sad-looking fireball mage.

“Nothing.” He replied in a gruff tone, facing away from the group with folded arms.

“It’s obviously not nothing,” I replied.

I didn’t want to push him if he didn’t want to talk about it, but this was getting ridiculous. If he didn’t like Bell that was fine, but he didn’t need to be so moody to the rest of us, especially me. We were supposed to be friends.

He growled and hopped down from the booth bench, trotting through the crowd with clenched paws.

“Maybe you should talk to him in private?” Reggie suggested, offering me a shrug as he closed his thin lips together and widened his eyes.

He was probably right, so with a heavy sigh, I stood up and left the group just in time to catch my familiar heading up the stairs.

I squeezed through the growing crowd of drunken dwarfs to follow him. I took the steps two at a time in a consorted effort to catch up and as I rounded the corner of the last flight I heard a door click shut.

I opened it and realised it led out onto a flat, wooden roof. It was pretty barren but offered a nice view of the town.

Panda sat on the edge of the room, slumped over slightly, and lighting his bamboo pipe. If he knew I’d followed him, he didn’t show it.

I moved next to him and plonked myself down on the edge, letting my legs dangle off the side. The breeze was quite nice and I looked over the top of the dwarven settlement as small, bumbling figures, staggered around on the streets below.

“You know.” I began hesitantly. “If there’s something bothering you, you can talk to me.”

“It’s stupid.” He muttered, refusing to meet my eyes as I looked towards him.

“If it’s bothering you then it’s not stupid to me,” I replied, choosing my words carefully. “We’re partners in all this.”

“Yeah but… for how long?” He said, looking at his lit pipe, but not smoking it.

“What do you mean?”

“Listen, kid.” He sighed deeply. “I wasn’t born yesterday, I’m a goddamn sage, and I can see that I’ve outgrown my use to you. Hell, I’m already being replaced.”

I looked at him in silence. I wasn’t sure what he meant but at least he was finally opening up to me.

“I’m a daemon.” He continued slowly. “Yeah, I can be a useful guide in the beginning, but the more you level up and learn about this world, the less you need me.

“And now…” He sniffed slightly and took a breath. “… And now, you’ve got other people who can help you better than I can. I mean for fuck’s sake; I can’t even fill the role of comic relief anymore with that stupid fireball fuck around. I’m completely useless to you, and honestly, I’m just waiting for you to realise it and get rid of me.”

I looked at him as he looked away, still refusing to meet my gaze. He took a long drag of his bamboo pipe and blew the smoke out into the pleasant night breeze.

“Yeah…” I began in a whimsical tone. “I guess you are pretty useless.” His shoulders dropped and he finally turned to face me, I don’t think he expected me to be so blunt about it. His big eyes looked up at me, shimmering, even in the dark.

“… But only a sociopath chooses his friends based on how useful they are to him. You’re not just a tool to be used up and thrown away Panda, you’re my friend… and honestly, I’m not the brightest bulb in the lamp, I could use some sagely advice from time to time.”

I smiled warmly at him and placed my hand on his soft shoulder. He shook his head slightly and let out a slight chuckle.

“You’re a real asshole, kid, you know that?” He said, taking another drag and blowing the smoke in my direction.

“I never claimed to be anything else mate.”