We sat in silence for a while after Sally left, sulkily nursing our drinks. This weird little team of ours desperately needed to improve and we all knew it.

A small part of me swelled with pride as I was the only one who wasn’t made out to be completely incompetent. Still, though, I knew my own weaknesses better than anyone and I was determined to beat them.

I needed to get strong enough to protect my wife and kid, strong enough to find a way to bring them to Celestia. That wasn’t going to happen any time soon if I didn’t get better and increase my level.

Time to channel my inner Goku. I thought, silently wishing that levelling up was as easy as the 80’s training montages made it out to be.

After a short while, Reggie stood up and bade us good night. Jamie hurried after him like a lost puppy. I wondered what their relationship was. They obviously knew each other prior to this exam… and that Jake kid. Childhood friends maybe?

It didn’t matter. They needed to shape up most of all. Bell had the tactical awareness of an overzealous toddler, but at least she was powerful. The other two were the weakest link.

Starting tomorrow, I’d have to put some work into helping them improve. I’d need backup to fight a real-life dragon. A water mage and healer duo could be pretty useful components in a difficult battle like that.

They just needed to be better.

Panda nudged me from my reverie and nodded towards Bell who was staring absently into her glass. She sloshed the sparkling liquid back and forth and gazed into it like she was in a trance.

I realised what Panda meant.

This was my chance to talk to her in private. She was an outworlder like me, she understood cultural references from Earth, and I needed to know more.

“Bell,” I said suddenly and her neck snapped up towards me, startled. “We need to talk.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” She replied sarcastically with faux sadness and a trembling lip. “You could have at least taken me to a nicer place to do it. I mean, the drinks here are nice but there’s not even a food menu.”

“Where are you from?” I asked, ignoring her inability to take anything seriously.

“Oh, you want my supervillain back story.” She said, mimicking a tone of realisation. “Well I used to work in Gotham City as a psychiatrist until one day I met this guy in clown make up-”

“I’m being serious.” I interrupted, raising my voice in irritation. “We’re both outworlders, what happened to you, how did you get here?”

What I really wanted to know was if she’d met any other outworlders. I knew it was unlikely, but if there was any chance she’d met Layla…

“Well let’s see.” She began, holding her forefinger to her chin. “I woke up, ate a banana for breakfast, played Baldur’s Gate 3 for a little bit, then I went for a walk in the jungle, got a surprise tattoo, learnt to cast fireball – the best spell – killed a bunch of monsters, a few other things happened and now I’m here. That’s my alibi officer, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

“Did you meet any other outworlders?” I asked carefully. I didn’t want to seem too eager to hear her answer. Bell seemed well-meaning, but she also had an annoying habit of… well, it wasn’t a habit as such as her personality. She had an annoying personality.

“Nope, you’re my first.” She replied chirpily, then she lowered her voice and cupped her hands around her mouth and whispered: “That makes us soul mates.”

Damn. I knew it was unlikely, honestly, it was a good thing. The idea of Layla being here was scary. Still, though, a part of me was a little sad that Bell hadn’t run into her.

How ridiculous is that? I mean what are the odds anyway? Out of eight billion people on earth, only ten thousand of us came here. Not to mention that they were spread out across the globe.

“How about you?” Bell asked sweetly. “Am I your first too?”

Her phrasing sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine.

“No, there was this guy called Brad,” I answered and then trailed off. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell her what happened.

“There’s always some guy called Brad.” She said, shaking her head slightly. “Let me guess, he said you were the only one for him and then one day you came home to find him shacked up with that bitch Samantha from work.”

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“No…” I said, “Why, did that happen to you?”

“No, why do you ask?” She replied shifting her tone back to a sweet innocence.

I honestly didn’t know how to take this girl. She was so odd. She didn’t take anything seriously and it was almost impossible to have a conversation with her.

That being said, she was strong and she was from Earth. She also seemed good-natured and a part of me enjoyed having someone like that around.

“So,” she continued. “What happened with your Brad?”

I wasn’t sure if I should tell her but on a whimsical leap of faith, I decided to do it anyway.

“Not long after I arrived here I was captured by cultists. Brad was in prison with me. I managed to kill a guard by throwing him into a vat of acid but Brad got hit with the splashback and died.” I said quickly.

I purposely omitted the part about adsorbing his Celestial Map tattoo. That was dangerous knowledge to share.

“There are so many jokes I could make from how you phrased that.” She replied, stifling a laugh. “So I’ll just point out the most obvious thing. Throwing someone into a vat of acid is how you turn them into a supervillain. Don’t do it again.” She said, waggling a finger about like a parent scolding a naughty child. “Also, death by splashback.” She giggled.

“She’s starting to sound like the system,” Panda muttered next to me.

“It doesn’t bother you that I killed someone innocent?” I asked, lowering my voice.

“If people actually thought collateral damage was a bad thing Obama wouldn’t have gotten a second term.” She replied. “Sometimes innocents die in the pursuit of justice… or in your case, survival. I can’t judge you for fighting for your life. That’d be like judging… well, Obama and that guy was great.”

I was a little concerned with how easily she condoned drone strikes accidentally killing civilians, but she seemed sincere for once and I was relieved she didn’t think I was a bad person.

“Thanks…” I offered, not really knowing how to respond to that.

“No problem,” she said. “And thank you for putting up with me. I know I’m not always the easiest person to get along with and well… thanks.” She looked away and I was so shocked at the lack of weirdness in her statement that I stared dumbfounded at her for longer than was socially acceptable.

“I’m going out for a smoke,” Panda said quietly, getting up from the table.

“Since when do you go outdoors to smoke?” I asked teasingly.

He pointed at a sign on the wall. I focused on it and the odd language translated into English with help from my language skill: Speak English Damnit. It said: No Smoking.

Panda left the room and I looked after him. He’d never cared about no smoking signs before. The little guy had literally sat on the reception desk at Adventure Society smoking for an hour whilst I filled in a report.

Something had been off with him since we’d started the exam. My stomach sank as I thought back to our previous quest where I’d ripped an orc’s soul out with my mind.

I really hoped he wasn’t upset with me about that. He’d seemed ok at the time, but maybe it was bothering him. I swallowed hard and started to get up to go talk to him when Bell spoke again.

“I think teamwork is going to be the key to beating this dragon.” She mused. I couldn’t tell if she was talking to me or thinking aloud, but I decided to remain seated all the same.

“I agree,” I replied and she looked up at me with those big eyes of hers as I continued. “If we can get everyone working together then we might have a chance. The team is pretty well balanced, we just need to learn to work together as a unit.”

“Exactly.” She smiled. “I wonder if there’s an escape room we can book in town, or maybe we could do trust fall exercises?”

Adventure Society was a pretty corporate place, but trust falls and escape rooms weren’t really what I had in mind.

“We can work on it tomorrow.” I yawned. “For now we should probably get some sleep. Oh, and just so you know, outworlders are pretty much an urban legend in Celestia. Only the more powerful people know that we really exist. So keep it to yourself, it’s safer that way.”

“Oh, I know.” She said casually. “You’re the only person who knows I’m an outworlder. I’m real good at secrets.” She winked and then stood up, leaving for the rooms in the back.

“How is a blabbermouth like her better at keeping secrets than I am?” I complained quietly to myself.

Both Director Lucas and Sally had discovered my real identity in my first few days of being in Celestia. How had Bell kept it a secret from Lucas?

“Wizard fuckery, it’s got to be wizard fuckery.” I mumbled.

There was no other explanation. Damn, this world and the system’s need to deny me a mana stat. The damned thing probably thought it was funny. I bet it was laughing to itself right now in ones and zeros, or whatever code system’s thought in.

Thinking about it, I don’t even know what the system is. I thought. Is it an AI, or a magical entity? Is it even alive? It certainly has a personality but surely it’s not just some guy sitting at a magic computer and running the entire world.

My thoughts spiralled further down that rabbit hole for a little while until Panda roused me by re-entering the inn.

“Oh good, she’s gone.” He said, pulling up a cushion next to me. “A few sandwiches short of a picnic that one.”

I chuckled and turned to him. He seemed a little better, but that annoying inner voice that nags at you to do the right thing kept pressing on my cortex, so I asked him.

“She definitely is.” I took a deep breath and swallowed. “Panda, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, kid. I mean my fur’s a little foisty but I can shower before bed.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been acting a little odd since we started the exam?”

“I said I’m fine.” He replied shortly. “Go get some sleep kid, you’ve got a long day ahead of you.”

He got up and headed into the back of the inn and I felt my stomach tumble as I looked after him. He was definitely not alright, but whatever it was, he didn’t want to share.

I finished my drink, finally, and went looking for my room. He might have been a bit pissy about it, but Panda was right. I did have a big day tomorrow. I had a team to train, myself to train and probably a whole bunch of monsters to kill.

On Wednesdays, we level up.