After a few moments of lamenting my loss of hair, I moved on. Hair grows back, and for all I knew I’d have a full head of it before the end of the quest.
I summoned the only other clothing I had. The spare cultist robe I’d looted from the second cultist I killed, and the cock sock.
So, in a matter of minutes I’d gone from a well-dressed adventurer to one who looked like an eccentric pervert… again.
At least I’d be able to buy some more clothes when I returned to the surface. I was at the halfway point of the sewer. The hard part was over.
I still had one thing to do before I finished the circuit though. The most exciting part of any hard battle.
The notifications.
You have defeated Slime Queen (lvl 40)
Bonus experience awarded due to level disparity.
Congratulations! You have reached level 33.
The slime was a fair few levels above me. It wasn’t as high levelled as Geralt but then again, he would have butchered me with ease.
Gaining a level was awesome. I wondered if I was already close after the 10,000 slime’s I’d killed. I guess it didn’t matter, a level was a level after all no matter how I came by it.
I continued reading the notifications.
*WARNING*
Highly condensed natural energy has formed inside you. This could result in death.
Notification ignored.
*WARNING*
You have forcefully overfilled your stamina. If you do not cease this action you may die.
Notification ignored.
*WARNING*
Overloading your stamina has caused your HP to rapidly decline. Ignoring this notification may result in immediate death.
Notification ignored.
*WARNING*
Despite my constant warnings, you are still overloading your stamina.
Death is imminent.
The strength of your soul has cured the symptom: imminent death.
Your stamina has been expanded.
Your soul has strengthened.
“Fuck.” I practically whispered as I read the warning messages.
It seemed that when I condensed the energy during meditation to kickstart my stamina core, I’d nearly died. How strong must my soul be to break the system like that?
Was it a fluke, or did I have some kind of weird soul power? Also, what did it mean by expanding my stamina.
You have gained a new title:
Audacious Soul Expander
Few who walk the path of forceful expansion survive. Even fewer have the audacity to do it at such a low level.
You forcefully expanded your stamina and lived to tell the tale. You know that’s quite literally spitting in my metaphorical system face.
I’ll let it go this one time, but if you try it again you will die. Let this title serve as a reminder and warning not to fuck with the system.
+10% overall stamina
*This bonus is calculated after percentages gained through items*
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
I was at a loss for words. I’d gained my first title and I got it through meditation. I didn’t even realise I could use my soul to expand my stamina.
The whole situation was mind boggling. By all rights, I probably should have died. Yet somehow I survived and got rewarded for it.
A further 10% was huge and it was calculated last. That meant it stacked with the 5% I already had from my Longbow of the Giant Goblin. I needed to make sure I got it repaired as soon as I got back to the surface.
I quickly checked my stats and saw the huge leap in stamina. Maths wasn’t my strongest suit, but from what I could tell the 10% was calculated after the 5% from the bow was added. It was like compounding interest but for stats.
One day, that was going to be huge.
I wondered if my passive Usurper skill was the reason I was still alive. It said that it increased the strength of my soul.
Was that why I was still alive? I couldn’t know for sure. Maybe I was just naturally gifted in that department.
The man with the well-endowed soul. Sounds like a movie, though not a very good one. I thought, quietly grinning at my good fortune.
Still, I would have to be an idiot to try it again. The system made it pretty clear that it would kill me if I did.
Or at least, I couldn’t try it again for a while. Who knew how powerful I’d get if I broke through the level cap.
From all accounts those guys were like gods. Maybe then I could give it another go. For now though, that was a distant dream for the future.
I was happy to take the money and run, proverbially speaking. Speaking of the system, I probably needed to let it know I wasn’t trying to fuck with it.
It might be an asshole, but it was obviously the supreme power in these parts and I didn’t wanna get on its bad side. Including the incident with Stalin’s Stylish Socks I’d already pissed it off twice in one day.
“Message received. Sorry about that, won’t happen again.” I said, facing the ceiling.
I was glad there wasn’t anyone around. With my cock sock and robe coupled with my tendency to talk to the sky, I was basically screaming this guy is a lunatic to anyone nearby.
That was the last notification. Overall I was over the moon with the outcome, if a little terrified that I might accidentally get myself killed by meditating.
Who would have thought it. Meditation: the silent killer.
After giving myself a moment to calm down and taking stock of my inventory. I set out once more to clear the sewers and get back to the ladder.
However, I had no weapons.
My bow was broken, my dagger had disintegrated. I guess I’d have to fight like a DnD monk… or improvise something.
Speaking of my dagger. I was surprised the system didn’t give me some kind of notification for the attack I’d used.
I’d basically used Power Shot on a dagger.
It was a super weak version of it, but it was still the same principle. I wondered why it let that slide. Was it normal for people to do weird things without a skill for it?
Then again the green glow was pretty faint. Perhaps I’d imagined it. Maybe I simply charged up the attack and used a lot more strength than normal.
Who knew. I’d definitely need to experiment with it if I wanted to find out. Though for that I’d need a new dagger.
I walked for quite a while before I came across the next gaggle of slimes. There didn’t seem to be as many this time as there had been before.
Had taking out the queen dwindled their numbers?
Maybe I’d just taken the path of most resistance to get to her. Either way, I needed to take them all out if I wanted to complete the quest.
The closest one to me was on the floor, so I stepped on it. It smushed into the ground with a nasty squelch and covered my foot in blue goop.
It died easily, like they all did. Though I wasn’t keen on being covered in slime goop for every kill.
Also, how exactly was I supposed to step on the ceiling slimes?
I had a mini-lightbulb moment and pulled an arrow from my Quiver of the Infinite. As I thought, I didn’t need a bow to stab something with it.
It likely wouldn’t be very effective against a well levelled foe. But these slimes were all weak as shit. So, I walked under the ceiling slimes and stabbed them one by one as I went.
I quickly got covered from head to toe in slimy gelatine goop but I stopped caring after a while and even began stepping on the floor slimes again.
I quickly fell back into the monotonous loop of killing slimes, meditating to recover, and repeating.
It felt like it took less time to reach the original ladder, but it was likely still days. It was definitely a slog to reach the end.
As my HUD map of the sewer finally filled in fully. I reached my original ladder. One, final slime was sat gently wobbling in front of it.
I stood on it, it smushed and I let out a loud cheer as the quest notification appeared on my HUD.
Finally.
Quest Complete!
Up Shit’s Creek
There has been reports of a slime infestation in the sewers under Havar. Investigate the matter and exterminate them.
You have entered the sewer system and come across some slimes. Extermination time me thinks.
You have discovered the lair of the Slime Queen, is she the source of the infestation?
You have defeated the Slime Queen and stopped the infestation.
You have eliminated the final slime.
Objectives:
Exterminate all the sewer slimes 1/1
Find the source of the slimes and deal with it 1/1
Reward: 500 gold.
*Speak to the Adventure Society to claim your reward. Reward payable upon the successful completion of the above objectives*
I almost jumped for joy as I read through the quest notification. It had updated as I completed various parts of the quest just like last time.
It was like a quest log from a game. Maybe that was in case I started a quest and then got side tracked. Were side quests a thing in this place?
I’d have to go to the Adventure Society to claim my 500 gold reward. Though that didn’t seem like much compared to the gold I’d earned from my blessing.
I’d have to thank Chrysus next time I saw him.
Actually, on second thought. That guy was an asshole so maybe not.
***
Frank wandered around the old maintenance building, just like he did every day.
He was old enough to retire, but he honestly didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he didn’t work. Working for the Department of Sanitation and Maintenance wasn’t a bad gig anyway.
He’d spent his twilight years working for them and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Mostly he just maintained the pipes which led to the sewer system. Every now and then he’d have to traverse the sewers himself to fix a leak, but it was no trouble.
Today wasn’t one of those days.
Today was an average, steal a wage kind of day where he’d do very little and spend most of his time pottering around the old building.
Or at least, it was supposed to be one of those days.
Frank heard a loud banging sound coming from the next room over.
What could that be? Has one of those damned pipes broken again? He thought with an internal sigh as he shuffled his way into the room.
BANG, BANG, BANG.
He heard as he entered the room. It seemed to be coming from the sewer hatch.
Had those damned slimes mutated? He wasn’t sure what he’d do if that was the case. Of course, there was always the chance it was that adventurer he’d let in.
No, it couldn’t be. He was long dead. He’d been in there an entire month, to the day. It was obvious he’d been killed.
No one could survive in that stench for that long with only a disposable purification mask. The smell was poisonous.
It was only a minor poison sure, but a whole month? No way.
BANG, BANG, BANG.
“Hold your horses I’m coming!” Frank yelled. “Damned slimes making an old man rush around.” He muttered to himself, because a mutated slime was the only explanation, he was sure of it.
He hesitated as he bent down to open the hatch. Should he really let this mutated slime lose on the city?
BANG, BANG, BANG.
If letting it loose got it to shut the hell up, it’d be worth it. Besides, it was his job to deal with this kind of stuff. If he left it there before seeing it, it’d be dereliction of duty. He opened the hatch and took a few steps back.
The stench was particularly bad today. He could smell it even through his government issued odour eliminator.
He readied himself for the mutated slime that would no doubt climb out. However, it was no slime.
He had released something much more sinister. A thing more heinous than his small mind could have ever thought possible: a hairless pervert.
The bald man crawled out of the sewer covered in slime and shit. Worse, he was wearing a dirty sock over his penis and a tattered red cape.
“Good to see you again old man.” The pervert said.
Frank fainted.