Slowly, and with a lot of groaning, the hundreds of slaughtered townsfolk rose from the floor: a procession of the undead.

I gazed in horrified bewilderment at Clive as his grey, mummified skin shrank before my eyes, hugging his bones like it was a size too small. In contrast, his golden robes hung off him and, thanks to my dragon’s eye, I could see the vibrant, sickly, purple glow which surrounded his visage.

The power radiated from him.

Focusing on his undead face, a system notification popped up in my HUD.

You have discovered a new monster:

Elder Lich

Have you ever wondered what happens when a necromancer casts a resurrection spell on himself with his dying breath?

This… this is what happens.

When a powerful caster has reached the level cap, his soul transforms, taking on the properties of his most prominent spell casting ability.

In the case of the necromancer, this can have deadly consequences.

There are few known ways to permanently kill an Elder Lich. The first is to destroy them so thoroughly that there is no vessel to harbour the revived soul. The second is to completely drain their mana pool before killing them.

Neither are easy, especially at your level.

Oh and watch out, if you die your corpse will likely be defiled… necro-style.

“Well shit,” I muttered as I finished reading the unusually helpful description.

Perhaps the system was feeling bad about the whole situation considering it was all its fault. I mean, who lets their underlings get to this level of unhinged?

“Kaleb!” Panda screamed as Clive moved to grab him with a bony, grey hand. “Help!”

Without thinking I launched my dagger from across the room, knocking the hand away. Clive shot me a deadpan glare as he wiped a slither of blood from his grazed skin.

The shallow cut bubbled momentarily but he shrugged it off like it was nothing. I guess the system wasn’t lying about the Elder Lich reaching the level cap.

More worryingly, my HP didn’t increase as it should have from my acid dhampir weapons skill. Maybe undead didn’t have HP. That was a chilling prospect.

“Go forth my flock,” he began, gesticulating wildly with his skeletal arms, “and rid our town of these disgusting infidel.”

With accenting groans, the zombie hoard began to shuffle towards us. The man closest to me, who had tried to sell me juice earlier today, picked up his severed arm from the floor and swung wildly at me.

I rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the impromptu club as it smacked the floor with a wet squelch that turned my stomach.

A fireball shot through the air, impacting the zombie and throwing him backwards. His skin alighted and the smell of burning flesh and hair stung my nostrils.

“Come on Kaleb,” Bell shouted from across the room as she shot two smaller fireballs at the undead closing in on her, “get your head in the game, that one was ‘armless.”

“Sorry dad,” I muttered as I stumbled to my feet, slashing at the knee tendons of a nearby zombie as I went.

The skin fell off like rotted meat and the knee joint clinked to the floor as the undead in the golden bikini toppled over.

Meanwhile, Panda waddled and staggered through the legs of the undead as he made his way towards me. They completely ignored him, but Clive did not.

The angry son of a lich barged his way through his undead minions, launching them like a bull in a china shop as he chased after the screaming familiar.

“Get back here!” he yelled, “the sacrifice must be made tonight, so it has been written, so it shall be done.”

Clive was getting worryingly close to Panda, though the little bear was doing well to avoid his bony clutches. I slashed at two more undead, one of them lost his head to my blade… literally.

My attacks didn’t stop them for long though. The decapitated undead dropped to his knees searching for his head in the way that Velma might search for her glasses in a Scooby Doo episode. It would have been comical if we weren’t fighting for our lives.

I forced my way through the zombies who were thankfully rather weak and found myself face to face with Clive. Panda ran through my legs and stepped behind me, using me as a shield to block his pursuer.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“Kaleb, what do I do?” He yelled in a panicked voice.

“Get to Bell and get the hell out of here, I’ll hold them off,” I replied without looking away from the cold, dead eyes of Clive the Elder Lich.

“So boy,” Clive spat at me as our eyes remained locked, “do you still deny the power of the almighty?”

“I never denied the system’s power,” I replied as we began slowly circling each other, the undead hoard crowding in all around to form a circle of rotting, charred or acid burned flesh. “I just don’t think it’s a god.”

“You close your eyes to the divine,” he yelled, lifting his arms dramatically. “I have been gifted eternal life, I am a master of death, able to pass on my blessing to my flock. If that is not divine then I don’t know what is.”

“You look like my Grandad’s ball sack, and he’s been dead for twenty years,” I replied calmly, still keeping my eyes glued to him. “Not to mention that these moving cadavers are not alive, they’re just flesh puppets you control with your magic. There’s nothing living within them anymore, they can’t even speak.”

“Speech is not indicative of life you closed minded fool!” Clive shouted, seemingly ignoring my insult, “animals do not speak yet they are undoubtably alive.”

“Animals can’t pick up their own severed heads and reattach them to their rotted neck flesh!” I shouted, dashing forward and swiping with my dagger.

Clive dodged nimbly and swatted my hand away with ease as I stumbled forward into the front row of the hoard. I was shoved hard and found myself back in the ring, still facing Clive.

“So what if they lack beauty?” Clive responded, “those with leprosy are still alive and their flesh too, rots and looks unpleasant. Your bigotry is showing my dear boy.”

“Why are you even trying to convince me of any of this?” I asked incredulously.

Of course, I knew why I was humouring him. Whilst this ridiculous conversation was going on, Panda and Bell would have time to escape. I just needed to think of a way to get out of here myself.

“I’m a theologist, it’s what we do,” the lich shrugged matter-of-factly, “but if you’d rather get this over with, I can just as easily kill you.”

My dragon’s eye burned in my eye socket as Clive released a powerful wave of energy. Bright, violet light fired out of his body, covering him in a deep purple hue as it settled. He grinned a toothy smile and raised his fists like a boxer.

Looking at me through his raised hands, he winked and held out of a single finger, motioning me to come hither.

I guess it’s go time, I thought.

Dismissing my dagger, I summoned my bow and nocked an arrow. I had gotten pretty quick at channelling a soul shot and hoped to catch him off guard with a powerful attack.

If he truly was a gold ranker then I had no chance of beating him one on one. The best I could hope for was a good distraction so I could escape and regroup with the others.

As I pulled back the drawstring and began adding green soul energy into the arrow, Clive disappeared.

“Too slow,” he said jovially as I felt a powerful gust of wind followed by a pain in my abdomen so sudden that it caused my eyes to black out for a moment.

I flew up towards the ceiling and Clive jumped up with me.

“Just so you know, I’m a mage, and hand to hand combat isn’t even my strong suit,” he said before swatting at my upper back like a one might bounce a basketball.

I was hurled back to the ground, smashing into the stone floor as chunks of grey pieces broke from the ground below me and covered me in a thin film of dust.

The wind was knocked from my lungs and my health bar dropped to less than a quarter. I barely had time to slam on a HP potion before I was launched through the air once again by a devastating kick.

How was he so fast? I didn’t even have time to think between his pummelling. Was this the power of a gold ranker? I didn’t stand a chance. I needed to get out of the cathedral, and fast, before he killed me.

“How is it that one so weak dares to question the divine?” Clive called out, spittle flying from his tight lips.

His aura pulsed out and somehow I knew that his next attack would be the end of me if I didn’t act fast. Jumping up from the floor I ran as fast as I could towards the entrance of the cathedral and resummoned my one remaining dagger.

Clive’s eyes locked onto me and the purple hue emanating from his body shone brighter and brighter. I had an idea, but I wasn’t sure it was something I wanted to do.

Either way, as Clive dropped into a sprinter’s pose, I knew that it was the only chance I had to survive this blow.

Dipping into my inventory, I withdrew an item I’d received a little while ago and shoved it into my mouth.

Cursed Mystery Seed:

This seed is a consumable item with a one-time use. You probably shouldn’t use it unless you’re in a dire straight. It might save your life, but there will be a cost.

The taste was revolting.

Mango… watermelon and the smell of a week-old corpse all filled my mouth in a circling, fragrant taste that had me swallowing hard and trying not to vomit.

Clive charged, and the world slowed down before me as a notification popped up in my HUD.

You have consumed an item:

Cursed Mystery Seed.

For the next ten seconds your health pool will double and you will be nearly impervious to mana-based attacks.

In return, you will be unable to heal yourself in any way for an hour after the effects wear off.

Oh fuck, I thought as I read the description.

Ten seconds was not a very long time, but an hour of no healing, mid battle, well that could be deadly.

Mid thought, time resumed, Clive struck me and before I even had the chance to gasp I was flying through the air.

You have been struck by a Jade level magical attack

Magical damage negated

My health dropped significantly, but thanks to the seed’s abilities I was still breathing and still had more than my usual maximum HP.

I didn’t know what a jade level magical attack was, but as I saw the cathedral explode behind me as I continued to soar through the open doors and into the street, I was pretty damn relieved that I’d been able to negate it.

I landed like a skipping stone, bouncing three times along the rough cobbled street before coming to an abrupt halt.

Rolling onto my front, I coughed so hard I thought I was about to lose a lung, before looking up at a bewildered Panda.

“How in the world did you escape?” He asked, “we were just about to come back to get you.”

“It’s a good job you didn’t,” I coughed, rising shakily to my feet, “that lich is pissed.”

“We managed to get through to Sally,” Panda cut in urgently, “she’s almost got the ship in sailing condition but we’ll have to hurry.”

“She hates sailing,” I replied dumbly.

BOOM.

Panda and I both turned in the direction of the cathedral. Its beautiful stone walls crumbled inwards as fire and purple aura exploded outwards.

Zombies poured out, running frantically in our general direction. Floating ominously above them was Clive.

“You won’t leave this island alive!” He screamed, “the prophet will be sacrificed… tonight!”

Undead groaned avidly as they ran with reckless abandon through the cobbled streets.

*WARNING*

Cursed Mystery Seed effects have ended. You will be unable to heal for one hour.