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Soul Shot Skirmisher (A Weak To Strong Isekai LitRPG)
Chapter 33 -It’s Not Joking If Nothing You Say Is Funny

Chapter 33 -It’s Not Joking If Nothing You Say Is Funny

I gagged and gasped for breath that wouldn’t come as my windpipe was torn by the surprise arrow. I’d been careless. Turning away from my opponent before the kill notification came was a rookie error.

My health had taken a nosedive from the single hit, I had less than a quarter of my HP remaining. The fact that I was even alive after taking a hit like that was remarkable and was a testament to the power of stat points.

My HP was dwindling, lowering more and more by the second as the arrow stuck out of both sides of my throat. I bet I looked like Frankenstein’s monster.

I found my health potions in my inventory and clicked on one.

*WARNING*

You cannot use potions during a duel, don’t be a bad sport.

“Shit!” I shouted, or at least I tried to shout it. What actually came out of my mouth was more akin to angry gargling.

Beginning to panic I looked towards Giles. He was laid on his back and looking worse for wear. His breathing was laboured and far louder than normal. It sounded like bubbling water as he fought for breath through the acid which ravaged his chest cavity.

From the looks of things he’d literally pulled himself into a sit-up to fire off the shot and then fallen straight back down.

If my line of thinking was right, I’d have to outlast him in order to win the duel and survive. Once he died I could take a potion. So our little duel had become a life or death battle of wills.

I looked him over, seeing the pained expression on his face as the skin on his chest bubbled. It was disgusting and it looked like his skin was sinking, caving his chest in as the acid melted the bone.

It truly was a horrible way to die. I was glad it was my power and not his.

The pain in my neck was excruciating. I couldn’t breathe and if I swallowed I’d tear my flesh even more. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but as soon as you realise you can’t swallow, you really, really want to.

It’s like having a staring competition. People don’t realise how hard it is to not blink until they’re focusing on it.

That’s exactly what was happening to me, but with swallowing. I knew that if I allowed myself to swallow, my Adam’s apple would move up my neck, bringing the lodged arrow with it and tearing into even more of my throat.

I continued staring at Giles as I struggled with my baser urges to swallow. Perhaps I could use psychological warfare to make him die faster.

The idea was simple: he was on the ground suffering whilst I stood up, straight faced.

I stared at him, putting on my best bored look, as I folded my arms. He’d never know the excruciating pain and internal struggle I was going through. Not if I kept a straight face.

He, on the other hand, looked dreadful. He could barely keep his eyes open as the acid melting his chest cavity began spreading to other areas.

Pretty soon he’d be a pile of goo, staining the floor of the banquet hall. I just needed to hold out long enough for him to die in the process.

My health continued to drop, but it was much slower than I’d expected. The power of stats was really something. Back on earth I doubted anyone could survive an arrow to the gullet.

We stared at each other for a while, the entire hallway was deathly silent. I wondered if they understood the intensity of the battle of wills we were having.

My HP eventually dropped down to 3/271 and I struggled to stay on my feet. I stared at Giles the entire time with a bored expression and crossed arms, but internally, I knew I was dying.

I didn’t have long left.

But he looked worse. After what felt like the world’s longest staring match, Giles finally lost the ability to keep his head up and dropped to the floor. A few seconds later a notification popped up and I immediately hammered down on a health potion.

My HP shot up and the arrow got pushed out the side of my throat. It was an awful experience as it slowly moved through my gullet and dropped away. Choking me both literally, and because of the excruciating pain it caused, the entire time.

Sally and Panda rushed towards me as I gasped for breath and put my hands to my neck, feeling around the wounded area. It was like I had a phantom arrow lodged in my throat. It was gone, but I could still feel it like it was really there.

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

“You’re a reckless fool, I should have never allowed you to duel that guy!” Sally shouted, slapping me on the back of the head like I was a badly trained dog.

“I knew you’d win.” Panda said cooly, patting me on the lower back.

Sally shook her head and turned away, obviously concerned for me. I felt bad, but I also felt great. I’d really shown that Giles prick who was boss.

I took a breath and wondered if I even needed to breathe anymore. I’d been unable to for most of the duel, though my perception of time was likely distorted because of the pain. For all I knew the whole ordeal could have only taken a minute.

It felt like a lot longer than that to me though.

Another notification popped up and I decided to read through them.

Opponent: [Goblin Giles] has been defeated. You have won the duel, congratulations!

Duel rules have now ended and HUD functions will return to normal.

You have defeated Goblin Giles (lvl 30)

Bonus experience awarded due to rank disparity.

It seemed that Giles had only been a few ranks higher than me. Despite killing him solo, I didn’t gain a single level.

Either he was so weak I barely got any experience, or the experience threshold was getting higher. I voted for the latter. Giles wasn’t exactly a strong opponent, but he was a good shot and he lasted a while against my acid.

Tenacious little fucker.

New Achievement!

Shot Through the Heart

… And you’re to blame, you gave his shirt… a blood stain.

You won a duel with a single shot to the heart. Shame you’re too weak to have pierced it, but I guess melting a guy’s skin with acid is also an acceptable way to win.

Reward: Duellist’s Loot box

I was pretty sure the system didn’t have the legal rights to that song, but I doubted it cared about getting sued. It was seemingly all powerful after all.

The promise of a new loot box was exciting, I hoped it’d be something good.

I still had two more notifications to read through so I continued opening them.

You have unlocked a new personal skill:

Minor Poison Resistance

After being affected by the fumes of wild takka berries, you did something reckless and survived.

Minor resistance against poisons.

After reading the notification I felt my head start to clear. Like there had been a fog inside my skull and I’d only just realised it was there.

It was a bit like sobering up on the way home from a night out, but a little more surreal and a lot less vomit inducing.

As the fog cleared I couldn’t remember why I’d wanted to fight Giles in the first place. I remembered that something about him had rubbed me the wrong way, but I couldn’t remember what that something was.

It was a strange feeling, akin to memory loss, but not quite.

Regardless, I never wanted to lose control of myself like that again. It’d worked out this time, but even a cat only had nine lives.

Quest Updated!

The Goblin King Coronation

Every century a new goblin king is chosen. He who is destined to unite the clans and conquer the world – or so ancient goblin lore says.

Crash the party, kill the king, and get to the Winchester for a nice cold pint whilst you wait for it all to blow over.

After making your way to the mountain on the Forbidden Isles, you managed to gain admission into the Goblin King Ball.

Whilst there, you goaded Giles, a goblin king candidate, into challenging you to a duel where you killed him in full view of his clan and the other attendees.

Objectives:

Stop the coronation 0/1

Kill throne candidates 1/4

Reward: A New Active Skill

A quest update? It was the first time I’d seen one of those. It seemed that Giles was a candidate, so taking him out could only have been considered a good thing.

The quest description had also updated to include my duel, that was certainly new.

As I opened it, I exchanged a look with Panda.

“Who’d have thought he was one of them.” He said quietly. The noise and chatter from the goblins had sprung back up the moment Giles had died. “I guess Sally will have to give you a piece of the reward now, you’ve done a quarter of the quest by yourself.”

“I don’t reward reckless behaviour, even if you were under the influence.” Sally said indignantly, turning back towards us.

I chuckled and apologised and she grunted.

There was still one thing left to do before the duel could truly be over. It was looting time!

I walked towards the mostly melted corpse of Giles; the other three goblins were stood around him.

“Well that’s one less contender. I wonder if I can convince the kid to kill the rest of you for me.” Gerald chuckled.

“Giles would have died first anyway, look at him. He’s all gristle and bone.” The fat goblin added.

They looked up at me as I walked towards them.

“You sure you don’t want to enter the competition yourself?” The fat goblin asked, a slight smirk on his lips.

“Be quiet Gerad, you know as well as I do that only the strongest in each tribe can participate. The big one is clearly stronger than he is.” Gerald said, shaking his head.

“Oh will you stop being such a fucking stick in the mud. I was just having a little joke with the boy.”

“Why are you always like this Gerad. It’s not joking if nothing you say is funny!”

The two continued bickering back and forth like an old married couple and I had to raise my voice a few times to get them to stop.

“Oi!” I shouted, louder than I’d meant to, and the two stopped and turned towards me with stunned expressions. “I’m just here to get my loot, so if you’d kindly move out of the way I’ll take it and be on my way. Then you can go back to bickering or flirting or whatever that was just now.”

“Loot? You mean to desecrate Gile’s remains?” Gerald asked with a shocked expression on his face.

“Loot?” A deep voice rang out from behind me. “Goblins can’t loot bodies, everybody knows that. Looting abilities are a perk of adventurers and the higher races.” It said and I turned on my heels panickily.

The big, muscular goblin who had officiated the duel stood in front of me with a predatory grin plastered onto his face.