I watched in awe as Bell approached the rock and her cute, innocent face contorted into that of a psychotic battle junkie.

She raised her hand towards the dhur and grinned maliciously as she shouted: “Fireball!”

A magnificent ball of red and orange flame burst from her hand and shot into the dhur’s body. I didn’t even know that massive rocks could catch fire, but apparently they can.

The fireball spell kicked off some insane heat. It felt like I was standing next to an inferno. The heat was so hot it was painful to stand near it and I wasn’t even that close.

It must have been agonising for the poor dhur she threw it at.

The flames sputtered and licked at the palm trees surrounding the dhur. I watched, frozen to my spot as the closest trees burst into flame.

Within seconds those flames began to spread and Reggie jumped backwards in panic. He was a stumpy, but well-built, dude. Not the type you’d expect to have a weak constitution. Though I guess they say never judge a book by its cover for a reason.

He was right to panic though. In this arid climate, a forest fire could be deadly.

Whilst the trees continued to burn, the dhur’s fire went out and it began rolling slowly towards Bell. She grinned and fired three more fireballs in quick succession.

They did nothing.

The fireballs bounced off the living boulder as it spun towards her. It was like watching a Zamboni trying to crush a person. It moved so damn slowly.

Bell stood firm though, firing even more useless fireballs at the thing. She cackled like a witch as she went. I couldn’t see her eyes from where I was stood but I imagined them glowing with psychotic joy.

“Hey, Bell!” I shouted, unable to stand and watch any longer. “Try a water spell, rocks are weak to water… I think.”

She halted her barrage of fireballs and turned back to me for a moment. Her evil, battle junkie face had switched back to one of innocence in an instant.

“I don’t know any water spells.” She called sweetly.

“Ok… what spells do you know?” I shouted back.

“Fireball.”

I stared at her and the world seemed to stop as I blinked a few times, dumbfounded.

“You only know fireball?” I said slowly.

“Yeah, why would I need anything else? Fireball is awesome.” She smiled sweetly and then turned back around and fired off a few more ineffective fireballs at the dhur.

The dhur kept rolling towards her. Honestly, it was probably the least dangerous thing in the immediate vicinity.

The palm trees were much worse.

The fire was spreading, jumping from tree to tree like a monkey swinging through a cluster of… well… trees. The clearing was a blazing inferno and it felt like my skin might melt off my body at any moment.

I looked to Sally for some sort of guidance. However, she watched Bell silently with her arms folded. She obviously had no intention of helping.

Stupid steroid-test cat. I thought, doing my best Panda impression in my mind.

“Fuck this. I’m going in there.” I said, angrily barging past Reggie and his friend as they watched the inferno with slack jaws.

A fat lot of use these two clowns are. I thought scathingly.

I walked into the clearing with clenched fists and summoned my bow. I half expected Sally to stop me but she just stood there, leaning against the truck with folded arms and a flat expression.

I lifted my bow, nocked an arrow, and channelled Soul Shot the skill was quickly becoming my go-to move. Soul Shot allowed me to channel the energy of my soul into a single arrow, boosting its power dramatically.

Soul Shot (ancient)

Due to a complete lack of mana, you’ve realised the potential of the soul earlier than most. You have gained a deeper understanding of the soul through meditation.

As demonstrated already, you have unlocked the potential to infuse the power of your soul into certain attacks.

Who’d have ever thought meditation would be so useful? Next, you’ll be unlocking a skill for virtue-signalling monsters to death.

The amount of power used is directly proportional to the amount of stamina you’ve chosen to assign to the shot.

I charged the shot and my arrow was enveloped in an acid-green glow. It wasn’t lost on me that my soul’s colour was reflective of my class’s main skill.

I felt my arm ache as the power reached its climax and I fired the arrow into the side of the boulder.

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The arrow created a backblast of force as it exited my bow, almost blowing me off my feet and forcing a startled Bell to dodge to the side.

It embedded itself into the boulder in an instant and as it continued its slow roll towards us, it suddenly stopped.

The arrow that had gotten lodged in it was acting as a block to the sphere’s rolling ability. Or at least it did for about 0.3 seconds before the arrow shaft broke and the dhur continued onwards.

Well, shit.

On the upside, the tiny hole where the arrow had pierced was glowing a sickly green colour and small veins were growing from it.

Acid should affect pretty much anything. I mean it’s acid. It melts things. Why should a big living rock be any different right?

I fired off another arrow, without using Soul Shot this time and it chipped the dhur slightly. A minuscule green tinge was left as the arrow dropped to the ground.

Perfect! That means I just need to keep firing until the acid melts it.

“Hey!” Bell shouted from beside me. “Get your own rock monster! This one is mine.”

She almost sounded pouty, like a child whose parents refused to buy them a new toy. I stared back incredulously.

“I don’t think you can kill this thing on your own,” I said back after a long second of staring at her in disbelief. “It’s a fucking rock and you shoot fire. Not exactly a match made in heaven.”

She scoffed at me, looking slightly offended and then fired off another barrage of fireballs at the dhur which was still slowly advancing towards us.

I shrugged and charged another arrow with Soul Shot. I fired it to the same effect as the last one. The boulder was starting to chip slightly, which I took as a good sign. I had to take a few steps backwards though as it had finally gotten close enough to us to potentially do something.

As I slowly retreated, I continued firing a mixture of normal arrows and Soul Shot arrows until my stamina was practically depleted. Then I swigged a quick stamina potion and fired some more.

Then the dhur stopped. Bell and I ceased fire and watched it carefully. Was it over? Had we won?

No, no, definitely not that. I thought as the large boulder started to glow.

An earthy, yet ethereal, glow enveloped its body as the ground started to shake. I tensed up as a supreme amount of pressure started emanating from its cold, rock body.

A grating sound came from its spherical shape and bits of rock began to separate. Two, piercing brown eyes opened in the middle. They looked between Bell, who had sparks in her hands, and me, who had a bow. Those eyes did not look happy.

The grating sound continued and a large mouth appeared in the area where I’d fired my first arrow. It stretched the full width of the dhur, its teeth were all molars, perfect for grinding up prey like us.

It opened its mouth and began a rhythmic chomping which sounded like rocks smashing together, and then it continued its pursuit.

I fired an arrow into its mouth and it chomped straight through it, it wasn’t slowed in the slightest. It was a rocky Pacman that had just eaten a power pellet, and we were blue ghosts.

“Kill it!” Bell shouted, sparking flames into her hands like The Human Torch. “Kill it with fire!”

She began blasting fireballs again to no effect. They did seem to buffer it slightly though as it continued rolling towards us, chomping every time its new mouth completed a revolution.

I continued firing arrows at it, aiming for its eyes when I could. It was a weird evolutionary trait: having a face but moving by rolling. I almost felt bad for Rock Pacman as it slowly moved towards us.

Eventually, we’d retreated back to the truck and the dhur was beginning to chip quite badly, but it still didn’t stop its advance. More worryingly, thanks to Smokey The Bear and her fireballs, we were surrounded by an out-of-control forest fire.

I heard a scream and looked behind me to see a blazing loconut falling from a tree. It hit the floor and smashed open as blood and guts spilt out into the clearing.

The smell was vile.

Burning organs are not good for the nose, let me tell you.

We needed to put the fires out, but I had no way of doing it myself. As I kept firing, I had a brain wave and shouted behind me to Reggie and his friend whose name I hadn’t learned yet.

“Oi, Reggie!” I shouted. “Do either of you two know any water magic?”

“I don’t,” Reggie replied in his deep, romance audiobook narrator voice. “But Jamie does.”

I had to assume that Jamie was the other guy and not some rando Reggie knew back in Havar. Surely even he wasn’t that stupid.

“Yeah, I know a little bit, not much though.” A timid voice said from behind me.

“That’s better than nothing. Try to put the tree fires out and maybe blast some water at this fucking rock will ya?” I shouted back.

I shouldn’t have to tell these bozos to help out. They’re supposed to be adventurers, aren’t they? I thought scathingly as I fired off another shot.

Bell continued firing an excessive number of fireballs at the dhur. Honestly. Her mana count must have been insane.

Her face scared me as she fought. She had a huge ear-to-ear grin but it didn’t reach her eyes. They burned with a sadistic joy. It was unnerving, but not as unnerving as her rendition of Disco Inferno which she sang enthusiastically as she fired.

I fired another arrow into the dhur which was looking pretty bad now. Its outer layer was cracking badly. It was starting to look like the potholes on the street by my house – which is to say, it was starting to look like the potholes on every street across all of England.

Our country had a shit tonne of potholes.

I charged a miniature Soul Shot for my last arrow, aiming carefully for its eyes for the hundredth time that fight. I hadn’t managed to hit it yet since it kept rolling, but I was sure that the eyes were the weak spot.

My stamina was whittled down to almost nothing and I wouldn’t be able to fire another shot. I barely managed to put extra power into the shot as I fired. At the same time, Bell shot another fireball.

They both hit at pretty much the same time and through some combined force, luck or just the slow trundle of whittling down an enemy’s health, the dhur cracked in two and fell apart.

“Thank god for that.” I sighed, leaning back slightly, and dismissing my bow.

I couldn’t have fired another shot. My stamina was all but depleted. I felt tired all of a sudden but I turned to Bell anyway.

“Who only learns fireball?” I asked incredulously, placing my hands on my hips.

“Why would I need anything else?” She asked innocently, raising a finger to just below her lips. All signs of the battle junkie psycho had completely vanished.

“Oh, I don’t know… because fire doesn’t solve all problems?” I exclaimed. “Did you never play Pokémon growing up? Even kids learn that fire beats grass, grass beats water and water beats fire. It's super fucking basic.”

Of course, we were fighting a rock monster, but Charizard would have a hard time against Graveler in the game.

“Of course I did!” She said back in a slightly raised, but somehow still sweet, voice. “I chose Charmander and I made it so strong it could beat all the others, regardless of their type. Why would I raise a team of six mediocre Pokémon when I could raise one super strong one.”

I opened my mouth to argue back but then my brain ticked over for a moment and I stared at her open-mouthed.

She looked like she wanted to continue as well, but then she did the same thing and I shit you not, we both pointed at each other, at exactly the same time, with open mouths.

We were one person shy of that Spiderman meme on the internet.

I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t really say anything with Reggie and Jamie still around. This girl was from my world. She was one of the players.

I had so many questions.

“Will you two stop flirting in gibberish and help us?!” Panda shouted from near the truck.

I turned towards his voice, broken out of my momentary haze, and opened my mouth even wider – if that was possible.

A burning palm tree cracked and fell towards the truck, and everyone stood near it.