Dagger has advanced to lvl 5
Dagger has advanced to lvl 6
…
Dagger has advanced to lvl 9
Dagger advancing was a nice boost to my melee proficiency. I hadn’t used it much on this quest but it had been invaluable during the later stages of the fight.
I would have died long before Lucas had arrived without it. I really needed to invest some time into training with the dagger. I wondered if I could unlock a proper proficiency skill for it like with the bow.
More immediately, would I get a new skill at level 10? I had done with the bow skill.
I’d have to train up my dagger skill a little more to find out.
Having sifted through all of the skill, level and kill notifications, there was just one category left: achievements.
Here comes the passive aggression.
New Achievement:
Experience Thief
You are the worst kind of person. You waited until the last second and then finished off a monster that someone else had lowered the health on.
What a little bitch.
Do you know what gamers call people like you? They don’t call you at all because you’re a friendless, honourless, troll.
Reward: Little Bitch Loot Box
And there it is.
I was beginning to think that the system only awarded me these farcical achievements to insult me. It’s not like I was trying to steal experience, I was trying to save Sally’s life.
I wouldn’t even open them if it wasn’t for the promise of loot boxes. My last few had given me some good stuff. I guess it was worth the insults… kinda.
New Achievement:
Genocidal Maniac’s Apprentice
You singlehandedly wiped out over 35% of an entire population on the Forbidden Isle.
Following in the footsteps of Hafez Al-Assad, Vladimir Putin, and Joseph Kony, you’re well on the way to being a real piece of work.
Keep it up!
There’s nothing like a good slaughter to really beat back that crippling ED you obviously have.
Reward: Genocide Loot Box
I was at a loss for words. Not only had the system compared me to a bunch of war criminals, but it also thought I had ED!
I’d literally just gotten my wife pregnant not that long ago. I worked perfectly fine down there. Was I sexiest man of the year? Definitely not, but it didn’t have to call my manhood into question.
Panda burst out laughing after reading the achievement with me. I probably shouldn’t take it to heart. I knew the system was a dick.
After that battle though, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I really needed some sleep.
With all my notifications squared away, it was time to finally go to bed.
“I’d tell you to keep the hanky panky with Palm-ala Hand-erson to a minimum, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve got what it takes to please her anyway.” Panda said as I walked towards the cabin.
He laughed so hard at his own terrible joke that when I looked back to give him an admonishing gaze, he was literally rolling on the deck of the ship clutching his stomach.
“I hope you get fleas.” I said as I entered the interior of the ship, causing Panda to laugh even harder.
I still had the quest notification to open, but it could wait until the morning. It had promised a new active skill and on the off chance I got any say in what that was I wanted to be clear headed for it.
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***
Lucas laid Sally down gently in her captain’s cabin. It was a far cry from the tiny, single bedrooms he’d passed on his way through the ship’s interior.
It was surprisingly indulgent for a woman of her tastes. There was a double bed, a porthole window and even a dressing table.
He was most surprised by the last part considering she hardly wore clothes at all. As a Barbarian she gained defence bonuses for wearing less.
She was the walking personification of the proverb: less is more.
Her wound was quite deep, it was obvious she’d taken a serious slash from her opponent.
How did Kaleb manage to get her out of there? Lucas wondered as he examined the wound and applied a healing salve from his inventory.
Sally was no slouch, so if she’d taken this level of damage then the monster who did it must have been fearsome. How had a phase one outworlder managed to save her.
He felt the familiar presence of his god’s aura seep into his mind and, finishing up applying the salve, he reported in.
“The boy is safe. He did remarkably well, though I think he’d have been killed if I hadn’t arrived in time.” He said aloud, taking care to keep his voice low.
Good. I warned you that the Goblin King Coronation required more than a single silver ranker.
“You did, yet they did remarkably well. How did a phase one manage to save Sally, My Lord? She’s the strongest person in these parts… apart from me.”
I cannot provide a clear answer. I can only see glimmers of his soul. Without him holding my blessing, I can’t watch him omnipotently. I only managed to speak to him briefly this time in a dire moment.
However, a powerful enemy laid dead at his feet when I did.
“Of course My Lord, I shouldn’t have brought it up. He currently holds the blessing of the wealth god from what I understand.”
That is correct. That buffoon Chrysus beat me to the punch.
Lucas felt a surge of incalculable rage in his mind that wasn’t his own. He made a mistake in mentioning Chrysus. He knew full well the sordid history between the wealth god and his lord.
He regretted it as the immense power from his god’s aura coursed through his brain. It was like a migraine, apart from the nasty side effect of making his eyes bleed.
He pulled a handkerchief from his inventory and dabbed the blood from his face and eyes.
Keep an eye on the boy until he’s back in Havar. I have a quest you should give him before the exam.
“Yes, My Lord.” Lucas replied and he felt the aura of his god leave his mortal body.
I need a drink. He thought, pulling a glass and bottle from his inventory. He poured the amber liquid carefully before downing the beverage in a single gulp.
“You should really just drink from the bottle if you’re gonna down it anyway. It saves on the washing up.” Sally groaned from her bed.
“You’re awake then?” He asked suspiciously.
“I’ve been awake since that insidious presence entered you. I’m quite attune to powerful auras you know.”
Lucas let the silence hang as he poured and downed another glass. He sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of Sally’s bed.
“For what it’s worth, I like the kid.” Sally said, lifting herself up on her elbows. “I don’t get along too well with the almighty kind, but your god certainly picked an interesting guy.”
“Will you continue to watch over him for me?” Lucas asked, but he already knew the answer.
“I’ll do my part, but he needs to experience things on his own if you want him to develop.”
He’d expected as much. Sally was the hands-off kind of teacher. Still, if she liked Kaleb, then perhaps his task was worth all the stress that came with it.
***
I woke up feeling myself again after, what could only be described as, the best nap I’d ever had.
The fog in my head had cleared and I was ready to see my new skill. Thankfully, I hadn’t dreamed at all this time. I had to admit, I was a little weary of sleep after the nightmare I’d had in the mountain.
I shuddered at the thought of it. It felt so real, and that voice. Where had I heard it before?
Pushing those thoughts aside I decided to finally check my quest notification.
Quest Complete!
The Goblin King Coronation
Every century a new goblin king is chosen. He who is destined to unite the clans and conquer the world – or so ancient goblin lore says.
Crash the party, kill the king, and get to the Winchester for a nice cold pint whilst you wait for it all to blow over.
After making your way to the mountain on the Forbidden Isles, you managed to gain admission into the Goblin King Ball.
Whilst there, you goaded Giles, a goblin king candidate, into challenging you to a duel where you killed him in full view of his clan and the other attendees.
Your party member infiltrated the tournament of the goblin king where she successfully defeated candidate Gerad.
Goblin king candidate Geralt killed candidate Gerald so you didn’t have to.
After a gruelling fight, you successfully eliminated Geralt with a sneak attack to the head.
You claimed the crown for yourself.
Objectives:
Stop the coronation 1/1
Kill throne candidates 4/4
Hidden Objective:
Steal the crown 1/1
Reward: A New Passive Skill
*WARNING*
Due to the completion of a hidden objective. The reward has changed to a unique passive skill.
As I read through the updated quest I realised the system had added an abridged, blow by blow account of our activity.
When I reached the end I wasn’t sure what to think. I really needed more active skills, but surely a hidden objective would yield a better reward.
I nudged Panda before opening the new skill. He’d been asleep at the foot of the bed and didn’t seem to want to wake up.
“Panda I need your help.” I said, shaking him firmly.
“Let me sleep!” He groaned.
“But I need some sagely wisdom and you’re the only one I can turn to.” I replied in a playful tone which got his attention.
He sat up and rubbed his eyes with his paws. It would have been cute if I didn’t know his lacking personality. I used to think Pandas were adorable, but this one… not so much.
With Panda awake and ready, I opened the reward skill.
You have unlocked a new passive skill:
Usurper (unique)
Due to your needless refusal to bow to kings, your soul has been forever changed.
The bane of gods and royalty alike, you’re not only defiant and disrespectful to authority. You’ve gone as far as to usurp the throne of the Goblin King from its rightful heir.
Your soul has gained strength.
You are immune to monarch-based soul manipulation skills.
I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded pretty good. I didn’t think I had a problem with authority myself though.
I’d always done my job back on earth and followed the rules laid out by the various driving companies. Would someone who had a problem with authority do that? I think not.
“That’s a great skill.” Panda said, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. “I’m glad you woke me up for it. I’ve only ever seen that skill be handed out once before and it came in handy a few times.”
“What does it mean?” I asked.
“Some of the more powerful adventurers, gods and kings have skills called Monarch skills. They differ slightly from person to person but for the most part they subjugate people.
“Sometimes it’s a charisma thing and the victims don’t realise it’s a skill. Sometimes it’s through mind control or other nefarious means.
“Being immune to it will be a huge boon if you ever meet someone with a skill like that. Assuming they don’t decide to outright kill you for having it that is.”
“Oh great. More powerful people trying to kill me. Isn’t being hunted for your skin bad enough?”
“You’re preaching to the choir there, kid.”