Friday night

I’m not sure why I accepted Emily’s invitation to go to her cousin’s wedding. Part of it’s because I have never been to one. The other is to see what’ll happen.

Jerrica doesn’t stop gushing over how pretty I am in my dress. I don't think I can compare her and Emily’s bridesmaid dresses. The theme is green and their dresses are beautifully accented with gold. Both Andrew and Soran match their suits perfectly with their partners.

It’s also nice seeing Andrew acting like his usual since I last saw him. It’s been hard to be kept in the loop but everything seems fine. It’s like nothing ever happened. It makes me wonder how. Andrew doesn’t deserve Jerrica.

Everything should be back to normal, but it isn’t. Emily isn’t. She’s been keeping to herself all throughout the wedding and into the ceremony. She doesn’t want to be talked to or bothered. She stares off in space frequently. She’s the one who invited me and hasn’t looked at me once.

Nobody brings it up because it wouldn’t be appropriate due to the wedding going on.

But I could be cut open with how sharp the air Emily is.

The cake is cut then the dance begins. Andrew gets up from his seat and extends his hand over to Jerrica, “May I have you? Just for this dance?”

Jerrica looks up to him warmly, softly and lovingly. She giggles, taking his hand, “You may.”

Soran asks Emily to dance right after. Emily shakes her head and says, “I’m going to get some fresh air.”

Emily leaves and I ask, “What’s up with her?”

Soran is gritting his teeth. He gets up and follows Emily.

I turn my attention towards the dance. The bride and groom obviously have the spotlight, but it’s Jerrica and Andrew who steal the show for me. Andrew holds her tenderly. Jerrica rests her head on him with her eyes closed. They move slowly together, more in love than anyone else here.

I’m jealous.

I could never have that.

I never will.

I don’t even know what it would feel like. Love is a tricky emotion. There’s many different kinds. I gave it out just to receive it, but it was never right. It never felt the way love should. I’ve gotten every kind except the one I always wanted. Unconditional.

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Andrew said there shouldn’t be a condition. So why is it that I’m unable to have it? Why does he get it? I deserve it just as much as everyone else does.

It’s not fair.

“Do you think we should rent out a place this big for our wedding?” Jerrica asks when we’re all together again. “I kind of want it to be outdoors too.”

“Getting wedding fever?” Andrew laughs.

“That reminds me. When are you going to get me an engagement ring?”

I look over to Emily. She’s not here. She’s drinking the champagne away. Soran is bored out of his mind. Andrew is in the middle of folding a napkin when I look back. He folds it into a ring then puts it on Jerrica’s finger. “Is it everything you dreamt of?”

Jerrica examines the napkin ring with a grin. “It’s everything more,” she kisses Andrew.

I should never have come.

The endurance test is over and it’s time to leave. I have no choice but to go with Andrew and Jerrica as they’re the ones who brought me. “Emily, we’re going to the diner. Want to come with?” Jerrica asks.

Emily smiles softly and shakes her head. “I think I just want to go home. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Soran, lead the way.”

We part ways and I follow Jerrica and Andrew back to their rental car. It’s starting to rain again and we hurry so we don’t get that wet. “What’s been up her ass all day?” Andrew asks but is ignored.

At the entrance of Darkwood, just right off the highway is a diner that’s open 24/7. It’s the best place to go with a hangover. It’s also where Jerrica and Andrew met. Andrew doesn’t shut up about it.

“Grace, Virginia has been sharing a lot of beautiful ideas for our wedding. She’s already done so much and still wants to give more. I wish I could be more grateful to you than I already am.”

“Might as well suck her dick while you’re at it.”

“I won’t suck yours if you don’t behave yourself, Andy.”

“Why are you thanking me?”

“It’s you who deserves it.”

“Fuck, I gotta piss,” Andrew gets up and leaves.

“I’m the one who made Andrew think he doesn’t deserve you,” I say. “I almost broke you two up.”

Jerrica tilts her head, “I know. He told me what you said to him. And why would you try to do that? Or are you framing it so I think it wasn’t an accident.”

“I don’t like the way you look at me.”

Jerrica smiles, leaning in and resting her chin on her palm. “There’s anger in your eyes. You’re good at hiding it, Grace. Andrew was the same way when I first met him. The thing is, you can’t hide it from me like you do with everyone else.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Your mom is the same way. So are you. You can read people like they’re bleeding their emotions away. You find them as easy to read as it is easy to talk. No one seems to notice because, well, they’re too busy talking. But what I don’t understand is why the hell you’re causing trouble.”

“Andrew surely told you what we talked about when I went along with him to see his dad.”

“That he did,” Jerrica bites one of her fingers. “We can talk about it one day. Just you and me. You don’t have to suffer alone, Grace.”

Jerrica leans back up, shutting up the moment Andrew sits back down. “What I miss?”