Friday Night

Freyja Elledge waits for me outside the venue where Cody is performing today. Sara’s already inside, being a part of the live band Cody uses if they’re ever in the same place.

Cody’s a rapper and already popular enough to sell out venues. People recognize natural talent and that’s all Cody’s been. His style is considered to be too lyrical, emotional and different from ever breaking the mainstream, not like he ever wants to. Today’s the final stop of his tour, exactly where it began.

“Alex wants me to let you know to give him another chance so he can explain himself better,” Freyja tells me as we get situated in the crowd.

We’ve arrived right before Cody’s set time because that’s all I care about.

“Tell him he had three years to explain. He lost his chance.”

Freyja giggles like I don’t know what I’m talking about. “I’ll pass it on but I pray that you don’t leave it on bad terms with him.”

“Has prayer ever worked for you?”

“Not in the ways you think.”

I leave it as that, and try to forget what happened on my birthday. We haven’t talked since, not that I want to. For how gossip spreads like wildfire in this town, nobody knows about it. I haven’t told anyone and neither did the few that know about it. Alex could have easily talked about it and spun in to make me look bad, but he’s never been the type of person to do that.

He’s too good of a person.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by the clapping and cheering of those around me.

Sara finds Freyja and me and waves at us when she comes out with the rest of the band. Her excitement nearly makes her jump off the stage when her girlfriend blows her a kiss.

“Keep it in your pants,” Cody tells her, using the mic to make sure everyone hears. He sits down on the chair behind it.

“It’s more packed since the last time I came to one,” Freyja says.

“It’s only natural,” I reply the same time Cody begins his introduction.

I heard it plenty of times and don’t have to listen as it’s never much different. Sara plays a chord and it begins the shows. I immediately recognize the song as it’s one of my favorites from Cody’s album. He has a way to make his voice seem so fluid that his complex rhymings don’t feel out of place. It’s talent and how he was recognized and signed so early when he first started.

In the middle of his shows, Cody likes to take a break and do freestyles by asking the audience for various topics and prompts and tries to make it all relate to each other. It’s my favorite part because he does it so well it seems like he already had it written down.

I yell for him to rap about pandas when he asks. Someone else suggests water, a garbage truck and naps. Cody is somehow able to tell a story about a panda who works as a garbage man to pay for clean water in his panda village because all the other pandas take too many naps to work.

For the second round of suggestions, Andrew’s voice in the crowd yells out, “Walking home in the rain!” It takes me by surprise. As far as I know, Cody and Andrew should still hate each other’s guts. It’s within Andrew’s character to show up and cause havoc but if he’s here, that could also mean…

“Spiderwebs!” Emily says from within the crowd.

Cody looks over to the direction her voice came from, near where Andrew’s was towards the front. He’s not as shocked as I thought he would be. He glances over towards the next suggestion then repeats them all to make sure he remembered them all.

I thought it was impossible for something like this to happen. Everyone is back in the same place now again, within feets of each other. Freyja and Andrew are the only sense of familiarity while I wait outside. I never got to know Jerrica all too well. Emily might as well be a stranger with how long we haven’t talked and I never met her boyfriend, Sora. Yet we’re all outside the venue, waiting for Cody and Sara to come out.

It’s been three years since Emily cut all of us out of her life. She cut away her childhood sweetheart and best friend, Cody, just to escape. I know Andrew told us they’re here for a wedding of a cousin of the sisters, but what could have changed for her to come back?

Emily gained a considerable amount of weight since we first met and plenty more since the last time I saw her. She used to always wear oversized clothing to hide her skinny body. Anorexia was a side effect from her chronic disease she had her entire life. Leaving the state was the best decision she ever made. She shouldn’t have come back.

Sara finally steps outside and wastes no time and runs over to her former best friend and gives her a bone breaking hug.

Like Emily never cut her off from her life too.

“She doesn’t even hug you that tightly, Fey,” I say but only loud enough for her to hear.

“Like she doesn’t even love me,” she sighs.

Sara nearly tosses Emily away to turn her attention to Jerrica, the woman who tamed her brother. “I don’t know if I should thank you or slap you.”

Jerrica laughs, accepting Sara’s hug. “It was his idea to keep it in the dark. He didn’t want to have you depend on each other by staying in contact too much.”

“I know. It’s good to see you again. I hope he hasn’t driven you too crazy,” she giggles then turns to introduce herself to Soran.

Cody walks out at that moment.

“We were going to the cafe if you all want to join us,” Cody suggests, skipping introductions.

“Hell yeah we’re in! We gotta catch up, Cody-kins!” Andrew jumps excitedly.

Jerrica pinches the bridge of her nose, “You’re so loud,” she sighs.

“That sounds good to me,” Emily accepts with a small and endearing smile.

Emily’s been growing out her red hair since I last saw her. It’s nowhere near the length and fluffiness I associate her with and no longer dyed to be more crimson. She sits on the same side of the booth with her boyfriend, sister and Andrew. I sit directly in front of her, with Sara and Freyja next to me and Cody in the far end.

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I can’t be the only one who feels just how awkward all of this is.

“You guys arrived a few days ago, right? Our mom thought you’d pay a visit by now. She’s has been dying to see you again, Jerrica. She wants to hear it from the woman herself,” Sara asks.

Jerrica looks over to Andrew and can’t stop herself from blushing when she does. From how I remember Jerrica, this is unusual. “That’s the thing, We were going to visit yesterday but…”

“Nevermind that, sis,” Andrew interrupts. “Cody, you were dope as a fuck. I should have caught you when you were in New York.”

I catch Emily taking a glance at Cody. I don’t dare to find out if he notices too.

Emily and Cody didn’t end with any good terms. The destruction of their relationship was the result of Elizabeth’s hand. Two people destined to be with each other but never could.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Cody chuckles.

Jerrica slaps Andrew’s chest. “No, let me finish! I would’ve Sara but this dumbass had to make it complicated.”

“What did he do this time?”

Andrew rests his head on his palm with a giant grin.

“Nothing, it's just…I have to get myself mentally ready.”

“For what?”

“We’re engaged,” Andrew blurts out without a care in the world.

My side of the booth breaks apart with each our own form of disbelief. I think I’m the only one who doesn’t react as much. Sara nearly jumps out of her seat, Freyja’s mouth drops then congratulates them and Cody breaks out with laughter.

“Since when!?” Sara yells.

Jerrica hides her cheeks in embarrassment. “A few days ago. That’s why I haven’t stopped by.”

This is how Andrew gets back at us from my mom ruining his surprise.

I want to be more surprised than I am.

I’m too empty to be as shocked as I want.

“We’ve been fucking day and night,” Andrew laughs.

“I thought it was a joke when we found out, Emily finally speaks.

“Isn’t it a little bit weird that Andrew’s with your sister?” I ask her.

“Little bit,” Emily giggles. She glances over to Cody for a fraction of a second but I still catch it. “I’ve gotten used to it.”

“I haven’t,” Jerrica sighs.

“Well? How did he propose?” Freyja asks the question we’re all now thinking. Knowing Andrew, there’s no limit to how crazy or absurd the way he did it.

“With no ring and in our hotel room,” Jerrica laughs. “Worst proposal ever.”

“And you accepted?”

Jerrica and Andrew look at each other. It’s the same way Sara and Freyja look at each other. There’s a sense of comfort and safety that I see from it. I’m not familiar with ever looking at someone like that, not in that way. Not in the way where everything else could be burning but it'll be okay because they’re there.

“Well I love him, so why wouldn’t I?”

I don’t know how it feels to be in love.

Any time I get close, it just isn’t the same as what I see others have. Like how Sara and Freyja look at eachother. How Andrew and Jerrica look at each other.

I don’t even feel that way with Alex.

I stay silent while the table booth gradually becomes more comfortable with each other and becomes the loudest one in the building. The ringing on my ears comes back and so does the growing ache of this void I always carry. It’s just like on my birthday dinner.

No one pays attention to me. Everyone is too busy catching up with Emily after the topic changes towards her. It’s hard to pay attention.

I’m more focused on why I want them to look at me. Unlike on my birthday, the day isn’t about me so I shouldn’t want it to be. It can’t be attention is all I crave. That’s not what causes the emptiness to grow. There’s something else, something I’m missing.

It’s something I know that I lost, but I forgot what. I never forget.

Emily steps out for a moment after a while for a quick breath of air. I follow her outside. She hasn’t said a word to Cody and vice versa and I am wondering why the hell she’s even here. No one has asked that yet and I can’t ask in front of Cody.

“I know I said it before, but damn, I barely recognize you, Gracie,” Emily compliments me.

“Why are you here?” I ask her bluntly.

Her smile drops and crosses her arms. “I’m here for a wedding. Or are you asking why am I here?” Emily waits for my nod before continuing, “A lot can change in three years. I can’t run away forever.”

“It took him a long time to get over you,” I cross my arms too. I love Emily, but she should have never come. “You don’t get to come back like it’s fine.”

“It’s not, Grace. But we’re adults now. I didn’t come uninvited. We ran into each other last night. I came to see you and Sara more than anything.”

Cody didn’t tell me he ran into her. Why would he invite her knowing how much she hurt him? I was the one who had to help him rebuild the mess she left behind. I thought he was over her.

“What about never coming back here again?”

“Remember how I said Darkwood corrupts everyone who lives there? I always blamed it on everyone like I wasn’t also part of that everyone. I didn’t want to admit I was part of the problem. I’m sorry that I didn’t. I only wanted to make myself believe I was a good person.”

“Yeah, I know. You took pity on me because of it.”

Emily sighs and drops her arms, “It took me a long time to accept my mistakes too. It’s a miracle how you ended up where you’re at now. You’re lucky to have a heart strong enough to not allow you to end up how we did. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved with us.”

“It’s not luck. I’m just smart enough to not repeat everyone’s mistakes.”

“Well now that we’re here, I gotta ask. How are you in the boys department? I bet there’s no shortage of options just how I said there would be.”

“Single on an empty road.”

“Shut up, there’s no way I believe that. Look at you.”

“All the other cars are driving on the other lane. There’s no car to share the road with.”

“Oh,” Emily laughs. “Anyone who used to?”

I shake my head. “Maybe, one, but that’s over now.”

“Now I know you’re lying.”

I bring my hands together and stretch my arms upwards. “I guess I’m just that bitch. But no, plenty of guys have tried, but no one I liked back. I don’t get crushes easily, is that weird?”

“Little bit,” Emily laughs. “I’m kidding. It just means that whoever captures your heart will truly be someone special.”

“I don’t think so. Feels like I wasn’t born capable of finding them.”

“What you think and what you feel are two different things,” she smiles and makes her eyes a bit more focused on mine. “But I bet you already know that.”

“What about Cody? Didn’t you say he would always be your true love?”

Emily looks up at the starless night. “We were in love, but what an inconvenient time it was.”

“Do you hate Elizabeth for breaking you guys up?”

“I might have at one point, but it’s been years. I was forced to become a better person because of her, so I have to be thankful for that. Who knows how miserable I would be if I was still living in the bubble I was in.”

“How could you know that?” I ask at the same time Emily looks back straight ahead.

“No, Grace, she just called us out on our bullshit. She called me out on my bullshit. She just gave us the truth. We were forced to face that reality.”

“So you don’t hate her? Even after everything that happened after?. Emily, you got shot. You could have died. That’s why you left. This town is cursed.”

“What happened three years ago wasn’t her fault. We shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Even so, thinking the town is cursed is letting fear win. A lot has changed.”

“Is that what you’re back? Are things that much different?”

“Maybe not everything else, but I am. I’m older. I see things differently now. When I was your age, I thought I had it all figured out, boy was I wrong. I think I was just angry and scared that I couldn’t change if I didn’t leave for good.”

“What if it wasn’t a good idea to come back? I catch you looking at him, y’know?”

“Relax, Gracie,” Emily's smile is put back up. “We haven’t seen each other in three years, of course I’m going to look. He’s much different from who he was. He’s changed a lot too. It’s just nice to see him, is all. I’m happy enough with Soran. I’m able to be here because of him.”

“Not gonna randomly announce you’re engaged too, are you?”

Emily catches herself on the wall from falling with laughter. “Not at the moment, no.” Ems takes a moment to collect herself. “C’mon, I had enough fresh air.”

“Yay, I love being smothered in awkward tension,” I follow Emily back inside.

“Since when did you get so funny?” Emily giggles.