Mara:

I had gone on a hunting trip to clear my mind. My husband had asked me to give our eldest daughter Siya a gruesome test where I would have to beat her until she could no longer stand. She wouldn't stay down though.

No matter how many times I hit her, praying it would be the last, she would get back up. Eventually, I started pulling my attacks, afraid I would kill her if I kept it up, but that only left her with enough strength to continue standing back up again and again.

I had put her through harsh training on more than one occasion, each grueling session having a purpose and making her stronger… Slowly, but stronger all the same.

That was different though. That wasn’t training. To call it a beating would be generous. It felt like I was torturing a cornered beast that was fighting on nothing more than its instinct to survive.

As I looked at my own daughter, she looked like little more than an undead. Blood trickled down from her many wounds where her skin had broken, mud covered her arms and legs, and what skin was visible underneath all that had already turned black and blue.

Seeing her look like a corpse already made my stomach twist in knots. I had a close friend turn undead once… It wasn’t a pleasant memory. Somehow it was my will that broke first, despite her being the one getting beaten. I couldn't take it anymore.

She always told me I would be the one to kill her, that her father wasn't strong enough, but sometimes I wonder… if I had to… Could I really do it?

I always remained cold to her, trying my hardest not to get attached. No matter how hard I tried to stay distant though, even going so far as to refuse to acknowledge her by name at times, It only made my heart ache more.

I let loose an arrow, killing another rabbit. ‘This Isn’t working at all. My mind feels heavier than when I left…’

Every arrow I shot I killed something. A small dear, a wild boar, and just now a rabbit. Each shot was fired with perfect precision. It never felt right though. Every time I let go of the string I imagined Siya on the other end.

The same question continues to linger in my mind. ‘Even if she was possessed by a demon, would I be able to actually fight with intent to kill? Would I have the strength?’

It took some time, but after being separated from her for long enough my resolve was renewed. ‘I will do what must be done… Just like I always have…’

I dropped off the game I caught in the kitchen, cleaning off my hands before heading back towards the house. Before I even came through the door I was met with screams.

‘Is that Lu? What could have happened to make her scream like that? Did a monster get inside the house!’

Somehow that seemed more plausible than what I would soon find out to be reality. The truth was, I had never heard Siya scream. Even as a baby, she was calm and fearless. I knew it didn’t sound quite right to be her sister, but I still couldn’t imagine it to have been her.

I crashed through the door, blowing it off its hinges with an arrow knocked in my hunting bow. My children were all gathered together. My first son, Bhaltair, was holding Siya by the hair. When I realised it was her that was screaming my blood ran cold. As terrifying as a monster getting into the house was, somehow what I was seeing scared me even more.

She screamed again, her yells turning to whimpers. It only took a glance to understand why. Her arm was severely broken, the bones sticking out from beneath her skin and blood covering the ground. I could tell my sun had been cut, so some of the blood must have been his, but he was unphased.

My mind began to blur into a haze as I became overwhelmed, and overloaded with emotions. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, what I was supposed to say.

“Siya, are you alright?” ‘No, that's a stupid question. Of course, she isn't.’ “How badly are you hurt?” ‘No, that's obvious too, I can see it with my own eyes.’

Everything began to blur together. I must have said something to Bhaltair, but I couldn’t even say what that might have been, all I remember was the warm scent of blood.

“I'm Fine…” Siya’s voice creaked like an old chair as she stood up.

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Her eyes were piercing straight through to my soul. ‘Even now she says that? And even now she’s standing back up…’

I grabbed her arm, taking a closer look. “Broken…” I muttered. ‘of course it is… I need to treat this quickly. No, it would be better if Cathy did it.’

I looked up to Airsidh, and without even having to ask he knew what to do.

“I'll get Catherine.” He said, already halfway out the door.

Lu was standing next to him frozen still. She was a prodigy, but still just a child, one that cared for her sister, even if she didn’t want anyone to know.

“Lu!”

She suddenly started looking around the room, her eyes finally looking like they regained some focus.

‘Yelling her name snapped her out of the shock. That's good.’ “Get the medical kit and bring it to my room, quickly.”

Her eyes were still wide with shock, but she was at least nodding as if she understood. Again everything became Hazy. Before I knew it Catherine was there.

“Mara…”

Hearing her voice was enough of a comfort to keep me sane, and keep me moving. “Tell me what I need to do.”

She let out a saddened sigh and walked closer, looking at it, gently pushing Lu to the side. “Bone sight.”

“You're using magic?”

“Do you want it to heal properly or–” Her words trailed off the moment her eyes connected with mine.

‘I’ve had my own life saved by magic more than once when I was out of the country…’ “I wasn't objecting… Just… Is she going to be alright?”

She looked back at Siya's arm. “She’ll be fine… You can stop crying.”

I raised a hand to my eyes before I believed her. ‘Am I really shedding tears for her?’

I quickly wiped them away and refocused. “What do we need to do?”

She raised a hand, telling me to stay back. “Just let me do my thing.”

I felt so useless as she lay unconscious in front of me, injured by her own brother. It was different than the other times. I wasn't waiting with an antidote if things got too bad, I wasn't able to give her medicine, or make her a hot cup of tea to help her warm up… There was nothing I could do.

“And this?” Catherine pointed to her nose and ears without taking her eyes off the arm. “You know what this means don’t you?”

“Manna deficiency…” I mumbled. ‘I didn’t know he had already started teaching her magic… This is all wrong…’

“When I said she’d be fine I meant she would live. I can’t tell you if she’ll ever wake up though. There wasn’t even a scrap of manna left in her body. I already gave her some of mine to try and restart its circulation, but who knows if that will work.”

I started crying again, each tear feeling like it fell to the ground like a hammer.

“Keep in mind that worst-case scenario. Since I made it here early, the chances are pretty high that she will come too in a few weeks at most.”

She was right of course. Without magic, it was incredibly difficult to be able to make sure she would still be able to use her arm when it healed. Stopping infection was a challenge too. A fractured bone that punctured skin was the kind of injury that killed people…

As I got lost in my own thoughts, Catherine had already gotten to work, using magic to create several plates and pins out of wispy gold.

“Lu, you might want to close your eyes.” She suddenly said, without looking away. Seconds later, she cut open the wound and set the bone, drilling the plates into her arm and sealing it back up all in a matter of minutes.

It was hard to watch, but what she was doing was nothing short of amazing. To me, it was a sign that Siya really would be ok. An expert surgeon at work.

To Lu though, I could only imagine what she must have been thinking. I thought about forcing her to cover her eyes, but if she was going to become a soldier like she wanted to, she would probably see far more gruesome things than this.

She was still young though. At that point, it was enough to make her vomit to the side.

“I told you,” Catherine said slyly.

She grunted. “It’s going to help right? As long as it helps…” She glanced back at the operation, quickly averting her gaze and looking back at me. “Mom it's going to help right?”

All I could do was nod, narrowing my eyes as I looked back at Catherine’s work. “She'll be fine… Her arm will heal, and things related to manna are all about the power of your own will. If it comes to that I can’t think of anyone stronger. Of course, she’ll wake up.”

In the blink of an eye, the wound was sealed and cast, and then the healing was sped up with magic. When it was all said and done Catherine nearly collapsed.

Her nose began to bleed as she lifted a hand to her head. “Geez, I’m really out of shape… I need to go lay down… She’s in your care.”

As she walked out the door, leaving Siya in my care, her words felt heavy. ‘She's in my care… Can I really take care of her though?’ I stepped up to the bed with Lu and looked down at her. ‘I mean, look at where that’s gotten us. I ended up being so useless as a teacher that her father is going to have to take over after all.’

I paused looking down at her. Her body was covered in bruises from head to toe, and covered in more scars than mine despite her only being 14 ‘I won't have to hurt her anymore at least, if he’s taking over.’

I felt my brow furrow at my own thoughts. I knew full well that Keigan taking over her training just meant that it would be even harder on her and that each test would no longer be simply painful or torturous, but a matter of life and death. “Siya… I'm sorry…”

Whatever resolve I had within myself to kill her, or to harm her in any way, crumbled to pieces in that moment. My voice cracked as I felt a wave of relief over the fact that I would never have to beat her so severely again. Still, my heart sank in my chest, the weight only growing heavier. ‘I wish I got the chance to be your mother. But Keigan was right… I have no right to that title.’

I grazed my fingers against her neck. The scar from way back had faded so much I could only see it because I knew where to look. ‘This is all just stupid…’ I took a deep breath, but the weight only grew heavier. ‘I'm tired of all this.’ I looked over to my closet where my duel swords and daggers still hung on the wall nearby.

‘How long has it been since I allowed myself to have fun, instead of stressing myself over this little girl…’ I smirked. Feeling ashamed at how messed up everything had gotten. It was so crazy it was almost funny. ‘This brat… I need a drink…’