Just like before, the same packs used to carry our supplies were being used as seats, fairly comfortable ones from the looks of it. Airsidh was sitting down, leaning back against a wall, looking like he was about to fall asleep, a scene I had grown accustomed to. At the same time, I wouldn’t dare doubt how sharp he was, despite appearances.
Zu was sitting next to him, board, but comfortable enough. At any rate, he looked happier than I was, sitting on the cold stone ground. It didn’t matter that much though I suppose, there was plenty of room to stretch out if nothing else.
Keigan patted the pack he was sitting on, moving over to the side to make room. “Siya, come over here and have a seat, you need to relax, we’ll be walking several miles to get back to the entrance.”
For a long while, I didn’t even turn my head to acknowledge his existence, but his voice was one that demanded a response, even happy as it was. When I did finally respond I didn’t even get any words out. I just glared back at him, not wanting to go anywhere near him, much less share a seat with him. It wasn’t even just a matter of my personal feelings… But every time he got close… I started to shiver. Even if I could convince my mind to function normally, my body couldn’t forget. Just the thought of being close to him made me conflicted. I was torn between wanting to break something and hide under a blanket somewhere.
I turned my eyes away for a moment as I tried to suppress the sudden chill I got. His face and his voice… Especially the feeling of his rough hands, they all still reminded me of my showdown with the hoard of undead and the brutal way that it ended…
I knew it was all in my head, but I could still feel the pain, not only from the scratches but from the way he forced me to the ground to “treat” me, with whatever medicine they had. It was all still so vivid, but my senses were telling me that he was just as dangerous as the ghoul, maybe even more so.
I knew it was stupid in a sense… That I should probably be thanking him for saving me from the even worse pain that would have taken hold without the medicine… Logically speaking, he did help me… But I couldn’t change how I felt and… Honestly… I didn’t want to.
I turned my head away from him, facing straight forward and resting my chin on my arms, holding my knees as I tried to relax. “I’m staying as far away from you as I can,” I said softly, resting my eyes for a moment. ‘Then again, staying close to him would be the smart thing to do if I want to be safe. He’s been protecting me pretty well ever since I almost died again…’
My brother let out a long sigh before the sound of Zu flying out of his seat became all too apparent. “Who would have guessed treating a kid like she was the spawn of Satan for a few days would make her hate you?” He said sarcastically, patting the newly available seat next to him.
‘Hate…’ The word echoed in my mind. It was such a strong word, a word I never wanted to use to describe my feelings toward anyone… And yet, it felt like it was just a breath away from how I felt.
I slowly looked over to Zu, and then back to my brother. “That wasn’t very nice…” ‘Honestly, I don’t even want to move… Even standing feels like too much work.’
Zu stood up, brushing himself off, “Uhg… Not to worry, I have a hard head.” He walked over and sat on the ground next to me. “Just go sit with your brother, if anyone needs the rest I’m sure it’s you.”
I rolled my eyes. ‘I’m sitting down either way, there’s hardly even a difference, it’s not like it’s a bed.’ I let out a long groan. “Whatever, fine…”
Airsidh turned back to my father, who unironically seemed to be carefully thinking about his actions. “Listen, I’m not saying I’m a better human being than you, but little girls are scared of you, and not of me…”
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The moment I sat down I quickly realised I was just a pawn in another one of his jokes, but it didn’t bother me… Even though the a small gap between us, I could feel the heat radiating through his armor, and for a moment my tired and anxious heart slowed, feeling at ease. ‘That’s right… That happened too. He was there as well…’
Even being close to Air was a bit uncomfortable. It felt just as awkward as when Mara suddenly decided she was going to share my bed with me, although admittedly to a bit less of an extent.
He swept his cloak over my shoulder and almost without a second thought I wrapped it around myself as I pulled my feet up ‘‘After everything, am I really still just a scared little girl? After learning magic, befriending two gods, and getting the snot beat out of me over and over again.’ I took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh feeling the warmth on my skin from the heat trapped under his cloak. “So what if I am,” I muttered. “Foxes are cute and little too, but they scream like banshees and fight like wolves.” ‘They act just as scared as me… But they still beat anything that doesn’t have a shotgun.’ I sighed again, closing my eyes. ‘I’m probably giving them way too much credit…’
“That’s true, I don’t remember calling you cute though.”
‘Yeah, that’s true, so what am I then? Maybe more of a… wombat? No, those are super cute too.’ I let out a sigh. “Am I not?” I asked, not even bothering to open my eyes. I knew I wasn’t, but the analogy was way better if we just pretended like I was. I was curious if he’d have trouble being brutally honest for once too. When I heard no response back though I had to open my eyes to make sure I was still awake. “Well?” I asked again, slowly looking up at him. Without even realizing it I had moved closer to better wrap the cloak around myself, I was practically right under his arm.
His eyes stared holes straight through me and his face stayed stiff as stone. His carefree smile was completely gone replaced with a completely relaxed expression as his cheeks turned faintly red. ‘There’s no way, that’s what finally broke that stupid grin he always walks around with?’
He cleared his throat. “It would… Feel wrong to call you that.”
‘That’s not what your face says…’ I tried to say the words out loud but they all stuck in my throat.
“You’re my little sister,” He finally continued. “Adorable would probably be more suitable. Yes, that’s it, you're adorable. Of course, that’s our family, all of the men are handsome and all of the women are beautiful. It’s only natural that this applies to you too.”
I felt my face start to turn red. I could tell he was trying to play it off by saying everyone in our family was like that… But that really didn’t change the fact he called me beautiful… A strange fire flooded through my chest, like the feeling of making your father proud, or hearing him say he loved you… It all seemed so disconnected that my head started to feel like a jumbled mess. Suddenly I wanted to hide for a whole different set of reasons.
I pulled away, but my hands were still firmly holding his cloak, so, in the end, I just bounced back hitting my head against his arm.
“You uh… alright?”
I slowly pinched the bridge of my nose ‘Of course I am your freakishly muscular arm broke the impact… I can’t say that though, what am I supposed to say then?’ “Just… Stop talking…” I mumbled. ‘Yeah, that usually works, it always works with Finlo. He always backs off when I say that.’
He casually brought his heel up to his knee as he wrapped an arm around me, resting it on my shoulder like we were starring in a buddy cop show. “Why would I do that?”
I froze still, turning to Zu for help, but he and Keigan were having their own conversation, and too caught up in it to even notice I needed a way out. “Because I… I don’t know how I’m supposed to react when you say things like that, so I don’t know what to say, so I… So… I mean…”
He chuckled, his face returning to its normal unbothered self. “Try not to let it bother you. You are cute alright, so don’t worry about that stuff… At least… Not till you're a bit older.”
‘So… I am cute then?’ “No offense Airsidh, but you seem like the type of person who would lie to people when he felt like it…”
“Definitely.”
“I knew it! So all—”
“I wasn’t lying this time though. Why would I bother when I could just tell the truth and watch how squirmy you become? It’s not really like it’s some big shock that you're pretty, is it? I’m sure Mom’s told you that before too, that’s why she told me to chase away all the boys that approach you.
“She what?” My head felt even more like fire as I started to feel dizzy. ‘So… He was being serious then? And mom too? I mean… I never thought I was some hideous monster, but…’ I took a deep breath in. ‘It doesn’t even matter if he’s lying or not… Honestly, if he is, it might just make me even happier…’ “Thanks…” I muttered.
My father stood up with a groan, finally turning back to us. “At least I don’t make them cry.” He said with a snort.
My eyes went wide. ‘Not again… Not now of all times…’ I rubbed my eyes with my hands and sure enough, there was a tear, but just one.
“It’s just cold down here, so my eyes are drying out…” I mumbled, thankful it wasn’t anything more. ‘Did hearing that sort of thing really make me that happy? I’m not vain am I?’
“I guess we should get going then before you catch a cold.” He grumbled. It would have sounded cool if he wasn’t the only reason we hadn’t headed out sooner.