After everything settled down with Finlo and Zu, I snuck out the window the same way I had come in. Instead of the cold air greeting me though, it was almost like I felt nothing, a complete stillness, and even a warmth as the energy in my body condensed, creating an intense pressure that started to feel almost calming in a way.
The first rays of light began to peak over the horizon, but for the first time, I watched a colorless sunrise, as my darksight muted all colors. It seemed like the longer I used it the more color drained from around me, but at the same time, I could feel that the spell was growing in strength, that being the cause of it.
‘I shouldn’t worry about this too much. I should go and get Fritz ready, and I should check on how Airsidh is doing. The light is still on in the workshop. At least… I think it is.’ I looked over towards the window, but it was starting to become hard to distinguish between what was lit up and what was dark.
To give him some more time just in case, I went to the stables to get Fritz saddled up for the first time, expecting it to be a bit of a chore. Instead of being antsy about it though she just gave me an angry scowl, calmly staying in place. She licked my face given the opportunity, but instead of healing like I had felt before, it was a near unbearable pain, the kind that was so strong it radiated through your bones and you couldn’t even tell if it was sharp or dull, just that it hurt. The only thing I could compare it to was when a dentist cut out my wisdom teeth with a sharp saw, and the painkiller wore off just a few minutes after he was done.
I pushed her head away and braced myself against a wooden pillar, but with a surprised inhale from Fritz, it all stopped.
‘Was she trying to help?’ “I–” I took a minute to steady myself, rubbing my face to get rid of any lingering pain. “Ugh… Seems like healing magic doesn’t mix well with dark magic huh.” Her scowl turned to a worried look as she stepped forward and pressed her head against my chest. “I know, I won’t mess around with it alright, I only need it this one time.”
She let out a puff of air and I finished getting her ready. She gladly accepted everything but the bit, which admittedly I didn’t want to use anyway. On any other horse sure, but not on Fritz. I hardly needed a big chunk of metal in her mouth to tell her where to go.
After I finished I wrapped my arms around her neck and rested my eyes. All of my senses felt altered, but her warmth and calm heartbeat were the same. Her soft fur against my skin and the sweet scent of wildflowers that somehow always followed her, it was like even in the darkness somehow my perception of Fritz never changed. ‘Is this because she is a god beast or whatever?’ “Someday, I’d like to have a real conversation with you. It would be nice to have some of these questions answered.”
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“There is magic that lets you talk to animals.”
I heard a voice reach out from behind me but my hearing was affected like all my other senses. The words were clear, and I understood them perfectly, but somehow I was unable to grasp whose voice it was. It was almost like I never even heard the words at all, as if I had read them off of a page. Slowly opening my eyes and turning my head, I saw none other than Airsidh, placing a saddle on one of the stall doors. “I bet you didn’t sleep well last night did you.”
In my mind, only one of the two things he said were remotely important, so I just ignored the other entirely. “Where do people practice this animal-speaking magic? It’s not the empire is it?”
He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh turning to his horse and scratching her chin. “No, the empire would rather have obedient mounts than friends. It’s more popular down south past the two nations that border us. Although some of the orcs practice it to talk to their wargs to the east.”
“So the orcs then…”
I leaned out of Fritz's stall and began to stare at him intently. ‘He’s wearing armor, and why is he getting his horse ready? Is he going on a hunt now that Mara can’t? Of course, our father will be gone too now so…’ My thoughts froze in place as I continued to look at him. ‘Mara… Mom… and lord Keigan. It feels so easy to call her mom now, but why is it so awkward to call him anything other than father…
“Siya…” Airsidh grumbled. “Your eyes are dark.”
A jolt of electricity shot through me chasing after chills that ran down my arms. “What?”
“Your mind is getting lost again, you need to keep it clear and focused, better to start practicing now before you get to the dungeon.”
“Ah, right, sorry…” It was an expression I heard so rarely I nearly forgot about it, but having dark eyes just meant that you were letting your mind wander so aimlessly that even your eyes had lost focus, staring off into space.
Stepping back from his stall he grabbed a large ornate case, staring at it for a moment with his back turned to me. “Mom would tell you not to apologize…” He said softly, grabbing the case and walking up to me. “Personally I think it’s a nice change of pace from arguing until someone has to prove who was right with a brawl.”
My fist lightly clenched. There was strength in my hand, but nothing compared to his. “It’s not like I could fight you anyway.”
He nudged my left arm with the case. “But it’s not like that would stop you from trying.”
I felt chills run down my arms again. It was healed, but anything that brought attention to it still gave me chills. Slowly reaching a cross I grabbed it to cover the scars. “That’s—”
“Mom tells you not to apologize because she doesn’t want you to cower out of fear of losing a fight if things escalate, a lot of times losing a fight might even be better than apologizing. However, I see it as you being genuine. Just make sure you keep living in a way where you don’t have to say you're sorry, otherwise it won’t mean much.”
‘And you could say words that make sense…’
With his free hand lightly flicked my forehead. “I won't mess up your hair, but since your eyes look so lifeless right now, how about we go shoot some stuff to help you clear your mind? Or did I do all this work for nothing?” He smiled, holding the case up to my eyes and handing it to me.
“So this is,”
“That’s right, so, want to test it out?”