“Siya.” I started to make out some faded, muffled words.
“Siya!” I heard it again more clearly than before.
“SIYA!” Finally, I heard the course's worn-out voice. I recognized it, but for some reason, I couldn’t put a name or face to it. Whoever it was, their voice rang clearly through my ears.
Everything felt like it was spinning. My head pounded and my body remained hesitant to move. I felt like I was on only three hours of sleep after staying up late gaming, hopped on energy drinks.
“Ahhhhhhhhh.” I groaned. “Who are you talking to… SIS! Did you bring home another stray dog!?!, but the moment I opened my eyes I snapped back to reality. I was Siya, and the person in front of me… Well, that was my mother, Mara.
I couldn't believe my mind had been so ruined I almost forgot the name I had for over 14 years… If anything I should have known my sister coming home with a stray dog would have been the dream. It was like my brain had defaulted as far back as it could for me to try and regain my sanity.
Honestly, after realizing what I had forgotten, and how badly I wanted the scenario I dreamed up to be a reality, it almost moved me to tears. A part of me wished it was real.
“Siya! Can you understand me!” The screaming nearly broke my ears, but although her voice was coarse, her mouth wasn’t moving enough for her to actually be yelling.
“SHUT UP!” I yelled covering my ears in pain before quickly moving my hands to my mouth “I mean… yes… sorry.”
“Do you remember your name?”
Her words still sounded like yelling, but my ears were slowly starting to adjust. I let out a sad sigh. “Yea… Everything is still a bit fuzzy, but it’s coming back pretty quick…”
She closed her eyes and I could see her chest rise and fall as she let out a sigh of her own. Hers was far different than mine though. It was clear she was relieved, happy even. The complete opposite of how I was feeling.
“My name is Mara.” She continued, not even bothering to ask if I remembered her, “I am your… I'm your...” She paused, each time stopping as if there was a needle ready to pierce her heart the moment she finished. She narrowed her eyes. “Does my name sound familiar?”
I covered my eyes, rubbing my face with my hands, still trying to wake myself up. “Mara, even if I wanted to, I doubt I could ever forget you. Even if I went blind I doubt the image I have of you would ever fade.”
My vision was still blurred, but I had her entire figure perfectly memorized. After all, she had been with me nearly every hour for the past fourteen years. I had spent more time with her than any human being, that's in either life.
She lowered her head. “No, I suppose not.” Clearing her throat she lifted her hand in front of my face, her own growing colder and more distant. Can you see my hand?”
I nodded It hurt my eyes to try and focus, but I could if I tried.
“How many fingers am I holding up?” she asked
I felt my eyes start to twitch. They were focusing, but that still didn’t fully clear up the image. “Well, I’m pretty sure you don't have 8 fingers on one hand, so I’m gonna go with 4.”
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“O…k… Follow my fingers as I move them.”
I followed her fingers with my eyes just like she said. Before I even realized it I was no longer looking at her at all, rather I was staring at the ceiling.
“I think… Something is wrong…” I said half-jokingly. I never even got hit in the head as far as I remembered ‘as far as I remember… Wait, what happened to me? I fought something… But so much time has passed already since the incident with the bitterweed.’
My headache worsened, but I forced through it, making my memories come back. I held my head in my hands as they all rushed back through me as if they were happening again. Reflexively, I curled up in a ball, shaking as I tucked my head and even my thoughts began to stutter.
‘A-ah… S-so that’s what happened huh…’
A human-like figure suspended in the air by chains that shot out in every direction. Long frail legs that never touched the ground, and even longer arms, with fingers large enough to squeeze me till my head popped off.
Just the thought of it made me vomit again over the edge of my bed.
‘Lovely… I’ll have to clean that up now too…’
I tried to keep it out of my thoughts but it was impossible. I couldn't help but tremble just at the thought of it. Whatever it was, it could kill me if it wanted to, it wouldn’t even be hard for it.
That was what scared me the most though, that it didn’t. It didn’t want to kill me. It wanted to make me afraid. That meant there was no telling what it would do if we saw each other again.
I felt a dull chill as Mara slowly pulled her hand away, but I hadn’t even realized it was there.
. “Siya, I'm going to turn down the lights.”
“NO!” The light was still burning my eyes and making my head hurt, but even that was better than being in the dark again.
“Oh… Sorry… I can leave them lit if you want.”
“Are YoU afrAId oF THe DaRK?” A shadowy voice spoke softly into my ear, but it wasn’t scattered screeches. It was more human this time. Less like a crow imitating a man, and more like a man imitating a crow.
It was inside my head, and suddenly, I couldn’t hope it was all just a dream or an illusion created by the tower. “Mara… did you hear that?”
She lowered a hand to her sword hilt with a grimace. “Hear what…”
‘I must be losing my mind…’
I covered my head with one of the blankets, but the moment I did I felt a black fog envelop me. It was suffocating. The stench of death wafting up from the darkness I had created around me.
I threw the blankets off and pushed myself up against the bed frame, jumping to my feet. ‘It followed me home… those were its last words right?’ My heart raced as I grabbed onto my headboard like my life depended on it, cracking the wood as I looked around the room for any sign of it.
“Siya?”
I grabbed her wrist as she reached out to touch me, squeezing it so tightly that my arm began to ache where it had been broken.
“Siya!” She shouted, grabbing my shoulders. “Look at me! You're alright now, everything is fine.”
My eyes rapidly scanned the room a few more times before I believed her and gave in to my exhaustion. Falling to my knees, I closed my eyes, the soft cushion catching my weight as I wished everything would just go back to the way it was. ‘She's right… it's over… Even if it did show up it wouldn’t be a match for her…’
I clenched my jaw, trying to pull myself together as I realized the irony of how safe she was making me feel. ‘This is where a normal girl would start crying again and give her mom a hug right?’
I raised my hand to my eyes, rubbing my face again. For once I didn’t want to cry at all, but I couldn't stop shaking. Even after my mind had calmed, my body was still trembling in fear. ‘What's wrong with me…’
Her palms traced my arms down to my hands and firmly grasped them. “It’s ok now. You’re home…”
Her words were only so reassuring. I may have said that I wanted to go home… But that didn’t mean I wanted to be in that house… I guess there was no way they could have known that though.
I took another deep breath. ‘Nothing is really different than any other time something bad has happened to me right? Step one, identify the problem, step two, come up with a solution, step three, find a way to get there.’
I took a final deep breath before slowly opening my eyes again, and finally, everything began to seem normal as whatever strange toxin finished flushing out of my system. My mind finally seemed clear.
‘If I start working under the assumption that I’m going insane then I’ll lose for sure… So I need to work under the assumption I’m still in my right mind. That being the case I can’t ignore what I heard, or what I felt, even if Mara didn’t hear or feel it.
I reached down to my ankle. It had been bandaged, but still stung. ‘This is all the proof I need.’ I was still trembling, but I felt a smile crawl across my face.
‘Time for a little tit for tat then. Fighting a war, no matter what scale, you must know when to act, and when to let your opponent act.’ I clenched my fist, tensing my muscles as I tried to force myself to stop shaking.
‘When you're the anvil you need to know how to take a hit.’ I flexed every muscle I had as hard and as long as I could before finally relaxing and making a calm fist, staring at it, and feeling the power in my grip. ‘And when you're the hammer you need to have a solid strike
Looking back up at Mara I finally managed to pull myself together. “I need a sword…” ‘Of course, it won’t do much good if it can move faster than my eyes. I’ll need more than that...’
I felt my eyes randomly move around the room not focusing on anything as my mind began to race. “Not just one sword… I need at least eight, and a hammer.” Finally, I was starting to get an idea.