‘Who else could have done it…’ That was the question on my mind. Who would have poisoned me? ‘Would Bhaltair go against my father and try to kill me after all? If it was him though, then why would Mara hesitate to give me the antidote.’

‘The only way that any of it makes sense is if it's a part of my training somehow. Bhaltair is in charge of making me tougher, so it's not out of the question that it was him.’

Suddenly I felt a pit in my stomach, making me even more uncomfortable when combined with the hunger. ‘I don't like this… I can't even sleep at night without running the risk I might get poisoned by an unknown enemy… I really don't like this…’

I rubbed my arms as the chills returned once again. ‘If it wasn't Mara though, then that means I'll have to rely on her until I figure it out… Just one more reason I hate this.’

A silence had hung in the air between me and Mara long enough that she took it as a sign I wasn't talking to her. Without so much as a word of her own, she got up to leave, walking towards the door.

“Wait!” I cried out, quickly covering my mouth, not intending to have yelled. It was embarrassing to admit, but as scared of her as I was at that moment, I was even more terrified of being alone.

She paused, allowing the silence to linger as she waited for me to speak, the tension growing thicker with every second I waited.

I was nervous, but I was also starving, covered in cold sweat, and still worried about not knowing who poisoned me. Besides all that, I wasn't sure if I had the strength to get out of bed. I felt like I needed her, and I wasn't going to just let her walk away again out of fear.

“I-I– uh…”

Giving up on the idea that it would just be a few last words, she turned around to face me. “Spit it out.”

I looked down, fidgeting with my dress, rubbing the fabric between my thumb and pointer finger. “I just, well…”

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“Speak up.”

I felt my shoulders raise as I tensed up even more, letting out a small high-pitched yelp I hoped she didn't hear.

“Well…” She continued, her voice becoming louder and more stern.

Every time she spoke it only made me want to be even quieter. “I'm hungry…” my voice cracked.

Originally I was going to ask for her to help me get down the stairs again because I wasn't sure my legs were ready to carry my weight, but somehow it ended up devolving into ‘I'm hungry’ on the way out.

I was still covered in sweat, and even if I felt better I certainly didn't feel good. I was afraid that I might just collapse if I tried to get up.

“So go get some food.” Her voice had a chilling annoyance to it that matched her glare.

‘She's still mad for some reason… Maybe I shouldn't ask her to carry me. If she could just bring me something to eat that would still help.’

“Can– you–” I turned away, trying to remove the vulnerability from my voice before I continued. “Bring me some…” After all my training it was embarrassing to have to ask for help simply because I was too weak to walk, much less from her.

She sighed. “Are you trying to say you don't think you can walk?”

I bit my lip and nodded at her annoyed tone, still avoiding her eyes.

“OK, let's get you something to eat. I'll help you get cleaned up too. A hot bath should help your body recover, as long as you drink enough water.”

“A what…” I knew what I had heard, but I was so dumbfounded I didn't believe it. If you didn't count Catherine washing the poison off of my body, I hadn't once had a hot bath, not in that entire lifetime.

I wasn't allowed to take them, being forced instead to wash myself in a cold spring to try and help build mental toughness. Because of that, I thought for sure I must have heard her wrong. It stunned me to the point I hardly even noticed her approaching me again.

She reached out towards me and without thinking about it I flinched back. A part of me was still scared of her, even after finding out it wasn't her that poisoned me.

She let out another sigh “Do you want to go or not?”

I still didn't understand who poisoned me, or why she placed her hand around my neck like she did, but it was clear enough that she wasn't trying to kill me when she did that.

I just had to remind myself that she was the one that gave me the antidote, technically speaking that meant she actually saved my life, rather than trying to kill me. ‘Does that make us even now?’

I looked up at her as she raised her eyebrows, still waiting for a response.

“N-no, I want to go.” My voice quivered as I began feeling smaller and smaller the closer she became. “Sorry, it was just a reflex.”

“Your reflexes suck.”

I chuckled nervously at her harsh tone which only seemed to be getting more annoyed. ‘She saved my life… She saved my life… She saved my life.’ I repeated that phrase over and over, but it never seemed to actually help the panic my heart was feeling from her being so close.

When she picked me up onto her back though, that all changed. I was unable to see her face, and I could feel her smooth breathing. The scent of flowers from her hair filled my nose and her strong muscles almost seemed comforting in a way, instead of dangerous.

‘A meal… and a hot bath…’ I still didn't believe it, but I was hopeful.