My breath caught in my throat as the warmth I had been feeling all turned ice cold, my hair standing up on its end.
“Siya… Are you feeling sick?” His voice bellowed like that of a drum, but hearing it only made me feel worse.
The air felt like it was thinning. My stomach twisted in knots as a layer of sweat started to cover my skin. ‘I don't want to ask… I don't want to. “Father…”
He watched on intently waiting for me to continue.
‘No, I need to hear him say it.’ “Were you the one that poisoned me?”
He tilted his head. “Well, yes, of course. As I said that was the first step. No, I suppose the first step was actually when I used magic to heal your wounds. This both helped you physically, aided in your body's ability to feel manna, and tested your will. The poison brought you too near death, which in turn–”
“Couldn't you have told me?” I was still calm, at least on the outside, but my mind was in so many places at once not even I knew what words were going to come out of my mouth next.
He shrugged. “It’s not like I was trying to hide it from you.”
“I was unconscious! You weren’t even there when I woke up, Mara had to give me the antidote so I didn’t die!”
His brow furrowed as I raised my voice and I flinched backward, my body covered in chills from the way he looked at me. “Of course she did.” He took his knife, pointing it at his neck. “The thyroid, along with other glands located in the neck. These swell moments before death. She would have placed her hand around your neck waiting for that to happen before she gave it to you.”
“But… Why…” ‘Why you of all people… Why did it have to be you…’
“Between your two bodies, physical training only strengthens one.” He raised his knife, slashing his wrist. “When the body is wounded you react, your body closes the wound, and sends vital nutrients to repair the damaged tissue and generate new tissue.”
The blood ran down his arm, clotting before it even dripped to the floor.
“Poison is the exception, it doesn't just affect your skin and muscles, but the body as a whole, and the mind. When you were brought to near death your mind bridged the gap between the two in a sort of last attempt to save your life. That was when Mara gave you the antidote.”
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I paused as we stared bullets into each other's eyes. “That's not what I meant…” My voice cracked. ‘If he was the one that gave me poison, then what else…’ A memory of Mara’s voice rang through my ears. ‘You don’t want to know…’
“The healing magic, it almost killed me because my body didn't have enough energy to keep up with it.”
“Yes, it tested your mental capacity to force yourself to continue going, if you’re will broke you would have died, but it proved to be strong.”
I gulped. “Why didn’t you just teach me magic the normal way? Without the shortcuts?”
He gritted his teeth. “I thought your training would have been enough. I see now that Mara went too easy on you though, so here we are.”
‘Too easy?’ The scene of her beating me in front of my sister until I couldn’t stand vividly replayed in my mind. ‘The balcony. Was he the one watching?’
The entire room felt suffocating, and before I could even ask my flight response kicked in. ‘I need to get out of here. I need fresh air… To clear my mind.’
The moment I stood up everything around me blurred into a haze. The intense warmth I was feeling before returned, spreading through me like fire.
Everywhere I looked I began seeing faint outlines of the status screens that had come into my vision in the past. My eyes began tracing the movements of my father each motion, every breath, even before he took them as time slowed.
‘No not this… If this keeps up…’ I shut my eyes.
“Siya?”
I felt blood begin to drip from my nose, but it wasn't nearly as severe as all the times in the past. ‘Is it because of what he just did to me?’
I heard a low grumble bellow from his lips as he gently took my head in one hand, reaching behind my neck and fiddling with the small pouch I had hidden in my hair.
‘He knew?’
“Open your mouth.”
‘Of course, he knew… It’s not like it was actually that well hidden anyway…’ I took the last pellet, and my nosebleed stopped shortly after on its own.
Suddenly everything I had done up to that point felt like nothing more than the actions of a child playing a game, living out a fictional world where they could prepare and fight against the forces that wanted to do them harm.
‘It’s all… pointless…’
“Rest your head on the table for a while. I'll cover it to block the light. You’re still not used to manna circulating through your body.” I may not of been able to see, but somehow I still knew exactly where everything was. It was like my memory of the room combined with my senses of touch and hearing giving me an image in my mind of exactly where I was.
It was cool, though, I certainly wasn’t thinking that at the time… My head spun, trying to make sense of it all and I quickly lost my balance falling to the ground.
My father let out an annoyed groan as I hit the floor, only bending down to pick me up after I had fallen.
My fragile reality had shattered into pieces, and all my senses went from being overloaded to completely shut off in an instant.
His large boots hit the ground one after another, creating an echo as time around me continued to slow down. I started counting them but each one seemed miles apart, or more like, I was the one who was slipping further away.
‘One…’
‘Two…’
Everything fell silent.