Mara’s eyes widened a bit in shock. Of course, she had no shortage of reasons to be making that face. I knew full well I was acting like a crazy person, on top of that.
‘This must be the first time I’ve ever asked for a weapon.’
I stopped shaking, and my body finally relaxed. “Is it really over? I’m not so sure…” ‘Not until I bury this thing in the backyard.’
She nodded with a dim smile, trying to reassure me. Still, I could only take her confirmation at face value. She wasn’t there, she didn’t even know what happened. I was glad she was with me at least, that I wasn’t alone, but there was no way things would be over so easily.
“Will you be alright if I step out for a moment? I can bring you back a sword if you really want one.”
I slowly brought my hands over my stomach holding my arm as she picked up the blankets from the floor gently covering me.
“Uhm…” I chuckled nervously, not wanting to have to ask her to stay, but too nervous to hold back my question. “Could you… actually, stay with me…” ‘I need to prepare, but the moment I’m alone would be when I’m the most vulnerable right?’
Her face sank, a mix of sadness and terror covering it. It was like she was looking at a ghost or a corpse.
I let out another nervous laugh. “No never mind it’s fine… I’ll be just fine so go ahead…” ‘I would like to be cautious… but…’ I looked to the side, unable to stand the way she was looking at me.
‘The only thing I ever had going for me was my mental strength, and my capacity to take a beating… If I lose that maybe they really will just kill me…’
After everything she said to me after my arm broke it was hard for me to think she would go that far, but after seeing her face… It wasn’t like all the times she had looked disappointed in me… Somehow it felt far worse than that.
She left, and not long after I heard a loud crash followed by some yelling. My senses were still too dull to pick it up clearly but I could tell It was between Mara and my father. Oddly enough it was almost comforting. After all, if I could hear them, that likely meant that if I did need help I could scream, and they would hear me as well.
Eventually, it all fell silent, and after a short pause I heard a timid knock on my door before I watched it slowly creek open, and my father inching his way inside
“Siya.” He said carefully. It seemed that Mara had taken all of the bravado right out of him. Whatever they were arguing about, she had clearly won. His deep growls and stern looks all seemed like posturing now as he stood before me with sad eyes and a shy voice.
“Haha, so timid now, what happened to my proud father.” It may have sounded like I was just joking around, but I was honestly happy to see him like that. Whatever Mara said to him he deserved it. I knew that for two reasons.
Firstly, I had never heard her even yell at me like that, she was pretty calm and cold, not hot-headed. Secondly, regardless of what he had done exactly to make her angry, he needed a good yelling at him for what he had put me through… Of course… There was no way I could give it to him.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
He smirked. “We’ll be alright…”
I raised my eyebrows, wondering if that was really true. “Mara isn’t the type of person to cool off…” ‘It's not that she holds grudges or anything… It’s more like she is willing to die on any hill she stands on…’
He took a deep breath, shaking his head as he let out a sigh. “Yes well, Love is a fire after all. You can never tell when it will warm your hearth… Or burn down your house.”
He walked over to the window, watching Mara intently as she walked to the barracks. His eyes never left, staring at her with a distant longing, that told me he had regrets.
“If you’re burning down your own house you’re either an idiot or you’re incompetent.”
He let out an annoyed groan. “In any relationship, if a person changes the dynamic shifts, so even if only one is willing to change it will be enough for now…” I saw his back straighten as his presence slowly became colder.
“I suppose a wise mind changes his mind while a fool never will…” I grimaced, noticing his change in behavior and the deepening of his voice. “I never liked that saying much though.”
“He turned to face me. And what saying is it that you prefer then…” His expression matched my own as the tension between us grew.
“If you want light in your life, you need to stand where it shines, and not let others drag you out of it.”
He let out another growl.
‘This is stupid, I don't even know what the fight was about, there's no point making him angry over it.’
“Siya, when you were in the room, did you learn anything? Can you feel the manna flowing through you again?” He simply moved on, getting straight to the point. It was as if he had been absolved of whatever wrongdoing Mara accused him of.
My body started to feel cold. It made sense that he wouldn't ask something like (Are you ok) first, especially because in a way I showed him that I already was. But it still bothered me.
It made it hard for me to be anything but cold to him. ‘He doesn't even know what he put me through… But he was was there, he saw what it did to me…’
“What I learned…” I thought back to Khazack. It was funny, because I could honestly see him asking that simple question, and he wasn’t even a person. “The purpose of magic is to change reality,” I said, paraphrasing my teacher's words.
“Anything else?”
“That I can use it, and that I shouldn't rely just on knowledge and facts.”
“So then, do you still have a shattered mind?”
I looked down at my hands. For some reason as my body felt colder, my joints became more stiff. It wasn’t like the cold I had felt before though. I could still feel the manna flowing through me. “I don’t think so. I can force manna to flow through me now. I’m still not good at controlling that flow, but it’s there.”
“Hm…” He stroked his beard. “What exactly happened to you in there.”
I suppose that was in a way him asking if I was alright, but the fact that it was the last thing he asked bothered me more than if he had not asked at all.
“I passed the first lesson, after that, there was a test before the second. I had to get to the center of the platform in the middle of the room.
“You what?”
“He said I had to get to the center before he would begin the second lesson.”
“I see…” It seemed like he was confused, and that he had a lot of questions already, but that he wanted me to continue.
“I just had to light up the room and get to the center, but there was this… Black void where the platform was…”
Chills ran down my arms and I slowly tried to rub them to keep myself warm. I kept opening and closing my mouth, trying to speak, but no words would come out.
“Siya.”
I cleared my throat. “S-sory.” ‘I guess I’m still not over it yet…’
“It's fine. Continue.”
My mouth went dry as I continued, carefully saying each word, one after the other, trying to keep myself calm, but each word came out faster than the last. “Before long I heard a shadowy voice whisper in my ear, and then shrieks, and metal chains dragging across the floor–”
“Did you see anything?”
My body became colder still, my voice calm, but dry and icey. “A faceless creature with massive arms that was completely suspended by chains.”
“A ghoul… Is that what the tower made you see?” His face finally softened a bit, and for a moment I almost thought I saw pity in his eyes.
“A demon at least… One that could talk… It was trying to make me afraid. It wasn’t like it was toying with me either, it was like causing me to feel fear was its only goal.”
I pulled my knees to my chest. I wasn't shaking at least but constantly thinking back to that horrible monster still wasn't something I wanted to do. “I don’t think it was something the tower made me see either… It was real… And whatever it is, it’s not done.”