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Chapter 138: False Nerves

I felt a sharp pinch on my warm skin that made me quickly flinch and tighten my grip around my pillow. My body quickly started to wake up, but there was no adrenaline as if my nervous system was telling me to just forget about it and keep sleeping.

‘A spider bite maybe?’ Everything started to blur together as my mind stayed halfway in my dream. I could see my sister from my past life gently pinching my cheek and letting out a playful chuckle as she shook me around.

“How are you still asleep, wake up already I need to get moving.”

I hugged my pillow tighter. “Just five more minutes, ok sis? Wait, 5 minutes is like nothing. Give me 15 more… You know Leonardo da Vinci took 20-minute naps… So actually that sounds good instead…” I was more exhausted than I thought, and so when I finally relaxed I slept so deeply it would take more than a couple words to snap me out of it.

She groaned loudly. “Who the heck is Leonardo!” After a short pause, she groaned again. “Forget it, just let go of me already so I can get up at least.”

‘That was a nice dream… But why is my pillow talking? It couldn’t actually be my sister, I sleep alone, and she’s not even from this world… I didn’t die again did I?’ The thought crossed my mind, but I was indifferent at the prospect, it was what it was.

I slowly opened my blurry eyes for the first time, hugging my pillow tighter as I yawned. It was so warm, like a nice heating pad. I couldn’t bring myself to let go. But… It felt strange and didn’t change in shape the way I was used to.

As my vision slowly cleared from a blur I started to realize it wasn’t my pillow I was hugging at all, but my sister Lu, my head resting on her chest as I held her close…

I quickly let go, thinking about how I mistook her for a pillow, and just how out of it I was when I first started to wake up. ‘Why do I feel like the younger sister…’

I sat up, staying on the bed while she quickly jumped out from under the blankets and started to change into her battle gear. She didn’t just put on training clothes like I had, but full armor, as if she was going to war.

“Hey, sis?” I called out to her, my sense of touch still catching up with the present, half feeling like I hadn’t moved at all, and I was still holding onto her.

She paused, looking back at me after she tightened her breastplate, tucking the laces in so they wouldn’t get caught on anything. “Yeah?”

‘How did she change so fast?’ I looked at her and then down at myself, realizing just how many reasons there were to feel like she was really the (older) sister. “You’re 13 now right?”

“Shouldn’t you know? We have the same birthday.” After a brief pause, She let out a sigh, realizing I wasn’t going to respond. “Yeah, I think it was two weeks ago now. Actually… You were probably unconscious, so it makes sense you would forget, given everything that’s been going on…”

She was bigger than me, more muscular for sure but that wasn’t all. She was taller, her bones were thicker leading to larger hands and feet, and of course, her chest was bigger too, that probably being the main reason I mistook her for a pillow.

To an extent it made sense. She hit her growth spurts really early, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel a certain way about it… Although, admittedly, most of what I was feeling was worry, if she looked more mature than her age it seemed like that could invite problems after we got to school…

When she grabbed her greatsword off the wall though… Most of that worry was put to rest. Still… “You should really work on your hand-to-hand combat more. You’re plenty good with a sword already.”

Taking a close look at it, she firmly placed it on her back, latching it into position. “I’d rather get good enough to win a fight with my weapon first… Before I worry about what happens if I lose it.”

‘Can’t argue with that… But honestly not what I was getting at. Oh well, she’s about as strong as most of the guards, so I doubt anyone would be able to pull anything on her anyway’ “Just don’t walk around crowded places or go out by yourself alright.” ‘what was the other thing Dad would always tell me?’

I let out a sigh. My memory from my new life was perfect, but my older memories… The ones I cared about the most, were somehow unaffected by whatever powers I had. Rubbing my eyes I tried to clear my mind. ‘I’m not there anymore, any advice like that wouldn’t even make sense to her right now…’ “Sorry, I guess I’m still half asleep.” I mumbled, stretching my arms before finally sliding out of bed.

The moment my feet hit the floor, our apparent height difference became all too real… Bringing my attention right back to how much bigger she was.

I already knew I was a shrimp, but I had a feeling she would be even bigger than our mom. “Genetics aren’t fair…” I muttered, hiding the embarrassment I was starting to feel about the whole situation. Honestly, after fully waking up… I was still coming to grips with the fact I mistook her for my dream pillow.

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Of course, with the embarrassment came the desire to hide back under the blankets, which came with the realization that my amazing, soft, warm, comfy pillow wouldn’t be there… It was a vicious circle of thought…

She finished putting on her armor, tightening her arm protectors before banging them together, rattling my ears as she checked to see if they were secure. “Get moving already, you have work to do too don’t you? You can borrow some of my clothes since yours all got trashed by that monster… A- and the rest got ruined yesterday… Take these.”

She threw me an old shirt and pants. “Mom had these made for me when I was still growing. You should be able to change their size. Go find Dad and get done with your training already so we can stop worrying about you.”

“Thanks… But, uhm.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, what is it now?”

I chuckled nervously. “I mean, not all my clothes were destroyed. My room is just down the hall and… Even if it wasn’t… I’m too embarrassed to change in front of you, so…” My cold feet started timidly moving towards the door

I may not have needed them… But I thought the clothes looked cool, so I was taking them with me.

“You sure you want to go back to your room?”

I turned around, standing in the doorway. ‘What's that supposed to mean?’ “Yeah… I should be fine…”

She narrowed her eyes, unlatching her greatsword from her back and carrying it by her side. “I’ll come with you ok?”

“O…K…” Her presence was honestly the only thing making me nervous. ‘Why does she feel like she needs to follow me around with that huge sword all the sudden?’

We made it to my room and the tension only continued to build. ‘This is stupid! What could possibly be in my room that we would need to fight!? There’s no way another demon would be there right? She probably just grabbed her sword for whatever she needs her armor for.’

I froze just before turning the handle. ‘Right?’ I looked back at Lu, firmly grasping her hilt. The moment I turned away and placed my hand on the door nob I heard the small clink from her crossgaurd separating from the scabbard and nearly wet myself. Tensing up so bad I forgot to breathe for a moment. ‘I-it’s fine right? I mean it's my room. Sure the demon attacked me there but it’s still the room I sleep in every night…. And the room I got poisoned in… And where My father almost killed me with healing magic… And where I used to injure my feet tripping over old broken floorboards… I changed my mind, maybe it’s not such a safe place…’

I turned back to Lu. ‘wanting to ask her to go first. Unlike me, she seemed perfectly calm.

“It’s ok Siya. I got your back.”

I felt a chill run through my whole body. ‘N-no… I’m the older sister now, right? This is ridiculous. Even if the demon was back it’s daytime now…’

No matter what justification I gave myself I couldn’t shake the tension in my body. It was like so many bad things had happened that it was impossible for me to rationally think that I could go anywhere without some other crazy thing almost killing me. ‘It's ok? No, she’s right, yeah that's right. It’s ok… Everything is…’

“Nothing about this feels ok!” I yelled, my nervousness finally breaking through. Taking a deep breath I let out a long sigh, throwing open the door and confidently marching inside just like I had thousands of times before. To my surprise, or lack thereof, everything was normal.

Lu carefully stepped in behind me like a crouching tiger. “It's… all fixed?”

I closed my eyes, feeling like I had just avoided a heart attack as relief washed over me. “Yup… awhile ago actually.” ‘She seriously didn’t know?’

“But then… Why did you sleep in my room?”

We paused and stared at each other blankly.

“Because… you told me too…”

She suddenly turned bright red as another, much longer silence swept over the room.

‘Did she really think I had nowhere else to sleep? She must have felt bad because I was sleeping outside her door and she didn’t think I had a bed… That's… Kind of sweet of her actually.’

“Y-you must have been scared though right? That the demon would come back. I mean you were attacked right here, that must have affected you in some way right?”

I can’t lie, it was really cute watching her try to come up with some greater reason that made it so I had to share a bed with her. Especially since there wasn’t one.

Honestly speaking it was a bit unsettling sleeping alone, at least before my room was fixed. As far as I was concerned I had bigger problems than the demon though. For the next few days anyway.

Besides, I was still diving head-first into the abyss most nights, as if my other training didn’t wear me out enough. I was so tired I couldn’t even remember the last time I had a dream.

I yawned just thinking about it, walking over to my bed and sitting down. “I’m not too worried about that thing right now. I almost killed it and then Mara beat it up some more after that. Since I haven’t been that afraid lately… It uh… ‘afraid? Right. I haven’t been afraid, just anxious.’ “It… It’s probably healing even slower than the expected rate, if at all.”

She turned away from me, looking out the window. “You must’ve been scared of being alone though. I-I mean I hear a lot of soldiers talk about being different after walking away from fights like that.”

I let out another sigh. ‘Is she that embarrassed about it happening if there isn’t a good reason for it?’ “Honestly I just wanted to make sure you didn’t hate me after we fought like that. So… That was why I wanted to talk to you.”

“O-oh… So that was what this was all about was it?”

We both paused again as she continued to awkwardly stare out the window while facing me, solely so she wouldn’t have to face me. ‘As funny and cute as this is… I’m tired.’ “Lu…”

She finally fixed her eyes back on me. Still beat red, moving almost robotically.

“Can you leave so I can get changed now…”

Her eyes narrowed again as she seemed to finally start to normalize. “You get embarrassed about the strangest things.”

“I get… about the…” My words jumbled together as she walked out, closing the door behind her.

“But the…” I looked over at the mattress right in front of me. ‘I’m already tired again, maybe I should just go back to bed…’ I closed my eyes, imagining the feeling of how warm and soft her blankets were… And was quickly disappointed at the prospect of my own bed, which was cold for sure.

I let out a long groan as I started changing, getting ready for whatever the final lesson would be. ‘I’m already up, I might as well just get going… I probably have a lecture to sit through before the abuse and all the growling. Oh, but how will I make time for lunch?’ I rolled my eyes at my own sarcastic thoughts and let out a groan. ‘Maybe if I just start growling back then neither of us can communicate, that wouldn’t be so bad.’