Chapter 48 - Gas Leak

Fang’s Epic Bro-newal Ceremony

The realest Nyx with an irrefutable backstory.

And there you have it!

See? My plans for Horus and Eris were going perfectly. Or, close enough.

Irrefutable proof that I had spies everywhere. That my sanity was in tip top shape.

“Is it, though?” Cole murmured, shaking his head. “How does you telling yet another story prove that the spies are real? Couldn’t you have just made it all up?”

I must have been glaring because the elf swallowed hard and quickly course corrected. “Or, at least, I imagine that’s what someone could wonder. But definitely not me. I believe you, for sure.”

Hmm. I wasn’t buying it.

Actually, most of the audience still looked skeptical. Fang was rubbing at his temples, Lili was just super quiet, and… wait, why are you all looking at me like that? What’s wrong now? Are you really siding with the tourists? With Cole?

With all of their pesky, irrelevant questions?

Like, “What did that have to do with anything?”

And, “Right? He didn’t even mention his so-called spies?”

Also, “And if they really exist, then why can’t he just show us one?”

That last one was Fang. The doubtful trash goblin staring expectantly.

“They are, uh… otherwise occupied,” I insisted, crossing my arms in a very relaxed fashion. “They’re busy. Plus, they already brought everything that we need, didn’t they?” I demanded, pointing at the decorations.

Fang started to open his doubtful, slanderous mouth again—

“Actually, this only makes the continuity issues worse. For example, how do you know what happened to Horus and Eris and Danae before they arrived in Apati,” the siren offered slowly – our former head tour-guide turned professional fucking skeptic. “And aren’t your stories actually too detailed?”

Fang pointed at him. “Exactly!” he hissed.

“Well, um… that’s just…”

“Ruining your bro-newal!” Lili supplied, coming to my aid, the words itching up my arm in a long line. “It’s natural for partners – especially long-term platonic partners – to keep secrets. How else do they maintain the, err, the magic in their relationship?”

Finally! At least, someone had my back.

“No, no it is not natural,” Fang hissed. “We should tell him the truth. I have said this many, many times but you ignore me.”

That gave me pause. It was just odd to hear coming from Fang.

Lili’s corrupted energy abruptly flared, more ratholes opening behind my bromate. However, he was ready this time. He dodged the [Hex] needles with perfect, fluid precision.

“You cannot just silence me again. He needs to know,” Fang insisted, glaring at my right hand, the skin pitch black and coils of corruption lashing at the air.

“He’s not ready. You don’t know what will happen—”

“Uh, what’s going on? I’m kind of lost,” I interjected gently.

“What’s happening is that Fang’s making a scene. Again,” Lili snapped. “This is exactly why he told me to subdue him. He’s ruining the ceremony. It’s my duty to, uh, stop him from destroying your bronewal—”

“She is lying,” Fang sputtered as he dodged and ducked and weaved another dozen shadowy portals, our audience watching with wide eyes and tense limbs as needles and steam blew past them. “Every time I try to tell you, she does this—"

Hmm. It was starting to feel like maybe they weren’t on the same page; that they weren’t actually working together? Come on, you see it too, right? It can’t just be me…

Although, didn’t that mean at least one of them was lying? Or both?

And some parts were probably true-ish. I mean, they must have been working together a little bit, right? Because they kept dropping these tantalizing hints at subtext that I wasn’t part of – or simply didn’t remember. And if Fang had asked Lili to help him, why was she stopping him from telling me some sort of “truth?” That’s all I’d wanted for weeks, wasn’t it? Was this what she’d been talking about back in the Fin-Fan Factory cafeteria with that all that cryptic and pointed criticism of LaWD?

Or could this just be more bullshit from Fang? Wasn’t this out of character for him? To tell the truth, I mean? Hadn’t he been doing the opposite for a long, long time? Dodging my incessant questions and hiding in closets?

Man, my head was really starting to hurt…

It didn’t help that Fang and Lili were shouting and fighting, the forge now filled with mist as Fang dodged a barrage of tiny, corrupted needles and snapping chains. And I could have sworn he was trying to cut off my right hand. Like he was really going at it. But Maribel wasn’t letting him, her shield blocking his attacks.

Apparently, she was also team Lili? How was I supposed to interpret that?

Meanwhile, Cole was huddled behind the anvil, using it as cover. And our audience – our witnesses – were cowering in their pews. Raising ratskin tarps to ward off the mist. They looked sort of… intrigued? Surprisingly invested in the relationship drama between Fang and Lili and not looking at me at all. Which was wrong on many levels.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

I was starting to feel like—like a side character.

In short, these two were ruining my bro-newal ceremony.

Then I hesitated. Or was this simply an opportunity in disguise?

A chance to finally force them to tell me all of their juicy secrets?

Fang and Lili were no longer on the same team. All of us were secluded in an underground hellforge that felt strangely like home. Plenty of complete strangers to act as our audience… or jury? To hold court on our family’s dysfunctional issues and judge us all harshly. But mostly Fang and Lili because I’d obviously been horribly mistreated.

Which, of course, they knew. Since I’d told them the whole story.

Yeah, that’s right. It was time for a whole new kind of group therapy. But with public scrutiny, lots of judgement, and penetrating questions!

I was smiling so super hard right now…

“Okay, everyone stop!” I demanded.

As I spoke, I retook control of my core, wrapping it in thick layers of nimbus until it shone like the sun in my mind’s eye – more than enough to stop Lili in her tracks, the corruption fading from my hand. The one I held up to Fang, his blade glancing off the manacle of my trusty arm chain before he backed away, daggers still clutched in his claws.

Then they both started talking at once—

“Listen to me, she is lying—” Fang began.

“I’ll kill that scaly son of a brood—” Lili roared.

“Enough. Stop,” I insisted, raising my hand again. “We’re going to handle this like a family. In a civil way with no fighting or stabbing – front or back,” I added for Fang’s benefit. He let out a hiss of disappointment, the clone sneaking up behind me breaking apart.

“Then… what do you suggest?” Fang demanded, his knives disappearing.

“We were on the objections part of the ceremony, right Cole?”

“Yeah, yeah… I guess we were, maybe?” he muttered, grudgingly rising from his hiding spot behind the anvil and reviewing his script – the one I’d written for him. It was rather damp now. Another thing Lili and Fang’s infighting had ruined.

“Good. In that case, I object!” I said, raising my own hand.

Everyone was staring at me now – even Fang. He actually looked upset.

I had mixed feelings about that. Mostly good ones, though.

It was the implication of the thing, you know?

“You object to what?” Cole asked tentatively.

“One or both of them are lying,” I said, nodding at Fang and pointing at my right hand. “And this is no way to renew our bromantic vows, with a mountain of secrets and lies. Our blackmail should be out in the open. Honest, direct threats. That’s the foundation of true friendship. So, the question is… who is it? Who’s full of shit?”

I looked out across our audience – our jury – all of them staring in silence.

Like they were waiting for something. Probably some incredible reveal. A demonstration of my genius budding into full bloom.

And normally, I’d deliver, except…

“No, uh, seriously, which one is it? I could really use some help,” I offered.

The guides and tourists still looked like I was trying to trick them.

Which was fair. I might deserve that.

“I think they’re both lying,” the head tour-guide declared finally.

Ahh, finally! That there it was. I knew I could count on complete strangers to solve our relationship issues with only my wild stories and zero context.

“Obviously, Fang lied about his family and Elder Gracen and that he was going along with Nyx’s business plan… and maybe that he was hosting this bro-newal ceremony,” the siren continued, rubbing at his many chins in thought.

Although, perhaps I’d been wrong about his title. Obviously, the sirens were emotionally well adjusted and fantastic at dealing with interpersonal conflicts. Likely a product of being stuck on a ship for cycles at a time with their own family.

My brother-in-thickness Lipos had taught me that.

Which meant maybe this one wasn’t a tour-guide.

Maybe this one was a therapist.

One that would poke and prod at our relationship in painful detail.

“Or this whole bro-newal might just be Nyx’s madness,” another member of the audience confirmed, watching me closely. Our therapist nodded, chins #3 and #4 wobbling.

“That does seem more likely,” someone else confirmed.

Wait, what the fuck did they just say? Hold on—

“Fair enough. Then what has Lili been lying about?” Someone else demanded.

“Working with Fang? Clearly, they’re not on the same page.”

Fang was nodding rapidly now. “Exactly,” he hissed.

“Yes, it’s clear that they’re both lying, but I’m still stuck on one thing…” our therapist murmured, his eyes on me for some reason. “Nyx still hasn’t explained how he knows what happened to Horus and Eris before they arrived in Apati. I mean, they could have told his “spies,” I guess – but he certainly didn’t explain that part, did he?”

“And he still hasn’t proven those spies are real,” Cole offered. Yet again.

I frowned at that. He was really harping on that one point—

“And don’t forget Demi and Emporos,” another person piped up.

“Yeah, there’s no way he could have known about them. Aren’t they in some sort of pocket universe inside the Flow that isn’t subject to the natural laws of time and space?”

Wow. It just seemed like they were attacking me again.

“Is there a point to this?” I demanded. “We’re supposed to be figuring out what Fang and Lili are lying about,” I reminded them. Again.

Our head therapist rose from his seat with a grunt and a heave, turning to address the audience. “A good starting point. But what if, in fact, all three of them are lying!”

Gasps of surprise echoed through the room.

Or… well, I wish they had. They all seemed pretty unsurprised.

Honestly, that kind of hurt worse.

“Wait, what? I’m not lying to anyone—” I began.

“Perhaps not on purpose,” our therapist interjected, whirling. “But your corrupted spirit infects your whole vessel doesn’t it? Even your mind? This Lili?”

“Well… yes, but—” I began hesitantly.

“Then why don’t you remember her talking to Fang? Coordinating this bro-newal ceremony you insist he planned?”

Well, that was because, uh…

Our therapist kept going. “Is it possible Lili can affect your perception of events? Alter your memory? Change what you perceive? Couldn’t your spirit have been lying to you the whole time? Making you imagine whatever she wanted?”

“Yes, yes that is what I have been saying!” Fang insisted. “She is a liar.”

Those were all… fantastic, horrifying questions. I mean, I’d been having weird memory lapses lately. Time felt sort of skippy. Almost like I could fast forward and rewind and pause. And there were some memories that felt out of place. Or maybe out of order? Things I knew that maybe I shouldn’t? Like with Emporos and Demi?

How had I known those things? When had I—

I shook my head. The memories were fuzzy and my head still really hurt – a headache that pounded behind my temples like a drum. Which, uh, wasn’t a good sign, was it?

“And what about the letters to Horus?” our therapist demanded.

I looked up, blinking blearily. “What?”

“You wrote him letters. Recipes and advice. At least, that’s what you told us. Don’t you remember that?”

I frowned. I, uh… I mean, I remember that he got them, but did I write them?

Even worse, there was this weird, sickly feeling coiling my gut. Like that hollow expanse in my chest was growing, swallowing up my body’s warmth.

Suddenly, this wasn’t as fun as I thought.

Wait, I was probably just hungry! Maybe because I hadn’t eaten in ages and I’d used all that nimbus to help open the gate. “Uh, maybe this is a good time for a snack break—”

“Of course, Nyx probably can’t answer,” our therapist continued, this time speaking to the audience, waving at me as I stood there blinking rapidly and cradling my head. “Not if his memory is impaired. There’s only one person who can answer our questions.”

His eyes turned to me, sharp and piercing, one bulbous finger pointing at my hand.

“What do you have to say, Lili?” he demanded. “Did Nyx really write those letters?”

She was quiet – too quiet. Perfectly silent and still. No longer raging against my barrier of nimbus, even as the energy gradually retreated.

And then those telltale black letters began to itch up my skin…

“No. I wrote the letters.”

Which, uh, seemed like perfect time for an intermission.

I mean, I imagine Danae was having much more fun…