Chapter 46 - Renewal

The Underground Hell Forge Tour/Escape Room

The REAL Nyx. Budding Genius. Entrepreneur. Battle Daddy. Bromate.

Which brings us to now – to the present.

To the culmination of days and weeks and months of dragging my death wagon, traversing a screaming death forest, making new friends, but also committing furry genocide on the entire demon monkey species and imprisoning the survivors. Of surprise parties and horrific and emotionally crippling secrets and home renovations. Of endless tangents and side stories and unnecessary detail that has all been building to this singular moment.

The climax, if you will.

Because I finally knew Fang’s plan.

It was obvious, wasn’t it?

His lies and secrets and general grumpiness had all been an act. One intended to lure me in. Get me incredibly excited. To whip my curiosity into a manic frenzy.

Telling me to, “Stay away.”

Or that, “We’ll all die horribly.”

Specifically, inside the Hellforge.

But why here? Why this place?

This big, inexplicable, and yet strangely nostalgic lightless hole in the ground filled with dust and mold and lined with thick stone blocks. With a burning portal to hell that felt like it was watching me like the eye of some monstrous beast – the warmth of the magma strangely reassuring. The complete lack of bathrooms giving the place a familiar, pungent aroma. Fang even had the foresight to bring tour-guides to act as decoys – to distract me from his master plan, of course. His message. One not spoken with words, but painted with his feelings. Because I knew just what this was…

We celebrated this day every cycle back in the hell sewer – or, at least, I did. The anniversary of that moment when our souls had connected.

Specifically, the day our bromance was born.

Yes, that’s right. I can see that the slower ones among you finally see it now.

Fang had been planning our annual “Bro-newal Ceremony.”

That’s why there was the arch over the anvil. The garlands of metal flowers strewn across its surface and welded to the walls and strung overtop the many pews – all of which were filled with our audience. Our witnesses. All of them sitting there sweating and fidgeting and eyeing the exit nervously. Lured here with the promise of treasure…

And I was positive they would treasure this moment forever.

This was Fang’s way of finally rewarding me for all of my tireless effort. Dragging the wagon. Planning an incredible and fun-filled family vacation. For forcing him out of the closet with his family. And for rebuilding his childhood home into something bigger, better, and significantly more profitable. This was his way of saying thank—

“No, no it is not!” Fang snapped – the scaly trash goblin finally cracking and breaking his extended silence. “This is madness!”

I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I’d finally made him talk.

On the other? Well, he was doubling down on the lies…

“Then why are you still here?” I demanded, crossing my arms.

“Because you forced me,” Fang hissed in irritation. “I cannot pull the wagon and all my loot is here – held hostage by our creditors.”

Ahh, right. I guess I had done that.

That’s also how I’d convinced him to wear the tux. The one his brothers and uncles had designed and sewn for him. I have to admit, he looked sharp. Even sharper than normal. It might have been the hidden pockets for all his concealed blades.

Honestly, it hadn’t even been that hard to convince him.

More proof that this was all part of his plan!

Fang just let out a long slow hiss of pain.

“That is not proof of anything. The suit is… well made,” he hedged.

“Fine. Then what about the arch?” I offered, pointing overhead. “All of these lovely decorations? It certainly looks like a bronewal ceremony, doesn’t it?”

He snorted, rolling his huge glowing eyes. “I did not build these pews, or this arch or the garlands of flowers, did I? You did.”

“Actually, we did,” Cole piped up, the elf standing on the other side of the anvil, the two of us facing off before him. He was wearing a robe and looked rather sweaty. Probably because he was so close to the hell portal. Our audience were also a little indignant, shuffling and muttering and glaring very unappreciatively.

“Right? I spent hours on those garlands.”

“Don’t even get me started on the lava trench…”

“The idea to make it sketch the outline of a rat was my idea.”

Okay, I felt like we were getting sidetracked.

“Not now, Cole,” I whispered.

“I’m just saying, we should get some credit,” the elf muttered. “It took a lot of work to set this up and your instructions were less than clear—”

Another glare silenced him.

Shit. And Fang was gloating again – his eyes taunting.

“Okay, fine. Our audience helped a little—which I very much appreciate,” I declared hastily, mostly for their benefit. “But aren’t you responsible for that audience being here?”

“What? How?” Fang demanded, looking confused.

“Well, if you’d told me about the Hellforge earlier, it would have just been the two of us – but, instead, you waited until our creditors arrived. Which can only mean one thing? You wanted to make sure our bronewal ceremony had witnesses!”

Silence met that declaration. And then…

“I hate to admit it, but he does have a point.”

“If Fang really didn’t want to be here, couldn’t he have just run away?”

See? The crowd was coming around. Even Cole looked uncertain.

“There is a certain insane logic to it,” the elf muttered.

“No! No, there is not!” Fang insisted, looking desperate. Then his eyes landed on the corruption threading my hand and arm. “Lili! Lili knows. Tell them the truth.”

Wait, what? Were they working together?

A short, somewhat suspicious pause and then, “I, uh, well… fine. To be honest, I’ve been in on his plan since the beginning,” Lili answered with a sigh. “I just felt like you deserved something nice, Nyx.”

Oh. My. Gods. I fucking knew it!

So, the memory lapses and cageyness and weird double entendre must have been—

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

“All part of his bromantic plan,” Lili confirmed incredibly fast.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Fang demanded, his eyes watching me suspiciously. “What is she saying? Lili, tell him the truth – not more lies. It is time.”

“Oh, don’t worry. She did,” I said, taking Fang’s clawed hand in mine. “I can’t believe the two of you were working together on this. Honestly, I thought she hadn’t forgiven you after you ruined our business meeting. I guess that was just another clever misdirection. All so you could avoid showing me how much you cared.”

“What? No, it was not. I do not care about—"

My arm itched, dark text appearing there. “Really? You don’t? I mean, I get why I’m here – since I’m stuck with him. But you could have left whenever.”

Fang just stared wide-eyed at my arm. “Why are you enabling him? You know this is not real, Lili. Just tell him what we have been hiding—”

Suddenly, a few needles of darkness punched through Fang’s scales, and he lost the ability to speak, his shark-like teeth clacking ominously but no words escaping.

My brow furrowed in confusion. “What was—”

“I just silenced him with [Hex]. He told me to,” Lili replied reassuringly. “It was all, um, part of his plan. He made me promise not to let his own emotional insecurity ruin it.”

Wow. Fang had thought that far ahead?

I was so impressed with him right now – my bromate straining against my iron grip and screaming something silently at me. I could see his feelings written all across his face, his eyes locked on mine and pleading desperately. Probably for me to get on with it.

And who was I to deny him?

“Babies!” I called out.

Majestic, discordant organ music began playing as #3 tickled the tubes that we had along the wall with a thick layer of poo-crete. Meanwhile, #1 and #2 swept down the aisle, careful to step over the troughs of molten lava. They grabbed handfuls of metal flowers and threw them really hard at the guests – the guides and tourists flinching and doing their best to block the shrapnel, the screams of the wounded adding to the rising chorus. The extra flowers fell into the lava where they sizzled and melted, smoke wafting and coiling around the crowd’s feet before sweeping down the aisle.

Then my babies came to a rest beside me, pulling back their hoods and their beautiful crimson eyes locked on mine. They looked so happy for me.

“Ahem, Cole?” I demanded, noticing the elf watching my murder babies with horror in his eyes. “The vows,” I offered, gesturing at Fang’s little notebook in his hands.

“Ahh, right… right,” the elf replied, coughing into his hand.

Several long seconds passed. “Wow, this is so long,” he murmured, his eyes still skimming the page. “And weird. Are you really sure you want me to read—"

“Just read it,” I hissed at him.

I’d worked on it really hard.

“Uh, okay… Nyx and Fang, I am honored to share this special day with you and your victims – err, or, I mean guests,” Cole amended nervously, eyeing the audience.

“While many people think that forging a bromantic union is the pinnacle of a platonic friendship, in reality it is just one step in a life-long journey. This journey will at times challenge your bond and test your convictions but the enduring blackmail, lies, and secrets the two of you have collected on each other have given you the motivation to face them together. Today we gather to renew the vows you made to your partner many cycles ago.”

“Okay, that wasn’t so bad,” Cole muttered under his breath.

He sucked in another deep breath and pushed forward.

Meanwhile, I just stared into Fang’s eyes.

While he silently screamed his love back at me.

“Bromance is a covenant that grows stronger through time and shared experiences. Like threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the cycles, thickening and growing until they become solid and strong and sometimes even real. Chains that bind the two of you together in the unholy bonds of true bromance.

“And today we weave another thread?” Cole recited in confusion. “Ahh—”

He cut off as he saw me wrapping my arm chain around Fang’s claws.

It was, uh, symbolic. The pulsing, dark shadow aura rippling across the metal was mostly for show. Also, to slow Fang down if he tried to run.

“Cole?” I muttered. “The vows?”

“Right, um, now we shall have each of you read from the—the bro-code…”

The elf trailed off, his eyes darting down the page and his lips slipping into an awkward, horrified frown. “What is this?” he muttered.

“It’s really not that important,” I explained quickly, glancing awkwardly at our audience. They also looked curious. Too curious maybe. “We could, uh, probably skip it since Lili had to silence Fang.”

“Are these real?” Cole demanded. “Did you write these rules?”

“We both did,” I answered in a clipped voice and not all at all defensively. “We each got to pick our own rules. And once the list started getting long and kind of awkward, we had to write it down. Eventually it became our… our bro-code.”

“I shall not make my bromate haul trash more than twice per day?” Cole asked.

“Rest days are important,” I muttered.

“I shall not nibble on my bromate—”

“Ahh, well that one has exceptions—”

“Unless Lili is super cranky and threatening to take over my vessel or its necessary to defeat an unstoppable boss monster,” Cole murmured. “Yes, yes, I see that.

“Anyway, just skip down to the last part,” I insisted. The crowd was murmuring and looking kind of judgy. We were losing them.

“Ahh, right…” Cole muttered, his eyes skimming. “Here we go—”

“Does anyone here object to this bromantic union?”

Just a formality. We’d had very few objections back in the hell sewer. Mostly just Lili – which actually made her recent support kind of odd, didn’t it?

Anyway, I guess that was just a testament to how people could grow. How those chains binding us together had gotten stronger over time. Besides, it didn’t matter. Since she was on board, there wasn’t anyone who would—

“Um, yes, you in the back,” Cole called out.

My head whipped around, even Fang going still – no longer straining to speak or run away. One of the tour-guides had a question, his hand raised for some fucking reason.

“Uh, so I’ve been wondering something?” the man began timidly.

“Right, well, go ahead,” Cole offered.

“Is it really safe to be holding this, err… delightful bro-renewal ceremony here?”

“That’s not the sort of objection he’s talking about—” I began, trying to head off the inevitable random and intrusive nonsense that had nothing to do with our bromance—

“Isn’t it, though?” another tourist piped up, raising her hand. “Isn’t where you choose to hold your bro-renewal a reflection on your relationship? And this is the most dangerous spot you could have picked. Is it… is it possible that the two of you only know how to be together when you’re being hunted or chased or you’re about to die?”

Well… shit. That was actually a really insightful—

“Thank you for your question. Okay, you there, head tour-guide,” Cole offered gesturing at the siren in the front pew. The extra-wide one with the tusks.

“Something has been bothering me for a while now,” the siren grumbled, rubbing at his chins. “How does Nyx know what happened to Eris and Horus?”

A sudden silence descended across the forge.

“Now that you mention it, he’s right. Wouldn’t Nyx have gone into Hellforge before Horus and Eris even showed up in Apati?” Someone else piped up.

“Maybe PK?” another offered.

“But he didn’t say the poison kitty could talk.”

“Yet he seemed to understand the creature and give it orders, didn’t he?”

“True… but you can’t explain away Demi. How would he know any of that? All that stuff about her deal with Emporos and the meteor?”

I blinked. Blinked again.

There was a lot to process here…

“Uh, what does any of this have to do with their relationship?” Cole offered, side-eying me nervously, my arm itching as Lili wrote him a hasty note. The elf read the corrupted text aloud, “We should, uh, at least keep the questions relevant in… um, respect for the ceremony.”

“Really?” Cole mouthed at Lili and she just gave him a quick hand wiggle.

“It goes to Nyx’s sanity,” the head tour-guide offered with a shrug.

“Yeah, can Nyx even consent to this bro-newal?”

“And what about Fang? Are we just supposed to believe he’s really going along with this? He’s tied up. Plus, Nyx seems to be nibbling on,”

I guess that was all technically true.

But I had to or Fang would just make a misty and escape!

You heard Lili? He wanted this!

“Which sounds a lot like rape, doesn’t it?” someone asked.

“And a clear violation of the bro-code. Do you see a boss?”

Cole was starting to waver. “Hmm, well that’s sort of fair…”

This had gone on long enough. I needed to defend myself.

“Okay, first off, Fang was asking for it,” I finally interjected. “Literally. You heard Lili – he asked her to shut him up and keep him here because he’s aware of his horrible trust issues and his emotionally avoidant behavior. That’s a step forward for our relationship.”

They were all mulling on that, not yet convinced.

“Fine, but what about the others then? How do you know what’s happening to them?” Someone called out. I couldn’t tell which one of them had asked.

And Cole and Fang weren’t saying a word – frozen in place and watching me attentively. Even Lili had gone quiet.

I understood their hesitation. They likely thought I was upset.

However, I wasn’t. There was no way I could be angry or offended by these overly critical jerks pointing out the obvious continuity issues in my story and directly challenging my own sanity. Or for interrupting the bro-newal ceremony Fang had planned for me. This was just a part of the process. In fact, it was an opportunity.

I’ve always had a penchant for storytelling.

“The answer is easy,” I said, raising my eyes to meet our audience. “How do you think I had molds for the garlands? Or tools? Or the poo-crete to make our lovely new organ? I’ve had spies relaying useful materials and equipment this whole time. Also, information. Specifically, members of LaWDs and Ladies. They’re quite familiar with these tunnels. They have to be to catch themselves a man these days.”

In fact, the forge connected to many of the underground tunnels that Fang’s siblings, cousins, and uncles used to hide from their amorous advances.

The crowd sucked in a collective breath of shock.

I know, it was a fun twist.

And Cole and Fang were already relaxing—

“Or you could just be lying,” the super thick siren piped up again, those beady little eyes on me. “I haven’t seen any of these accomplices. And that still doesn’t explain—

“Then how do I know how my plan for Horus and Eris went, huh?” I demanded.

More silence met those words, the head tour-guide looking confused.

“Or do you really think that I would orchestrate some incredibly elaborate plan to distract them and NOT figure out a way to hear how it went? Does that sound like me?”

The siren had nothing and the others looked flustered.

They were close, but still not quite there.

“What if I said I could prove it?” I offered, leaning forward. Now Fang and Cole were looking worried – dread settling in their eyes as they realized what that meant.

Like I said, I’ve always enjoyed telling stories.

And this one? Well, this one was about Danae.