Chapter 40 - Business Meeting

Apati’s New Conference Room

Nyx

This was it – my very first business meeting.

And everything was perfect.

I’d learned the importance of ambiance back inside the hell sewer. We didn’t have a giant mound of rat corpses, or a dark keep, or an eerie and ever-present moon. But we did have our brand new, luxury conference room, one I’d had the engineers build atop the tallest tower in Apati. One that speared up out of the mists. One encircled by floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a beautiful view of the bay – the mothership still smoldering and the prow towering above the waters – as well as the many, many snake corpses that our employees were pulling up on shore, butchering them for those precious rings of meat.

We were having a snake fry later - for our guests, of course.

Okay, I’d also wanted to try that recipe for ages…

Plus, the skeletons were super useful for making the tracks for our new fleet of dump-trucks. Yeah, that had all been part of my plan too.

“I thought it was an experiment?” Lili muttered.

Ahh… right. That’s, uh, what I meant. That was all totally improvised.

“Honestly, I can’t tell anymore,” she muttered.

Yeah, I know. That’s part of my charm. I like to keep people guessing.

Anyway, there I was, sitting at the head of the conference table, flanked by Fang and Cole – the elf dressed in an elaborate disguise, a rat fur moustache on his upper lip and a strange, feathered hat on his head. He insisted it was necessary. So that Peri wouldn’t recognize him. Like I mentioned before, Cole suffers from some self-esteem issues.

Oh, and to be clear, Peri was the elf we’d seen on the shore. The one that was actually sitting across from us. He was apparently a “royal vessel,” fifteenth in line to the Order of Poseidon… whatever that meant.

Like was that good? Bad? Was he fifteenth out of fifteen? Otherwise known as last place? Or was that out of a hundred? Or a thousand? Maybe his parents had banged out as many vessels as Manslaughter? In which case, that was pretty good, right?

All I knew for sure was that his extra-wide sea captain was definitely first in line to order second helpings. I mean, he was huge – even bigger in person. Maybe his other crewmates hadn’t died… maybe he’d just eaten them.

Seriously, had we prepared enough food for him?

“Nyx, you’re doing it again,” Cole whispered shakily. “Talking out loud.

Ahh, right. That could be why everyone was glaring at me.

Except Lipos. He looked mildly flattered – almost amused? At least, I assumed that’s why his tusks were vibrating. Hmm, I felt a connection there. Like we could be friends. Plus, his hat was super fashionable – wide brim, little bones bound to the fabric in the shape of a skull. Like a pirate. I wanted one so bad.

Although, something had been bothering me…

Isn’t a captain supposed to go down with his ship?

I mean, I’d heard that, right? That was a thing?

“Of course not,” Lipos replied, breathing hard and his fur matted with a slick layer of sweat, more drip, drip, dripping to the ground like rain. “What would be the point of that? You can always hire a new crew… but finding a new captain – that’s much harder. Plus, this is a good learning opportunity for your employees. It teaches them that they’re expendable.”

First off, yes, that had been out loud again. I might be a little nervous.

And secondly? “That actually makes a lot of sense! I adopt a similar approach with my murder babies. Teaching your underlings their place is part of being a captain.”

“You’re a captain?” Lipos rumbled, skeptical.

His voice had such a rich, resonant timbre. It was distracting.

“Ahh, basically. Captain of a ship called family.”

Fang just let out a long, slow hiss of disappointment and Cole’s face sank into his hands. I don’t know why. Small talk was an important part of any business meeting. This was our opportunity to find a connection outside of work.

“Can we get on with this? Why are we here in this ridiculous tower?” Peri demanded, glaring, his eyes pulsing an ominous sapphire as his spirit made its presence known.

Okay, rude. He was giving off a pretty murdery aura – like he wanted to kill me. Badly. I should know. I’d gotten really good at picking up on killing intent. Experience, you know? But it was what he said about my tower that hurt the most…

“Nyx, focus!” Lili snapped.

I coughed into my hand. “Ahh, right. I’m sorry for your bloody reception,” I began. “As you can see, we have something of a sea serpent problem. That’s actually why we haven’t been able to make any shipments of silverfin north for, well… ages really.”

“And who are you? Where is that elderly asshole Tom?” Peri demanded.

See? Connection. We both hated Tom! Small talk at its finest…

“Well, you’ll be happy to learn that Tom’s dead. Allegedly. And as per the terms of his contract, he is no longer liable for the debt to your Order. Of course, the company is still on the hook and I speak for Fin-Fan, Inc.” I offered with a nod and a wider smile.

They just stared back, looking skeptical.

“So, you’re the owner of the company? You?” Peri insisted.

He looked around the room, as though questioning his own sanity. Cole and Fang were having trouble meeting his eyes for some reason.

“Well, not exactly—” I answered, cocking my head.

“I figured,” Peri interjected in a dry voice.

“Uh, which is to say that, following Tom’s death, the company has transitioned to an experimental, new business structure. We’re now more of a collective cooperative with the goal of decentralizing leadership and transferring control of capital back to the workers. So, we elect a rotating leader to guide our business planning. And, right now, that’s me.”

Ahh, they looked even more confused now.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

“So, you answer for Tom’s debt?” Peri demanded. His eye was starting to twitch. I thought elves were supposed to be all stoic – that’s what Cole told me anyway.

Was it almost dying? Having to flee that burning wreckage and horde of snakes to avoid being eaten alive? Or maybe he was worried Lipos would eat him – the captain looked downright famished. I swear he lost a few pounds just taking the stairs up here.

Oh shit, the elf was still glaring at me.

“Well, no… not me, specifically. I don’t actually own any shares in the company directly,” I explained. “You see, we’ve actually divided the share ownership among all of the employees. So, I guess you could say the community is liable. Literally everyone here – except for me, of course. However, I’ve been empowered to negotiate on their behalf.”

And now the elf was massaging at his temples. It felt like I got that response a lot. “Does anyone else understand what this crazy sapien is saying?”

“He’s saying he’s in charge but also he isn’t.” That was Lipos. Seriously, his voice was majestic. Also, his tusks definitely vibrated as he spoke. Like tuning forks, [Engineering] said. Maybe that was how his song spirit worked. It was so cool.

“Yep. See? He gets it,” I shot back, my smile getting shaky.

Getting my lips into position wasn’t hard, it was keeping them there—

“Look, we’re just here to collect on the debt—” Peri began, letting out a soft sigh.

“Ahh, but before that, how about refreshments? You must be ravenous after your journey and all that running and rowing,” I offered.

“No, we don’t—” Peri began.

“I could eat,” Lipos interjected, his beady eyes suddenly shining.

Of course he could – my brother in thickness. I clapped my hands and our tiny, robed servers stepped into the room carrying platters of fresh FJ and plates of heaping demon monkey sliders. They quickly made the rounds, depositing a mug and a plate of burgers in front of each person. Although, I noticed a tail slipping out from under one of their robes and I quickly stepped on it. The server gave a cute little chitter and a jump, familiar crimson saucers glaring at me from beneath the cowl of its hood.

Okay, fine… they were my babies. I was ashamed I had to wrap up their adorable little faces like this, but I’d discovered that not everyone found them as lovely as me.

Even if they were wrong. Like so very wrong.

“These are demon monkey burgers with a bamboo bun, caramelized death shroom, and a blood fruit chutney,” I explained. “We’ve paired it with a fresh batch of FJ.”

“FJ?” Peri echoed, staring at the mug suspiciously. Meanwhile, Lipos was sniffing his burger, already salivating as he stared at the steaming delicacy.

“That’s friendship juice.”

They were still just staring. No one was eating.

“Um, is something wrong?” I asked.

“Do you think we were born yesterday? This could be poisoned. It almost surely is,” the elf snapped back, slapping at his captain’s hand as he tried to grab one of the burgers. “Do you expect me to just put anything in my mouth?”

That was fair. However, I’d come prepared.

“No worries. It’s not poisoned. See?” I took a big bite. It was so good.

Lipos was just staring at me, a strange lustful expression in his big, beady eyes. I motioned at the others and they all took a bite and a swig of FJ… even Fang, although he seemed reluctant. He’d been quiet lately – too quiet. But I just chalked that up to him finally learning his place in the new pecking order – one at the very bottom.

I explained that was the best place for his talents.

We all had to play to our strengths.

And he was definitely a power bottom.

Anyway, that demonstration seemed to placate the uptight elf. He even took a nibble at his burger, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Hmm, this is actually pretty good,” he murmured.

Lipos just grunted, stuffing an entire burger in his mouth, his eyes half-lidded in bliss.

“And what’s this beverage? It’s surprisingly rich in nimbus.”

Oh, I know it was. It was all about the fertilizer.

“I’m glad you think so. You see, since we’ve been experiencing some logistical issues with securing more silverfin inventory, we decided to develop several new product lines. Specifically, we have begun producing this new food and beverage. Of course, this is just a small taste of what we have to offer – an appetizer, if you will.”

Shit. No one was laughing. That one had killed with the sisters…

“To what end?” Lipos demanded. “Nothing is getting out of that bay, including us,” he growled, glaring at Peri. “And with that forest of screaming bamboo, I’d say we’re all trapped here. What difference does the debt make after losing our ship?”

“It wasn’t our ship – it was your ship. We only had a contract. One that doesn’t make me liable for any damage caused by native wildlife,” Peri corrected with a sniff and taking another delicate bite. “And you might be trapped, but I can simply take a gate back to Asphodel. Me and my guides were here to collect a debt, nothing more.”

“And what about me and my crew? You plan to leave us here?” Lipos demanded, glaring now and his tusks beginning to vibrate more strongly.

“Expendable vessels,” the elf sneered. “Although, perhaps there might be a place for some of you. There might be materials to carry back.”

Wow. Harsh. But technically true.

I was sensing some tension between these two.

Almost like the elf had roped the walrus into a lopsided contract that left him holding the bag and carrying all his treasures. Not that I knew what that was like…

Lipos growled, a rumbling, rising sound as his spirit’s energy surged, waves of rainbow energy radiating through the conference room. Peri simply stared him down, completely unperturbed by that show of power. Without even moving, moisture condensed from the air, turning into thick, super dense balls of water that orbited him like a star.

Wow, there were so many. Like dozens.

And Peri wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

Not even Leandra could manage that.

Just how powerful was he? Silver rank at least. Maybe gold?

“Or we could simply settle this now,” Peri insisted, staring down his captain as those orbs shifted into a series of vibrating blades – all of them pointed at the captain. “I’d be happy to help you and the remainder of your worthless crew Flow on. Given that you couldn’t even handle a few sea serpents, I doubt anyone will miss you.”

The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, but I just used mine to slice my burger in half. It was easier to eat that way. After getting locked inside the hell sewer and then planning our family vacation, I guess I’d forgotten about the Way of the Flow. The mantras. The system of oppression and power that dominated the Five Rivers.

It was pretty ruthless. Honestly, I felt bad for my brother-in-thickness.

Lipos backed down, averting his eyes – and placating his wounded pride with a second helping of demon monkey burgers. He must do that a lot. It explained the girth.

See? We had so much in common already.

“Now,” Peri continued, his eyes back on me. “What exactly are you proposing? I see these new products. They are interesting but certainly don’t warrant the cost of opening a gate. So, how do you plan to ship them north?”

“Ahh, well, that’s a small but manageable problem—”

“He has no plan,” Fang interjected as he rose.

My gaze snapped to his face, my eyes questioning. What was this? This wasn’t part of our plan… or was it? Honestly, I was having trouble remembering lately.

“I see. And who are you?” Peri demanded.

“Ahh, this is my associate, Buzzkill.” I answered automatically.

“My name is Fang,” the insecure trash goblin hissed.

“You have two names?” Lipos asked in confusion.

“It’s complicated,” I added.

“It is not,” Fang snapped, focusing on Peri. “And this is my point. You shouldn’t believe anything this sapian says. He is sick. Crazy—”

“That’s not true! I’m rationally-challenged. It’s a disability. A medical condition, and you know that,” I shot back, stabbing a finger at him.

“See what I mean?” Fang said with a sigh, not even bothering to look at me. “He recently suffered a serious head injury – one that left him unconscious for days.”

Wait that had been for days?

“Well, that’s not… completely true.”

“See? The crazy sapien admits it himself,” Fang offered.

“I recovered quickly. And I can assure you I am almost completely sane. I think,” I reassured our guests with my biggest smile before whirling toward Fang. “Besides, I’ve been elected to speak for the company. What authority do you even have to act on behalf of Fin-Fan, Inc, hmm?”

“Ahh, yes. Thank you for asking. I am currently the largest shareholder,” Fang replied, slapping down the contract tablet and sliding it across the conference table to our guests. “As you can see, I now own more than 50% of the outstanding shares in the company, which empowers me to impeach our acting leader and hold a new election. There are many employees who are uncomfortable with the current direction of the company.”

Our eyes met then, glowing yellow slits meeting the confused and flabbergasted and betrayed expression of his bromantic partner. It seemed I was wrong. That I’d underestimated the greedy trash goblin again. He hadn’t been quiet – resigned. He’d been plotting a coup. A hostile takeover of my new business—

“That you don’t own,” Lili offered.

“Whose team are you on?” I shot back.

“Right now? Fang. He promised me a feast if I went along with him.”

Wait, what? When did that happen!? I mean, I would have had to be there if they were talking, right? Sure, the memory gaps were getting worse, but this was still too much, wasn’t it? I mean, do you remember any of this? I see some heads shaking. Ahh, now I was getting nervous – starting to suspect this wasn’t part of my plan at all...

At least, I didn’t think so. I still couldn’t remember.

And Fang’s smile just kept getting wider as he watched me. Yet that was enough to stiffen my spine, to get my heart racing, my palms sweaty, and my beatin’ chain ready for when I wooped his scaly ass yet again.

This was fine. Perfect even.

I do my best work running full tilt into the shit.

But I don’t have to tell you that, do I?