"You left everything behind... and now you've come back without a word," I observe my mother-in-law holding the baby outside through the crack in the door before turning back to Andermis sitting next to me within arm's reach. It has only been an hour since I gave birth and the doctor has just taken my placenta. The room now reeks of a horrifying smell of blood and anyone without business does not dare to step in, except Andermis who is still there keeping me company. Looking at his once pristine vest now stained with dirt, I suddenly feel sorry for him. But a part of me is still unhappy about Andermis' unexpected departure, so I maintain my composure. I want to hear his reason because it's more interesting than finding my husband's whereabouts.

"May I ask you why?" I say.

Andermis looks away with his eyes gazing into the distance, his lips pursed as if trying to come up with a reason. He notices a wrinkle on my blanket and immediately adjusts it. Andermis lets out a sigh, then turns to look at my mother holding the baby. Reluctantly, he exclaims, "Mother seems to like the baby."

"She doesn't. Daughters can't inherit, that's why Mrs. Rose will never cherish the baby," I shake my head. We are both women, and even though I am younger and less experienced than her, I can tell if someone truly cares or not. "And you haven't answered me yet..."

Andermis becomes uneasy with my persistence. I shift my weight, sitting up straighter, and even though it hurts a little at first, I feel better afterward. I notice Andermis trying to hide his little finger on his left hand and suddenly I feel a bit uneasy. I ask, "Have you married?"

"Yes..." Andermis forces a smile.

"What kind of smile is that?" even a fool can tell that something is not right with his face.

"Just like the last time... The fairytale ending didn't go smoothly."

I am unsure why, but upon hearing this, I feel somewhat satisfied. I attribute it to the fact that procreation has rendered my mind dull and unattractive, for I am not ready to see the only person who has ever supported me with a wife. I am just an ordinary person, I do not consider myself noble or have ever been, occasionally I have selfish and opportunistic thoughts. Of course, I hope Andermis will have his own happiness, but now that he has just returned, I am not ready to let him go again.

Andermis takes out a photo from his breast pocket and hands it to me. It is a black and white photo of him and a woman standing next to each other. At first glance, I am amazed by the woman's face. There is something very familiar about her that I cannot describe in words, to the point where I thought Andermis did not choose that photo randomly. I hand the photo back to him and exclaim, "What a lucky girl!"

He looks at me in surprise, and there seems to be a hint of disappointment in his response, but then he shrugs and laughs. He puts the photo back into his pocket and slowly tells the story, "That night, I caught a night train to the port and went to France. A school friend of mine sent me an invitation many times to go there and teach, but I kept postponing. I accepted and thought I would never return to England again..."

"Why?" I gaze at him affectionately.

"I thought there was nothing left here to keep me," he nods with a sullen expression.

"But in the end, you came back?"

I smile at Andermis. Since he left, I have been struggling to get through each day in front of my husband's hateful eyes, as well as the coldness of those in the house. My husband's name is now just a meaningless title. Everyone in the house knows about Francine, my husband's lover, who constantly visits this house. She is his personal secretary. The first time Francine stepped into this house, she used the pretext of being my book club reader, but in reality, it was just an excuse to justify sleeping with him. Augustin played cards with me, and sooner or later Francine will send me a one-way train ticket. Andermis and I were both seen as "extras" in the family, and we quickly had sympathy for each other. Andermis' return to me is truly unbelievable.

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Andermis sits back on the chair, trying to recall perhaps the happy moments he had during that time. Andermis doesn't look at me, gently saying:

"Mary is Professor Harrison's daughter, head of the Law Department where I work. I met her a few times at the library, in school, and at parties at the professor's house. He contributed to the union between me and Mary. Four months later, we got married."

"What happened between the two of you?" I curiously ask.

"Are you sure you want to hear more?" Andermis asks anxiously. "You still look like you haven't recovered from giving birth. Do you want to rest first?"

"No, go on," I dismiss his concern, urging him on.

Andermis smiles and shakes his head. There is something contained in his heart that I can feel. Suddenly, he stops for a moment, just staring at me intently. It would be a lie if I said that I did not feel anything from that gaze. Suddenly, from a pile of rubble, only the dust of the past remains, his respectful gaze makes me feel like I am being restored to my original appearance. I become a mansion by the lake, where flowers bloom all year round, antique objects lie quietly in glass cases, and books are neatly placed on shelves. The Lord in His mercy has sent Andermis to me as a test of my righteousness, and even though I shall not err again, I still feel lost at times.

"Mary is just not her..."

Andermis speaks softly but with a hint of sharpness. Instantly, two thoughts come to mind as to the meaning behind "her." I look deep into Andermis' calm blue eyes, trying to find an answer, but the more I search, the more I become afraid. I hesitate as he catches my gaze. The sound of a crying baby outside forces me to reevaluate myself. I am a wife, a mother; I have chosen this life. I grip my hand tightly, uncertainly asking:

"Satine?"

Andermis does not answer right away. Instead, an emotionless expression appears on his face. He takes a deep breath and crosses his legs, his lips quivering slightly as he nods:

"Yes..." I can feel the weight in his voice. "I still haven't forgotten Satine."

We nod at each other and then fall into silence for a while. The baby continues to cry louder, and my mother-in-law cannot take it anymore, so she hands the baby back to me. She is still angry with Andermis for leaving without a word, so when she sees him, she just walks by casually. Andermis does not seem to care either. She hands the baby to me and says:

"The baby is probably hungry."

"Yes..." I reply softly. I hold my baby in my arms, the one I struggled to give birth to, and hold her head close to my chest. The baby still does not have a name, as my mother-in-law wants to leave it to Augustin. Nevertheless, I have thought of Margaret as her name. If I wait for my husband to come back to name her, the baby will probably not have a birth certificate until next Christmas.

I try to cover myself up so that Margaret can suckle, but I suddenly remember that Andermis is still in the room, which makes it hard for me to lift my hand. I do not know why Andermis is like a man possessed today. He is just sitting there as if nothing has happened. I constantly signal to him with my eyes, but Andermis seems not to notice. It is not until my mother turns to talk to him that he finally reacts:

"You left without saying a word for a whole year, and now you suddenly come back. Are you planning on staying here to watch your sister-in-law...?"

At this moment, Andermis becomes awkward and leaves the room, his face showing a hint of shame. My mother-in-law grunts in her throat and then glances at me. It is the first time I have felt sympathy from her, or at least an eye that does not contain malice. Recently, I have also heard some information, or rumours, that the marriage between my mother and father-in-law is on the rocks. I do not know the truth, but if everything is correct, that look can be explained.