Aries House, London, February 14, 1912.

On my first birthday at my husband's home, everything seems so strange to me. Almost three months have passed since I became Augustin's wife, and I found out that I was not quite ready for this. My life here is too leisurely, making me feel like my real life has not even started yet. I look at the scattered letters on my dressing table, one of the few things that help me realize that I still exist. Although there is no news from Enzo, the congratulatory cards from my siblings and mother have warmed this little heart of mine.

However, I cannot deny the good things in London. There are many new and old bookstores, and Andermis even told me that there is one at the end of the street that still keeps rare and possibly banned books. Women in London are also more respected. They can go to school and participate in social activities without being judged by others. To some extent, it is still different from what we, country girls, think.

To keep myself from going crazy, I found another hobby: studying. It is interesting that Andermis is very good at it. He studied Law in Germany a few years before meeting me at the Festival. From the stories that I told him, Andermis has persuaded me to pursue this academic path. At first, except for Andermis, no one in my husband's family wanted me to study, thinking that I already had a complete education, and that it would only "make me arrogant," in what way, I do not know. They also think that it's "not feminine" for me to study something like law, and they suggest that I study art if possible. Augustin finally agreed, but on the condition that I take care of my family more. Yes, that is what I am talking about. Augustin thought that I am not really passionate about our marriage, and the truth is, I am not. I feel like I have done enough and fulfilled my duty as a wife, taking care of him and making him happy, but deep down, we both feel like something is missing. I once again gave you my promise, but within me I am unsure if I can keep it. I cannot be tender with Augustin and still feel normal. Every time I close my eyes, the only person I see is him, alone. All else is a shadow I cannot grasp.

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I have dressed anew in preparation for my twenty-first year. Augustin enters and looks at me in wonder. He steps towards me, one hand slipping inside his waistcoat as if holding something. He places a kiss on my lips, which I receive as any wife would from her husband. Augustin looks pleased and exclaims, "You look beautiful!"

I smile in response, replacing words. My husband then seems to recall something and withdraws his hand from his coat, revealing a large, dark green, square-shaped box. I am astonished but know what it is. Augustin chuckles and says, "I have a gift for you."

"Oh, you don't have to do that...", I reply.

"Everything is for my love."

Augustin opens the box, displaying before me a diamond necklace with a feathered pattern, full of color. I am stunned, instantly feeling suffocated. If Augustin had acted a little vulgar towards me, I would feel less tormented. Looking at the necklace, now adorning Augustin's neck, my smile turns into embarrassment. The necklace is beautiful, luxurious, and as light as a feather, yet I feel like I am being suffocated and imprisoned. It seems I have touched upon the greatest fear of this marriage: that Augustin loves me not just for my body but for me. The feeling of responsibility again binds me. God will curse me if I am cold or vulgar to someone who truly loves me. But then, a dark part of my soul emerges to defend its own ugliness. Is this not the first time I have broken the heart of a man who truly loved me?

My husband turns me around, directing my gaze towards my reflection in the mirror. A Mrs. Morten appears modern, alluring and elegant as she gazes back at me. The reflection is luxurious and surreal beyond measure. Unconsciously, I grasp his hand as a token of gratitude. I turn around, giving him a kiss. It is a small and insignificant gesture, but all I can offer him. Our foreheads touch, our bodies holding onto each other tightly. If only everything could be as effortless as this...

I open my eyes, waking up to reality. My breath turns icy. Softly, I say:

"We should go now. Everyone is waiting for us."