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Chapter 14 - Shearing Sheep (5)

Chapter 14 - Shearing Sheep (5)

It has been a long time since I set foot here, and it feels like half a lifetime has passed. Without Enzo, I have no reason to come to this hill anymore. There are things that only have meaning when done together. This hill is a testament to my love for Enzo and his love for me, and now I am ready to let go.

I look at the pile of rocks stacked on top of each other, a feeling of nostalgia washes over me. We promised to marry when we had a hundred stones, but we could not wait. Ninety-eight was the final number before everything happened, and it will never be one hundred like we promised. I am trapped in this vow that I brought upon myself. Enzo is now wandering in a new land, and he may have found a better girl than me. Anyone would be better than me! I am nothing but a pretty face. But what remains after twenty, thirty years? Beauty will become old and ugly, and then I will die like millions of beautiful girls with countless regrets.

I choose a small stone and place it on top. I take a moment to reminisce about what was once extremely happy. Today, I have to leave behind everything that is within my heart. From today, I will return to my true identity: Mrs. Morten. I will not linger on my feelings for Enzo anymore, and I have to move on after all these years. Tomorrow we will return to London, ending two months of vacation officially. My children have also returned to their routines, and I no longer have time to indulge in grief.

As I reminisce, I unconsciously count each stone that was placed there, and I am surprised to see a strange and incredible thing. I had to count it a few times before accepting that there had been a change. One hundred stones, exactly one hundred, no more, no less. I immediately run over and place my hand on the rough surface of the stones. I cry in joy. One of them was definitely Enzo's after everything fell apart. Enzo has also let go of everything after all, and it makes me feel less painful than ever. Now I am completely relieved to make my decision. Here, on behalf of both of us, I plead for mercy from God, to close the chapter of my love with Enzo. Our beautiful memories of each other will be hidden here, and no matter how much it hurts, they should be kept deep within forever.

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I take a deep breath and feel tears of relief fall, as if my soul has been purified. I lie on my back on the lush green grass, still fragrant with freshness, and though the feeling is not the same as before, I feel lighter than ever. I suddenly think of the situation between Augustin and me. Perhaps we should consider having a child together. Becoming parents will help us change our perspectives of each other, and find more common ground.

After a while, as I awaken, I feel my mind is more clear. The sun is no longer gentle, signalling that it is time to return. I stand up, brush off the dust on my dress, and slowly walk down the slope. I thought my heart could rest, and it did until I saw the old butler, Garris (1), coming up. Seeing him, a sudden sense of foreboding pulls me back. We stand in silence for a moment, exchanging awkward glances. Garris's gloomy face signals something terrible.

Perhaps, if I had known beforehand, I would have kept all those burdens in my heart. Because what I am about to learn will kill me many more times!

The sun sets, coldly passing over the top of my head.