The unconscious Cowgirl of the Sea had been revived as the Cowpoker docked inside her Molasses factory. After getting hit in the head with her own whip, she had grown more irritated, but strangely more patient and stood calmly watching the crew of the Lyre. Even the wily witch Sincirce winced over Sugar's hawklike state. "I feel so exposed with this crazy woman gaping at me!" Sincirce cried, covering up her torso. "Somebody get this girl a restraining order!"
"Now you know how I feel wit you toots!" Tony the Troutface exclaimed.
"You wish!" Sincirce said. "The only women who gape at you are as fish eyed as you!"
"I don't know why you two are gabbing so much," Archibell squawked. "You didn't have the honor of dating this hayseed has-been!"
Sugar let out another whiney in cruel delight. "We're gonna see who is the has been, Archie dearest, when I whip y'all into the next life!"
She uncrossed her arms, letting the whip trail onto the deck.
Everyone was completely hesitant to move, even with the Cowpoker docked in the mini harbor.
"What are you waiting for?" Sugar sneered. "Beat it so I can beat you!"
Elise watched Archie. The birdlike captain stood shoulder to shoulder with an ex girlfriend who was truly grittier than grits. She knew they'd have to leave at some point and the spell would wear off. What could they possibly do to gain a head start?
"She sells sea shells!" Elise exclaimed and tugged at Archie's sleeve. "I know what we can do!"
The captain nodded and took a squat beside her. She whispered in his ear, and suddenly, a smile spread across his birdlike face.
"Why are y'all smiling?" Sugar demanded pointing at him. "You look smugger than a rattlesnake with a brand new rattle."
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Archibell turned to Elise and Tito, placing his hands on the shoulders of two impressionable children. "Now kiddies," he said gallantly. "What I'm about to do is something that I normally don't endorse. But this is a drastic measure and I am a dignified gentleman first and foremost."
"What are you gonna do?" Tito asked. "Should I take notes?"
Elise side eyed Tito. "You don't need to. I got the idea from you, sweetums."
Archibell spun on his heels and turned to Sugar. She glared at him and trailed her whip like it was the rear of a rattlesnake.
"Sugar!" Archibell said, with his hands on his hips. "You know, I never expected in these endless vast oceans that we'd run into each other again. It was a chance meeting and despite all of our downs....and downs and downs and downs, we must part now."
Sugar wiggled her whip, waiting to strike. "Your point is, Archie dearest? It is clear our fling is over. I don't know why you are starting to think you are a southern sea gentleman. You'll never be half the man my daddy was."
"Oh really?" Archibell said, his eyebrows wiggling up and down. "Pucker up, buttercup!"
He seized Sugar and dipped her like he was doing a tango. With that motion, he planted a big kiss on her lips. Much to Elise's surprise, Sugar eased into the kiss closing her eyes as they made obnoxiously large smooching sounds.
"I wish I could get dat kind of action in my life," Tony sighed.
"Dream on, fishlips!" Sincirce chuckled.
Tito had managed to conjure up a piece of parchment and began to take as much notes as possible.
Archie waved his opposite hand at his crew, while holding Sugar tight
"Why's he waving at us?" Tony asked, scratching his head with his fin.
"Perhaps you're supposed to wave at your mateys when you're making out with crazy cowgirl babes!" Tito said writing on his parchment.
"Guys?" Elise said, rolling her eyes. "You don't get it do you?"
Archie continued to wave at his crew. This time it was more frantic as the kissing became even louder. "Yes, hello, Captain Kissy, we see you!" Sincirce muttered. "Now I'm getting jealous. And no, I'm not kissing fishlips here!"
"Ugh..." Elise screamed. "You guys are more empty headed than a conch shell! This is just a distraction so we can escape!"
"Eep!" Elise squeaked, immediately covering her mouth. Sugar opened her eyes. With an annoyed grunt, she shoved Archibell off her lips and he dropped her to the wooden deck.
"Well, me hearties," Archie said. "Operation: Fake Out Make Out was a failure so now we have a new operation."
"And that is?" Elise said.
The Captain tore at his clothes anxiously while screaming, "Operation: Run For Your Lives!"