Nobody moved a muscle aboard the Loveboat, for fear of setting off Sev's malevolent temper and her even more temperamental bomb.

"Cool yourself down, shark lady," Tito cried. "We already beat the pants off that vampire chef."

Elise, ever the curious one, looked at the pale blue skin and marks on Sev's cheeks and asked, "What are you?"

"We are the Seven Deadly Fins," Sev said with an abrupt reply. "The seven wandering shark ninjas or sharnobi! I am the seventh strongest which explains why I was so easily defeated by that cake monster!"

"Aww," Elise sighed. "Don't beat yourself up about it. You gave it your best try."

"Not good enough," Sev growled. Her shaking fin pressed the detonator on top of the bomb. Everyone screamed in absolute terror, many using the buffet table to take cover. But again, there was a sound of a wet fart and the bomb didn't blow anyone to smithereens.

"Story of my life," the sharnobi sighed. "It was so moist and icky in the cake that my equipment doesn't work. The only thing that's detonated in my face is my career as a bomb specialist."

"And an eligible bachelorette," Raz scoffed on the floor. "I cannot believe such a hideous creature was disguised as my Sophia. We were so close to tying the knot too."

Sev hissed and stuck out her shark's tongue. "I hate to inform you, but I have a handsome sharkman boyfriend and he's way more equip than you!"

Sev held her hands together and swooned back and forth. "In fact, he's double equip, if you know what I mean!"

The room was silent and Sev's arms sunk fast than a fifty ton anchor. "Ok...I don't actually have a boyfriend like that."

A man wearing a beret, sunglases and khaki's approached her with a director's megaphone. "Doesnt matter because Raz was gonna dump you anyway. Can't have the Razelor show if he's taken."

"That's…" Elise cried. "So cruel. That's not true love, is it?"

"It's not," the director smirked. "It's showbiz."

"On this heartbreaking chapter of my life," Sev sighed. "I must pursue my prey. That twinky chef. But...before that…"

Sev extended her hand, whipped out a throwing knife and chuckled it with great precision at Archibell. The knife flipped through the air, narrowly missing the good captain's neck.

Captain Archibell screamed at the top of his lungs. "Squadily squids!"

Sev pranced happily in place. "Master Mako sends his regards. He hasn't forgotten what you've done to him!"

Before anyone could grab her, the shark ninja tossed a smoke bomb and vanished into a cloud of sea-food smelling smoke. Everyone gagged on the fumes of raw octopus and when it cleared, she was gone.

"What did you do to Master Mako?" Elise asked innocently.

"It's a long story…" Archibell sighed. "And it involves raw fish."

Tony barked cross the room from Sincirce's arms. "We better sashimi our way outta here before we're trapped in an endless whirlpool of da cap'm's storytelling "

Everyone agreed, even though Elise couldn't help but crave a real life sailor's tale

Exiting the Love Lounge and standing out in the sunshine of the Love Deck, Elise was even sadder because the fairy tale love of Raz and Sophia was a complete fraud. She pouted and stomped her feet. "I can't believe those two weren't in love…"

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Who?" Tito asked.

"Raz and Sophia. Is anybody really in love these days?!"

Tito chuckled and gazed away. Looking back, he patted her on the head. "Nobody but you Speckles, and that guy over there."

Elise immediately recognized the man standing on the edge of the deck. His long, stringy white hair draped off his balding head and his elderly eyes were mirthful, a lot happier than she had seen them. His reason for happiness? Probably the beautiful woman in the inflatable pool beside him.

"Old man Sei!" Elise called the old man from her village.

The old man chortled. "Elise, long time no sea. Sea as in the ocean!"

"Ooh," Elise smiled, realizing the beautiful woman in the pool was a lithe, blond mermaid with lapis lazuli eyes and a pink shell bikini. "Is that your true love?"

The old man chortled again. "Why yes!" and he reached to grip the elegant sea beauty's hand. "You're never too old to meet your true love."

The mermaid's glistening face shined brighter and pinker. "And how I love an old man of the sea!"

Tito, Tony and Archibell all gaped in jealously as Sincirce turned her head with a hmmph.

"Oh…" Old man Sei said, "Are those your friends?"

He pointed at three naval ships, sailing on the horizon line straight towards the Love Boat.

"Oh no," Tony shouted. "Da fuzz!"

Archibell hollared. "Anchors away!"

The four of them dashed away towards the Lyre.

"Nice to sea you again," Elise said to the old man companion of hers. "And that is sea as in the ocean!"

"Same to you," he said to Elise. "Happy sails!"

The Lyre cast off from the Loveboat and Elise watched as the steam powered naval ships skimmed across the water at an alarming rate. The starboard was heading towards the North Sea, but if they got caught, they'd end up right back at Prison Island. To make matters worse, up ahead of the Love Boat was a field of cyclones.

"Anyone up for a game of twister?!" Archibell bellowed.

These water spouts shuffled across the water, tossing and turning all kinds of marine life in the salty spray. Each one was the size of a tall smokestack and left a narrow way between them. Archibell held onto the wheel and spun it left and right, narrowly avoiding the maelstorms.

The pilots of the naval ships were nowhere as gifted when it came to piroetting the gales and they found themselves being sucked up. Sincirce mischeviously pulled her eyelid down and stuck her thin tongue out at them. "Sucks for you," she said.

"My sea faring skills are second to none!" Archibell boasted, before he roared. "Squadily squids!"

A twister billowed up out of the water in front of them, lifting the ship up on its mighty winds. Everyone held on for dear life as they were gripped tightly in the gale. Only Sincirce seemed to take merriment in the twister and she swiveled her pelvis back and forth.

"Whattaya doing ya crazy witch?!" Tony said, biting onto the railing as Sincirce continued to dance.

"Doing the twist!" Sincirce giggled. "This is a witch's favorite weather."

The ship twisted and turned until it was spat out the top of the water spout. They soared across the sky in such a fashion, that even Sincirce had gripped onto the railing.

Flying like a wooden bird, the ship sailed past islands and islands in the opposite direction they were headed. Elise recognized many of the islands they passed. Mainland Isle, Helloha island, Central Commerce Island and even Elise's home of Prospect Island. She clutched her chest tightly, hoping that Molly the barkeep was taking good care of her father Sailor Sam. "We've got a piece of the Trident, daddy," Elise said, "Only three more!"

But as they soared past Elise's island, they had no idea where they were heading. "Southbound ho!" Archibell roared. A large ship passed beneath them, and they landed with a splash beside it.

Everyone dropped onto their rear. "My aching tail fin!" Tony said as he dropped to the floor.

"My aching...assets…" Sincirce said, as she dropped on her rear end.

Elise's opened her eyes and gazed up at the ship. There was a large sail depicting a familiar jolly Helloha man in all his glory. He wore a traditional Hellohaian floral shirt and khaki jeans.

"The Great Kolama?!" Elise asked.

"This is my Uncle's sales-ship!" Tito said. "He travels across the ocean selling his many goods with this baby!"

"Oh no…" Archibell said, pointing up at the sail. "Look at his eyes."

The Great Kolama's eyes on the sail had been slashed out in perfect cross shapes.

"What did they do to his face?!" Tito asked.

"That's a marking…" the good Captain responded. "Your uncle has been infiltrated by one of the most infamous pirate lords...Lady Sugar Southerncross."