"I'm Lieutenant Wiggins, a sailor in the Queen's fleet," the pig man said with a salute. "But now I'm better off being called Lieutenant Piggins."

Elise went to giggle at the absurdity of a naval officer pig, but Archibell nudged her. "Freckles, this is a pig deal...er...I mean, a big deal."

Wiggins nodded. "It was a pig deal indeed. I shipwrecked with some of my mates a long time ago, and much like you, I was lost in the forest of my worst memories. A beautiful witch offered me an escape"--Wiggins gave a sniff-snort--"I thought only of myself and forgot about my wife."

Everyone looked on the unfaithful swine with sympathy, even if they saw what it got him.

"Sincirce," the pig man, "wants a man who...lives up to her name and I..._

Suddenly, Wiggins disappeared in a puff of pink smoke, and all that was left was a regular quadruped pig with four legs and big black eyes. Sincirce appeared in a pink smoke with her hand out and an ugly scowl on her otherwise beautiful face.

"Loose lips sink ships," she said, glaring accusingly at the mindless Wiggins. "How do you think Lieutenant Loose Lips shipwrecked here in the first place."

"Change him back!" Elise cried as Sincirce scooped Wiggins up.

Sincirce puckered her lips and nuzzled her new pig. "But isn't this oinker so cute?"--she turned her eyes and muttered--"As much as I'll miss his lovely bacon bits!"

"Hold me," Tony said, flopping on the floor. "I think I'm gonna hurl!"

Sincirce kicked the hapless fish aside. Archibell stood up in nothing but his towel. "You're gonna be short some staff if you keep turning them into real piggies!"

Sincirce shrugged her shoulders. "Mmm," she said, placing her fingers to her smooth chin. "But what about the morsels standing before me? You two will make lovely swine!"

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Sincirce's eyes pointed in two different directions, as she looked at Tito and Archibell with a catlike smile. "You're both so fine I could see you twice!"

"Now I'm really gonna be sick," Tony cried, and Sincirce's eyes snapped back to normal so she could glare at the talking fish.

"What about me?" Elise cried. "Am I going to be a piggie too?"

"No," Sincirce said with a kind smile. "You're much too important for that. I need you to stay young and vital!"

Sincirce sucked hungrily on her finger. "Nothing like a wonderful cocktail of baby milk skin and sweet innocence."

"Now I really need an adult!" Elise cried, looking up at Archibell

"Don't look at me, kid," Archibell squawked with his knees shaking. "So do I!'

"Well," Sincirce smirked. "Now that I've sufficiently creeped you out. I must be going...and…"

Suddenly, Tito spoke loudly. "Did you say you need a man…?" He puffed out his thin chest to look confident.

"Oh," Sincirce said, sucking on her fingers again. "What's it to you?"

Tito laughed nervously. "We I'd like to ask you on a date."

Archibell chimed in. "Shrimp, brilliant idea. If you get her arrested, she can't turn us into pigs."

Sincirce smirked at Tito and walked over to him. The Hellohaian drew away from her with every click of her heels.

"Child," she said. "I may be a flesh drinking manic witch, but I still have principles."

She clicked her head in unnaturally, causing Tito to whimper for his mommy. "You couldn't handle me anyway,"--Sincirce turned her head directly at Archibell--"There's only one man morsel here who I'm interested in."

"I ditto what Tito said when I say mommy!" Archibell cried.

Sincirce played with her floating diamond earring. "Who knows, give me a quality date and I'll see you free!"

Archibell looked around nervously until Tony cleared his throat. Suddenly, there was a look of resolve on Archibell's face. "Will you transform all the animals back to men?'

Sincirce closed her eyes and thought for a second. "Only if you be my trophy husband for all eternity!"

The captain gulped so loud that it reverberated through the sauna."

Sincirce opened her eyes and sighed. "What can I say, I'm indeed a magic hatful."

Archibell nodded. "It's on," he said.

"I'll see you in the evening right at dinner time," Sincirce smirked. "Toodles, big boy!"

Archibell nodded so hard, Elise was afraid he'd break his neck.

Sincirce glared daggers at Archibell. "And don't be late or I'm having pork roast tonight!"

Sincirce vanished into pink smoke leaving the Lyre's crew flabbergasted.

"I've finally found booty," Archibell began. "But I don't want to plunder."