Archibell was about to be smothered in kisses by a creepy witch, but before her lips touched his, he screamed, "Waaaaaaaait!"

Sincirce's face reverted to normal and she raised her eyebrows. "Wait what?"

The captain looked at her earnestly. "I know this date was going mighty fine, and I know I have to be with you if i want to save all those sailors and Tony ("Who?" Sincirce asked in innocently) but I can't!"

Sincirce, rather than scowl looked at him with a mixture of confusion and bewilderment.

Archibell shook his head. "I know I've messed around with a gal from every island (and maybe a fellow or two) but I can't get her out of my mind."

"Who?" Sincirce demanded, looking the slightest bit jealous.

"Lyra…" the captain said. "Lyra Blackswan. The lass who first ran away with me when I wanted to sail the four great oceans!"

A look of panic filled Sincirce's eyes. "Wait…" she said but Archibell continued boldly.

"Because of what I did to her, I've never been able to love properly again. My thoughts begin and end with my wrongs."

Archibell got up and gave Sincirce a kind smile. "I'm sorry, Miss Witch, but to answer your question earlier I'll have to go with:

E) None of the Above."

"No...no...Noooo!" Sincirce cried as the room began to dissolve around them.

Her face contorted in anger, but the room quickly melted into a melange of watercolor.

"Thank you…Lyra…" the captain said as everything turned to mush.

When the captain opened his eyes,he found himself standing with Elise, Tito and tons of witches and human sailors inside a large circular cavern. They were back in the stone Jack O'Lantern.

The men looked at their hands. "No hooves!" one cried. "We're saved!"

Elise hopped up and down and smiled, pleased with the captain. "Archie," she said. "How did you break the spell?"

The captain placed his hands in his belt and beamed proudly. "Let's just say, I was completely sincere with her."

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Everyone cheered until a frazzled and dazed Sincirce stumpled out of the crowd of witches.

Immediately, the group of sailors began to boo and hiss at the weakened witch. They bashed their fists together, ready to pummel her to oblivion.

Sincirce grinned nervously. "You wouldn't hit a group of girls would you?"

"Girls," one of the sailors asked with a scoff. "'alf of you are men with beards."

"Nice Grasspeare reference," Archibell winked. "They're pretty well read for a bunch of salty seamen."

"But," a gruff voice uttered. "Am I a man again?"

Archibell, Elise and Tito turned to see a fish with blond hair crawl out of the crowd. Tony looked at his body. "Aww fish sticks. I'm still a flopper."

"Why didn't Tony change back?" Elise asked.

Sincirce turned her eyes away from the sailor men to the Lyre's crew. "I used a special charm for him. I was vacationing on Swinging Singles Island and I didn't have my usual repertoire."

"What was it?" Elise asked.

"A scale from the tail of a polka dot whale!" Sincirce said. "One of the rarest mammals in the eastern sea."

"Why did dis gotta be my luck," Tony sobbed. "Why could'nt it ave been a minnow's mouth instead."

As the sailors closed in on Sincirce, ready to beat her to a pulp, Elise cried to Archibell. "We need to save her so we can change Tony back."

"Nonsense kid," Archibell said, patting her on the head. "We can find this tail ourselves."

"But…" Sincirce said, smugly. "Do you know how to use it?"

Archibell looked to Elise who looked to Tony who looked to Tito. They all shrugged their shoulders or flippers in Tony's case.

"I figured," Sincirce said, "Spare me, and I'll help you find it and you can turn that smelly trout back into an even smellier human"--she glared hostily at Tony--" As much as that lout ruffles my broom."

"Likewise," Tony said, glaring back at the witch. "Fish worms make better companions than dis bi… I mean witch."

Archibell scratched his head. He kind of wished he saw what happened on Swinging Singles Island between Tony and Sincirce.

At last, Archibell said with a smile. "Sailor men, spare this miserable witch so we can save our friend."

The sailors nodded. "Aye," Lieutenant Wiggins said, "Can we at least brawl with these other witches."

"Sure," Archibell said with a wink. "Grasspeare would be fine with it!"

One sailor-witch brawl later, both groups of combatants departed, and the crew was left with Sincirce.

"Before we go," Sincirce said, "Let me retrieve my source of vitality--the Diamond of Life--that allows me to retain my borrowed, baby milk skin."

She ran to the drawer and in the corner of the Jack O'Lantern, she retrieved a skull. "I keep it in the eye of this…" Sincirce let out a shriek. "It's gone!"

She pulled at her long blond hair and began shaking back and forth. "No! No! Noooo!"

"What's wrong," Elise asked. "Will you die without it?"

Sincirce peered up at Elise with cracked and bloodshot veiny eyes. "Even worse," she cried melodramatically. "I'LL WITHER AND GREY."

Archibell crossed her arms. "Where did it go?"

Sincirce glared at the exit. "One of those sailors must've stolen it!'

Suddenly, a strand of hair on her head turned grey.

Sincirce began to sob, but none of the Lyre's crew offered the vain witch any sympathy.

"Old people are awesome," Tito said glaring at her. "You're not."

"Are you sure dis is a good idea, cap'm?" Tony asked. "She'll capsize out boat with all dese water works!"

The captain exhaled. He had never made a more questionable addition to his crew, but there was a first time for everything--even kooky island witches.