"Are we really risking our necks to save a coconut salesman?!" Archibell asked, peering with a telescope from behind their rock.

Tito forlornly gazed at the ground. Seizing her opportunity, Elise took a deep breath and stood tall in front of the naysayers. "He's not just a coconut salesman, he's Tito's uncle."

"Can't the shrimp scampi just get another uncle?!" Archibell said, "Does his mom have any attractive sisters?!"

"I second dat!" Tony added.

Sincirce shook her head. "These boys lack marbles in their heads and elsewhere…" she said, "And I say, we got nothing to lose.

The witch leaned on her hips and gaze a playful wink. "Especially since this classy lady sounds like she might have more of my diamonds."

"Oh she's not classy at all," Archibell said, shaking her. "Not Lady Sugar Southerncross, but eh...I wouldn't know."

Everyone looked at him as he grew increasingly red in the face. He quickly shouted, "All right! Better our necks than our manly piratehoods. Let's go!"

As the patrol boats sailed around the fortress and spotlights from the fortress walls trailing after them, Archibell deftly sailed the boat in the small gap between the guards and the guard lights. Everyone was as silent as the clear midnight sky, as they slowly weaved their way to the entrance of the fortress. It was a bronzed and rusted gate that couldn't even close properly. Much to their relief, no guard boats were stationed outside of it.

"This gate's seen better days," Tito remarked. "Why doesn't that awful lady doesn't repair it?"

Nobody could offer Tito a reply, but Elise patted him on the back. "So we could break in and get your uncle back!"

Tito's chocolate brown face smiled at Elise and it made her heart jump in happiness. Sincirce winked at Elise and gave her a thumbs up. "Brown liccan brown cow!" She said before Tony whacked her hand with his tail fin. "Oww!"

"Quiet," Tony whispered.

The boat sailed into a small harbor where an enormous ship lay stationed. With a grinning cow's head rising from the bow, the ship was painted in garrish black-and-white cow print and sported a sail emblazoned with a skull and crossed sugarcane for bones. This vessel clearly belonged to no one but Southerncross.

Elise pondered this woman's appearance that was painted by her vivid name and pirate ship. All she could picture was a rowdy bovine creature that stood on two hoofs in a ten gallon hat.

The Lyre parked itself in the docking bay and laid it's anchor into the water.

"Great work, kiddos!" Archibell said, leaning up against the mast of the Lyre. "We slipped in without being detected. All in days work for a trusty cap'm. I'll leave the rest up to you."

"Why aren't you coming?!" Elise asked, suddenly feeling a bit disappointed in her captain.

"No reason!" The captain said, grinning too wide for his face.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"Then you're coming," the little girl said, puffing out her rosy cheeks. "You're doing this for Tito...and me."

"Gee Freckles," Archibell cawed. "Someone's getting bold!"

"Someone's in L-U-V!" Sincirce sang, puckering her lips before Tony slapped her hand with his tail again.

The captain sighed. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Thanksy!" Elise said. "I guess Tito's uncle is in the ship."

"Yep," the captain said " I'd reckon that too. But we gotta get on that ledge to board Sugar's ship. We'll have to enter the fortress."

Everyone agreed and walked from the stone docks to a large metal door covered in faded paint. The flaking paint shed colors of green and yellow. They were of a harvest variety. Archibell heaved the door open and a golden light filtered through. Seeing that the coast was clear, Archibell signalled for them to enter.

Inside the fortress, Elise's eyes observed an interesting array of objects and her nose smelled a repulsive stench. There were a treadless conveyor belts that led to an our-of-order oven. The awful smell wafted from a bunch of crates to their left.

"Do I dare open this?!" the good captain asked. "It smells worse than Tony."

"Hey, I resent dat!" Tony shouted.

Curiously, the captain opened the wooden box and when he lifted the latch, a bunch of rotten sugarcane fell out. "P.U.!" he shouted. "At least it's not a corpse."

"What is this place?" Elise reckoned.

"A sugar factory I guess," the captain said.

Whispers sounded from a nearby hallway. Everyone ran and hid behind the conveyor belt. Two pasty men, one tall and bald in overalls and the other, short and blond, walked in. The large man, resembling a towering, hairless gorilla carried an enormous wrench, while the ratty looking blond man sported a tiny dagger.

"I tell you Jimmy boy," the large man said in a twangy but booming voice. "There's nothing that makes a grown man quiver more than a lady in leather boots, golden spurs and a cattle prod."

"Really?!" the blond one called Jimmy answered in a high pitched twangy voice. "That's why I like her."

The hulking man sighed. "Not everyone's into your bizarre interests, Jimmy..."

A voice rang out over a metallic intercom on the ceiling. It sounded sweet for a second until it snapped angrily. "Bobby and Jimmy dear will you please report to the Cowpoker...immediately?!"

"Dang mang!" Bobby the big man said. "Lady Sugar seems righteously mad. What'd ya do, Jimmy?"

"I didn't do nuthin'" Jimmy said with a hungry look. "But judging by her demeanor, I wish I did!"

The blond Jimmy hustled his way down the hallway, causing Bobby to remark. "That boy ain't right."

He followed his companion down the hallway. "Quick," Archibell said, "They'll lead us to the Cowpoker!"

The Lyre's crew followed the two goons down a stone tiled hallway which lead back outside again. From there, they carefully followed them out onto the massive deck of the Cowpoker. Once the goons went inside the cabin, Archibell took a deep breath. "No turning back now," he said with a deep breath.

Together, they entered the cabin.

Inside, several large barrels blocked the view from seeing the contents of the mistress's cabin. Four voices (one was muffled) echoed over the wall of goods.

"Jimmy? Bobby?!" the voice like poisoned honey said. "Do y'all know why I called you in here?"

"Err-no ma'am!"

"I called y'all up here because…" the sweet voice changed to vengeful and wrathful. "A couple of ijits snuck in my factory and none of y'all saw them."

There was a loud snapping sound.

"Now…" the voice was sweet again, but passive aggressively so, "Time for the cattle prod!"

"Oh boy!" JImmy cried with glee.

Archibell looked at his friends and they all nodded to him. Everyone charged out from behind the barrels.

"Unhand that uncle and that thug, Sugar!" Archibell shouted.

"Aw dang mang!" Jimmy sighed, not getting to enjoy the cattle prod.

Elise gasped when she saw who was behind the silhouette. A beautiful brunette woman stood before them in a spotted cow poncho, a ten gallon hat that reached all the way to the ceiling and leather cowgirl boots. The woman's voice bounced happily in a sweet country drawl. "At long last, you've returned, Archie dear! I knew y'all couldn't keep away!"

The golden spurs jingled on her boots as she bent her knees in an attack position. A mole on her lip moved up as her luscious red lips drew into a smile. Without further warning, she drew a pistol and fired several shots as Archibell danced frantically.

"I didn't know you knew her personally," Elise gasped as Archibell nearly hyperventilated.

"Personally?!" Archibell exclaimed. "We dated for three years!"