"What was Bunting putting in that batter," Elise asked as the three wannabe waiters emerged from the swinging doors. "It sure looked kinda spooky to me."

"Food coloring?" Tito interjected. "My mom used it all the time when making coconut upsidedown cakes."

Elise gave a gentle smile, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Tito was wrong. "Whatever it is," Archibell said, placing a hand on Elise's shoulder as he balanced the 'special' dish on his other hand. "If it's endangering anyone here, we'll stop it…"

"Gotta admit, cap'm," Tony spoke from below the dish. "We're pretty wholesome for a bunch of seafaring rogues."

"A little too nice indeed," Tito said, causing the captain to smirk deviously. "I had no idea pirates were so soft."

"And then," Archibell whispered, "we'll steal from the appetizer buffet to prove we're still thieves of the sea!"

"Uhm…" Elise said, "But aren't appetizers already free for everyone."

"Yes…" the wily captain said, "But we weren't invited…" and he burst into a hearty round of sinister laughs.

Unfortunately, he didn't stop in time when he reached the table. Both Raz M. Taz and Sophia looked at him with a mixture of confusion and irritation. "I do say, my good sir," Raz said, bristling his handlebar mustache."What's so funny? I did require all guests and staff to not be funnier than me."

"Oh…" Archibell said, calming down his squawking. "I just heard a funny joke. Mind you, it wasn't *that* funny so as not to upset the party requirements."

Raz M. Taz lifted up a monocle over his eye and glared angrily at Archibell. "Oh really? What was it?"

"Err…" Archibell said, gazing skyward until Tito nudged him. "Why don't clams ever give to charity?"

Both Raz and his date looked extremely puzzled. Sophia in particular, played with the necklace that hung on the neckline of her evening gown.

"You got me," Sophia said. "What is it, waiter?"

Archibell froze. He resembled a statue who was in deep thought. It seemed he had forgotten the punchline.

Suddenly, Tony's voice rasped from beneath the dish. "They're rather shellfish!"

Sophia began to giggle, but Raz positively fumed. "You said the joke wasn't suppose to be funny."

"Er...it wasn't…" Archibell said, "Your date just has bad taste!"

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

"How dare you!" Raz said, standing straight up as Sophia feigned a gasp and held out her diamond ringed finger.

Archibell cackled nervously eyeing her ring that glistened like the inside of a treasure chest. He held his dish close to his body like he was about to throw it. The captain grinned nervously. "Time to be served!" he cried and lifted the top of the platter to reveal Tony.

"Wit a fish surprise!" the trout rasped and leaped high like a salmon swimming up stream before landing on Sophia's hand.

"Holy mackerel!" Raz cried as he watched in terror as his soon-to-be wife was attacked by a fish.

"Actually I'mma trout!" Tony barked in his chain smoker's voice. He quickly nibbled the ring off her index finger and began to crawl away.

Sophia wailed, "My ring! My ring!" as Tony snickered, crawling away with the diamond in his mouth.

"Never worry, m'dear!" Raz yelled, rising to his feet. "I'll get that odious bandit!"

Tony crawled past the appetizer buffet where piles of blue lobster tails, scallops and clams were carefully piled beneath a glass screen. Raz dashed over to the swindling fish, preparing to pounce, but as he did, Archibell screamed, "Nooooo!" and tackled the groom.

The pair of them crashed into the appetizer buffet, causing it to spill over them with a loud plop. People gasped and cried for the bouncers. The Fishles band broke into a rocking rendition of Fishy B. Badd as Tony continued to crawl his way across the floor.

Elise ran and scooped him up. "Gotcha," she said, holding Tony and the ring in her tiny, pale hands.

"Aww man," Tito said with a whine. "Now we can't steal from the buffet!"

"At least we got the ring…" Elise said, but suddenly, a dark shadow stretched over her. Elise looked up and saw the bride standing before her, her hands dripping with the fish sauce that Tony was marinated in.

"Ahem…" the tall brunette with the curly hair said as she reached out her hands towards Elise.

"Seriously sea-anemones," Elise whined as the bride scooped Tony out of her hand.

"I don't think any of you are really waiters…" Sophia said coldly. "In fact...I think you are P…"

"Eets alive!" A flamboyant and feminine male's voice shrieked from the edge of the kitchen.

Bunting and Sincirce both ran out of the kitchen with looks of panic on their face.

"Hey," Raz shouted, his slicked back hair coated in scallops. "It's that witch and...Bunting!"

"Yessir eet eez me, petite monsieur, Raz," Bunting said, pressing two fingers together over his former partner in love. "But never mind me, cos' eets alive!"

A sickening roar followed by a belch came from kitchen doors, before they exploded off their hinges. Elise shivered in horror as the most hideous cake oozed its way through the doorway. It was the color of bright salmon and pink entrails, and the size of the entire doorway. It had multicolored candles for teeth and large crevices in its sugary bread for eyeholes. It let out a horrendous roar, causing everyone to run like mad out of the room. But as they did, Sincirce chanted. "Magic, lock the room, seal them to their doom!"

Chains slithered around the door handles and tethered around it, sealed with a lockbox.

"Now, ho ho ho!" Bunting chortled and pointed at Sophia. "I can finally have revenge of zee woman zat stole everything from moi! All for her selfish desire to be with Raz! Behold my Bunting Cake!"

Elise looked up at Sophia who continued to hold Tony between her hands. The dainty woman in the ball gown gave a confident smirk. "Only problem is," she said, "I'm not Sophia. I mean I was, but that's not really who I am."

She pointed dramatically at Bunting with a confident smirk on her face. "I've been waiting for you to reveal yourself, Everblood!"