Soon we were heading down another forest trail. We sat under that tree for a long time. Andrian allowed me to just hold him and peacefully enjoy the moment. As the sun began to rise high in the sky and we were nearing the end of the final movement of ascent, we got up and made our way toward our next destination. I didn't know where we were going and Andrian just told me it was somewhere I would remember and that we would have lunch when we got there.
We moved easily through the thick underbrush, following the animal trails and the beastman-made passages. We had no encounters with monsters or predatory animals on our journey, but I did see groups of brightly colored birds and a group of small monkeys chattering at us and throwing things to scare us away. They were harmless, and their righteous anger made me and Andrian laugh as we hurried past.
After we'd walked for nearly a whole movement, the jungle began to thin and I was led to a large clearing that I remembered well. This clearing was where Andrian and I used to play when I came to visit. The space was a field with tall grass and wildflowers growing in abundance. There was a river running through the clearing, leading to a waterfall at the far end of the field. I knew from my memories that the waterfall was safe to jump from, and that there was a cave behind it that I'd never ventured into.
The field also had some special features built for us by Andrian's father. That's right, I knew his name was Aleksander, I realized as he crossed my mind, he knew my name was Falyn, but he always called me 'kiddo'. And he either called Andrian ‘kiddo’ as well, or ‘Andri’ when he called him by name. Andri was the name I called the cub once we’d been properly introduced. And Andrian’s father told me to call him Uncle Alek. I can’t believe it took me until now to remember that. How could I forget?
“Annndri.” I said his name aloud, frustrated with how my tongue kept feeling like it got stuck on the top of my mouth when I made certain sounds. It wasn’t only my voice that was out of practice. What few words I could muster were consistently coming out slurred.
“Yes, Falyn?” he asked, smiling when he heard me saying his name. He probably didn’t know that I’d forgotten the name ‘Andri’ until now.
“H-here… we plllay… I–” I started coughing roughly before I could say anymore. Andrian was quick to grab a waterskin from his small backpack and hand it to me. I ended up coughing water all over myself before I was done. Eventually my sputtering died down. Andrian and I looked at each other and then I looked down at my soaked shirt. Somehow the whole situation struck me as funny, and I began silently giggling at the mess I’d made. If I hadn't laughed, I might have cried instead. I’d regained my voice and all I could manage was to sound like a drunken toddler before choking half to death. I felt like the butt of someone else’s joke, so I might as well laugh along through the frustration of it all.
Andrian surprised me by laughing along with me. “It’s nice to see you looking happy,” he commented, “I know you’re feeling frustrated, but it’s good to be able to laugh a little at your own situation. Look on the bright side, it’s warm out and it’s just water anyway. If you want, before we leave, let’s jump off the falls like we used to. Think you're up for it?”
Something about him asking me if I was up for it roused my competitive spirit. When we were little, we would have races, where we would run across the field, jump the falls, and see who could reach the shore first. In the early years, I never lost a race, but as Andrian got bigger, I was often defeated. I knew he was asking me if my current body could handle it, but all I heard was a challenge. I nodded with enthusiasm to his question.
He smiled a wicked smile and said, “I can see what you’re thinking. There’s no way you could beat me now. Not in that, nor in any of our other old challenges.”
I knew he was teasing me but I couldn’t help feeling indignant. He was right of course, but he could humor me a little. It wasn’t my fault that I was weaker than I used to be. I scowled up at his smiling face.
“Let’s have some lunch and then we’ll see what we can do. Nearly everything survived the war and the years of neglect. Dad’s better than most professional builders. The only thing we’ve lost is the top platform, which we think was knocked down by a tree in a storm,” Andrian pointed to a high point in one of the trees, the one I’d usually avoided anyway.
I looked at the playground that Uncle Alek had built for us. A collection of twenty, now nineteen platforms, all connected by swinging wooden bridges, rope ladders, and rope swings. Two of the platforms had steep slides that led to the ground and another with a slide that was wrapped tightly around a wooden pole. Rope fencing was hung on the upper platforms to ensure no one would fall.
The top platform, which was no longer usable, had a long pole that you could slide down to get back to the ground. Along with the platform, I could see that the pole had also fallen. When we first found this field, it was just an open space with a waterfall, but Uncle Alek had slowly built the platforms over the course of a couple years. For a while, a new platform would be added each time I came to visit. As an adult, I had a better appreciation for how much work it must have taken him to build all of this single handedly.
Andrian led me to the base of the playground, which was a large deck on the grass, wide enough for us to spread a small blanket and sit down to eat. It seemed that, unbeknownst to me, Andrian had packed and planned very carefully. He had laid out a collection of containers containing strips of dried meat, cheese, slices of flatbread, and chopped fruit. Along with our water skins, he also packed a skin filled with juice made from crushed berries and honey. The juice had been a favorite of mine in my childhood.
We ate and drank slowly, savoring the moment. I felt like I was living a dream. It seemed incredible to be back in this place. I had so many good memories of this place, and I was happy to know that we were going to make a new one as well. I relaxed and enjoyed the simple picnic fare as the wildflowers swayed gently in the breeze. It occurred to me how much had changed since we were young. I used to be the bigger one, and Andrian was the one who couldn't talk. I wanted to laugh out loud at how our situations had reversed. Maybe that was why it was so easy for him to figure me out. Thinking about it that way made me feel a little less guilty towards him.
When we finished eating, it was time to play. I was excited, but a little worried that my years of inactivity would hinder me along the way. I wasn't weak, but I didn't have a lot of stamina. However, I had no intention of letting that stand in my way.
“Let’s start easy,” Andrian said with a glint in his eye, “First one to the bottom of the slide wins.”
I grinned and nodded. I was ready for a race, but I had a condition before we started. I crossed my arms and said,”Lll–llionnn.” I hated how hard it was to get that word out, but I tried not to dwell on it. One step at a time. For now, we were here to have fun.
Andrian raised his eyebrows, “Lion, huh? Well I guess that would make this a proper rematch.” He shifted into his lion form. I raised my hand with three fingers up and counted down. When my last finger dropped, we both ran for the platform. I realized the folly of my decision immediately. His adult lion form was huge and his speed was incredible. As a lion, not only was he faster, but he could leap impressively high. I watched helplessly as he leaped from platform to platform, able to completely skip over the obstacles. He was sliding down his slide while I stood there with my mouth agape. I felt cheated.
Andrian shifted back to his human form and sauntered back over to me, looking all too pleased with himself. “I think I won the rematch,” he said, “does that mean I get a prize?”
I put my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes. He wanted me to give him a prize after completely showing me up like that? I didn’t necessarily expect to win, but I was completely abashed to learn I couldn’t even compete.
“Please? Pretty please?” he begged with a dejected look I knew was fake. I continued giving him an aggrieved expression and he continued giving me sad eyes until we both broke down laughing.
“Wa-hat?” I asked him once I was done laughing.
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“A kiss,” he replied without hesitation, “In fact, that’s the prize I’ll claim every time I beat you.” I narrowed my eyes again. He was probably going to beat me in everything regardless, but he didn’t have to point it out so readily.
Grudgingly, I nodded. I moved close to him and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. That was all he was getting out of me for now. Or so I thought. Andrian clearly thought differently, and caught my arm while I was still in the middle of my retreat.
“You know that wasn’t the kind of kiss I meant, right?” he asked me in a low voice. He pulled on my arm and drew me in closer, pressing our foreheads together. “When I said I wanted a kiss, I meant a real kiss. One where your lips touch mine. Probably some tongue. Maybe some heavy breathing too... Or do you not want to kiss me anymore? Do you dislike kissing me now that I can beat you? Hmm?” He released my arm so he could hold my face with both his hands and gave me a pouty look.
His teasing gave me butterflies, which only made his comment about beating me all the more annoying. I grabbed his shirt collar and tugged. Andrian allowed me to pull him down and I aggressively pressed my lips to his, fighting not to laugh at his surprised inhale. Taking advantage of his surprise, I pushed my tongue into his mouth and grabbed the back of his head with my free hand.
Andrian quickly recovered from the shock and wrapped an arm around my waist. I continued to kiss him for another couple moments before pushing him back. That was enough of a kiss for his first win.
“Hmmm… I suddenly feel very motivated to keep winning,” he teased in a tone that made my knees weak. “What should we try next?”
The afternoon passed quickly as we rediscovered all of our favorite games and challenges. I didn't fare any better against Andrian's human form, but I have to admit that I had a lot of fun, even though I kept losing. We behaved like little kids and laughed quite a bit, and Andrian never once forgot to claim his prize from me. Each victory kiss became more and more heated, and I began to wish I could lose faster.
I guessed from the sun that it was close to the third movement of descent when we started wrestling in the tall grass. Andrian was in his lion form and we were running and chasing each other, trying to knock each other down and rolling through the soft grass. Andrian had the advantage of power and ability, but I was smaller and could duck and dodge him rather well. When we were young, he was the smaller one and always wriggled out of my pins, so this time I used his own tricks against him.
Eventually, he recognized his own tactics at work and was able to successfully pin me on my back. The giant lion stood on top of me, trapping each of my limbs with an enormous paw. The lion roared loudly, silencing the chatter of the nearby birds. Looking up at him, he was majestic and powerful. And smug, he was also smug. His face was the face of a lion who’d tasted victory. Andrian’s human face had the same expression. The lion shifted back into its human form and Andrian looked down at me from his position of victory.
I was surprised when he didn’t claim his victory kiss, and instead looked down at me consideringly. “Falyn,” he began cautiously, “I know we grew up together and you’ve always treated me like a person no matter which of my forms I’m in but… are you really okay with the part of me that’s a beast? I haven't been very considerate if it's something that bothers you.”
I was surprised by his sudden question. I’d never really considered it before. Andrian was just Andrian. Whether it was the little cub Andri from my memories or the strong, handsome man in front of me, he was still just Andrian. I was only attracted to his human form, yes, but the existence of his lion half wasn’t a problem for me.
“You… Allll parts… j-j-jeeust you,” I answered him with honesty before a coughing fit took me. Too many words when I was already out of breath and in need of a drink.
My limbs were released from Andrian’s hold and he went to grab my water skin. By the time he handed me the skin, my coughing had subsided and I drank deeply of the water to soothe my aching throat.
“I’m sorry,” Andrian said, abashed, “I shouldn’t be asking such questions when I know it's hard for you to answer. You’ve shown me in so many ways that you accept me, but I still question myself sometimes… I’m scared you’re going to resent me someday. There’s a part of me that keeps telling me I’m taking advantage of your situation and forcing you to accept me.”
I had no idea he felt that way. I thought I’d shown him that I shared his feelings, but without words, I could see that it wasn’t enough to make him feel secure. I felt bad about my own failings in this, but a part of me was secretly happy. His insecurity made me feel just a little bit more secure.
“I know it isn’t fair to you, but I can’t help it. I guess I want you to reassure me so I can ease my own conscience…” He looked down at the ground as he searched for his next words. I waited patiently for him to organize his thoughts. After a few moments, he said, “I’m not a human like you are and I’m afraid you’re secretly disgusted by that. I know you aren’t like that but there’s this nagging voice inside of me that tells me you hate it when I touch you, that you’re only going along with it because you’re scared of me.”
I vehemently shook my head no. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t sum any of it up with only a few simple words. This seemed to be more than just regular insecurity. Unfortunately I could understand where that insecurity had come from, given the experiences the beastmen had with humans up until now. I remember the disdain I felt from the vast majority of the Vraynian nobles at the engagement banquet. We both ignored it at the time, but I know Andrian heard it as clearly as I did, the hushed, condemning whispers.
Come to think of it, I don’t know what the majority of the Beastlands think about humans. Just like the First Prince and the eastern Duke, are the beastmen I’ve met the small minority, and the rest of them hate humans? From how he told it, Andrian openly talked about his plan to join the delegation to look for me. If most beastmen dislike humans, they probably would have said things like that to him. Considering what the humans have done so far, if they didn’t hate us before, they should hate us now. It hadn’t occurred to me that the beastmen might not be any more favorable to our relationship than the humans were.
“I wish I could tell what you’re thinking right now,” Andrian lamented, interrupting my thoughts, “but I’m just happy to see you say I’m wrong. You’re my everything and I’d do anything to keep you, but only if you want to be kept. When I needed someone the most, you appeared and became a part of my life. When you disappeared, finding you became my only purpose. Now that I’ve found you… I don’t know if I could handle losing you again. I guess I’m just scared you’re going to change your mind.”
You silly man! You found me when I needed you as well! I couldn’t understand how he didn’t see it. Then and now, there’s no difference. We were both there for the other in our times of need. Where would I be now if you hadn’t appeared and became a part of my life again? I thought hard about how to express myself and finally settled on simply saying, “Mmme… too.”
Andrian jumped at me, knocking me over, and wrapped me tightly in his arms. He squeezed me tightly for a few moments, until his pounding heart began to settle. It had probably taken a lot of courage for him to bring that up. I vowed to work hard to improve my speech so I could clearly tell him how much he meant to me.
It didn’t take long for him to feel better and start teasing me again. With his lips close to my ear, he softly reminded me, “You still owe me a prize for that last victory, but I’m going to claim it later.” He planted a kiss on my cheek and added, “I’ll claim it after we jump the falls. First one to the far shore wins. I’ll expect an extra special bonus prize if I win this one too.”
The way he said that made my knees feel a little weak. I ignored that feeling and wiggled my way out of his arms. I walked towards the treeline, which was the usual starting point. Andrian followed me over and we got ready to race. My body wasn’t used to all this exercise, so I was already sore and tired. With the spring sun high, it was surprisingly warm. I realized I was covered in sweat, dirt, and grass as well. Suddenly the cold water at the bottoms of the falls was calling me.
We stood at the ready and made eye contact. Andrian gave a slight nod and we began pushing our way through the tall grass towards the cliff overlooking the falls. We had to pass through the most overgrown sections of the field when everything was at waist height and it was impossible to run at all. We both tripped a few times as we tried to scurry through the grass. I wasn’t sure, but I thought this time I might have a chance at winning. Andrian stumbled a little more than I did, which cancelled any speed advantage he had over me.
We cleared the grass and raced toward the cliff. My lungs felt as if they were about to burst, but I still needed one last gulp of air before I hit the water. We both leapt from the cliff at the same time, Andrian’s strong legs propelling him much further out than mine could manage. I took a deep breath as I fell and prepared for impact.
Even though I was prepared for it, the cold water was still a shock to the system for me. My eyes shot wide open as soon as I was underwater and I barely managed to keep hold of the air I’d taken in. I saw Andrian crash into the water in front of me and start sinking. I realized this was my chance. His added weight would hamper him and he’d take longer to recover. I started swimming with all my might towards the shore. It was a lot harder than I remembered, but I managed to get ahead of Andrian as I came to the surface. I gasped in a couple breaths of air before pushing forward. My swimming skills were diminished to the point that I could only use a basic paddle motion, but I kicked hard and drove myself towards the shore. I heard Andrian breaking the surface somewhere behind me, but I wasn’t taking the time to look back and check. I swam as hard as I could until I felt like I might drop from exhaustion. Just before I reached my breaking point, I reached the shore line instead.
I turned to check behind me right as Andrian was catching up to me. Despite my fatigue, I couldn’t help but grin. I'd won.