I awoke the next morning in the tent I shared with Andrian, hearing the sounds of birds chirping and an army preparing to move camp. The night before, Estra had chanted me into a trance and I didn’t recall anything after. I didn’t even know how I got back. For some reason, I didn’t feel particularly concerned about it. Whatever had happened, I felt lighter, refreshed, and somehow unburdened.
Andrian was still asleep next to me, wrapped in the blanket, with his mane spread out around him on the pillow. I watched him as he slept, feeling peaceful and content. After I’d enjoyed laying next to him for a while, I carefully reached a hand across to stroke his head, smiling softly at how innocent he looked. After a couple of caresses, he lazily opened his eyes to look at me.
“Mmmm good morning,” he said as he stretched his body out, “I think that’s the best wake up anyone’s ever given me.” Done with his stretching, he lay on his side facing me and pulled me close. He placed a gentle kiss on my nose and sighed, “Aaah, I don’t want to get up. Let’s just stay like this for today. We can catch up to them later. No one would miss us anyways.”
I chuckled silently at his childish request and shook my head. Freeing myself from his warm embrace, I sat up first and grabbed his arm to pull him up. I pointed to him and then at myself, then gestured to the door of the tent. Andrian sighed again but stopped struggling to lay back down.
“Alright, alright,” he groaned and got up from the mattress we’d slept on. “C’mon, if I have to get up, you have to get up too.”
I grabbed onto the hand he extended and let myself be pulled to my feet. Hand in hand, we left the tent and went back to the stream to wash ourselves. The morning air was chilly and the water icy cold, but it woke me up almost instantly. Once we were refreshed, we rejoined the army for breakfast. Those who had already eaten were busy tearing down the camp and getting ready to depart. Despite their disorderly appearance, the beast army was efficient and worked well as a team.
The owl beastman Estra from the night before was seated near one of the cooking fires with Shidah and Luxania, and they looked like they were having a serious conversation. Seeing us approaching, their somber mood broke. They greeted us and invited us to join them. It was then that I found out that Estra had orchestrated it so that I would fall into a deep sleep when I was brought out of the trance, and Shidah had carried me back to my tent. It was a very odd feeling, to know that I hadn’t worried at all about what had happened to me while I was unconscious. I’d naturally assumed that these strangers took good care of me, and I realized that I felt safer here, a human among beastmen, than I ever had with my own people.
Andrian went to get food for us, which was being served from a collection of giant common pots. Next to the pots was a giant metal grate that had been placed above a wide and low fire, with some kind of dough being grilled atop it. When he returned, Andrian had two bowls of wheat boiled in goat’s milk, topped with berries and nuts, as well as some misshapen pieces of a dense fire grilled flatbread that was drizzled with honey and still warm. Once we had eaten our fill, we packed up our luggage and got back on the road.
Three more days and nights pass that way. We rode hard through the day and camped for the night in whatever clearings could be found in the large, overgrown forest. There was a lone pathway through the thickets, wide enough for the beastmen to ride in threes, but it was ill suited to being camped on. The knights that brought me to the capital had only been twenty men at most, so we hadn’t encountered any issues in finding areas that could accommodate us. However, the army that I traveled with now was at least a hundred strong. Finding a large enough clearing required sending scouts ahead in all directions and a lot of careful planning. Usually by late afternoon we would have to dismount and begin making our way to the nearest clearing, sometimes having to split up for the night.
For my part, I spent my days riding with Andrian as he slowly taught me how to handle the reins. By the third day, I was the one leading our horse through the sea of trees before us, down the path to the Eastern duchy. The forest got even thicker as we headed east, lusher and greener, and it reminded me of my childhood. I found myself waking each morning with more memories coming back into my mind. So far, they were all good memories, the ones that I didn’t want to remember because they reminded me of what I had lost, not because they tormented me. The ones of Andrian and his father brought me joy, but the ones of my mother were bittersweet for me. I ached for her loss more than I had ever allowed myself to before. As I recalled our times together, it began to hurt more and more to know she was never coming back. Perhaps a part of me never really accepted she was gone, or maybe this was the beginning of the grief I’d suppressed being released back into my consciousness. But bittersweet or not, I savored every one, and felt like some of the broken pieces had been put back into place.
Each night after dinner, I went back to Estra’s tent to continue my treatment. The ritual was the same each time; I would be put into a trance in his tent at the far end of the night’s camp, then wake up in my own the next morning, feeling well rested and content. After only four nights with him, so many of the details of my first fourteen years had become clear memories in my mind again. Each one felt both familiar and foreign to me, like something I’d always known and simply forgotten about for a while. But I was still afraid of the other memories and felt conflicted about whether I was ready for them or not. Estra hadn’t pushed me to look at them yet, assuring me everything in good time, and that I should be proud of making any progress at all in such a short period of time.
On the fourth morning, the forest gave way to fields again, and we began making our way to visit the Lady Carlotta at the eastern Duke’s estate in Shelfort. I heard from casual conversations over the cooking fires that there were a couple monster attacks while we were in the forest, but the seasoned beast warriors had dealt with them so swiftly that I never even noticed the disturbances.
We rode past farms and endless fields filled with crops and livestock. The owners of the farms watched the army as it passed them by, eyeing us warily but not overly concerned, since the army had passed through without incident on their way to the capital as well. Once we’d passed the farms, we began to enter into areas that were familiar to me from my youth. We weren’t heading for the village I grew up in, which was further to the south, but I’d visited the eastern city of Shelfort on more than one occasion with my mother when we needed supplies.
We traveled around the edge of the city, as the narrow streets weren’t equipped to handle such a large number passing through. As we passed through the slums on the outskirts of Shelfort, one of the wagons and about ten of the beastmen stayed behind for food distribution. Andrian explained that they had brought enough food along that they could leave enough staples behind to keep the people fed through the winter. The poor of Shelfort had suffered the worst through the war. The human army had plundered the city’s grain houses season after season, leaving their own people to starve so they could have sufficient supplies while they raided and invaded the Beastlands. I felt sick to my stomach hearing about it.
We continued on to the southern Duke’s home, located to the east, past the city and on our way to the borderland. Like my father’s home, the ducal house was a sprawling manor that was beautiful and luxurious. It was surrounded by a brick wall and had a wide gate for visitors to enter through. The guards at the entrance welcomed us, warned in advance of our intended arrival, and instructed us on where to go. They directed the bulk of the army to the back of the house, indicating they would find the barracks where they could rest there, and informed us that we could choose six people to continue on to the main house. Andrian and myself were to attend by default, as the ones who received the invitation. Luxania, Coraggio, Thoma, and Rastari were selected to accompany us. With the bulk of the army no longer at our backs, the six of us proceeded to the house.
The gardens of the estate were beautiful, filled with colorful flowers and stone paths on which one could walk. I caught a glimpse of a large pond near the center, with benches placed around it, and a large gazebo off to the side. With spring in full bloom, the gardeners were out working in the afternoon sun, trimming, and planting. They looked up at our passing but paid little attention to us otherwise. Eventually, we reached the main house and it seemed that our arrival had been reported in advance, as the eastern Duke and his family awaited us on the staircase that led to the main door.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
For just a moment, I felt fear welling up in me, remembering the night I was delivered to my father’s door. Just like then, the Duke stood with his wife and child watching our arrival. Unlike back then, I was riding atop a horse with people I could trust at my back, not bound in a wagon in the custody of the Duke’s men. The eastern Duke stepped forward as we were dismounting to greet us.
“Welcome!” he called out with a smile on his face, making his way down the stairs towards us. The blond haired Duke was young and jovial, and I forgot my initial fear with his warm welcome that didn’t remind me of my father at all. “I’m Lukas de Shelfort, this is my wife Shannah and my son Louis. It’s a pleasure to have you visit our home. My mother will be so pleased that you came.” As he spoke, he indicated to the woman at his side and the young boy who stood with them. He shook hands and offered his greetings to Coraggio, Thoma and Rastari, before planting a kiss on Luxania’s hand and finally turning to greet myself and Andrian.
“Julien de Ramport, I presume?” he asked me, extending his hand to me. I nodded and shook his hand as the generals had. “And this must be the fiancée, General Andrian, if I remember correctly."
“Ay, that’s me,” Andrian replied to him, “It’s a pleasure to meet you face to face. I’ve heard a lot about the work that your house has put into helping us end the war. You have my gratitude.”
“Ah, your gratitude isn’t needed. The house of Shelfort has been friendly with the Beastlands for years. We never supported the war to begin with, but the southern and western houses convinced his Highness the King, regardless of our protests.” The Duke shook his head, looking somewhat sheepish. “I'm afraid that, since my father’s passing, the power of the eastern duchy has been forgotten by the Royal family, other than his Highness, the First Prince.”
I smiled awkwardly at his upfront statements, and Andrian didn't seem to know how to respond to the Duke either. His good intentions were clear, but neither of us were involved in politics enough to have an opinion.
“We have much to discuss with you regarding that, actually. I gained permission from your Prince Elantro to fill you in on the details of the rather delicate situation we've found ourselves in. We can chat about it after dinner.” Rastari cut into the conversation, drawing the Duke’s attention away from us. “I don’t know how much your mother’s told you, but I can guarantee she was missing a good chunk of the story.”
I could tell by the way he was speaking to him that Rastari liked the Duke and his honest countenance, quite a bit more than he did the First Prince. He casually put an arm around the Duke’s shoulder, and they began walking up the stairs to the house, chatting like old friends. The other three generals were quick to follow behind him, and the Duchess Shannah approached Luxania hesitantly, clearly not knowing what to make of the much larger woman who didn’t wear a dress or look at all like how she thought a lady should.
Andrian and I began to follow behind but I felt something tugging at my sleeve as we reached the stairs. Looking down I saw the young Marquis holding on to my shirt. He looked to be around five or six, with his father’s blond hair and shining violet eyes.
“Wanna be my friend? We’re both the son of a Duke, so we should be friends and tell each other secrets. I’m Louis.” The little boy beamed up at me and waited expectantly for my response. It was clear that he had no idea I couldn’t answer him. I was hesitating on how to respond to his overtures, but Andrian came to my rescue before things got too uncomfortable.
“Hey buddy,” he said, crouching down so he was at eye level with the boy. The kid’s eyes widened as he was awestruck by the large beastman suddenly talking to him. “I bet he would love to be your friend, but he can’t tell you that because he doesn’t talk.”
“Oh…” The little boy seemed to think hard about this for a moment before he asked us, “Why?”
“He lost his voice and hasn’t found it yet. But I know everything he’s thinking, so if you have any questions, you can ask me.” After Andrian said that, I gave him a dubious look and raised an eyebrow. He laughed and followed up with, “See, right now he’s thinking that there’s no way I can really do that.”
The little boy giggled at his explanation then asked, “What kind of animal are you?”
“Hmmm… I better not tell you,” Andrian said with mock seriousness, “You’d probably be really scared of me if I told you.” I was glad to see he wasn’t bothered by the child’s rude but innocent question. I knew it was a sore point among the beastmen that humans considered them animals.
“Noooo! I won’t be scared! I’m really brave and I like big scary animals!” The boy jumped up and down to show us how certain he was, tugging away on the sleeve he was still holding onto.
“Louis!” The others had reached the door and were looking down at us. The Duchess had noticed her son lagging behind at the foot of the stairs and called out to him, “What are you doing to our guests? Are you troubling them?”
“I’m not doing anything, I promise. But he said I’d be scared if he told me what kinda animal he is. And I’m telling him I’m not a scaredy!” The Duke and Duchess flinched a little when Louis said the word ‘animal,’ but the beastmen smiled at the child’s enthusiasm.
“Hey Andrian,” Coraggio called out with a somewhat devious grin, “Why don’t you show him?”
Andrian looked to me for my permission first, before he looked for the Duke’s. Having received it from both of us, he grinned down at Louis and asked, “Wanna see?”
Looking like he might pass out from excitement, Louis nodded his head enthusiastically. Andrian took a few steps back from us and a lion appeared where he’d just been standing. Louis let out a high pitched scream, but it was undoubtedly a shriek of joy not terror. Andrian roared at him causing more shrill noises to escape the little boy before the lion was suddenly a man again. I could hear the laughter of the other generals ringing out from above.
“It’s time to go inside now,” Andrian informed Louis, “You’re making your mom wait for you.”
Louis nodded and ran up the stairs, glancing back at Andrian multiple times as he did. Following behind him, I felt a little melancholy. Something about that joyful little boy chasing after his mother gave me a stinging feeling in my chest. I didn’t begrudge him his happiness, but I felt a longing for the happiness that had once been my own. Andrian wrapped an arm around my waist as we slowly walked up the stairs, and planted a kiss on the top of my head. At that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder if he really did know what I was thinking, because those simple gestures of comfort were exactly what I was needing.
We were led to the dining hall where Lady Carlotta awaited us. Everyone exchanged greetings with the vigorous old lady and soon the servants began to bring out plate after plate of delicious steaming food. I soon had a heaping plate of lamb, roasted potatoes, and vegetables, plus a side plate with a light flatbread served and a dip made of blended beans and herbs. Everything was delicious and I regretted not having enough appetite to eat more. The beastmen feasted unselfconsciously, and even Luxania was able to eat more than me. I assumed they must have higher metabolisms than humans, as the Duke and his family didn’t eat any more than I. The dinner topics only covered lighter subjects, appropriate for having a child at the table. Louis was a bright and outgoing boy, who was very excited to meet so many beastmen. I found myself feeling at peace in my surroundings and enjoying the lively atmosphere.
Soon Louis was sent to bed and the adults adjourned to a sitting room near the dining hall. The servants set out a few bottles of a popular eastern spirit made from distilled flowers called fiore, and an assortment of pastries for us to snack on. Once done, the servants exited the room, closing the doors behind them. The Duke suggested we make ourselves comfortable and gestured towards an enormous horseshoe shaped couch that surrounded the table with the drinks and desserts on it.
Once we were seated, the Lady Carlotta retrieved a tray of tiny crystal glasses from the mantlepiece on the wall and began pouring drinks for everyone, playing the part of hostess perfectly. The Duchess either didn’t mind having her role usurped, or perhaps she was just used to it. Either way, she sat back and allowed her mother in law to serve their guests like she was still the lady of the house. Or perhaps she still was. The spry old lady didn’t seem like she would have taken well to retirement.
“A toast!” she announced once she had served everyone with one of the tiny glasses, each only containing a mouthful of the fiore. “To that damn stupid war being over and to new beginnings and opportunities.”
Everyone offered their cheers and downed their glasses. When the potent liquor hit my throat, I nearly choked from how strong it was. I’d never tasted an alcohol like this before and it burned its way down into my stomach. After the initial shock wore off, it left a sweet, floral taste in my mouth that reminded me of lavender and roses. I immediately felt a rush of warmth creeping up my cheeks.
Lady Carlotta chuckled lightly at my sputtering and my swiftly reddening face. She waited until I had regained my composure before she got straight to the point. “So tell me, how did it come to pass that the boy General Andrian was searching for turned out to be the son of that offensive jackass of a Duke?”