Andrian woke me up with a set of warm, mostly dry clothes and told me we had to start making our way back. I couldn’t have been sleeping for very long, as the sun was only just beginning to make its descent below the horizon, but I felt well rested from my short nap. I stretched my limbs, which felt languid and relaxed.
I dressed myself, noticing how stiff my garments felt from being laid out on the rock to dry in the sun. Thankfully, Andrian had thought to bring my socks and shoes, which I’d discarded before we jumped the waterfall. When I was dressed and ready, we left the cave, which was much easier to climb down from than it was to climb up. Once I was hanging by my arms from the mouth of the cave, it was only a little more than two feet to the ground, a drop I could easily manage.
Andrian looked disappointed when I said I didn’t need his help, but I had no intention of jumping into his arms like a child. Instead, when we were both back at the base of the fall, I jumped on him, kissed him and hung from his neck. He smiled broadly and hugged my waist, his earlier disappointment completely forgotten.
If it weren't for the sun setting on the jungle around us, we might have gotten distracted, but time was of the essence now. It was safe enough in the light, but once the sun had set, this was not somewhere we wanted to be. Though not restricted by daylight, I recalled that the monsters of the Beastlands were even more active at night. Plus, there were the predatory animals that hunted at night. Andrian could handle himself, but I had no combat skills to speak of and would have to be protected the entire time. I promised myself that I would work hard to make it so that was no longer the case.
After the joining ceremony, we’d have three moon cycles of respite before we had to travel back to Vrayna for the human wedding, and I intended to use that time well. I wanted to learn some basic fighting skills as well as explore Estra’s offer regarding learning to be a shaman. It would be good to have goals and learn new skills. As we followed the narrow trail through the trees, I felt more alive than I had ever felt before. The tension I had carried with me all this time was gone.
The sun dipped below the horizon and the forest quickly became darker than we’d have liked. The trees made it so that the embers of the sunset didn’t reach us, so it was almost completely dark within half a movement’s time. In the end, I was simply too slow as I stumbled along the path, getting caught on stray branches and tripping over roots and ivy. I had to admit that I couldn’t keep up or it would take multiple movements for us to get back to Uncle Alek’s house.
When Andrian suggested that he carry me, I agreed, not wanting to let my pride put us in danger. When he gave me the choice of riding piggyback or in his lion form, I chose the latter. Much like jumping out of the cave, accepting the piggyback seemed too much like something a father would do for his child. I may not have been as big and strong as Andrian, but I certainly wasn't a child.
Unlike when I rode a horse, there was no saddle to ride on, so I had to squeeze him tightly with my thighs and grab handfuls of his mane to make sure I didn't fall. Andrian moved carefully at first, making sure I was comfortable and wouldn't fall, then he began to move faster, covering the distance in a fraction of the time it would have taken me on foot. As we leapt and bounded through the forest, I couldn't believe I had even considered likening this to riding a horse. Horses kept all their feet on the ground and followed the lead of their rider, but this was more like flying through the trees, and Andrian was in complete control of our movements. I trusted him to keep me safe, though, so I watched the darkened trees pass us by and enjoyed the rush of our high-speed travel.
We arrived at Uncle Alek's house as twilight was settling in. Dinner was just about to be served when we got back, so we quickly changed and sat down at the table. Shidah had gone hunting while we were away, and there was a mountain of freshly grilled meat on the table with various sauces to go with it. A thick vegetable stew had also been prepared as well as flatbread and lightly charred potatoes baked directly in the fire. My stomach growled as I inhaled the scent of the meat and I loaded my plate.
A few bottles of wine, made from a mix of grapes and cherries were passed around the table as we ate our dinner. It was delicious when sipped while eating the meat, and I ended up drinking more of the wine than I’d intended. After dinner, we moved to the sitting area and more wine was brought out. Someone poured me a glass, but I barely touched it, as the room was already spinning from what I had drunk with dinner.
I lay on one of the round cushions with an overly full belly, dizzy and content. I was happy to quietly listen to the others as they talked and laughed loudly, late into the night. Thanks to the warmth of the fire and the pleasant ambient noise, I was lulled to sleep with a smile on my face. At some point I felt myself being picked up and put into bed, then a big warm body wrapped itself around me and I drifted back off, not waking again until morning.
Estra returned in time for breakfast the next morning, which was served midmorning due to everyone sleeping in after drinking all night. We ate the same type of pancakes as the morning before, this time with a thick fruit jam and heaping piles of scrambled eggs. I stuffed myself again and helped with making a few pots of that delicious milky coffee from the previous morning. After we’d ate and drank our fill, it was time to pack up and get going. I was sad to be departing so soon. The previous day had been one of the happiest I’d ever known, and even though I was excited to see more of the Beastlands, I was regretful that our time here had been so short.
“Hey kiddo, come with me for a moment.” While everyone was packing up, Uncle Alek pulled me off to the side. “I wanted to talk to you before you leave.”
The others told me not to worry about helping pack up, that they could take care of it while we talked. He led me out of earshot, over to a gravel clearing in the middle of the yard. We sat down on some redwood chairs he’d set up near a large outdoor fire pit in the center of the gravel.
"I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds, but I wanted to make you an offer," he said with a serious face, "I know a little about human wedding ceremonies, and I understand that usually the parents have a role to play... anyway, I'll be there as Andri's father, but I want to be there as your family as well."
Even if words had come easily for me, I still would have been rendered speechless by his offer. Family. It was a wonderful word.
“I never told you this, but I was very grateful to you back then,” he continued, “Andri’s mom and I weren’t on the best of terms, and I took this assignment to stay out of her hair. No one could have predicted that she’d pass so early and he’d have to come live out here with me. Especially when I had to leave on patrol, I worried about how lonely my boy was. Waiting for your next visit was often what got him through the worst of it.”
My heart ached a little when I heard that. His words made me remember the way Andrian would jump on me as soon as he saw me. I wished I’d visited more often when I thought about how excited he was whenever I came. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing he’d looked forward to seeing me that much.
“Back then, I didn’t think a human would appreciate me saying something like this, but seeing you now, knowing what you’ve been through… I hope I'm right, that even if you say no, you won't mind me saying this. Human, beastman, it doesn't matter to me. I've always considered you to be a part of our family and I hope you’ll be willing to think of me, not as ‘Uncle Alek’, but as a parent,” he said somewhat awkwardly. My eyes brimmed with tears at his request.
“You… m-mmy…” I answered him as best I could, but I couldn't think of a way to proper express how happy I felt. In my younger years, I'd longed for a father, and in more recent years, I'd prayed for a different one. I almost couldn't believe that there was someone who wanted to be that person for me.
“I’ll still be your parent by tradition regardless, once you’ve had the joining ceremony,” he laughed, “but I don’t want that to be the only reason. Normally, we call the parents of a joined partner by name, but I hope you will feel comfortable calling me dad.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice. I hadn’t realized how desperately I wanted someone who would be a real father to me, nor did I know I desired a real family so much. After life with my father, I didn’t think I could even hope for such a thing.
“Don’t just nod at me,” he jokingly scolded me, “the correct response is ‘yes dad.’”
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I couldn’t help but grin at that and managed to say, “Yes, d-dad.”
He ruffled my hair and barked out a laugh, “Much better, kiddo. I’ll be at the joining ceremony too, but I’ll be leaving a few days behind you. For now, looks like they’re all ready and waiting for you, so we better head back over and get you going.”
We departed from there, with me back in the saddle of my own horse. The journey to the trading city would take us another week, and we’d arrive with only a few days to spare. Along the way, we would pass through the largest lion village, which was a common stop for travelers coming from both north and south on their way to the trading city.
The first day, we saw nothing but jungle. A road had been built through it, a marvel all on its own. Luxania explained how they’d used a mixture of magic and might to clear the way through the trees and underbrush so travelers could always find their way. The road connected all of the villages on the western border, creating a clear way through the densest parts of the jungle. After clearing the endless trees, we would enter into the desert that occupied the central region and into the southern region of the Beastlands. The center of the desert, she told me, was a barren wasteland that was almost impassable. Travel between the eastern and western trading cities was done by detouring through the more temperate parts of the south, or by traveling further north. In the far east, the desert would eventually give way to the vast expanse of the eastern grasslands, which bordered the forest on the edge of the wildlands. No one knew how large the wildlands actually were, but they spanned the entire eastern border of the Beastlands and across the northern landscape to Vrayna. There were theories that the wildlands extended across the southern seas as well.
So the road we were traveling on connected all the western villages, as well as every other village in the Beastlands, to the two trading cities. The idea of one giant road to connect everyone was almost beyond the scope of imagination for me. The work and time that must have gone into creating such a thing was incredible.
The day passed quickly as they all took turns talking to me, trying to get me to use my voice. At first, I was reticent with my words, but I grew more comfortable as the day progressed. I forgot my embarrassment about having difficulties with certain sounds and my raspy, unpleasant sounding voice. But the more I tried, the easier it became. With only a day's worth of real practice, I was no longer getting stuck on certain consonants and could more clearly articulate what I wanted to say. However, I could only manage small sentences and had to take many breaks when my throat began to hurt from the effort.
Estra explained that beast cubs suffered the same difficulties when they first took human form. After years of hearing others speak, they knew all the words, but their mouths had trouble making the sounds. It was supposed to be a great source of frustration at first, knowing the language but not being able to speak. Everyone in the group, except Andrian, had experience with freshly changed cubs and helped me the same way they would help those cubs.
Our first night we camped in a clearing in the jungle. Unlike our camps on the Vraynian side, tonight's camp required us to take turns standing watch in case we were attacked while sleeping. I was informed that I didn't need to stand watch since I couldn't do much anyway. I hated that they were right, but I accepted the situation as it was.
After dinner, Estra still insisted that I come to his tent, this time for a different type of treatment. He told me that, even if I was doing better and feeling good, I still needed to continue with some form of therapy to work my way through what I’d experienced. I saw no point in arguing, as he was probably right. I felt like I was making a lot of breakthroughs, which probably meant I’d have to deal with the backlash at some point.
Estra set up a different kind of space for us that night, one with two cushions laid out on the ground surrounded by a large circle of candles and stones. He had me sit cross legged on one of the cushions, and began a familiar chant as he wafted smoke throughout the tent. At one point he’d explained to me that the smoke, infused with his magic through the chanting, would chase out negative energies and protect us from outside intrusion. Throughout our time together, he’d taught me how to open my third eye on my own, so I could do it without the assistance of the crystals. We were both curious to see what would happen now that I was trying this within the Beastlands, where magic flowed freely.
"Now remember what we did before," he guided me with the voice of a teacher instructing his student, "look inside yourself and find your place of power. Feel it, embrace it, but don't bring it out yet. First, let it emerge from its hiding place and saturate your soul. Feel it build up in every fiber of your being and hold it there."
I followed his instructions. The first time I’d tried it without the crystal, I’d struggled to find that place of power, eventually finding it gathered in a space near where the fog used to be. Now that it wasn’t stuck guarding the partition and was being fed by the natural magic of the Beastlands, it came out right away. I felt that power, the one that sent shivers down my spine and made me feel aware of everything, emerged from within me with a single thought. The rush was more intense than it was before. I felt giddy, almost electrified. Was something like this truly living inside me?
“Don’t look too excited,” Estra cautioned me, “it feels like a lot of power right now, but your magic is only in its fledgling state and you couldn’t do anything with it regardless. That energy burst is only because you are new to this. You have potential, but you're like a cub discovering for the first time that it has claws. One day, you could be capable of defending cities, but right now you merely have something small and sharp that you don’t know how to use. No different than someone learning the art of the sword, either. This is a skill that you must practice.”
I tried my best to listen to him through the buzz of magic running through my veins like lifeblood. He was right and I knew it, but it felt so strong as it coursed through my untrained body that had never felt powerful before.
"Now slowly open your third eye and focus on experiencing what is around us," he instructed, "today is not about training, it is about connecting and exploring. Feel everything around you as deeply as you can. Smell the smoke in the air, try to feel the worms in the ground below you, feel your clothes against your skin."
He called it my third eye, but it didn't feel like opening an eye at all. It was more like popping the cork on a bottle of wine. As soon as I released my hold on it, the energy overflowed from within me and expanded to fill the area within Estra's barrier. Everything felt alive and vibrant. I felt at one with the smoke, the worms, and my clothes.
"Very good," he said, sounding pleased, "you have a surprising amount of magic energy for a human. It's still on the low end by beastman standards, but there's room for some growth still. You'll never be able to compete with the great shamans, but you could learn enough to treat the sick and injured. If you have any knowledge of human science, that could be a great asset as well. We've only learned about this thing called a pharmacy, and it would be a great boon if we could learn more about mixing herbs. It is my belief that because of your lack of magic, humans have far surpassed us in the development of traditional medicines."
I was grateful for the library that existed in my wing of the house. If I was certain Albrecht was out of the area, I would spend hours there collecting books for my room. There were many books on history, politics, and science, alongside many fictions about intrigue, romance, and adventure. I’d read almost all of them, though mostly as a means of relieving boredom, so I wasn’t sure how much useful information I could remember.
“Now, I’m going to open my third eye and release my own magic into the area. What you want to do is allow our two energies to mingle. We’re going to connect ourselves so I can tune into what you’re feeling. Once we’re connected, we’re going to have a conversation about some of the things you’ve rediscovered, and we’ll see how you’re really doing,” he explained to me as I felt his magic slowly encroaching on mine. “All you need to do is relax and trust me. You can feel my energy now, yes? And it probably feels a little uncomfortable?”
I nodded. It was very uncomfortable. Invasive. I didn’t like this feeling at all.
“That feeling is normal,” he said, “which is why you have to relax and trust me. When two sets of energy meet, they need time to get used to each other. I know what to do, so if you can let your guard down, I’ll guide you from there.”
I took a deep breath and encouraged myself to accept that invasive burst of energy. Almost instantly, the uncomfortable feeling went away, followed by a feeling of being extremely aware of the owl beastman in front of me. I felt a bizarre sense of understanding about him. He viewed me with sympathy and as his own personal science project. His intention to help me was genuine, but not without an intense personal interest in what he could mold me into. He viewed me as a challenge and a good deed all rolled into one. He also wanted me to get better so I could be used to prove that the humans started the war on purpose. I wondered what he saw in me when our magic connected. Regardless, our interests were aligned and he meant me no harm. That was all I needed to trust him in this. His smile widened when I decided that, and I realized that he could definitely read me as clearly as I could read him.
“I’m glad you see it that way,” he said, “I will help you begin the process to regain, recover, and rebuild yourself, and start showing you how to use your magic energy properly. I’ll also help you find a teacher among the shamans in the lion village when we pass through, so you can continue after we’ve parted. I’m curious to see just how much one broken little human can accomplish. I’ll be cheering you on. Especially when it comes time for you to deal with that nasty man who calls himself your father.”
I felt his loathing for my father as he spoke, something else we both agreed on.
“Let’s talk about that right now actually,” Estra segued back to the purpose of the night’s visit, “since most of what you partitioned has to do with him anyway. Your father, how do you feel about him?”
“...him. Hate him.”