I dreamed many dreams. Endless dreams of suppressed memories, forgotten violence, and omitted knowledge. I dreamed of my mother, my father, and loneliness. I dreamed of all that had happened and all that I'd lost. My mind was freed from the magic that bound it, and in my dreams, the Falyn that is and the Falyn that was were merged into a single being.

I was ready to wake up, but I couldn't find my way back. I struggled to return, but the fog that always led me back was gone. There was nothing but the sea of memories, with no indication of which way would lead me back. I decided to swim and see what I could find, but when I tried to move, I felt myself being dragged under. I tried to fight, but I was easily pulled down into the blackness below. I couldn't breathe, but it was no use struggling as I was pulled deeper and deeper into the darkest parts of my mind. Finally, with no other choice, I breathed the ocean into my lungs, taking it all into me. As the darkness filled me, I drifted into another dream.

When I woke up, I knew immediately that I wasn't really awake. I was in some sort of dungeon, lying on my back atop a wooden plank. I could tell that I was bound tightly enough to cut off my circulation, but I couldn't feel any pain from my restraints. My whole body felt strangely numb. I was aware of it, but I couldn't really feel it.

The ceiling above me was made of stone and looked somehow wet. The walls were made of the same stone and covered with torture tools. There was a single torch in each corner, illuminating the room enough so that I could clearly see dried blood caked on the tools and splattered on the walls and ceiling. When I managed to lift my head enough to look directly in front of me, I saw something that frightened me even more than the tools and blood on the walls. Standing before me were my father and Albrecht, both of them wearing hideous smiles as they looked down at my helpless form.

“I warned you what would happen if you came back here,” my father said in a low, menacing voice.

“You can either be the beast’s bitch for the remainder of your years, or you can die. If you return, you will be Albrecht's toy, not my son."

His voice echoed through the room without him moving his lips.

“No!” I shouted, “I didn’t go back! This isn’t real. It’s just a dream.”

When my father spoke again, his voice no longer echoed through the room. He said, "And yet here we are. Does it matter if this is real or not? Albrecht here will take you, piece by piece, until there's nothing left. Dream or not, there won't be anything left of you."

Albrecht stepped forward, licking his lips, a long, jagged blade in his hands. My father was right. It didn't matter if this was real or not, I was terrified. Albrecht pulled my foot up by the toe and began to saw through my foot with the blade. I screamed even though I felt no pain. Just like my bindings, I was numb to what was happening, but the horror of seeing him slice through the side of my foot was still overwhelming.

"It's your fault, really," my father explained as Albrecht continued to saw, "if you weren't such a disappointment, I wouldn't have to do these things. All you ever had to do was be grateful and obey. Even an idiot could manage that much."

I noticed that my heel was dropped back down, and Albrecht triumphantly held up the top half of my foot. He threw it into the corner and I realized that three dog monsters had appeared and were fighting over the fresh meat. Or had they always been there and I hadn't noticed? They were big, shaggy mutts, but when they turned to face us, they all had human faces. Tarlon, my stepmother, and my sister all looked at me with blood on their faces and swallowed what was left of my flesh.

"How does it feel to know that all your suffering is because you're not good enough?" my father asked as Albrecht grabbed the toe of my other foot and started sawing again. "Your mother wouldn't have suffered if it weren't for you. You know that, right? Everything my men did to her was because of you. The pain you feel now, the pain she felt then, it's all because of you."

"No! It's you! You did this!" I managed to get a few words out between my helpless screams. Another part of me was thrown away to be devoured.

"If you had never been born, I wouldn't have done any of the things I did. So it's all your fault. If you didn't exist, no one would have to suffer." My father's cold words continued, and Albrecht cut through one of my ankles and threw the other half of a foot to the dog monsters in the corner. They fought each other happily for another piece.

The process continued as Albrecht slowly sawed his way up, feeding me piece by piece to the ravenous dogs. As he dismembered me, one small chunk at a time, my father continued to speak. I was worthless, I was a disappointment, and I deserved what was done to me. By the time they reached my knees, I was willing to agree to anything to make them stop. I still felt no pain, but I could feel a tremendous sense of loss with each piece he severed.

After what seemed like an eternity, my legs were completely gone. I'd screamed myself hoarse, but no matter how loud I screamed, I couldn't drown out my father's voice as it droned on and on. I deserved this. It was my punishment for what had happened to my mother.

The whole time he was cutting me, Albrecht hadn't spoken. He'd taken me apart in silence, piece by piece, with that disgusting, lustful smile on his face. To avoid seeing his face, I looked down and accidentally noticed how much he was enjoying his work. When he noticed where I was looking, he giggled and finally spoke.

"The next part of you I'm going to cut off and keep as a souvenir," he said, his mouth widening into a sickening grin, "maybe I'll take it home with me, or maybe I'll just eat it myself. And after I cut it off, I'm going to have some real fun with you before we start removing your arms. I'll finally get to ruin you completely. There's no one to stop me from doing whatever I want to you now. I'm going to make you cry and beg like the little bitch you are."

The fear in my heart spiked with his words. No, no, not that. Anything but that.

And then I suddenly remembered that this wasn't reality. This was my dream. None of this was real. I wasn't in my father's dungeon and I would never be at their mercy again. I was whole. I was free.

Looking down at my body with this knowledge, I realized that I had my legs back. I had almost believed that they had taken a part of me away, but they hadn't. I was still whole, no matter what they did to me. I was free now and they couldn't hurt me anymore. So why the hell was I tied up and letting them hurt me? Then I was no longer bound and I sat up. In my hand, I now held the blade Albrecht had used to cut me. In the corner, the three monster dogs were heaving and coughing chunks of my flesh onto the floor.

First, I got up from the wooden plank I was bound to and stomped on it. It broke into pieces and turned to dust. My father and Albrecht backed up until they hit the wall. There was no door for them to open and escape. This was the prison of my mind, not my father's dungeon. If I couldn't escape, neither could they. I took the blade over to the corner and slaughtered the dogs as they choked helplessly on the parts of me they'd tried to devour. The walls were soon covered with a fresh layer of blood, and I turned to my father and Albrecht, who were still standing against the wall, watching me warily.

"You pathetic boy," my father said as I approached him. "You think you can just walk away from all this. You're still weak. You're still to blame. You think you deserve happiness? Know that any joy you ever feel came at the cost of what happened to your mother. You're so selfish."

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"Enough!" I yelled, my voice echoing through the room. "I don't want to hear it anymore!" I swung my arm and sliced his throat with my blade. His blood splattered and he grabbed at his neck, trying to stop the constant spurting.

"You..." he gasped as he dropped to his knees, "you... disappointment... fail... ure..." He continued cursing me for a few more moments until he lost too much blood and fell to the ground.

"You're the disappointment, not me," I spat at him as his eyes closed forever. One down. I looked at Albrecht. One to go.

Albrecht was no longer against the wall, but bound to the plank that had reappeared at my whim. He was naked and immobilized. I approached him with the knife. He spat at me.

"You look so brave now," he said fearlessly. "You weren't so brave when I had you before. Do you remember all the good times we had together? I couldn't make you cry, but the terror in your eyes was so exciting. You'll always be mine, you little shit. You belong to me. Your father said I could have you. When I see you again, I'll... aaAAH!" He forgot how to do anything but scream as I cut off his manhood.

"You never owned me," I asserted as I dangled his severed member in front of him. "If I see you again, I'll do this for real."

"You are broken! You can't live a normal life anymore! I'll haunt you until you di– hnnngggh" I silenced him by shoving his manhood down his throat. I wasn't going to let this filth terrorize me anymore. I called three new dog monsters into the room. Albrecht's eyes finally widened in fear as the monsters approached. They tore him apart as I watched and listened to his muffled cries. After a while his screaming ceased and the dogs disappeared. There was nothing left on the wooden plank.

Alone in the room, I fell to my knees. I felt sick from what I'd seen. I reminded myself that it was only a dream and that I'd only done what needed to be done. With this, I could move on from the violence.

The room now had a door. After my stomach settled, I got back on my feet and walked towards the door. I could see light shining through the cracks and knew instantly that this was my way back. I grasped the knob and turned it, opening the door and walking into the light.

When I finally woke up, I had no idea where I was. I wasn't in my childhood home, and I certainly wasn't in a tent. I was lying in a real bed, with a pillow under my head and a blanket covering my body. The roof above my head was made of red colored wood and the air around me was warm. Looking around the room, I confirmed that I was alone. The walls were also redwood and so was the floor. The bed was placed with the head of the bed against one of the walls so that I could see the entire room from where I was lying. To my left was a wall with a curtained window to let in the sunlight I could see shining through the trees. I couldn't tell if it was morning or late afternoon. In front of me was a large wardrobe with a bench next to it, and to the right was the door to the room. Next to the bed was a nightstand on the left and a couple of stools on the right. On top of the nightstand was a glass of water and a washbasin with a cloth in it. Wherever I was, it seemed I was being well taken care of.

As I took in my surroundings, the door opened and a large man entered the room. He had deep auburn hair and a connecting beard that looked like a lion's mane, and he was wearing brown pants and a beige shirt. I felt an immediate sense of familiarity. He turned to look at me and our eyes widened at the same time. He seemed quite surprised to see me awake, and I wondered if I had somehow regressed ten years. Andrian's father broke into a huge grin.

"Good to see you with your eyes open, kiddo," he said before calling behind him, "Andri, he's awake!"

I heard what sounded like a chair falling over and Andrian appeared in the doorway almost instantly. When he saw me looking back at him, he rushed over to my bedside and grabbed my hand.

"Falyn!" he exclaimed, his eyes brimming with tears, "A-Are you okay? You've been asleep for days."

I nodded that I was okay, amazed to hear that I'd been out for several days..

"Shit, I was so scared," Andrian continued, "I wasn't sure if you were going to wake up..." He looked at me with the eyes of a lost child as his tears began to flow. Impulsively, he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my stomach. I cradled his head and squeezed for a moment before letting my arms fall to his shoulders. I looked up at his father helplessly.

"He's been like this since you got here," he said with a slight shrug. "We were all worried, but Andri took it especially hard. Anyway, I'm glad you came out of it okay. This is Andri's old room, just redecorated. That bed is there to replace the old pile of blankets.” An image came to my mind of a huge sheet forming a tent hanging from the ceiling and the giant pile of soft blankets underneath, all on top of a round furry rug. I remembered this bedroom. The realization of where I was brought a smile to my face. Andrian's father visibly relaxed when I smiled, and he added quietly, "Welcome back. From what I've been told, you've been to hell and back since I last saw you. No pressure, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here. You have been like a second son to me and my door will always be open to you."

I appreciated his words, more than he could know. I'd awoken with the knowledge I'd been missing and a clear memory of the dream I'd had before I woke up. I knew I'd succeeded in departitioning my mind, but I wasn't sure if that meant I could speak. To be honest, I was a little afraid to try. But if I could, I wanted to tell him my story. It would be easier than talking to Andrian, who I didn't think could stand to hear it, and more comfortable than talking to Estra, who was more of a doctor than a friend.

As if summoned by my thoughts of him, Estra chose that moment to come check on me. Unlike the other two, he looked very unconcerned, even a little smug.

"Ah, good evening Falyn. I see you woke up just when I was expecting you," Estra greeted me pleasantly, but shot a displeased look at Andrian, who was still kneeling beside me, hugging me. "You didn't want to wake up for us, but I couldn't find any cause for concern in your magical flow. I predicted that you would wake up sometime tonight, and I see that I was completely correct. Now, are you feeling any negative effects? Dizziness, headaches, disorientation?" I shook my head at the symptoms he listed. I felt surprisingly good after all. Estra nodded and said, "Andrian, make yourself useful and get him some porridge." Andrian jumped at the sound of his name, but quickly nodded at Estra's command. "Aleksander, you should help him. I'd like a few moments alone with my patient." For a moment I was confused as to who Aleksander was, but then Andrian's father nodded and left the room with his son.

"We're alone now, so be honest with me, are you feeling any after-effects?" he asked me again.

I shook my head again.

"What about your mental state?" he followed up, "and more than that, do you think you can speak? You were screaming a lot earlier, although I don't think you were even aware that you were doing it. Now that you are calm and conscious, can you use your voice?"

I thought about it for a moment and decided to give it a try. I opened my mouth and tried to make my voice come out. "Ah-" was as far as I got before I started coughing. My face turned red as I choked and gagged, tears streaming down my face. Estra quickly grabbed the glass of water from the bedside table and handed it to me. I drank it down to soothe my raging throat.

Estra rubbed my back as my coughing fit subsided. "Easy, easy," he said to me, "you haven't used your voice in a long time and you overused it quite badly before you collapsed. The fact that you can make some noise is enough. You may need some speech therapy, but I have full confidence that you can make a full recovery from here. He gave me a gentle smile and added, "Actually, I'm rather impressed. Your rate of recovery is unprecedented. Do you remember anything from when you were unconscious?"

"Y-yes," I croaked. My voice sounded dry and harsh, with a strange whistling sound to it, but I managed a full word this time. My throat hurt and I coughed again. Estra hurried out of the room and returned quickly with a jug of fresh water. He filled my glass and I gulped it down. By the time I finished the water, I was gasping for breath, dizzy from coughing and quenching my desperate thirst.

"I would like to hear about your experiences someday," Estra said after waiting for my breathing to settle. "Not in the near future, mind you. But one day, when you're ready to talk about it, come tell me what you saw in your visions."

"Yes... onnne... day..." I tried to respond properly, but my voice was raspy and my mouth wouldn't move the way I wanted it to. I didn't cough this time, but my throat raged at me for forcing my raw, damaged vocal chords to keep working.

Andrian returned with porridge for me to eat. He lifted me into a sitting position and insisted on feeding me one spoonful at a time. It was a little embarrassing to be fed like a baby, but I couldn't help but like the way Andrian took care of me. I felt my strength returning as I ate, but soon I was overcome by another wave of drowsiness. Andrian started to panic when he realized that I was falling asleep again, but Estra intervened and assured him that this time I was just tired.

The room emptied except for Andrian and I. He climbed into bed with me and gave me his arm for my pillow. I cuddled up to him, gratefully. As I started to drift away, I mustered the last of my energy to whisper, "A-Andri..." I felt his body stiffen in surprise at the sound of my voice. "Thannnk...you..."

I think he would have responded, but I was asleep before I could hear his reply.