I left the shaman headquarters in somewhat of a daze. I'd only gone in hopes of making a helpful connection or two, but somehow I'd met someone who was actually willing to teach me. A small part of me was disappointed that I could never learn how to do anything flashy with magic, but I was excited to learn more about potion making. I wondered if I could one day become a master of the craft. And more than anything, I was truly beginning to feel like I had a place in the Beastlands, something I’d never experienced in my homeland.
We bade Adelia goodbye and I promised to come find her apothecary when we reached the village after our joining ceremony was complete. She wasn’t attending the ceremony and would leave the trading city almost immediately, citing that she wanted to get back and reopen her store. I could understand her haste. It must have been tough to close down to make the journey here, not even knowing if she’d find what she was looking for. From the way she described it, she worked from sunup to sundown every day and was weeks behind on her appointments and special orders. If she could turn me into a capable assistant, I would relieve her burden by taking on the special potion requests, as well as maintaining the stock of basic use items. It sounded like it would be a lot of work, but I liked the idea of having a purpose. I didn’t want to waste any more of my life sitting idly in my room.
Estra brought me back to the inn where Andrian and his dad awaited me. The day had passed quickly and I was caught off guard by the early signs of sunset in the sky. Traveling the city on foot was both practical and enjoyable, but it was also quite time consuming. I realized that I hadn’t eaten since the morning.
When we arrived at the inn, Andrian was waiting for me outside. He smiled broadly as we approached and pulled me into his embrace as soon as I was within reach.
“I missed you,” Andrian said softly into my ear before planting a kiss on my cheek. "I know it was only for an afternoon, but it felt like an eternity."
“It was… weird going somewhere without you, actually,” I admitted out loud before whispering, “I missed you so much I thought I would go crazy. In the future, I think I'll have to tie you to me and take you everywhere.”
Andrian laughed and whispered back, "We can make my pendant into a collar and get a leash for you to attach it to."
Pulling away from him, I saw the playful glint in his eyes and I couldn’t help but laugh with him before replying, “Don’t tempt me. I might just do it.”
“Do what?” a familiar voice inquired. Turning away from Andrian, I saw his dad, Uncle Alek, standing at the door of the inn. He must have been waiting inside, hidden from my view.
“Uncle Alek!” I greeted him with a smile.
“I thought you said you were gonna start calling me Dad,” he said as he pulled me into a bone crushing hug and tousled my hair. “How was the trip here? Andri said you guys met some monsters in the desert.”
I shuddered a little as I remembered the Devourers, and nodded, “Yeah, we did. They were the scariest things I’ve ever seen. But I think I did alright. I even managed to kill one!”
“Your voice!” Uncle Alek exclaimed, sounding pleasantly surprised. “Andri told me it had gotten better, but it’s still a shock to hear just how much better it is.”
“It’s still a bit shocking for me too,” I told him honestly, “I thought it would take years to heal, but it doesn’t hurt at all now.”
“Well, then, let’s go use that voice to have a long chat over dinner,” Uncle Alek suggested, pulling my arm and leading me towards the inn’s restaurant which was already starting to fill up.
We took a table and Uncle Alek ordered us a mountain of food. While we slowly worked our way through the heaping plates of food, we chatted about everything that had happened before. Estra joined us for the first little bit, but excused himself after he had eaten his fill. After he left, we talked late into the night, as if making up for the lost time. Andrian held my hand when we talked about things that were difficult to speak of, but it wasn’t as hard as I’d thought it would be. Talking with Uncle Alek was no different from talking to Andrian, so I felt comfortable opening up.
But mostly, we talked about my time in the Beastlands and our plans for the future. When I brought up my future apprenticeship, Uncle Alek spoke like he was familiar with Adelia. He sang her praises so much that I wondered if he liked her for more than just her potions. When I asked him as much, he changed the subject without answering, but the tips of his ears looked a little red.
Long after the sun had disappeared below the horizon, we said our goodnights and went to our rooms. As I climbed into bed with Andrian, I couldn’t help but look forward to the next day, when we would have our joining ceremony and become one in the eyes of the Beastlands. It took me a long time to fall asleep, as the butterflies I felt in my stomach when I thought about it just wouldn’t let me rest.
The sun had just begun to rise when I awoke from my slumber the next morning. Our room was still dark and Andrian was still asleep, using my chest as his pillow. As soon as I tried to move, despite my best efforts to free myself without disturbing him, he stirred and opened his eyes. We lay there quietly for a moment, gazing at each other’s faces. The warmth he held for me in his eyes was so comforting and familiar that I found it difficult to break free.
The joining ceremony would be an all day event for us. After breaking our fast downstairs, we would leave for the dome and go our separate ways from there. We would both be prepared for the ceremony, in both body and spirit, before reuniting for the official ceremony, which would begin when the sun reached its zenith. After the ceremony, a great feast would be held, then Andrian and I would retire to a specially prepared room in a nearby temple, and spend our 'first night' together.
I was a little concerned about that last part. At this point, we were already quite familiar with each other’s bodies, which had been entangled in many ways, but there was a certain line we’d never crossed. In fact, it was something that we’d never even discussed. I'd never asked Andrian how he felt on the matter, and my own feelings were clear enough. Even if I’d shared myself with Andrian in every other way, when I thought about such things, I felt an instinctual fear and disgust. There were still a lot of bad memories that I’d yet to truly deal with. In a way, I hated Albrecht the most. Even though the worst scenario had never come to pass, he’d left scars that I feared I may never heal.
Did I dare to hope that it wouldn’t come up? The Beastlands had no expectations of chastity before joining, so there was nothing to stop Andrian from bringing it up before now. It was possible that he had no desire to cross that line, or he simply understood me well enough to know that I couldn’t accept him in that way. Even if it was the other way around, I lacked confidence in my abilities. It would be best if I avoided the subject altogether and tried to please him in other ways.
I pushed those worries aside and decided to focus on the ceremony instead of worrying about the first night. It was probably just a symbolic thing anyway. Andrian and I washed our faces, dressed ourselves, and went downstairs to the inn’s restaurant for breakfast. Uncle Alek met us downstairs and we were soon joined by Rastari, who would again be serving as an escort to ensure we made it to where we needed to be.
We ate quickly and departed from the inn. Having traveled back and forth a couple times, I thought we’d no longer need Rastari’s guidance, but it seemed that the dome wasn't our intended location. Instead, he led us to a small temple on the outskirts of the city center on the opposite side of the dome from whence we came.
There were six beastmen waiting for us outside the temple and Rastari advised that we would have to separate from here to be cleansed and prepared for the ceremony. Three of the beastmen took Andrian down a flight of stairs into the temple basement, and I was guided upstairs by the other three. The trio guiding me introduced themselves as acolytes of the temple, shamans who had chosen to forsake their tribes to become servants of the spirits. Without mentioning their former tribes, they introduced themselves to me as Lyra, Paul, and Seraphine.
The first place they led me to was a room that looked like a smaller version of a public bathhouse. They directed me to a change room with a curtain and told me I should remove the garments I was wearing and replace them with what I found on the shelf. Much to my dismay, the so-called replacement clothes couldn’t even be considered undergarments. Just two triangles of fabric that tied together at the hip. It covered exactly enough so that I wouldn’t be exposed to the three beastmen waiting on the other side of the curtain. Realizing there was nothing to be done about it, I stripped off my clothes and tied the fabric in place. Having experienced casual public nudity at both the lake and the bathhouse, I supposed I should be grateful to have something to cover myself with at all.
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When I came out from behind the curtain, the trio guided me to a small open shower in the corner that gently soaked me with warm water that endlessly fell from a skylight that showed a clear blue sky above. It felt like being caught in a gentle rain in the midst of a hot sunny day, both pleasant and surreal. I closed my eyes and savored the sensation of the water cascading over me.
Once the surface dirt was washed away, I was led to a bathtub that was dug into the floor, large enough to have steps leading down into it. The water was hot enough to produce steam and about waist deep when I stood in the middle of the tub. On one side, there was a seat built into the side that had no backrest and sat just above the water level. On the opposite side was a bench that was placed below the water’s surface where you could sit down and soak.
I sat on the bench and the water enveloped me, covering everything but my neck and head. As I soaked in the steaming water, I closed my eyes and felt the tension in my body slowly disappear. Once I’d soaked myself to contentment, I was moved to the above water seat and the three shamans began the process of properly washing me clean. Lyra took a rough textured cloth and scrubbed my shoulders and back, while Seraphine entered the tub and started rubbing the calluses off my feet with a grainy stone. Paul poured a liquid soap into my hair and washed it gently, massaging my scalp with his fingers. For my part, all I had to do was surrender myself to their pampering. It was an experience unlike any I’d had before. Even at the Royal Palace, no one had assisted me with bathing.
Once I was scrubbed, buffed, and rinsed, I was led back to the shower to wash away the remaining soap. It felt like the top layer of my skin had been removed, leaving my body feeling soft to the touch and smoother than it had even been. The three shamans dried my body with soft, fluffy towels, drying my hair for me as well. After that, I was sent back into the change room with a new, dry undergarment to put on.
I exited the change room feeling fresh, clean, and relaxed. I was led out the door of the bathroom and taken into another room across the hall. The room was lined with wooden shelves with what looked like a sleeping mattress mounted as a table.
“Lie face down on the table,” Seraphine instructed me, pointing at the mounted mattress. “Be comfortable and at ease. We will take care of the rest.”
“Thank you,” I said as I climbed onto the table.
I laid down on my stomach, resting my face on my forearm. Before long, the room began to fill with a pleasant scent, smoky and sweet, with floral and woodsy undertones.
“Feel free to close your eyes,” Lyra told me and I felt something warm and slippery being slowly poured over my spine. Suddenly, I felt hands on my back, and I involuntarily jumped from the surprise. “Shh, shh, this is part of the cleansing. We will help you release all of your physical tension so that, when the time comes, you can focus solely on opening yourself to the spirits.”
As she spoke, she began to spread the liquid, her hands gliding over my shoulders and back, slick with oil. More liquid was poured over my legs and promptly spread. Once I was coated in the oil, she moved her hands back up my body and began massaging the base of my skull before continuing to my neck. Slowly and precisely, she worked her way down my back, my arms, and my legs, carefully digging into each individual muscle, leaving me limp and languid from head to toe. The oil smelled of lavender and something I couldn’t identify. That, along with the smoke wafting through the room, created a scent that swaddled me with a sense of tranquility.
When she was done with my fingers and toes, I was turned over and oil was poured over my chest and abdomen. The oil was spread by her hands over my torso, then up to my neck and face. My whole body tingled pleasantly. My relaxed body state heightened my awareness and left me both light and lucid.
Seraphine and Lyra assisted me in standing up and led me through a third door into a windowless stone room that was lit by torches upon the walls. In the center was a large stone with a flat top and crystals hung from the ceiling like little stars that gleamed in the torchlight. Paul waited for me there, wearing a dark red robe, looking solemn and serene. I felt like I was walking on a cloud as I approached the stone altar.
“Thank you,” Paul said softly to the other two, “I will take it from here.”
They both nodded and left the room, closing the door behind them.
“Please lie face up upon the altar,” Paul instructed in a soothing voice, “you have been physically cleansed and the tensions of this world have been erased from your body. Next, we shall do the same for your mind and soul. Once we have completely cleansed your entire being, you’ll be purified and ready to be joined in the eyes of the spirits. While you have been with us, your partner has undergone the same cleansing, so that he too will be purified and ready. I will be putting you into a trance-like state and guiding you through a self purification. The spirits will greet you once you are tranced and ready.”
Interesting, I thought as I lay myself down as he’d instructed, this sounds a lot like what Estra did with me the first night I went to his tent. Trancing is what he called it, too. So it’s for more than just treating maladies of the mind.
Despite my expectations to the contrary, I found myself to be quite comfortable on top of the hard stone surface of the altar. I stared up at the stone ceiling and waited. Without asking me to drink tea or anything else I remembered Estra doing, Paul began chanting in a low voice. The timber of his voice sent shivers down my spine and I almost felt like I was floating. I found myself being enveloped in a warm white light that soothed me and lulled me into a dream-like state.
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them there was nothing but white light. With the light surrounding me, I couldn’t move my body or see, but I felt strangely calm about that fact. I didn’t need to move right now, so why should I worry about it?
“Let go of your worries, let go of your doubts,” a voice echoed in my mind, “from the in-between we have been called.”
I was certain that the voice didn't belong to Paul. It was a voice I didn’t recognize at all. But it was a beautiful voice, familiar yet unknowable.
“Do not be afraid, human friend,” a different voice rang out, “we’re here to place our blessing upon you.”
“You are one who wishes to receive our blessing, are you not?” yet another voice asked.
“He does not yet know who we are,” the first voice responded, “He is from the place we cannot go. Of the species that forgot us.”
“Yet he seeks our blessing?”
“He knows not whose blessing he seeks. He wishes to be joined with one of our children.”
“Should we allow it?”
“The child who is ours desires it. He is also calling for our blessing.”
“He wishes to receive our blessing and he also wields some of our power.”
“He is a child of both lands then.”
“From the place we cannot go, born of the people who forgot us.”
“Reborn into a new life.”
“Our child is already bound to him, by a one sided leash of his own devising.”
“Bound?”
“His bonded mate. Unreciprocated but not unwanted. Humans cannot grasp the ties that bind.”
"Then he can also be our child."
“Child, do you wish for our blessing?” the second voice asked me again, after a cacophony of voices had sounded, all at once.
“I do,” I answered, “though I’m not sure what that means. You’re the spirits right?”
“Yes.”
“The spirits is what they call us.”
“We have many names.”
“We are the voice of magic itself.”
“We are the source.”
“We are energy personified.”
“But do not mistake us for gods.”
“We are the energy of the land and the memories of times long past.”
“Our blessing can bring many things.”
“Whatever form it will take is up to you.”
“To cleanse you of the darkness that is chained to your heart.”
“So you may offer a pure heart to your mate.”
“This is not absolution.”
“We cannot erase the past. What’s done is done.”
“We do not heal, we purify.”
“Pure heart and pure soul, this is how you must be joined.”
“We offer this to our children so two souls can become one.”
The different voices echoed through my mind like they were my own thoughts. I calmly accepted their explanation. I would receive no healing but I would be purified of the darkness, so we could join our souls. It wasn't until that moment that I realized what a true joining would mean. This wasn't just a marriage. Our fates would be bound together for the rest of our lives, two halves of one soul. My heart felt like it was going to explode right out of my chest. After today, Andrian would truly be mine forever. I couldn't be abandoned or forgotten. He would be bound to me in this life and beyond.
I asked them to please give me their blessing.