The size of western trading city was on a scale unlike anything I’d ever seen before. At first it looked like a tapestry of disorganized chaos, but I quickly realized that the city was methodically separated into districts and further broken down into sections and streets that were marked by carved wooden signs. We had entered through the southern gate of the city, which landed us within the boundaries of the fire district. There was also a water district, a tree district, and many others. Our eventual destination was simply referred to as the city center, which was the hub for the beast army, the council of elders, and all the major social gatherings that took place in the city.
The lion village, despite its vast size, had the same sense of community that the smaller villages did. People had a sense of belonging there and . The trading city was like a whole other world. It was like swimming through a sea of people, where faces blended into one anonymous blur. As we made our way through the city, it felt like we were just part of the scenery, with barely a glance coming our way from the passersby.
We navigated the vast metropolis filled with streets, alleys, and various types of shops. The buildings themselves seemed to be carved out of the desert itself, architectural marvels made from sandstone and granite. The winding streets and alleys were like a maze, weaving around countless buildings where merchants and artisans sold their wares. The street markets were densely packed, hosting a myriad of smaller stalls and vendors, but there was still ample room for us to travel the streets on horseback in search of an inn.
Andrian had told me in advance that he’d never been to the western trading city, but he’d spent ample time in the eastern one, which was very similar in organization. Estra and Luxania led us to our destination, as they were the most familiar with the city. Estra, being a member of one of the nomadic tribes, knew his way around almost everywhere in the Beastlands. Luxania knew the western city well, as it was very close to the lands that belonged to the fox tribe. After the joining ceremony, she would return to her village, which was less than a day’s ride to the south once you were out of the desert.
Shidah, on the other hand, looked as lost as I did. The bear tribes were all concentrated in the north of the Beastlands and he’d had little occasion to travel far enough south to enter either of the trading cities. I got the impression that he had little desire to do so anyway. However, unlike Shidah, I found the whole experience to be exhilarating, whereas he looked like the large city was an inconvenience he wished would disappear. He hadn’t looked like that when we were in the lion village, so I could only assume that the enhanced scale of the city was too much for him.
We wove our way through the labyrinth of streets until we reached an inn that both Luxania and Estra recommended. Similar to Vrayna, there were inns of varying quality and price, with some being safer than others. They had agreed on this one mostly based on how safe it would be to bring me, a human, there. While I was assured that no aggressive actions would be taken against me for being human, they wanted to avoid places known for things like drunken brawls that I might accidentally get involved in. Or so they told me. After my experience with that wolf family in the lion village, I couldn’t help but think that they were trying to avoid me running into beastmen who wouldn’t welcome a human in their midst. I wished they wouldn’t bother. Since that evening in the bathhouse, I’d come to terms with the fact that I was an unwelcome guest in the Beastlands, at least for some. I was okay with it because there would also be people like Andrian’s friends, who would welcome me with open arms. After spending so long being despised by everyone around me, only being disliked by some was a vast improvement. Plus, I couldn’t help but understand any natural prejudice they might have; I knew well enough that humans could be bigger monsters than the creatures that came out of the wildlands.
Luxania secured a couple of rooms for us and a nest on the roof for Estra, a common feature in all inns, as I now understood. I kept my hood over my head when we went to the inn's tavern for dinner and steered clear of the public bath. Mindful of the effort they had put into choosing the inn for my comfort, I thought it best to avoid drawing attention to myself. I didn't want their efforts to be in vain.
We had an uneventful but delicious dinner. There was a fire pit in the middle of the table so we could order various types of meat and grill them ourselves. Alongside the grilling meat, there were plates of cooked greens, vegetable soup, roasted potatoes, and, of course, flatbread. Satisfied, we retired to our rooms for the night. Unlike the previous inn where Andrian and I shared a room with two small beds, this time, we had one large, luxuriously soft bed to share. It was big enough for an entire family to sleep on and luxuriously soft. We washed our bodies with wet cloths from a washbasin and climbed into the bed without putting on new clothes.
The feel of Andrian’s skin against my own, so warm and inviting, was exactly what I needed after such an overwhelming day. It wasn’t until I was entwined with Andrian with my head on the pillow that I realized how close I’d come to dying this morning. If I hadn't gone to retrieve the sword, swung it even a second later, or failed to remember the healing potion in my bag... I had gotten lucky. One misstep, and I would have left Andrian all alone. I held him tightly, attempting to push aside the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Finally hit you, huh?” Andrian asked me. Since he had wrapped himself around my waist, he was looking up at me from my chest. Only lying down could I feel tall next to this man.
I nodded, not trusting my voice. My brush with death didn’t even feel real to me, but the horrible, guilt-inducing, heart wrenching images in my mind of what my death would do to Andrian wouldn’t leave me alone. It made me want to cry for a future that hadn’t come to pass. I hugged his head against me and closed my eyes again the onslaught of emotions coming over me.
“When I saw you bleeding like crazy and killing that thing… I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life. But you were so calm about the whole thing, so I pretended I wasn’t bothered because… as scared as I was, I was also really proud of you for handling yourself so well,” Andrian confessed in a muffled voice, his face pressed against my chest. I felt his arms squeeze my waist, as if he were trying to make sure I couldn’t escape. “I won’t ever stand in your way, but you have to promise me that you won’t disappear on me again. Now that I’ve found you, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you again.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as he spoke. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, but somehow, I felt like I had. My voice cracked a little as I reassured him, "I have no intention of disappearing or dying or anything else. This morning... situations like this morning are one of the reasons why I've been trying to learn how to defend myself. I can promise you that I'll never put myself in a situation like that on purpose."
“I know you wouldn’t,” Andrian sighed, “and to be honest, who knows what might have happened if we hadn’t done what little training we have. I can see now that teaching you how to take care of yourself is the best way to protect you. Although I admit, I’d rather keep you locked away somewhere safe where no one but me can find you.”
I laughed and answered, “Only if I can lock you away too.”
"You can," Andrian said, looking up at me with a far too serious face. "If that's what you want, we can go to a place where no one will ever find us, and it can be just the two of us on some remote mountain top for the rest of our lives."
The offer was surprisingly tempting, despite sounding utterly insane. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I hoped he was. I also hoped he wasn't. However, even if he was serious, I didn't think that was something that would make Andrian happy.
“I think that might be a little much,” I finally answered, “but I wouldn’t mind a vacation house on that mountain top. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I meant to ask you where we’re going after all this is done. Estra had asked me about where we’d be living and I realized I have no clue what your plan is. To be honest, I haven’t even thought about what comes after all this.”
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Andrian burst out laughing and replied, “Would you be upset if I told you I have no plan? I guess the first thing I’ll need to do is ask for a reassignment or something, since I have no intention of taking you to the eastern front. If they don’t want to reassign me, I can always quit.”
“You can just quit like that?” I asked, amazed by how casually he said such things.
“Of course I can quit. I’d have to find something else I could do instead, but I’m not sworn to serve for life or anything. I can retire whenever I choose to,” he explained to me, “Is that not how it works in Vrayna?”
I shook my head, “No, not at all. There’s three types of official soldiers in Vrayna: the knights, who are sworn for life and their positions are often hereditary; the King’s army, who volunteer to serve for life; and the conscripts, ordinary people ordered by Royal decree to be cannon fodder for the King’s army. The conscripts can’t say no and they fight until they die or we win. The only ones that have any freedom are the mercenaries, but they're not sanctioned by the Crown so they aren’t official.”
“Well, even as a general, I am free to go at any time. Though, it’s more likely that they will agree to reassign me, considering the circumstances,” Andrian said confidently, before growing quiet for a moment. He softly added, “You know, sometimes I forget that this is technically an arranged marriage. When I'm with you, I don't think about things like peace treaties and war.”
“I wish I could forget so easily…” I muttered quietly, “At this point, my only regret is that we still have to go back to Vrayna for some overly grand ceremony filled with people like my father.” My mood instantly darkened as I thought about it. "I wish this could only be about us and not about politics."
“Then let’s just think about ourselves and forget about politics. Besides, I’m actually glad that we’re going back to Vrayna. I understand why you don’t want to, but there’s a lot to look forward to,” Andrian’s eyes sparkled in the soft moonlight coming through the window, “First, it means that we get to be twice joined. Once for each of our homelands. I like the idea of us being official mates in the eyes of both our peoples. Second, there were some quality humans, like that Duke that we stayed with and even that stuffy Prince Elantro guy, so I wouldn’t mind seeing those folks again. Plus, we have one more reason to go back. Aren’t you looking forward to seeing your father and the people like him finally suffer for what they’ve done?”
His first two reasons were actually quite sound, but it was the final reason that gave me pause. Even if I didn’t want to go back, wouldn’t it be worth it to witness my father’s downfall? I still had a part to play in this after all. The beastmen had been upfront about helping me find my voice so I could help them take down my father, but I hadn’t really believed it would happen. Now that I had my voice back, I had a duty, not only to my mother, but to the Beastlands and the common people of Vrayna, to use that voice to speak out against my father.
"Thank you," I said to Andrian. "With so much going on, I'd forgotten that there was still something I have to do. I won't really be free of his shadow until he no longer has the power to come after me. And I owe it to my mother and myself to go back there. I've been so focused on us that I wasn't thinking about the big picture. My father and his men need to be punished, and I'm the only witness to what they've done."
Andrian shifted his body so we were face to face, his head back on the pillow. His eyes searched mine for a moment before he spoke. “I’m glad you’re focused on us. There's a lot of time between now and then, and you really don't need to worry about all that just yet. Elantro said he’d investigate on his end too, and what matters right now is you and me. I only brought it up because it occurred to me that there will be a lot of extra people at our joining because of the treaty.”
"I suppose so. I hadn't really thought about it..." I paused for a moment, a hint of concern flickering across my face, "But now that I have, I'm a little worried. I should have expected this based on what the engagement party was like, but how big of a ceremony is this going to end up being? And should I be worried about how it's going to be received? A lot of the Vraynian nobility were against the treaty."
"Well, it was voted on by all the generals, the area marshals and marshal generals, their superiors on the military council, and the council of elders of each village," Andrian counted his fingers as he listed each group. "The vote was unanimous in favor of the treaty, but there were many who cast their votes with the wildlands in mind, rather than peace with the humans. So, at a minimum they all see this as necessary and don't oppose the ceremony."
"But, how many will actually be there to support us?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Less than half," Andrian told me bluntly, "but there may be more in our favor now. Some objected to the idea of an arranged marriage, which is common for humans but almost unheard of for us. Our situation is quite different from what we consider an arranged marriage, which will help a little. But as I said, everyone voted for this. There’s no opposition to the ceremony, just folks who don’t like humans.”
"I can live with that. I don't much like humans either," I said with an ironic laugh. "Everything terrible I've ever experienced has been perpetrated by humans. Besides, from what you've told me about the Beastlands, I can see how messed up we are. All we’ve ever shown to the beastmen is how awful we can be."
"There are a lot of awful people out there, yes, but there are also good ones. I meant what I said to those wolves in the bathhouse. If you only look at the worst examples of the species, of course humans are awful," Andrian gave me a pointed look as he said that, "But what about the best examples? We can't blame the entire species for the actions of a select group. Besides, how could I ever say I don't like humans when my favorite, most cherished person is a human?"
I laughed with significantly less irony as he proceeded to nuzzle and tease me, expressing how much he adored me. I loved how he always seemed to know what to say to make me feel better. Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were caught between two worlds, with neither side truly in favor of our union, all because I was human and Andrian wasn't.
His teasing ended with him sealing my lips with his, kissing me deeply before pulling away. "I don't give a shit what either side thinks. Whether they support us or not, it doesn't matter. I found you, you were willing to come with me, and we're going to be joined, married, and whatever else I can think of to bind you to me for life. We'll have plenty of time to make up for the last ten years, and we'll be better, stronger people together. As an added bonus, our union will be a symbol of peace. People can dislike it all they want now, but we'll be remembered by future generations as the love that brought peace to two nations. So why worry about things that don't matter?"
I sighed, "You're right. But it's hard not to worry about those things. Is it so wrong for me to want everyone to either be happy for us or not bother coming?"
"You're not wrong, just not realistic," Andrian answered honestly. "I felt the same way before. I wanted everyone to support me or leave me alone, but there were a lot of people who called me crazy and told me you wouldn't want to be found. If I had let them get to me, we wouldn't be here now. What matters is that we know what's best for us and the people who matter will be on our side."
“Fine, I concede. I’ll just be grateful for the people who support us and forget about the rest," I said as if I had lost an argument. But it really would be better to just let it go and focus on the people who were important to us. But it was hard to let go of everything I’d been through, and living as someone that even servants would disdain had left its mark on me. I wanted people on my side. I didn’t want to be despised. I didn't want to struggle anymore.
I spoke without thinking as a thought came to me, "Andri, when this is all over, do you think there's a chance you could be assigned something in the big lion village we visited? Since you have friends there and your father is close by... I think it might be a good place for us."
"That sounds good to me," Andrian agreed, before adding, "See? This is exactly what I was trying to tell you. The people who really matter have already accepted you. So who cares if some general from some tribe we'll never have to deal with doesn't like that you're human?"
When I thought about it like that, it really felt like I'd been worrying about nothing. I would have said something else, but as soon as my worries were alleviated, the day caught up to me and I felt a wave of tiredness roll over me. So, instead of responding, I let out a huge yawn.
"I'm taking that as a sign that we should try to get some sleep," Andrian observed after I was done yawning. I nodded and tried to snuggle even deeper into his embrace. He kissed my forehead tenderly and whispered, "Good night."
Feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder, I drifted off to sleep.