Later that night, I lay in bed with a full stomach and a heavy heart.

Our meeting at the tavern with the beast generals ended rather quickly, as it turned out that there really wasn’t much to plan. The Beastlands army had done most of the planning, and all Andrian and I had to do was follow them. Our role was to have our human wedding ceremony and celebrate our second marriage, and only then would it be time for me to reveal myself. We would tell Elantro the truth, but for the Vraynian nobles, I would play the role of the mute until the right occasion arose.

When we were done with the generals, we went directly to Adelia’s shop to let her know I’d be leaving on the morrow. She hugged me tightly and made me promise I’d come back to work as soon as I returned to the village. I gave her my promise and accepted another hug. I hoped she would miss my company as much as she missed my potions, but I felt just the slightest bit guilty knowing she would have to do so much extra work while I was gone.

We also went to the school, so Andrian could say goodbye to his students and leave instructions for his staff. While Andrian took care of his work, I went to visit the second year class I’d been training with. Tanys seemed almost distraught at my departure. She made me promise over and over again that we would come back. From my own experiences, I understood that she was projecting the trauma of losing her parents onto Andrian and I, and I did my best to reassure her.

However, there was a part of me that felt like I was lying to her when I offered that reassurance, given that I was trying to assuage my own anxiety while doing so. I wasn’t going to battle, at least not the way her parents had, but it somehow felt like I was.

After that, there wasn’t much left for us to do. We’d known this day was coming, so we were pretty much prepared to leave at any time. So we went home and packed our bags with everything we'd need for our upcoming travels, then had dinner with Rastari, Auntie Dorie, and Granny Melena as planned. Watching the two old ladies ordering Rastari around was a nice change from being ordered around. However, whenever the ladies' backs were turned, Rastari would glare at us with a vengeance in his eyes, and we laughed at his indignation.

Once the sun had set and dinner was over, we bid everyone goodnight and went downstairs to spend one last night in our home.

As we settled under the covers, all of the emotions I’d been suppressing throughout the day fought their way to the surface of my thoughts. I had to go back. Even knowing I’d have Andrian at my side, I was scared. I didn’t feel ready.

“Andri,” I whispered, “can I really do this?”

“Do what?” he asked, shifting his body to face me. Then, with a cheeky smile, just barely visible in the moonlight, “Go to sleep?”

Despite myself, I smiled at his silly question. “I doubt I’ll be able to do that either... Now that we're about to leave, I’m so scared I can’t even think straight.”

“What are you afraid of? You know I won’t let anything happen to you,” Andrian assured me. “There’s a lot of enemies, but the person with the most power is on our side. Elantro might not be King yet, but I don’t think your father would dare act against him. Even that asshole Eduard heeds his brother’s will. And if all else fails, the Beastlands army will protect you too.”

“It’s not as simple as all that though,” I told him. “I'm afraid I'll become the person I was back then. Someone broken, mute, and terrified. Going back there, it feels like going back to that and… You know what it was like for me there. I'm afraid of more than just my father. There's also that man. The one I told you about before.”

“You know, I’m certain it could be arranged that I personally castrate that bastard for you,” Andrian offered with a dangerous glint in his eyes. He still hadn’t heard the worst of it, but he knew enough that I didn’t doubt his words. “Or you could do it yourself, if you prefer. When this is all over, I'll make his mangled corpse my present to you. And before that, I promise I won’t let him touch you.”

“Even if he can’t touch me, the thought of having to be near him again makes me feel sick inside. I’m not afraid of what he’ll do, I’m afraid of what he’s already done and how it makes me feel. It’s the same with my father. I’m afraid of feeling that way again. Worthless, helpless, pathetic. And now I have to stand in front of them and everyone else, and I have to admit how much they hurt me,” I felt my eyes welling up with tears as I spoke. “I understand that they’re the ones who did something wrong, but… I’m ashamed of what I let them do to me.”

“You didn’t let them do anything. Everything you experienced, everything you felt, and everything you still feel, it’s not something to be ashamed of. You can stand in front of them with pride, because they tried to break you and they failed,” Andrian took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. “You won. They hurt you and you overcame it. It just proves how amazing you are.”

For a moment, I was rendered speechless. Those words penetrated my heart and the tears I’d been trying to hold back overflowed. Andrian’s hands released my face so he could pull me into his arms. As I unabashedly sobbed in his arms, I once again appreciated how lucky I was that Andrian had found me. Who else could find a way to turn my worst shame into my pride?

“I–I love you so much,” I gasped, burying my face in his neck, which was wet from my tears. “Promise me. Promise me you’ll never leave me. Now that I know what it’s like to be with you, I can’t ever live without you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, “I’m yours, remember? I could never leave you.”

“Mine?” I looked up at him hopefully. He’d said it so many times before, but I needed to hear it again and again. I needed to know that he was entirely mine.

“All yours. Forever. I belong to you body and soul,” he vowed, taking my simple question seriously, as he did every time I asked it.

My tears had stopped flowing, and I sat up, wiping the remnants away. I smiled at him through bleary eyes and said, “Don’t forget it. You belong to me and no one else.”

“How could I ever forget?” he asked, sitting up and taking my face in his hands once more. “I’m Falyn’s Andri.” He kissed my lips tenderly. “Falyn’s mate.” He kissed me again, deeper this time. “I belong to you.”

When he kissed me again, I grabbed onto the back of his head to make sure he didn’t pull away again. Our tongues entwined and we lost ourselves in each other’s touch; tears turned into comfort, which turned into something else entirely. He stroked my ear with his fingertips and a shudder ran through my body.

Suddenly, I was underneath him, pressed into the bed by his weight above me.

“Andri…” I breathed his name when he released my lips for a moment. “Mine. My Andri.”

“Mmm, yes, I’m all yours,” he murmured as his lips traced the same path as his fingers had. My head felt tingly as his voice sounded in my ear and his breath tickled my skin.

“Kiss me,” I demanded, emboldened by the heat that radiated between us.

“As my Falyn commands,” he said before moving his lips back to my mouth. He pressed his lips to mine, slow and gentle, a very chaste kiss compared to the one before it. He pulled away and asked, “What else does my Falyn command?”

“More. Kiss me mo–” My words were cut off as he complied with my demands. This time, there was nothing chaste about the way he gripped my jaw tightly, forcing my lips to part for his invading tongue. My fingers dug into his hair and I opened my mouth wide to accept him. He kissed me like he was eating me and I responded in kind, tightening my grip on his hair so I could control his movements.

Small moans escaped from him, as I caressed the roof of his mouth and traced the shape of his teeth. The tip of my tongue grazed his sharp, fanged canine and I felt a sharp pain. The taste of copper invaded our kiss, which Andrian swallowed down, releasing a low guttural sound from his throat as he sucked the blood from my wound.

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His intense, animal reaction made my heart pound in anticipation as a rush of pleasurable fear ran through me. I felt like I was his prey, yet somehow I was the one asking to be eaten. It was a thrilling feeling, to be helpless under him, yet knowing he would never truly hurt me.

“Mmm, you have no idea how good you smell right now,” he growled, shoving his nose into my neck. “You make me want to eat you up.” I shuddered as he breathed heavily into my neck, licking my skin hungrily.

I writhed against him and he pinned my arms above my head. Pulling away from my neck, Andrian hovered above me, watching me with predatory eyes. My lower body had already begun to react to him. I was torn between wanting to be devoured and wanting to tame the beast before me.

I struggled fruitlessly against his hold on my arms and pressed my lower half against him, not hiding the blatant desire in my gaze. After what we'd just talked about, a part of me felt that giving my control away to Andrian would put me one step further away from the things that I feared. Every part of me I gave to him was a part of me that they failed to take away.

Leaving one hand free to hold my hands, he caressed my sides and chest. His gentle touches were a sharp contrast to the unyielding grip he had on my hands and his devastating kisses. I fought against his grip, constantly trying to free my arms, but I definitely didn’t want him to stop. It was a dangerous game we were playing, one that I wasn’t sure I would win. I wasn't sure I wanted to win. The slight thrill of fear I felt with every touch only served to heighten my response to him. He’d never been like this with me before. I wanted more.

Andrian finally released my mouth again and I gasped for air. He chuckled and asked me, “Is my Falyn pleased with his mate? What can I do to please you more? Command me and I will obey.”

“D-don’t stop,” I whispered, averting my eyes. It was embarrassing to say out loud, but I knew from experience that I had to say it out loud for him to continue.

“What don’t you want me to stop? Do you like it when I touch you, when I kiss you?” He leaned in close again and licked my earlobe before tickling my ear with his voice, “or do you like it when I hold you down like this?”

“All of it. I like all of it. Please?” My face was completely red as I looked at him with pleading eyes. I wanted him to make me forget all my unpleasant thoughts. I didn’t want to think about Vrayna or the horrors of my past, I just wanted to lose myself in his embrace.

Suddenly my hands were free and I heard the sound of fabric being ripped. By the time I realized he’d torn off a piece of our bedsheet, he was already using it to bind my wrists together. I waged an inner war with myself, half of me aroused and the other half trembling as he tied me up, leaving me helpless before him.

“Keep your arms above your head,” he instructed when he was done. “If you don’t like something, lower your arms and we stop. I won’t do anything you don’t like, but if you get scared or change your mind, just lower your arms. Otherwise, no matter what you say, I won’t stop.”

Andrian reached over, opened a drawer in the bedside table, and took out a bottle of oil from inside. My heart pounded rapidly when I saw the small bottle in his hands. We hadn’t used such a thing since the night of our joining. We’d been intimate many times, but we always finished before we got to that point.

I carefully tested my restraints and discovered I was tied too tightly to get free of my accord. He promised he’d stop if I lowered my arms, but for the first time, I had nothing I could do if he ignored me. Before I had a chance to think too much about the situation, he was already sucking and biting my chest.

He pulled off the loose fitting pants I’d put on to sleep. His mouth swiftly moved lower, and in a single motion, he unhesitantly swallowed my already straining erection deep into his throat.

I gasped and moaned in response, “Hnng, Andri, so– so good, ah!”

He began to move his head with fast, rough motions, twirling his touch around my tip each time he came up before taking my entire length back down his throat. We quickly found a rhythm with me thrusting my hips up to match his movements. I wrapped my legs around his head, trying to push even deeper into his mouth. Right as I was reaching my peak, he grabbed my hips and held me in place, his face pressed tightly into my abdomen.

I cried out loud as I released deep into his throat. Somehow, despite how desperately I wanted to hold onto his head, I’d managed to not move my hands from where Andrian had left them. If I had, he might have stopped. The intensity of dividing my attention between keeping my hands in place and feeling what his mouth was doing to my body overwhelmed me. The world went white and static for a moment, and I was left panting on the bed, basking in the afterglow.

I didn’t have long to recover before Andrian was straddling my chest and I was face to face with his own arousal. Pinned by his weight and bound at the wrists, I had nowhere to escape as he pressed his tip against my mouth and coaxed me, “Falyn, don’t you want to devour me too? Open those pretty lips for me.”

I wrapped my lips around him and slowly took part of his length into my mouth. From the angle I was at, there was no way I could take him as deeply as he took me, so I alternated between licking up and down his length and taking him as deep into my mouth as I dared. His careful movements as he rubbed against the roof of my mouth felt so good, and I felt my lower half begin to recover its energy.

Andrian took the bottle and poured some oil onto his fingers, reaching around to his backside. I couldn’t see what he was doing, but I instinctively knew he was getting himself ready for me. That knowledge encouraged my movements and I fought to fit more of him into my mouth. He groaned above me before pulling away, freeing my lips so I could speak.

“Can I… is it okay if I hold your wrists down? And, uh, be a little less gentle?” he asked in a raspy and hesitant voice.

Looking up at him, flushed and desperate, but holding back so he didn’t scare me, I couldn’t say no. I nodded my head ever so slightly. He grabbed my wrists roughly, but his voice was gentle, “Say it out loud. Tell me you want this. We can stop here if you don't.”

“I want it,” I answered automatically, mesmerized by his voice.

“You’ll have no way to tell me to stop…” he warned me, but his eyes filled with something animalistic that I’d never seen in them before. It seemed he was giving me one last chance to push him away.

“That’s okay, cause I don’t plan on telling you to stop,” I told him, straining to lift my head so I could graze his tip with my tongue. A shiver ran through his body and he pushed a pillow under my head to keep it elevated before pressing his hard length back into my mouth. The added pillow changed the angle enough that he could safely push deeper than before, past my gagging point, and into my throat. I took calm deep breaths as he continued pressing into me, relaxing myself and breathing around him. He waited for a moment to make sure I was getting enough air before starting to move his hips in a shallow motion. Even though his movements were small and still relatively gentle, the sensation was far more intense than I was used to. His eyes never left my face.

From there, I lost myself in his painfully tight grip on my wrists and the feel of him sliding in and out of my throat. The hand that was loosening his rear was still moving, and the anticipation of what would come next left me bucking my hips and twisting my body beneath him. His voice grew ragged as he moaned above me, before he suddenly slid himself out of my throat and the weight on my chest shifted downwards.

He poured more oil from the bottle and began rubbing it all over my shaft. In a low voice he said, “I was worried that might be too much for you, but it looks like I was wrong. Did my Falyn enjoy that?”

“Mmm, yes, I like it,” I responded, my words coming out between gasps of pleasure. His slick hand felt so good, yet it wasn’t enough. I needed more. Something more intense. “Andri, I want– ah, I want to be inside you.”

“As my Falyn commands.” His hand stopped moving and held me in place. He shifted his hips and pressed my tip against his opening. Then slowly, so slowly it was almost painful, he lowered his hips and accepted me inside of him. When my tip had fully penetrated the outer ring of muscle, we both let out a sigh before he lowered his hips further.

Once I was fully encased in his warmth, Andrian remained still for a moment, letting his body adjust to my invasion. Then he grabbed my bound wrists tightly with both hands and started moving his body above me. He pressed his forehead against mine and stared deep into my eyes as I struggled to free myself from his grip. It wasn’t that actually I wanted to escape him, I just couldn't help but struggle against my restraints. It felt me feeling wild and breathless.

Both our movements increased and the sound of flesh meeting flesh grew louder and louder. As the pleasure between us built, one of Andrian’s hands moved from holding my wrists so he could stroke himself as he rode me.

“Harder,” he gasped, “deeper, harder.”

I took him at his word and doubled my efforts, feeling his insides twitching around me. It was more intense and rough than before, but it felt better than I could have imagined. I couldn’t think of anything but forcing my way deeper inside him. Harder, rougher, faster, my hips and his hand moving in time until I felt a warm liquid spill onto my stomach and Andrian tightened around me as he roared. I lost the last bit of control I had and released inside of him, my second climax overshadowing the first in its intensity.

We remained connected for another moment before Andrian climbed off and laid down beside me on the bed. He immediately pulled me into his arms, kissing my face and whispering endearments into my ears. As my consciousness faded, all I could hear was his voice telling me over and over again that he loved me and that he was mine. I forgot all about my worries and drifted away, wrapped in Andrian’s warm affection.

We departed the village early the next morning, just as the sun was rising.