Penny was sitting, relaxing on the couch, sipping on a fresh cup of brewed coffee, first thing in the morning when the doorbell exploded in a frenzy of repetitive chiming.  “DING DONG!  DING DONG!  DING DING DING DING DING DONG!!”

“Oh my!”  Almost spilling her hot drink, she hopped up as fast as her old bones could and began to hurriedly hobble over towards the front door.  Mornings were always rough on her joints and it often took her a few minutes to get herself up and going properly while the rest of the household was still sleeping in.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”  A frightened scream from upstairs made her hop, standing her hair up on end, and sent coffee exploding everywhere as she tossed her cup halfway across the floor in shock.  What the hell was going on upstairs now?!

“DING DING DING DING DING DING DONG!!” Worried as much as she was about whatever was going on upstairs, the doorbell downstairs wouldn’t stop its incessant blaring.  “I’m coming!  I’m coming,” she cried out towards the door, worriedly looking back towards the stairs going up.  She had no idea who or what was at the front door, but they weren’t giving her time to breath, much less check on things in a different part of the house.  She’d just have to trust that if something was wrong, Pam would be able to handle it for a dew moments before somebody broke the chime to the doorbell!

“BAM!  BAM! BAM!!”  Whoever it was now knocking on the door – almost frantically – as Penny rushed over and fumbled with the chain and lock.  “One damn minute!”  Cussing, which was quite unusual for her, was a sure sign that she was almost at her wits end as she finally pulled open the door wide and glared out to see who was beating on it so recklessly, before asking peevishly,  “What the hell do you want?”

“GRANNY!”  Laughing merrily, a young man which she didn’t recognize instantly skipped forward and threw his arms around her waist and hugged her tight.  “It’s been so long since I saw you!  How are you!  Are you good!  Did you miss me?  How is everybody?!”  Like a hurricane, his voice instantly rambled from one thing after another, leaving her blinking in surprise as he suddenly released his hug from around her waist and merrily skipped into the house.

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“I…  I think you’re confused with something young man,” Penny stammered as she brushed the wrinkles out of her dress.  A tidy appearance could help lead to a tidy mind, and her mind needed tiding up this morning.  “I’m afraid that I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before,” she stated kindly, thinking the young man was lost and confused.

“Uh huh!  I know, right?!”  Half dancing, the young gentleman spun around in place and laughed merrily.  “I’m over sixteen now and I haven’t met you yet, so it’s been a looong time, hasn’t it!  At least another lifetime for me, if we even met before in the previous one, you know!”  Skipping over, he suddenly reached out and grabbed Penny’s hand and pumped it up and down furiously several times. 

“Hi!  I’m William,” he suddenly introduced himself.  “Now we’ve met!  What’s for breakfast?  A pretty granny like you probably has some type of pie in the kitchen for me.  Right?”  Staring directly in her face, William’s eyes opened wide and he fluttered his eyelashes furiously several times while grinning wildly with his eyes sparkling bright and innocently. 

Blinking several times, Penny couldn’t help but laugh at the youthful exuberance and innocence the young man was exerting so brightly before her.  “I think I can probably find a piece of pie somewhere in the kitchen,” she admitted, as a slight smile slowly crept across the corner of her face, “but…”

“But?  But what?!”  William’s eyes opened even wider and he looked as if he was hanging onto her every word.  “There’s no buts in pie!”

“BUT,” Penny continued, a little more firmly, “you’re going to have to clean up the mess in the floor first.  You made me spill my…”

Before she could finish complaining about spilling her coffee, William turned and bolted past her and deeper into the house at a dead run.  “FOR THE PIE,” he screamed as he ran down the hall and threw open the first door he came to, looking for a towel or something similar to clean the floor with.

“Wait a moment,” Penny cried out after him.  “That’s the Lady’s bedroom!”

Too late…

William’s voice echoed out the door and down the hallway.  “HI!  I’m William!  Nice boobs!”

Trying not to laugh, Penny slowly turned and shut the door, before heading into the kitchen to look for pie.