After several long moments of agonizing pain, and an endless number of children coming by and mocking him, Seran finally managed to stagger to his feet. That old bastard had fought dirty! Seran was half of mind to go seek him out and kick him in the crotch a few dozen times in retaliation, but knew that wouldn’t help any in the long run. He had been given a quest – go and bring back five rockhoppers, or else he wouldn’t eat tonight.
Sera hated missing a meal, and she didn’t even want to imagine what it’d feel like for someone as massive as her current self to do without a meal!
The only problem was Sera had no idea where to find a rockhopper. Heck, she didn’t even know what the heck a rockhopper was! For a few moments Sera thought about asking someone about where to find one, but then he shrugged his massive shoulders. “Men no ask directions. Men just hunt!” Giving a mighty “Ugga!”, Seran stormed out of the little village and into the mountains.
Not knowing if one direction was better than another, Seran simply stomped forward in a straight line. “Me smell rock that hops this way,” he lied to himself and yelled “RAHR,” before giggling madly in his rough manly voice – which made him giggle even harder! Seran was laughing so hard snot was beginning to run down his mighty cheeks when something crashed into his back, sending a stinging pain up his spine and knocking him forward.
Halfway still tittering girlishly in his rugged manly voice, Seran turned around in time to see a large rock toss itself at him. Seran was a man, and men didn’t dodge! Boldly, he puffed out his chest and took the impact fully! “Little Rock, Seran smash you!” He roared and kicked at the rock as it ricocheted off his massive chest and cascaded downwards towards the ground. With a sound crack, his big toe broke as the rock flew through the air like a football punted on Super Bowl Sunday.
“Uggaaaah!!” Sera roared as the ball hit the ground and immediately began to bounce and roll back towards him, picking up speed with each tumble downhill. Snorting with fury, he charged up the hillside and attempted to crash his massive frame into the rock as he had with the chieftain earlier. The ball, however, bounced higher than Seran anticipated and crashed into his face, and bulleted through it ripping half his skull and head off in one single moment. Two new windows popped up as Seran’s body crashed to the ground like a tree falling in a windstorm.
You have been slain!
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Dead. Killed in her first fight with a monster! Sera couldn’t help but laugh out loud. This was GREAT! Looking at himself, he was once more nothing more than that hovering sphere of swirling rainbow light that she’d first seen at the character creation screen. “Respawn now! My healer isn’t here, so I can’t get a rezz!”, he yelled defiantly at the game.
Seran’s corpse shimmered and disappeared, with only the wolf pelt being left behind, and another pop-up window appeared. She didn’t have time to read it before the world suddenly swam past – much like it does when looking out a bullet train traveling at top speeds – and then she found herself standing naked inside a large graveyard area. Glancing around, no one else was currently nearby, but the window was still waiting for her to finish reading it.
Warning: You have lost a random item, due to death.
Gray Wolf Kilt has been removed from your inventory!
Looking down, Seran giggled quite femininely, in his deep manly voice.
“Look at my snake! HISS HISS!!” He exclaimed loudly while shaking his hips around in a circular motion. The view of his own body part swirling and shaking was too much for Seran, and he finally just collapsed and curled up on the ground and convulsively laughed madly.
After many long minutes of just lying there, trying to catch his breath and recover from his massive giggle fit, Seran finally got up and thumped his chest like an ape. Yelling, he exclaimed, “Me man! This me snake! Hear me roar! HIIIISSSSSSSSSSS HISSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Me coming for you, stupid rock that hops!”
Streaking and hissing like a madman, Seran charged naked down the hillside to find a new rockhopper to bang his head against. He wasn’t scared of no rock! He was man! Hear him HISSSSSSSS!!!